valiisthea - Tumblr blog

[valiisthea]

happy booping

[valiisthea]

Tbh all my brain can process right now is "F1" and since that is not something I can write on this blog I legit just sit here and cry.

feel free to follow my personal blog either from your personals or from your rp blogs I don't really care either way. I just know most people don't follow personals from RP blogs so if you've got a personal go for it. I scream about all my fandoms and I just want friends.

@starlightiing

[valiisthea]

My Zack muse is tingling

[valiisthea]

( And with all that said, I've def been thinking about some Roche/Cloud/Zack/Reno professional (or unprofessional illegal street racing) racing AUs. And I love them all so much -rubs my filthy hands- )

[valiisthea]

I'mma go on a mini rant here about nothing that anyone here cares about but it also does sort of relate to every fandom ever in a way.

The formula 1 crowds are, as a whole and not as individuals, massive dicks. The amount of gatekeeping is insane. Like, you are gatekeeping CARS GOING VROOM ON A TRACK. You are??? So cool??? Lmao, I dunno, it just drives me insane. It's like people aren't allowed to be "new" fans of things, ever. Someone has an opinion someone else doesn't agree with and they're like "lol, new to F1?" and it's like, nah mate the person you're accusing of being new has been watching for decades, you just don't know how to handle someone not agreeing with you. And even if they were new, SO WHAT??? Like lord is it harder to be a dick than it is to just maybe explain something to them they might not fully understand as of yet? You were there too once, Oh Ruler Of The Universe and F1 Knowledge.

Not only that, but the amount of animosity towards drivers and the lack of caring about their well-being in crashes -- or what I call "couch driving" like making fun of George Russell's crash and the way he was screaming for a red flag because, I dunno, he was scared to death of being hit and getting killed (or someone else getting killed) because he crashed and his car was sideways in the middle of the damned track?

Like, are you assing me out? Are you saying you would be stone faced and not at all concerned in the same position? You sure do say a whole lot of words for someone sitting on the couch with a bag of potato chips watching fast cars go nyoom for your entertainment.

Drives me bonkers, it really does. I know gatekeeping is a thing in every fandom so ya'll will probably at least be able to generally relate lmao.

Thanks for listening to the rant. As always, I send hugs and love to you all <3

[valiisthea]

Sighs not my FFVII muses coming back because of Rebirth. I've sort of shelved Roche for now since I am enjoying getting to write with one vs writing him for now but he does still exist if wanted.

I'm gaining a lot of muse for Zack and Tifa on top of already having Reno, Leslie, Biggs, and Wedge.

But also my brain is still in a very bad place and everything changes in me at the drop of a hat so take it with a grain of salt.

It was really nice to be able to write some FF16 again too! Though for some reason, it was much easier to slip into Barnabas than it was Dion who I mained for HOW LONG sheesh.

Grief and anger mentions beneath the snip snip.

I'm stuck in the 'anger' portion of my grief. I have 3 free therapy sessions through my insurance specifically to address grief that I will be going to starting next week. But the anger is really starting to be coming intrusive and concerning. I'm misplacing it too. I can notice all of this AFTER the fact, but I can't seem to stop myself in the heat of the moment. Like, my dogs pissed me off so much last night that I legitimately threw a (very small) vacuum at my door. I also slammed a lot of doors and screamed incredibly loudly into a pillow before storming out of the house and angrily marching around dollar general until I felt okay enough to come home. My anger does not ever get taken out on people or animals, even when they're the reasoning behind it, so I'm really really glad for that. But I am not the 'throwing a vacuum, running out of the house, slamming doors" kind of person and I didn't like any of that at all. But I felt so out of control in the moment.

I do think the anger and lack of patience is from the grief. I think I flutter in and out of the anger stage of grief and sometimes it just gets to be too much and I'm overstimulated and I just sort of...lose it. So I'm glad I'll have the therapy to address that. As soon as I calmed down I was booking appointments so damn fast because it is NOT acceptable behavior.

Aside from that, things have been okay at best. I just want my grandma and she's not here and she will never be here again and it's not fair to her. I struggle with it every day. I know it's only been a month (on sunday) and that it's still fairly fresh, but I didn't expect it to still be eating at me THIS intensely at this point.

I miss my fiance. I want him to come back desperately.

I want to write more, I think it's helping a bit to get some anger and frustration out but my motivation is so lacking, I feel like I cannot start anything without my hand being held.

On a happier note....I started playing pocket frogs again and those lil froggies are so damn cute. If nothing else, I have my froggo babies. And my best friend has been shiny hunting pokemon at night for me to fall asleep to so I don't feel so alone. I super appreciate that so much. AAAAND Stuart has been playing Rebirth a little bit every afternoon too so I can see the game/story since I don't have a ps5 so that's been nice too <3

[valiisthea]

"it's just a flesh wound. nothing major." // for any of your ffviir muses !

Memes! || Always Accepting @speedchasing

"Thaaaat looks like a little more than a flesh wound, pal." Though Reno is wholly unsurprised to hear a SOLDIER minimize their own damages.

