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You think attention is love and that’s why you suffer so deeply.

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I hate my fucking existence so hard today

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I can feel myself losing everything and I don't know if I care. I don't know how much more love and support I need to give myself. How much reassurance is needed so I can take a fucking step and then another and another. When things have slipped I have clawed for them to stay within an inch of what it fell from but I don't want to be exhausted like that anymore. I am so fed up of taking care of everything and having the whole world on my shoulders. The next time I start to lose, I'm letting it fall and break and I won't be picking the pieces up.

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I have consistently been someone who can be relied on, someone who has consciously and purposefully done as much as I can to set my loved ones up in a way I have always dreamed it would be and every step I take I feel like I am pushing myself further from that dream of peace and then I am just left here, begging the universe to take that weight off of me and I don't know how much longer I can keep doing that.

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“Hot Pod Dog”

(via)

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I did a few lines of coke and jammed out to a bunch of music loudly (because I was actually awake when the sun was up so I don't have to worry about my neighbours), had a vodka and peach iced tea mix and cleaned my house. I'm still overwhelmed by everything but I'm slowly getting there.

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[via]

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Color palette, David Fullarton

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Ben Rose, from American Showcase Vol. 3 (1980)

scan

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I love having another account for the void but I mean I'm still gonna plug my main @uneasies sooooooo <33

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