vanthemad - Tumblr blog

[vanthemad]

My problem right now is that I don't know if I need advice, or if I actually don't need advice. I think it's worse if I do know what to do and just don't like it.

[vanthemad]

and now, for the terrifying part!

[vanthemad]

In my poems, I am a grub

I am a pale, soft thing

Horrible to behold,

A pestilence not yet given form.

[vanthemad]

hi void, i’ts been 4 years and i feel the need to shout again

[vanthemad]

I stood there in the dark and the rain wind ruffled the hem of my dress and pulled at the smoke on my lips as I metered out my venom

I had no scale by which to weigh the weightless stone I carried; no feather against my heart would await me in the forest

I thought of you, as the storm swelled I wished you’d come to me that if you came to me, in that moment that stone would vanish.

I waited, lungs filled with poison burning in the cold air of night and I wanted to turn around- then you were there.

[vanthemad]

that time andy samberg was a complete savage re: the guys choice awards

[vanthemad]

the witch tree

[vanthemad]

The house at the corner of Helen Ave was haunted. Everyone knew it. It's not hard for a townie to spot a haunted house, they grew like weeds since the factories shut down in the eighties. At least half the town had been haunted when the Morlocks were kids. New developments had come in since then, though- exorcism by bulldozer, according to Nicky- and there weren't so many haunted houses now. The house on Helen was the most haunted one left.

[vanthemad]

I’m just a chauvinistic showman masking lechery with romance another sicko quoting Romans to inflate myself

[vanthemad]

memorybank

(inprnt)

[vanthemad]

salt

I thought maybe it was thirst, skin so dry to make me the dunes. Longing for the cool moisture of your life in my mouth, unprepared for the brine.

I cannot drink the ocean, no more than you can sup on sand, and so, our mouths empty, I loosen my fingers and you pour freely from them.

I am parched, even now, and I will drag myself along this beach broken bones for dowsing. I do not seek to kill myself and so cannot drink from you.

[vanthemad]

There’s sharks in the air and plastic in the water they can smell our blood and it makes them bleed us harder There’s vulture in the temple coyote packs in the street Crocodiles in the swamp and they think its time to eat

So we turn our blood to poison we up the dosage every day Saying “Better that we kill ourselves so they can’t have their way” We forget that we can eat the rich and live to fight another day

So stay alive- tread water- do anything you’ve gotta because the sharks are up above us now but we all came from the water.

[vanthemad]

Madeleine comtesse de Montgomery, madame Jean Bonnardel, by Federico Beltrán Masses 1934.

[vanthemad]

today’s failure does not guarantee tomorrow’s

[vanthemad]

I had thought I was called! Hidden eternities blossomed in words of song, galaxies turned with my gaze- and I heard my name in the fire at the heart of you.

I am called! I hear it in stories, blessed histories not lived! This burning song calls to me from my own heart!

[vanthemad]

i should start a zine