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More sketches, more junks 🌸

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Apple 🪱

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Small collab with @fr0gery for @code1r15 🥺🌸

And other stuff i did for Adam and Iris 🌸☺️

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overthinking about the 18th century

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I've had such a hectic start to the week that I barely have time to catch my breath. And it leads to some comical mistakes.

I was on the line with work tech support, and since they asked me to hold, I got distracted by Tumblr, where there was a little discussion about Haytham on his knees, haha. I turned to my husband and started sharing some thoughts about it. And by the end of my rambling, I realized that tech support had been on the line with me the whole time and my mic was on.

Oh my god, how embarrassing. How stupid. I do too many things at once and just forget where I am in the moment.

Also, I was asked to draw Rufus Shinra for a Final Fantasy zine. And right after that, the figure of him I ordered arrived. Such a pleasant coincidence. He's so delightful

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S H A R D S

Forever fave Adam Jensen by @refinedstorage 💜 Thank you for this gorgeous gift!!

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I'm waiting for my idea to get approved for the FF7 zine and I have no idea what to do with myself. So why not make a short, meaningless sketch?

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I understand that Charles Lee doesn’t evoke much sympathy from players, but he’s not as one-dimensionally villainous as he’s often portrayed. He was a man of his time, his country, and his mindset (which, of course, seems horrifying to us now). In truth, it was Haytham and Connor who were the anomalies in that society.

Charles’s comments about Ziio were fairly typical for the 18th century. What stood out was Haytham’s attitude toward her, as she was not only a woman but also of Native origin. People of that time did not understand such behavior. They would have understood it if he had “brought her into civilization,” like Silas attempted to do earlier. But the respect Haytham showed her was seen as weakness or even foolishness. And Charles and the Order didn’t burn the Mohawk village, they came to warn them. It was their prejudice toward Native people that ruined everything, just as it did with Johnson’s negotiations. In both cases, there was no evil intent, they were simply carrying out Haytham’s orders.

Haytham, however, was increasingly doubting the meaning behind both the Templars’ and Assassins’ missions, and this took a toll on his ability as Grand Master. Lee’s criticism was, in that sense, justified. Though I still believe he respected Haytham. Realistically, Haytham should have left the Order. Hiss age, his doubts, and his growing disillusionment meant he no longer had the strength to lead. He no longer believed in the First Civilization myths or in the grand direction the Templars wanted to impose on humanity. In the end, he accomplished nothing: the Brotherhood he destroyed was reborn, the Temple remained sealed, the amulet was useless, and he had lost any real sense of purpose. It was only stubbornness that kept him on that path.

Perhaps Charles’s disobedience mirrored the way Haytham himself began to avoid Birch, questioning his own Grand Master. But both Charles Lee and Connor were men fully convinced of their own righteousness. Maybe that’s what Haytham admired, and why he wanted to spare them both. He valued that certainty, that conviction, something he lacked in himself.

As much as I try to undertand Haytham's mindset, there's one thing I never grasped; his relationship with Charles Lee.

Haytham is an intelligent man, a decent judge of character, at times driven by emotions, but never naive.. Yet, he seemed to see in Charles what I never could. Charles Lee never gave a rat's ass about Haytham, merely sucking up to the man to fall in his good graces. That facade quickly fades over time, something Haytham himself notes upon, but never counters. Even sacrificing himself, despite the knowledge that it would not slow Connor.

It's truly fascinating to witness. Partially, it comes across as a desperate and lonely man's attempt to form and maintain a sense of brotherhood, the likes of which he had been unfamiliar with in his younger years. But it also reads as a foolish man's attempt to destroy the very same notion by stoking the flames.

I genuinely wonder what Haytham saw in Charles. It wasn't devotion to him, nor unwavering respect and companionship. Charles is seen disobeying Haytham again and again, disrepecting him again and again, being bold enough to defy him outright and voice his disdain. Perhaps it is that... The idea that a man was brave, or perhaps, foolish enough to do so, and by doing so, made his own bed and Haytham merely saw to it that he'd lie in it.

I wonder, had it not been for Charles returning Haytham to his duties after months of absence, would Haytham have returned? Would he have been spared? Had Haytham joined Shay, would he have lived?

And I'm aware Haytham wanted Connor to tear down the Order, to an extent, and him with it. But in a hypothetical sense, how large and wide would that ripple effect have traveled?

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Arno, please don’t lose these letters

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Productivity has left me. I've been working on art for AC for three weeks now… it's weird. On top of that, I'm so exhausted from it that I had to switch to sketching. I just hope I can finish it

And now Connor with braids:

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I draw or i starve. I draw.

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this might be an unpopular opinion, but...

I genuinely do not like the direction the Assassin's Creed games are taken in. Yes, the RPG-like gameplay is exciting at first, as there is so much to see, to explore and to interact with, but with it comes this needless grind when under the constant thumb of level-caps, that force you to interact with side-content that will eat up a large chunk, if not most, of your playtime, that by the time you reach the level required to play the damn story mission, you've already forgotten what the fuck the story is about. Not to mention, dozens of characters get thrown into the mix and my brain just short-circuits trying to remember who tf some random name is that is brought up half-way through the game.

I just prefer a linear game with a contained world to explore, to avoid the story from becoming muddied by additional information and content that contributes little to the narrative. Besides, the AC lore is already so convoluted at times, we really don't need most of this. Feels like I'm playing Farcry Assassin...

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My first OC, created a long time ago for a cyberpunk setting. Her name is Eris. She eventually became the starting point for a whole group of cyborgs with flower-themed names.

Eris is very old. She’s 95 years old, 56 of which she has spent in a digitized state.

She has a fully augmented body with organic elements. She also has no legal personhood, is not recognized as a human being, and is considered digital property of a corporation.

She is a unique case of digital survival. Her core personality clings to existence with obsessive persistence. Her behavior ranges from ironic and performative to unexpectedly empathetic, but underneath it all there is only one goal — to stay alive.

Her identity includes not just her current physical body, but a large digital infrastructure as well.

When CP2077 came out, Adam Smasher and Johnny combined reminded me of her a lot.

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They’re so soft 🤧

Arno feels like one of the tiniest Assassins, and he and Elise are basically the Cloud and Tifa of the AC universe. I love seeing shorter characters in games so much. Just a couple of averagely-sized little guys instead of the usual seven-foot muscle mountains. It’s comforting.

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I kept wondering, for that long i have left the pencil, using only mouse and fingers to draw on digital platforms, how much did my skills change on paper?

Truth is, i got a little angry. And i'm more resilient when i'm angry

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Adam Jensen + Pride 2.0

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Collaboration with my friend on the first one 🥰🌸🌸🌸

The second one i tried to draw their interaction with Pritchard's face being seen lmao 😭😭😭