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parents will be be like 'i didn't raise you this way' and im like damn who did then was it the easter buhold on post cancelled my bus just went past a house with a gay Welsh flag in the window. epic

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I feel like I'm seeing a slight increase in Johnny Silverhand being interpreted as an antagonist, or a Bad Person™️, or a semi-hysterical fraud whose pointless or doesn't really believe anything.

And I really hate that. Part of the beauty of Cyberpunk 2077 is how inescapable the machine is. Johnny serves that in so many ways. He serves it in being the person stupid/passionate enough to do something about Arasaka... and it doesn't matter and it sends him to a transhumanist hell. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. How you play influences how Johnny is with you to an extent, but I don't believe there's any level where he's enthusiastic and chill about slowly eating someone's existence & overwriting them.

Every "rant" Johnny has is correct. Especially early on, he's dismissive of V for not unpacking any of this yet. He's not registering anyone to vote and I'd hardly choose him to move your grandmother left or whatever, but his intensity reflects the intensity of the dystopia. It reflects that he was from a time when there wasn't time to let a revolution build and now in a time where there's no time because you, V, and he, a malignant warped soul (because Soulkiller is ironic to a degree, babyyyy) are literally dying.

Johnny's goodbye tour isn't to show you he's a Bad Person™️. Before I touch on what it does show, I need us to get real about the people in his life. Alt was coerced into working with war criminals. Rogue is coerced into working with war criminals. Kerry is owned by the war criminal record label (which arguably could exist to control what anti establishment in entertainment looks like) and is so maladjusted he wants to blow up and murder three 20 year olds who sample his music. Johnny's apology tour is an acknowledgement that he hurt these people, but it's also an acknowledgement that he loves them, an acknowledgement that they did their best in his lifetime, and are doing their best now.

There are no Good People™️ in Cyberpunk 2077. The closest we get are Jackie Welles and Judy Alvarez. And Jackie was a former ganger who turned to higher crime in pursuit of freedom & stability & it got him killed. Judy endlessly suffers as, one by one, the people around her die or disappear or get swallowed up by Corpos. No matter what you do, Judy loses and Judy flees Night City. Jackie's death echoes Johnny's death. Judy, I think, has the most in common with Rogue.

I think we have to be less cynical when we engage with art that depicts an exaggerated but increasingly resonate dystopia that reflects our own. We're all in there. Maybe none of us are at that point yet, but our lives aren't at that point of dystopia yet. I think we should be open to what kind of fuck up we are. Because we are. And ideological purity and obsessive lore mining & insistence on a One True Canon™️ in a ttrpg/rpg that is made to be shaped by us, the player, not just in our choices but in its entirety, is a kind of fucked up. What does that tendency in us look like twenty, fifty, eighty years from now? I think that's the power of Cyberpunk 2077. I think that's the tragedy of Johnny Silverhand.

He did his best. And he did more than many other people. He talked the talked, he walked the walked, and he FAILED. Like, goddamn... how many pieces of media are still willing to go there?

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15 years later malcolm is a tortured self loathing closet homosexual who went straight from fumbling girls in middle andhigh school to fumbling men as an adult, francis is still happily married to piama but has explored his attraction to men via the occasional threesome, reese does pro wrestling in drag as a side hustle, and dewey is a woman. it's in the bible look it up john 3:16

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Early seasons Malcolm in the middle episode: Malcolm and Stevie fight for the attention of the cute new girl in their class. Reese gets suspended from the hockey team for beating his own coach over the head with his stick. Dewey wants a new toy and concocts a scheme to swipe his parents's credit cards using the power of cuteness. Lois joins the PTA and accidentally becomes leader of an uprising against the school board. Hal and Abe argue over who has the best Hawaiian shirt collection. At military school, Francis tries to releases 4000000 poisonous stinging insects into Spangler's office but they escape through the window, causing a statewide crisis.

Late seasons Malcolm in the middle episode: While drafting his suicide note, Malcolm decides to leave all of his belongings to "his favorite brother," and spends the episode trying to decide who he hates the least. Reese gets arrested for putting stray cats in a blender and selling cups of it to the neighborhood children. Lois can't find a babysitter for Jamie and has to miss Dewey's music recital, so Dewey calls CPS on himself. Francis and Piama get evicted but survive through the power of love. Hal joins a cult.

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fall out boy secret show, boston, 11/06/2008

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fuckin hate johnny silverhand. ooh look at me im johnny silverhand. i sit on things and insult you and backseat drive your life. that im ruining, btw. the first thing i ever did was get in a fistfight with you. i hate prostitutes and think they're stupid for no reason. i killed 10000+ people with a nuke and i still think it was a good choice. oooh look at me. im johnny silverhand i get genuinely concerned when you fall. i gave you my dog tags as a promise to die for you. i sit on your couch and ride in your car and crack jokes. im johnny silverhand i went across the blackwall to bargain with my ex for your life with no regard for my own survival. i got you a tattoo of our names in a cupid heart while joyriding in your body

fucker.

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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i hate dogs with blue eyes. why is fucking jeff the killer at my back door

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Naps are a forbidden technique, I think. If you pull them off just right you'll access a pool of near-endless rejuvenating power, but if you mess up some inscrutable part of the ritual your vitality and might will be sapped and you'll be left at the mercy of your opponents

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fall out boy is so fascinating because anyone who doesnt know anything about fall out boy thinks theyre only relevant to millenials who had intense emo phases while anyone who is a huge fall out boy fan is aware of the fact that every single album they release has gotten them a wave of new young fans. and actually thats not even true because every album second album cycle the fans from the one before the last one are like what do you mean you became a fan during the last album cycle i didnt think anyone was still onboarding. and this is going to go on forever until they retire probably.

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went on the most insane grindr date of my life last night hold on

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raising my son on a strict media diet of Portal, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Mythbusters in an attempt to resurrect the extinct species Pre-Gamergate Smug Nerd Boy

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Did a brand new kind of bowling shot today

we called it the "trust the Force Luke" shot or the "through God all things are possible" shot

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GUYS THIS IS HUGE. 

THIS IS ACTUALLY REALLY HUGE. IN A VERY GOOD WAY.