venusdevotea

[venusdevotea]

scout on ahead

I didn't feel the moment of impact when I fell, just that you were beside me on the floor.

I tried to sit up but you caught my arm, face laden with tears, you begged me not to leave you, being alone your greatest fear.

And so I cried with you, found things to be unhappy and heartbroken about,

so my face could match yours, so my words could match yours, so my heart could match yours, because you were frightened anytime you couldn't look at yourself, your pain, actualized in someone else.

Finally, I was tired of laying on the floor, my soul dirt black, my mouth so filthy, my eyes bone dry, my empathy fading to sympathy.

The moment I stood was the moment I fell silent.

I heard it-- the cry of your looming silhouette, begging me to meet with you down at the floor, but I couldn't fall for it; not anymore.

I was a different person standing up than I was laying down, It was time for me to move on, I couldn't afford to drown.

I'm glad you've reached the mountain's peak, Glad you've found your way home,

But forgive me if I choose to stay clear, no place is safe so long as you are near, the closer I get, the more I fear being subsumed into your void, your mirror held dear, fallen to pieces, shattered on the ground, no one to hear it, not even a sound, for no one cares of the mirror to which you are bound--

I am not your mirror, not your empathy toy anymore Scout on ahead, so I can learn to soar.

[venusdevotea]

found this poem in a journal and touched it up, switched some words for the original, added some to the end.

crazy to imagine what life was like only a year ago, it feels like lifetimes since then; working in a hellscape chiropractor's office... things are much better now.

hope you're alright.

1/9/24

Years later, still I dream of you.

I guess it comes with this time of year, always so proficient in resurrecting the long since dead.

I can't stop it—

The moment I stop thinking about you is the moment that I surely die.

All of my love and all of my regret, all the well-hidden fantasies forgotten.

I wish I could live in the memory of your hand in mine, the subtle warmth and promise that lies there.

I wish that any of it could be true.

Any of the wild thoughts, and escapist schemes that brought me here.

Of course you romanticize what you've lost in your ample grief, weighed down by the pound.

Water droplets that collect and collect in my palms, never empty, always bound.

The web of this memory with you woven so intricately through it; the knot never unwound.

[venusdevotea]

★ 【ひとみん】 「 その後の千尋ちゃん 」 ☆ ✔ republished w/permission ⊳ ⊳ follow me on twitter

[venusdevotea]

the little tinies…

[venusdevotea]

Worship Wednesday

Hermes Tricephalus

"Three-Headed (of Road Intersections)"

It took a little research to figure out this epithet, but I think I figured it out. Hermes received the epithet Tricephalus due to the herms ("a statue consisting of a squared stone pillar with a carved head (usually a bearded Hermes) on top; used in ancient Greece as a boundary marker or signpost (1)") that were found at crossroads. The "three-headed" part of the epithet may have come from the herms having a face for each path.

Worshipping Lord Hermes as a god of Crossroads

I don't see this talked about very often. Hardly at all, actually. So how can you worship Lord Hermes as a god of crossroads?

There's a few ways I managed to think of...

Leave offerings at crossroads. This doesn't have to be anything elaborate. A simple coin left on the ground will suffice.

If you're hiking/out in nature and come across a crossroads, you may be able to leave other offerings. For example; fruits, nuts, flowers, seeds, writing on some paper, a stone that you particularly like, and water

Invoke him as a god of crossroads when you're making a difficult decision in your life.

Crossroads are considered places where the veil is thin, so honoring those who have passed is an excellent way to worship Hermes Tricephalus. It also ties in his Chthonic side.

Crossroads traditionally held spiritual meanings of change and transition, so pray to him when you're going through a change or transition in your life.

In Conclusion...

Have you ever heard of Lord Hermes being worshipped as a god of crossroads? Do you currently worship him as such? If not, you may want to consider adding this interesting aspect of him into your practice. I've found that Lord Hermes is always there when I'm going through a major change or transition in life. Those times now makes a lot of sense.

Have you noticed any of Hermes Tricephalus' presence in your life?

[venusdevotea]

In Stillness

When I think about it, really think about it, I would say that my ideal picture with you in 2025 is this:

It's a healing scene, one that tells all but says nothing. Sitting next to you in bed or someplace cozy, not weird just comfortable. As comfortable as it could be, anyway.

Hoping to impress you, I hand you my steam deck, showing you all the pretty little toys I've downloaded, maybe talk about games we played and experienced as kids; maybe I'd download a few you'd recommend. I would tell you how much I tinkered and scoured the internet for this, the ups and downs of the SSD drive upgrade, my panic and my joy throughout an entire weekend where my 3TB Steam Deck gambit failed twice before it finally succeeded.

I'd tell you to pick a game, any, and lean lightly on your shoulder, watching you play and falling into silence. Lost in thought, so many things to say that I can't and won't say, so many other things to feel that I can't and won't feel. Not anymore, and not this time; the anxiety insurmountable, and shame like a creeping horror along my back.

So placated and distracted, I hope you stay and play, enjoying yourself and I in turn, drift off to sleep quietly, still not having pavlov'd myself out of that habit.

Asleep, where I finally feel completely and entirely safe.

Asleep, where we don't have to talk anymore of the past.

Asleep, where I can forget all the things I've said and done.

Asleep, safe in that liminal space between fiction and reality, where you are here and you are not—

Asleep, so that I don't have to know how much you've changed, how much you've seen, how much you've known without me.

Asleep, trapping you here where you cannot leave me behind but you already have.

Asleep, because despite all my pondering and wondering, I still cannot find anything to say, truly say.

Asleep, only so that I can keep dreaming, dreaming of an outcome that did not end up like this;

Asleep, if only to avoid the question if this was always the answer, always the inevitability, could I have chosen differently, done differently,

Asleep, because I already know the answer.

[venusdevotea]

[venusdevotea]

Sleep Well - Prayer to Hypnos

Hypnos Makar, Hypnos Paean, Hypnos Epidôtês,

Hypnos Blessed One, Hypnos Healer, Hypnos Bountiful,

Please grant me swift and sweet rest tonight, Cloud-Stepper. Allow my eyes to close heavily and for lovely dreams to play in my mind. Please allow for a restful night filled with rejuvenation and peace. I wish to be undisturbed, sleeping as deeply as a puppy after a day full of play. I wish for rest so healing that I awake the next morning with a smile on my face. Please, Kindly Hypnos, grant me these things.

Thank you, Fair Hypnos, for hearing my prayer. Your compassion is boundless, and your sympathy, touching. May your night be as peaceful and restful as my own. May all your dreams be sweet, and may your own Lovely Mind always find reprieve from its worries. May every day bring a smile to your Rosy Cheeks with something good always laid down at your feet.

Take care, Lord Hypnos, and may peace be with you. Praised be to the name Hypnos!

[venusdevotea]

got that yuri on the brain

[venusdevotea]

Is anyone in the mood for some doomed yuri this fine evening?

-song is exquisite tension by You’ll Never Get to Heaven

[venusdevotea]

♥ Kawaii Shop ♥

[venusdevotea]

lady of sorrows

[venusdevotea]

Embroidery Patterns // Salt Water Stitches

[venusdevotea]

old souls

[venusdevotea]

Akaroa, South Island, New Zealand

[venusdevotea]

Under the Strawberry Moon by lorepemberton

[venusdevotea]

the intimacy of being understood.