It's part of what they're made to do.

"But I guess you weirdos regenerate pretty quickly, don'tcha? So, there's no need to sound the alarm."

[valiisthea]

How's everyone today? Drank some water? Had some food? Taken your meds? Sending lots of love to anyone under the weather mentally and/or physically. <3 Life is hard and its okay if you're not feeling okay. Feel free to share with me a woe or two, and/or something that has made you smile today. Things will get better.

[valiisthea]

The first 5 Asks to send 💋 get a kiss

[valiisthea]

He needs you more than he needs me. -> Dion {from here. He's referencing Joshua, based on his Revised FFXVI Verse.}

Memes! || Always Accepting @strawberry-barista

Something about that statement - however it was intended to be interpreted - settled heavy and thick in the pit of Dion's stomach. To be needed by anyone on a personal level - anyone outside of Terence, that is - felt almost...wrong.

There was little Dion could offer anyone beyond Bahamut. His time was even quite a rarity to obtain, bound and shackled by duty that ran so deep inside of him, it mixed with his very blood.

How, pray tell, could he have been of any use to Joshua if not in the form of Bahamut and Bahamut alone?

"I dare to negate your sentiment." Dion said softly, letting a weary sigh pass through scarcely parted lips. "I have naught to offer the Phoenix that would be of any use. Unless, of course, you know something more than I?"

[valiisthea]

"if you don't go now, i promise i'll make your life a living hell. " (To Barnabas)

Memes! || Always Accepting @ofcrimson

A silence settles comfortably in the air between them as the last of her threat finds itself rattling almost humorously in Barnabas' skull. Make his life a living hell?

Oh, if she could only know how that is already true.

An eyebrow quirks in interest, and a low chuckle claws up from the back of his throat.

"I dare you, my dear, to make good on that promise. Nay, I beg of you. Let us see what hell you believe you can bestow upon me."

[valiisthea]

❛ You're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜ [For Reno, totally *not* baiting him ;) ]

Memes! || Always Accepting @therapardalis

"Well, now. Finally, someone with - wait a minute."

Reno narrows his eyes, finger pointed at her in blatant accusation.

"Who says that? You makin' shit up?"

[valiisthea]

"Partners? Tch, I've already got one'a those." Reno waves a dismissive hand, remaining as nonchalant as possible while simultaneously observing as much of the SOLDIER as he can.

Yep, he's got the eyes. And the weird fuckin' personality, too. Probably harmless - at least to someone like Reno.

"But I am the fastest Turk in the 'biz', you got that right. Ain't no slowin' me down."

❛ SOLDIER 3RD CLASS roche , at your service , ❜ roche says almost nonchalantly , greeting reno with a casual two - finger salute , though that smug grin on his lips follows all too quickly as he eyes the turk up and down with a quiet curiosity . ❛ word is that you're the fastest turk in the biz ! excellent ⸻ i am in dire need of an individual who is not afraid of a little speed . i'm certain we will be steadfast partners , you and i ! ❜

[valiisthea]

{ surprise me tbh. no muses off limits. }

[valiisthea]

🐝  *  ―  𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑹𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑶𝑴 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  please don't leave me alone. i cannot do this without you.  ❜ ❛  just fucking leave me alone!  ❜ ❛  i'm done crying about this. i'm done crying about you.  ❜ ❛  why do you even pretend to care?  ❜ ❛  will i ever be good enough?  ❜ ❛  i hate you!  ❜ ❛  i don't ever want to see you again.  ❜ ❛  if you don't go now, i promise i'll make your life a living hell.  ❜ ❛  did you ever really love me? or was it all just a game to you?  ❜ ❛  you're not my friend ... not anymore.  ❜ ❛  i don't love you anymore.  ❜ ❛  how could you do this to me? i trusted you!  ❜ ❛  i gave you my heart, and you just walked away like it meant nothing.  ❜ ❛  it's all my fault, isn't it? i ruin everything i touch.  ❜ ❛  this is goodbye. i hope you find the happiness i couldn't give you.  ❜ ❛  can't you see i'm hurting? or do you just not care enough to notice?  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who i am anymore. it's like i've lost myself along the way.  ❜ ❛  i never thought i'd see you again. why did you come back into my life now?  ❜ ❛  i'm finally happy ... why do you have to try and ruin this?  ❜ ❛  i never meant to hurt you.  ❜ ❛  what happened to us? we used to be so good together.  ❜ ❛  promises are just words, meaningless and easily broken.  ❜ ❛  i pushed you away when all i wanted was for you to stay.  ❜ ❛  why couldn't you love me back? am i not enough?  ❜ ❛  i never meant for you to find out like this. i'm so sorry.  ❜ ❛  i wish we could go back and fix the moment everything went wrong.  ❜ ❛  i feel like we're drifting apart, and no matter how hard i try, i can't stop it.  ❜ ❛  i can't believe you'd say that to me.  ❜ ❛  i thought you knew me, but your words make me question everything.  ❜ ❛  i'm trapped between two impossible choices, and neither one feels right.  ❜ ❛  no matter what i choose, someone i care about is going to get hurt.  ❜ ❛  once trust is broken, can it ever be truly repaired?  ❜ ❛  you don't get it! no one does ...  ❜ ❛  no matter what i do, it's never enough.  ❜ ❛  you said you'd always be there for me. where were you when i needed you the most?  ❜ ❛  why should i have hope when everything around me is falling apart?  ❜ ❛  i can't move forward. i keep reliving this moment over and over again, and i'm stuck.  ❜ ❛  i thought i was doing the right thing ... but i realize now that i was wrong.  ❜ ❛  was it all just a lie?  ❜ ❛  i don't even know who i am anymore. i've lost myself in trying to please everyone else.  ❜

