vansonthemoon44

[vansonthemoon44]

Haters gonna hate, hate, hate...Playas gon play! Keep on playin, Hawkeyes! #5 #B1G #GoHawks #OnIowa #BringFloydHome #BlackandGold #Iowa

[vansonthemoon44]

@knucklepuckil killed it tonight. Had so much fun! #NeededThis #EverythingisCopacetic "This is therapy for me! This is what helps me keep on going!!!" (at Gabe's Iowa City)

[vansonthemoon44]

When someone says love is in the air

[vansonthemoon44]

When you remember song lyrics from 93757393 years ago.

[vansonthemoon44]

beartooth

[vansonthemoon44]

THE STORY SO FAR // PLAYING THE VICTIM

[vansonthemoon44]

im looking to follow more blogs!!

if you post any of the following:

all time low

famous last words

beartooth 

pierce the veil

twenty one pilots

panic! at the disco

my chemical romance

sleeping with sirens

fall out boy

blink-182

the homeless gospel choir

muse

pvris

tonight alive

we are the in crowd

fit for rivals

reblog this and i will follow you!

[vansonthemoon44]

[vansonthemoon44]

I'm Not Okay

So, my car broke down, and I think my life is over. I’m so upset right now. I just want to scream.

My car dealer told me I needed to get it fixed because he thinks the transmission is going bad. The whole thing was going to be under my warranty, but my dad thinks they won't cover it anymore because now the thing won't even start. I tried to get my car in to get fixed, but the people who were supposed to fix it were slammed with work so they couldn't get me in. So time goes on and of course I just don't think about it because my car has been running just fine. Until now of course, on the 4th, when Maddi and I were supposed to go camping. I seriously can't even do Lyfe right now. I'm so upset.

And of course my dad’s doing the "fatherly thing" and yelling at me because I didn't get my car in sooner. Like, gee, thanks dad really need this right now! I seriously need a hug and someone's shoulder to cry on.

Someone please help me, I'm not okay!!

Like, how am I supposed to see my daughter now?! How am I supposed to get to work?! My world is falling apart all around me and I'm going insane. IM NOT OKAY!!!!!! 😭😭😭😖😖😖 This is my call for help. My mind is weak. I'm a weak person! I cannot do this anymore!!!

Sometimes I just wish I could disappear and never come back.

I'm already in so much debt and still paying off this car. If they won't cover this, I won't be able to make it. I don't know what to do!

Idk. Check out "I'm Not Okay" by My Chemical Romance if you haven't already and cry with me. 😖😖😖😖😣😣😣😰😰😰😰😫😫😫😓😓😓😓😓😢😢😔😔😔😭😭😭😭😢😢😭😰😰😰😰😫😫😥😥😕😔😔😔😔😔😔😔

#SingleDadLyfe #ConstantWorkInProgress

[vansonthemoon44]

The 4Th of July 🇺🇸🇺🇸

The 4th is a tradition in our family! It's a time of year where we all get together and have the best time!

You see, that's the best thing about being a German...Family. Our family is very close. We all have our problems, but we all come together for each other.

So, my cousin has property down right across the Iowa/Missouri border where we go camping. This place is amazing. I don't know square footage, or acreage lingo, otherwise I'd let you know how big it is. It's decent siZe though. It's off of Lake Marie. It has a cabin, trampoline, small pond at the edge, and a horse shoe pit.

This place is magical!

You can ferreal drink like 30 beers and be perfectly fine...

Anyway, Maddison plays on the trampoline the entire weekend with her favorite cousins: Eli, Jessie, Mia, and Kailey! We also go fishing on the lake. Maddie has a little pink fishing pole with a fake fishy on the end of the line. She loves it so much and can even decently cast it. I'm so proud of that little girl!

