venrymel

[venrymel]

During an exchange I had, many years ago … but not that many years ago, actually; someone told me of their opposition to a group of people.

Now, the explanation of opposition was, as told, a reaction to a prior explicit declaration.

The prior declaration was of direct antagonism to my conversational partner’s way of life. Indeed, the expression told to me should also affect me, for I have the same reason to be the intended target.

But what I didn’t agree with, was the assumption (or the acceptance, because my conversational partner … ) …

In this past exchange, I was told that being opposed to everyone of a certain way of life, was a valid position to take because of the earlier offending remarks.

The ultimate point is, the prejudice that someone allows themselves, when they think one person’s remarks speaks for all people of a similar demographic.

People think they know who the prejudiced people are; and that’s why they get it wrong. お違います。If I’m saying that right.

My question to my conversational partner should have been the next question, but it wasn’t. This person believed they were not being prejudiced, because they had heard a person speak the words, that a certain people’s (their own) objective was the same.

How many people of that group do you think agreed with them?

—

Believing you know how to recognize them, taking that moment to chastise them for their wrongs — you have the great potential to deliver that to someone you’ve mistaken. You’re giving your anger to someone who doesn’t share that view, but because you believe they do, you cannot hear it — you hear an excuse for what you believe is wrong, for what is bad in them.

They are forced to hear your prejudice.

And because you can’t hear it, you aren’t yet aware of the kind of prejudice you are being for them.

What is a society to do?

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I don’t care what you’re about or what you don’t like: Don’t turn anyone away. That’s how we behave differently than them.

Prejudice isn’t a people, it’s a behavior of thinking you know well enough.

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I'm gay and my glasses are dirty

reblog if you’re gay and your glasses are dirty

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How gay am I?

My safe word is: Pussy.

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4.2 billion people live inside this circle. 3.8 billion live outside it.

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This is fascinating to me. It is a culture I am not part of.

If I, on my own profile somewhere, write “women dni”, because I’m a gay man — I do not easily see gay men being angry at me for being attracted to men and wanting to signal to women, in whatever manner I choose, to not waste either of our time trying to date me.

But let’s ask a question really quick: What does DNI stand for?

Do not inquire?

Do not interact?

The first, to me, is in specific regards to romantic or sexual interest; while the second is at least initially purely social.

I could definitely see gay men rebuffing me for saying I don’t even want women around, at all. The LGBT seems very much about giving all genders and gender expression their due respect in a public setting

But if this is romantic or sexual… when did the LGBT become so bigoted about who people are attracted to?

The person above references how they would have to “out” themselves in order to be matched with a person whose attraction might align with theirs.

I have to out myself as a gay man just to get a date.

Different world, entirely.

Fascinating

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Why is Tumblr giving me notifications in the app, about (only some of the) Tumblrs I follow — and then telling me that in order to adjust those settings, I have to exit the app and adjust my device’s notifications settings…

This isn’t about my device’s notifications settings. Those are off.

Why is ONE Tumblr in my follow list generating entries on the Activity tab?

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On board with this lesson of critical thinking

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Christmas with the Addams Family by Charles Addams

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oh ok

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This argument that exists between citizens (between native residents, even) of this country, about what its different parts feel comfortable saying to one another is both fascinating and depressing

The reason this argument exists varies by the individual, so it’s very difficult to say something publicly about this argument, because all the people who have these varied reasons also seem to believe there’s only one reason for the argument; so anything you say to one of those opinions gets interpreted badly by someone who has a different view — and anything different from the person you’re talking to outnumbers

Thus, any attempt to show people their prejudice just pisses off the rest

I’ve wished to live in the past, before, for one reason or another

But hoping for a time when humanity has its shit together, teaching its young how to handle themselves within the vastness of potential perspective …

It only ever happens because we think we know who the dickhead is, but then we say it to someone who only RESEMBLES the dickhead. Life is full of disparate paths leading to similar results. Treating one like another, because we believe we understand, is the nature of prejudice.

Even when we know that possibility, we can still make the mistake

Really, it’s being able to swoop out of that mistake when we’ve made it - and the victim of the situation also accepting a mistake is a mistake and not treating it like bullying

———

I say Happy Holidays in any situation when I recognize there are multiples about. If I recognize everyone in the room specifically celebrates Christmas, I’ll say Merry Christmas. That’s also because it’s the only one of them I have spent with other people. I mean, I know of other holidays, but haven’t learned enough about them — like if I was with someone who celebrated Hanukkah, and knew I was within the few dates of its passing, I’d probably say Happy Hanukkah to them, because I’m wishing them happiness in THEIR holiday.

