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Hanbee exhales slowly, carefully. He doesn’t want this to escalate to a fight without any backup or anyone even being aware of it. If something were to happen, nobody would know...

“You make it sound as if I should enjoy this,” He flips open his briefcase and pulls out his quinque, heart pounding. His voice is stern, but his thoughts say please don’t take my eyeballs, please don’t take my eyeballs, please don’t take my eyeballs.

“Ooooo, so cute,”  Seidou taunts, rolling his eyes again, cracking his neck.  “come on, ‘fraidy-cat.  Come kill the Big Bad Ghoul, if you’re not a coward.”

Was he salty over the eyeball?  A little.  But hey!  This guy had some too, so that was all good, it all works out.

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Relief came swiftly as Hanbee watched the potholders slide from their dangerous perch on the stove top and into Suzuya’s grip. He actually sighed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear and watching his superior’s deft hands weave the slices of fabric through the air. 

“Well, yes. I did make them.” He nodded, “But materials cost money, and I don’t think they make flame-resistant yarn. So perhaps Suzuya-senpai should be careful.”

    ❝ mmh hm hm~♪ ❞

  if it’d been anyone else, juuzou certainly would have hovered his fingers over the dials on the stove. with hanbee’s tendency to twist himself into pretzel-taffy knots already kicking into high gear, he’d decided that would be mean-spirited rather than funny. instead, he slides his thumbs through the loops on each end of the knitted potholders, first swinging them like pendulums before flipping them around one at a time. 

    ❝ but you made these ones, right—? ❞

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I’m always a slut for Hanbae!

Honeysuckle for devotion

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“Yes, of course I can.” He nodded, as if the skill weren’t uncommon. “I patch things up for Suzuya-senpai quite frequently. It’s a very useful skill in my squad. In fact--!” He rummaged around in his bag, producing a small portable sewing kit, “I keep this with me at all times!”

“Hm?” She glances down at the sleeve of her jacket- sure enough, like Hanbee says there’s a small tear in it that she hadn’t noticed before. “Oh… It must’ve gotten caught on something… You can sew, Hanbee?” She asks, glancing up at him.

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Her words came as a relief to him and he nodded before offering a small bow. Maybe it was a little much, but he felt he owed it after causing her an inconvenience. 

“Yes, of course!” He agreed, picking up his brief case and feeling the weight of the quinque inside, “I was on my way to work, but if you’d like I can buy you a drink for your trouble! They sell some bottled juices and coffees in the back! A gentleman should at least make the effort to apologize for these things.”

One eye snaps open to watch him as she sidesteps away. Pitiful as he may be, she’s not eager to have him get too close.

But she gives him a cheery smile nonetheless, for as little as she wants him near her, she wants to upset him even less - if only because she doesn’t want to risk causing a scene.

“Of course I don’t! I’m kidding, don’t worry, man. But uh, that was quite the hit. Be sure to watch your step next time.”

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He too, sees the person eating the cat treats. 

He’s internally monologue-ing about what he should do.

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“Whatever you do, please don’t turn the burner on.” Hanbee instructed, dutifully following him into the next room. 

The exaggerated tone in the first part of Suzuya’s speech wasn’t lost on Hanbee, but he chose to focus on the tension at hand instead. 

“I’m afraid you would have to spend much more money on pot holders than I did in order to have them actually be flame-proof...”

    ❝ flammable. ❞

  the word’s nearly breathless, a tone reserved for ( and undoubtedly done in mocking of ) the reveal of the traitor in a bad movie plot, accompanied by an exaggeratedly slow turn of his head towards the would-be offender. 

    ❝ but they are for handling hot things, and fire is just a very hot thing— nnh! i did not think of this. ❞

  juuzou twists his way out of his chair to head over towards the stove all the same. 

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“I am in the middle of knitting a sweater and I have run out of yarn. I didn’t purchase enough. I won’t be able to find yarn of this exact color at the store again.” 

                                                                               “What have I done?”

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He’d really just touched an eyeball. He held it in his hands, and he just-- he touched--

“By all of the cursed fates in the heave--” He sighed and pulled out his quinque briefcase. “I don’t--” He didn’t even know where to start with all of this. He really didn’t.

Seidou squishes his mouth together and closes his eyes, shaking his head for a moment, letting out a sigh that almost sounded like a bit of laughter.

“Well, buddy, m’pal, if you can’t tell it’s a real actual eyeball, maybe you oughta take your dumb Garfield ass out of here and I’ll be tempted to let you live.”

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“Ah...you seem so surprised by this,” He noted, furrowing his eyebrows as he moved his gaze from the tear to her face. “I didn’t always know how to sew. I learned. Boss Suzuya got tears quite often. I’ve gotten very good.”

“Hm?” She glances down at the sleeve of her jacket- sure enough, like Hanbee says there’s a small tear in it that she hadn’t noticed before. “Oh… It must’ve gotten caught on something… You can sew, Hanbee?” She asks, glancing up at him.

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screams dissolve into yodels

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“The smell of burnt food is always so pungent...”

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He dabbed dutifully at Suzuya’s face, the whole action part of a well-practiced routine they shared. But he clicked his tongue as he lowered the napkin and glanced back toward the kitchen once more. He itched to correct the problem, already imagining the whole apartment up in smoke. 

“W-well,” He began, fidgeting, “It’s bad insofar that the potholders are...very flammable...”

  it’s usual, and suzuya’s precisely the sort of person that doesn’t get embarrassed about these things (as the days he’ll wander around offices with dried frosting stuck to suspender straps proves), but he just tips forward to meet the drag of the napkin and hasten the process. that look on hanbee’s face is usual, too.

    ❝ yes. is that bad— you are making the face of things being bad. ❞

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“Hashbrowns are not nearly so vile as this...” He explained, voice dark. 

What would Boss Suzuya do? It was his day off and this encounter had certainly taken him by surprise. Maybe...it wasn’t what it looked like...? 

“Th-that’s very old Halloween candy...” He theorized weakly.

Aw man, and here he was, saving that for a snack later.  But there were prices he’d have to pay, and left overs would be one of them, he supposed.  But he sighs, as if this is more a game that he’s no longer interested in playing, and turns around.

“What?  Some of us like having food to eat later.  You take home your Denny’s harshbrowns, don’t you?”

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“Surely you don’t mean that...” He hesitated, taking a couple of steps after her. She seemed fine. She was just messing with him, right? Yeah, right. Of course...

“No, I’ll have to go to the hospital. You’re paying my medical bills!”

She adjusts the bag on her shoulder and turns away, her nose in the air. It’s more to mess with him than anything, to get him back for not looking where he was going; she isn’t hurt in the slightest.

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| @legaciisms | 

“Ah...not to be rude, but is that a tear in your sleeve?” He asked Akira, voice quiet and polite, “I could fix that for you very quickly!”

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| @ofbeingsecondbest |

“W-wait right there!” He ran after the ghoul, briefcase in hand, “You dropped thi--” The wadded up napkin the man had dropped unfurled in Hanbee’s hand just enough to reveal a disembodied human eyeball and he gagged before throwing it away from himself out of reflex. 

“G-good heavens!”