veiredame - Tumblr blog

[veiredame]

My kitten (5mo) brings out the puppy in my senior beagle (13) (via)

[veiredame]

Having seen some births now i can say that dog birth is amazing cos they just slip n slide out one after the other like a little conveyor belt. And theyre so little and unformed. And then UNGULATE BIRTHS ... are amazing for the opposite reason which is that 10mins after being born they are filing their taxes. Unless they are goats, in which case they are committing tax fraud instead

[veiredame]

[veiredame]

i know all about allistic people. they really love loud sudden noises and bad textures

[veiredame]

A problem w being on tumblr is I'm completely desensitised to the urls you get on here. I'll send someone a link to a completely innocuous post I think they'll like & not until they're like 'what the fuck is this' do I notice that I've linked them to shreksbiggreencockandballs dot Tumblr dot com or smth. :/

[veiredame]

What the fuck

There is a f i s h

In my shrimp tank

I don’t keep any fish

How???? Did this happen????

[veiredame]

best way I have found to comfort people who are endlessly apologetic of things outside their control (often as a result of shitty relationships) is the jokingly hyperbolic accusation of [gasp] "so you're behind it all!"

like someone giving me directions who starts apologizing profusely when I miss a light as if it's their fault--[gasp] "it was you who petitioned city council to build this intersection in 1893!!" because it snaps them out of it and they laugh like. oh yeah. that's a ridiculous thing to blame someone for. I'm not that guy. you're not that guy. it works.

[veiredame]

Celebrities need to use their celebrity status to be harmlessly weird more often. Enya lives in a castle and talks to nobody. Lady Gaga wore a dress made of actual raw meat one time. Whatever the fuck Robert Pattinson has going on

[veiredame]

What are your pet’s favourite places?

[veiredame]

I wish rich people went back to keeping artists as pets. Like when you’re wealthy enough you pick a cool weirdo to do regular commissions for you, and if you really want to flex on your peers, you’ve got several.

 And you visit them every once in a while like “hello, I’ve paid for your rent and your tools, have you worked on that commission giant oil painting of me getting sucked off by my political opponent, who is unfortunately still the mayor of this town, like I requested?”

 And your favourite feral art person looks up - mouth full of gravel and completely surrounded by art-related trash like “no, but I designed a helicopter.”

And you’re like “that’s fucking lit, the mayor doesn’t have a helicopter. Please carry on as you have.”

[veiredame]

Saw this on FB. Soo funny!

[veiredame]

What is this? a crossover episode?

[veiredame]

[veiredame]

#in all levels except physical, this is how i ignore every single inconvenience i have ever had

[veiredame]

instead of killing characters off at random for shock value, may i propose a hip new trend: keeping characters alive at random for shock value. by all logic, this character should be dead. there’s no possible explanation for how they continue to shuffle ‘round this mortal coil. maybe we literally saw them die onscreen back in the passe era of shock value deaths. and yet, there they are. alive before our eyeballs.

[veiredame]