[valiisthea]

&. 𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐬 (𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬?) 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  various  dialogue  prompts  to  send  to  your  worst  enemy  (affectionate).  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ oh great, it's you again. ❜

❛ you? kill me? that's funny. ❜

❛ for being someone you hate, i'm sure on your mind a lot. ❜

❛ you're the last person i wanted to see, actually. ❜

❛ do us both a favor. stay away from me. ❜

❛ you really are an asshole, you know that? ❜

❛ i'm the asshole? what does that make you then? ❜

❛ sometimes i think you must hate me. ❜

❛ i thought you said you never wanted to see me again. ❜

❛ if you want me to go, then you have to tell me to leave. ❜

❛ well, someone's cranky today. ❜

❛ well, someone needs to shut the fuck up. ❜

❛ just stay out of my way. ❜

❛ of all the idiots in the world, i'm stuck with you. ❜

❛ what is it you want this time? ❜

❛ sometimes i wonder if you're in love with me. ❜

❛ do you honestly think this is easy for me? ❜

❛ why would i ever want to be friends with you? ❜

❛ can we please just talk? ❜

❛ there is nothing for us to talk about. ❜

❛ you can yell at me later. just let me help you. ❜

❛ touch me, and you're dead. ❜

❛ oh, so now you care? ❜

❛ there is something deeply wrong with you. ❜

❛ i know i'm the last person you probably want to see, but... ❜

❛ you don't think we could be friends, do you? ❜

❛ i'm tired of fighting against you. ❜

❛ don't pretend you give a shit about me. ❜

❛ you're an idiot, but... i trust you. ❜

❛ oh, don't be cute. ❜

❛ wait, did you just say that i'm cute? ❜

❛ we're not good for each other. ❜

❛ if i say yes, will you shut up? ❜

❛ don't you have to be stupid somewhere else? ❜

❛ maybe we should kiss just to break the tension. ❜

❛ i'm sorry i can't turn off my feelings as easily as you. ❜

❛ maybe there's a universe out there where we're friends. ❜

❛ how can you be so smart yet so dumb at the same time? ❜

❛ don't think this changes anything between us. ❜

❛ you look ridiculous in that outfit, by the way. ❜

❛ if you die, i'll kill you. ❜

❛ is that a challenge? ❜

❛ ah, so you're not heartless after all. ❜

❛ i don't think i've ever seen you smile. ❜

❛ you never cared about me, so why now? ❜

❛ why didn't you kill me when you had the chance? ❜

❛ i don't even remember why we started fighting. ❜

❛ i don't have time for distractions right now. ❜

❛ you're not as bad as everyone says you are. ❜

❛ enemies make the best lovers, you know. ❜

[valiisthea]

"I'M FINE, JUST GO ON WITHOUT ME!" PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue, adjust as necessary

i can handle this myself.

you go on ahead. i'll catch up in a minute.

it's just a flesh wound. nothing major.

am i bleeding? is that my blood?

well, that complicates things just a bit.

i think it's better if i stay here.

i'll just hold you back.

i'm not leaving without you.

just go on without me!

i'll catch up with you! keep going!

it's not worth it! i won't make it in time!

i'll hold them off!

get out of here now!

you promised we'd do this together.

keep moving! i'll cover you!

if you leave now, i can hold them off!

i don't think we're both getting out of this alive.

you know what you have to do.

i'll find another way out!

i'm not leaving you to die!

i think i'm stuck down here!

the door's jammed! i can't get it open!

can you hear me? you need to keep moving!

don't waste your time with me!

get up! on your feet! i'm not leaving without you!

we always knew this was a one way trip.

i'll get them back to the ship. you go on ahead.

i won't be much use to you up there. might as well stay here.

i'll just rest here.

you don't have time to patch me up.

i don't think i can walk anymore.

i'll come back for you. i promise.

this isn't how we planned it.

this never should have happened.

we should have been smarter about this.

i don't want to do this without you.

you have to get up. please get up.

we're supposed to finish this together.

i promised [name] i wouldn't leave you here.

i need you to stay strong for me.

stay here and hide. i'll be back for you.

i'll carry you if i have to.

i'm only going to slow you down. it's not worth it.

listen to me. you have to do this without me.

i'll meet you there. i promise.

one of us has to survive this! might as well be you!

if you stay, we'll both die. do you understand?

they need you more than they need me.

no matter what happens... know that i love you.

this isn't goodbye.