And, Kamisky! OMG. Don't even get me started on how much he loves that place! There are literally like 10-15 dogs down there at one outing. They all run around off leashes getting dirty as hell. Kamisky is in literal dog heaven. But, out of all the dogs, all of them know not to mess with the queen, Soph. Sophie is a big 'ol black lab who don't take shit from no one. She belongs to my uncle Rocky. She's bae. She keeps the peace among all the pooches. Well, Kamisky is a bad MF when he's there, well at least he thinks he is haha. Rolling in dead animals is his favorite past time there. He's rolled in multiple dead snakes. 😑 A couple years ago he wouldn't touch the pond, and now I can't keep him away from that ish.

So, as you all know fireworks are legal in Missouri. Everyone that comes gets at least $100 worth of fireworks for the night. And, as we all know, fireworks and alcohol doesn't mix very well haha. So far we are so good with no MAJOR injuries while lighting these minor explosives. Bahaha.

Anyway, I'm gonna try and keep it short tonight! I won't be writing very much this weekend due to the holiday and hanging out with that beautiful girl of mine! ☺️ So, I hope you all have a wonderful 4th, just know that I will be enjoying every second of it! #MERICA

Tonight I'm going to suggest a new band to me that I've been listening to a crazy amount lately. There name is Beartooth. Check out Bodybag! Shit's important to me as any song I'll probably tell you about on here haha!

#SingleDadLyfe #ConstantWorkInProgress 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[vansonthemoon44]

Made a handfull of these. Beartooth.

[vansonthemoon44]

Beartooth- Sick and Disgusting 

(Flickr; Original photo)

[vansonthemoon44]

In the center of this crowd sits Warped Tour founder Kevin Lyman.

After expressed outrage at Lyman’s decision to allow Jake Mcelfresh (Front Porch Step) to play the Nashville date of Warped Tour, Lyman scheduled an open forum for all concerned parties on the tour.

Over 100 people showed up.

In the crowd their were bands, acoustic musicians, Youtubers, roadies, Merch people, managers, and more who came together to stand up for their fans. All waiting for answers as to how this was allowed to happen.

During the meeting Lyman discussed Mcelfresh’s ongoing treatment, his time in a residential care center, and the therapy he’s currently undergoing. He shared about the length of time Mcelfresh spent on suicide watch. He told the group that Mcelfresh’s consoler had asked that as a part of his recovery he be allowed to play. Mcelfresh was continuously escorted by security guards for his own safety, and the safety of others. Another speaker, a woman, spoke about how triggering things like seeing Mcelfresh can be for young girls who have been through trauma.

Lyman also spoke about Austin Jones, a Youtuber who removed himself from the tour after controversial rumors began to spread about a twerk video he made. Lyman expressed his interest in having Jones join the tour later, as no sexual follow ups were made nor was there any nudity involved.

Overall, he does not condone what Mcelfresh did nor does he think Front Porch Step has a place in the music scene anymore. However, he does believe in supporting people who make efforts to better themselves. He believed that allowing Mcelfresh this opportunity would help him in his therapy. Lyman apologized at the end, and expressed that he felt he had made a mistake springing this on the tour and not thinking enough about the effect Mcelfresh’s presence may have.

Thought the course of the day numerous bands stepped up over Twitter to show their disapproval of any decision that may not be in the interest of the fans. Aaron West on the Acoustic Basement stage refused to preform today as a protest to Mcelfresh’s presence.

[vansonthemoon44]

Transitional Period.

Okay, the worst part about going from relationship lyfe to single lyfe is definitely the "transitional period."

Okay, so, the number one worst thing about the "transitional period" is not being in a routine anymore. It's all F'd up! I have to now get up at different times I'm used to, I'm not sleeping, for obvious reasons, and for some reason even hygiene is somewhat difficult sometimes (Sorry TMI). I'm mostly avoiding the sleep, I'm not really eating as much, and hygiene lacks because I'm staying up so late. I'm adjusting, but it's difficult.

Second hardest thing getting used to is definitely moving back in with your parents. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents more than anything! They are one of my true rocks in my life and I owe everything to them. There's just some things you can't do anymore...or in the same ways. For example. I have to partake in cleaning the house again. I love helping out its just not the same as your used to back in your own home. It's not yours! If that makes sense.. Like doing chores again, without getting that allowance! Haha. One other example: Imagine being 23 years old and going out. You meet a really attractive female or someone you can connect with, and she's really cool. She says to you near the end of the night, "Let's get out of here." And you just freeze for like a solid 5 seconds and think to yourself, I can't bring this girl back to my parents house! 1) it's not just awkward for me, but for my parents AND most likely this attractive girl you just met. You wanna get out there and "mingle," but it's like you're missing that one extra piece, which can be frustrating at times...