Sure I might want to spread the cheer and joy of the holiday i I grew up with and I might say “Merry Christmas” in place of any of theirs.

I’d have to think, if they get angry with me, it’s because in their life, they’ve had those words unpleasantly shoved in their faces. That would make anyone unhappy to encounter a thing again

But if someone says to me, something that isn’t what I celebrate, I’m not going to get upset with that random person, because I’m trying to spread joy in the holidays and being a little bitch about it doesn’t really accomplish that

So what ever holiday you celebrate during this time of year, that has the potential to bring you back together with people you look forward to seeing

Merry Christmas from this agnostic person and have some Happy Holidays

fuck, but thoughts are long in expressing, sometimes

You know what’s funny about that map, too, tho:

It shows the generic greeting for all the places where lots of cultures try to coexist - and all the places where far fewer people live, being generally angry about differences

Gnite

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For lots of years, I’ve heard conservatives say the same things about progressive ideas. To not even read/watch a thing before leaving bad reviews and downvotes.

Now I’m reading a post saying the same thing of conservative media and my answer is the same:

How can you “review” something you don’t even watch? Everyone wants to say “I know what’s in it”; but there’s no way. You’re just making assumptions based on what SOMEONE ELSE told you to do.

Make your own damn decisions, for one. For another: Don’t lie about something else just because you have an agenda

We don’t make things better for the next generations by advocated blind hatred for material we choose not to consume.

Progressives will blindly accuse me of supporting the conservative ideas they hate - and they will have failed to recognize how (above) my tune has not changed. Conservatives hated to hear me say it too

They are going to try to push increasingly conservative ideology onto everyone through entertainment media. Stories in movies & shows are going to promote the "real man" and "submissive good woman" tropes.

Push back.

Refuse to see such things.

Post bad reviews fo such things.

Refuse to give advertisers revenue for pairing with all that.

We still control one thing in this world:

WE do all the work, so WE generate all the money.

Take control of what is getting watched. Take control of what is getting funded by us watching it. Absolutely tank the ratings on things that promote authoritarianism, neoconservatism, and obedience to the oppressors.

Understand that we can still control the narratives. Not just as producers, but as consumers.

Even if you only have a little bit of money, what you do with it matters to the oligarchs. The entertainment industry is pretty powerful, and they--above all other businesses--know to the bone that they have to please us, their customers.

Trash any and all media efforts to paint neoconservative authoritarianism and toxic patriarchy as "desirable."

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I think the answers to these questions are:

None, because 1) they died and didn’t go to school, 2) they were kept out of school, because of unique health needs 3) they rode the short bus and you made fun of them and 4) their parents spanked them and they learned to keep these ideas quiet, so you had no idea they were at school with you.

What’s interesting is you’re a dumbass who thinks that because you can’t see it, it doesn’t or never existed

Now, I’ll reveal my prejudice and figure:

You’re a Christian who insists that a god that they can’t see still exists, all while being annoyed that the people your religion tells you to treat with kindness actually exist in this world.

— If you think the above post makes some kind of grand point about the problems the so named people are causing you

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Gav’s Tavern Hi, I hope you like this. It is different from what I usually do. Also it was a lot of work.

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how to tie the hoodie straps into simple chinese knots

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And now for something completely different.

This is the ADHD Teapot. I made it in a ceramics class a few years ago. I use it to explain executive dysfunction to people who haven’t come across the term before (and those who think of ADHD mostly as Hyperactive EightYear Old Boy Syndrome).

So, most people’s brains are like a regular shaped teapot with a single spout. Let’s say that your time, energy, focus etc is the liquid you have in the teapot. Your executive function is the spout, that directs the tea into the specific cup you want to fill-aka the task that you’re meant to be doing. Spills happen occasionally, but generally most of the tea goes in the right cup.

If you have executive dysfunction, you have multiple spouts going in different directions. You can try pointing one of them at your chosen cup and you will probably get some liquid in there, perhaps you will even fill it right up (finish the task). But meanwhile, tea is also pouring out of several other places and not going where you want it. If you have another container nearby, perhaps some of it will end up in there. But quite a lot of it is going to end up on the floor and accomplish nothing.

And at the end of the day you’ll have filled one or two cups ( or sometimes not even one) compared to the five or six that somebody with the same sized teapot (but only one spout) has filled, and everyone wonders why you’re so bad at getting tea poured, and why you make such a mess in the process.

One day I’d like to spend more time learning pottery and create a really technically good fucked up little adhd teapot. But that’s a long way off since i currently live in the outback and the nearest pottery workshop is some 400km away. But I figure that for now, it might be a useful or interesting metaphor to somebody even in its rough draft form.

This post is the cup I filled instead of cleaning my house btw.

[venrymel]