velmasmysterymachine-blog

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Guy on train: I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos.

Me: *turns up music*

Guy: I said I'd fuck you if you didn't have so many tattoos!

Me: *takes off headphones* Leave. Me. Alone.

Guy: Why the fuck do you have so many tattoos?

Me:

Guy: Are you fucking deaf as well as a piece of trash?

Lady by door: Hey. Leave her alone.

Guy: Are you her trash girlfriend? Fucking dykes, all tattooed like fucking men. Disgusting waste of pussy.

Lady: *moves forward, carefully moves jacket so only I can see the badge on her belt* Are you okay?

Me: Fine. Just wish he'd go away.

Lady cop: I can make that happen.

Guy: Oh, yeah, bitch? Who the fuck are you? I'll kill you!

Lady cop: And that's what I was waiting for. *grabs guy, holds him against the door* Harassing women on the train was enough, but you just threatened a cop. You're battin' a thousand tonight.

Entire train: *applauds*

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Studies show that women apologize more than men, often for perfectly reasonable acts like, you know, taking up space. 

So watch this Pantene commercial here to inspire you to stop saying sorry for no reason. 

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huckleberry on her first walk !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yaaaasss

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When you meet someone equally as weird as you

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nowadays 16 & 17 years old couples be spending the night at each others houses

not sure how y’all parents are but mine don’t play that shit

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*linda belcher voice* alright!

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I hate when I misplace my glasses because then I’m forced to walk around looking like I’m suspicious of everything in the room

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“The story about where volcanoes come from” 

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He will be the death of me

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TheDoctor/Rose + First Date

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tiny little turn ons:

   - people leaning against walls with one shoulder while they talk

   - catching somebody turning away smiling at a joke you made

   - people who linger on a hug for just a second after you let go

   - somebody glancing at your lips while you’re talking

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katy perry: i am not a feminist

shailene woodley: i love men and i think the idea of ‘raise women to power, take the man away from the power’ is never going to work out

lana del rey: feminism is just not an interesting concept

lorde: *puts down many female artists, including selena gomez, britney spears, and amy winehouse, calling what they do “not feminism”*

taylor swift: i don’t think i’m a feminist, i don’t really think about things as guys versus girls and i never have

lady gaga: i am not a feminist, i hail men and i love men

marina diamandis: everybody thinks feminism is about hairy legged women who hate men but it’s not, it’s about equality

MARINA DIAMANDIS: i consider myself a feminist because i believe women should have equal rights- it’s just that the term feminism conjures up other things for people

MARINA FUCKING DIAMANDIS: i feel completely shocked when i hear that female artists don’t want to be considered feminists… maybe i’m being a little bit harsh and maybe people think of the term in a bad way but it just means women have equal rights