Sorry, if most of this is just me rambling.

It's not just me learning to adjust to a different place either, my dog and Maddi are affected by it too. Kamisky (my pup) is the most temperamental dog you will ever meet. He has the worst anxiety. Poor dog doesn't eat for days at a time because I know he's hurting like I am. I try to give that dog the most attention possible. I can't even imagine what's going through his head while I'm at work. Thank god for my brother being home most of the time with him, but when he's not there I worry about him. He's my first born. I love him so much. We're going camping this weekend, so he'll get some much needed love from the family and all their dogs! I can tell he's already excited.

So it seems Maddi is doing really well with it, but everyone I've talked to tells me it's really hard on a young child to go from one bed to another so often. I have noticed a few things that are kind of "off" about her behavior. Like, at night she says some really depressing things. I don't wanna say what she says, but as a father, that stuff tears you up inside. Sometimes I just don't know what to say to her, so all I can really do is hold her and comfort her. This is the hardest part for me as I'm sure it is for her too. Being a father is weird, man. Especially being a single one. Shit's hard. But, I know what I have to do for her, because she is the most important thing in my life.

*This is my life, and this life is my diamond!* Works perfectly there. These lyrics will also be a future tattoo of mine. I'm going to have that quote with a very shiny diamond, like crystal clear cut diamond, with Maddison's birthdate in jt. I'll touch on tattoos some other time though...

Well, I'm sure I've bored you guys enough tonight, so I'll say adios! Thanks a lot if anyone out there is actually reading these, it means a lot.

Tonight I'll suggest a newer, but not so newer artist. Twenty One Pilots. They are absolutely murdering it right now, and they also write a lot of stuff about coping with depression and sad stuff like that, but they help me. Maybe they could help someone else too...Anyway check out Car Radio if you haven't already!

#SingleDadLyfe #ConstantWorkInProgress

[vansonthemoon44]

Random shopping list... #SingleDadLyfe #ConstantWorkInProgress

[vansonthemoon44]

Single life

So, single life is new... Been single for a little over a month now, and it's getting easier. After being in a relationship for almost 10 years of my young life, it's really time I need to find myself and be happy on my own. Of course I'm never on my own; because I always have my beautiful daughter, my loyal as hell pooch, family, and some friends left...I'll touch on friends at a later post. 

 So, the main thing I've been really focusing on lately is keeping busy. Like, as busy as fucking possible. One of my new favorite things to do is play frisbee golf with my brother and his friends. It's a great way to get some sun and keep active. I'm currently really horrible and only using a mid, but I have improved. I go at least 3-4 times a week...so hit me up some time to play! I've been crazy busy in the gym too. It's time for me to get back in shape, because we all know that relationship life makes you lazy AF! I wanna give a serious shout out to my meathead of a brother for pushing me everyday and making me some crazy workout plans...I'm down 15lbs! So thanks Sam!

I feel like I could write all night right now... 

 I'll touch on one other thing tonight... I've spent the last month coming up with small goals to work on myself. So far, so good on all of them. I'm going to constantly come up with new ones to keep improving me. As the famous quote from Set Your Goals goes, "My life, a constant work in progress!"

Well, I think that's all for tonight so I'll leave you with some dope music to check out. I want to do this every post, because music is hella important to me and should be to everyone out there! I know this is really generic for me, but we all know I love punk music, so check out my boys in

handgunsband

they've helped me out in more ways than they even know and I appreciate them so much so check them out! They have new music coming out in the near future, but in the mean time check out their old ass EP "A Year In Review!" Good night everyone, I'm going to try and post at least once a day! #StayPossi #SingledadLyfe #constantworkinprogress!

[vansonthemoon44]

I swear...