vexxed2007
vexxed2007
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13 just a lil guyst a lil guy
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vexxed2007 · 2 years ago
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I had a hard time making friends at school, to be honest, nowhere
Sure, he didn't have terrible parents, but my mother would be a bit rather rude, it was draining but it wasn't terrible, she was kind otherwise, my father was always kind to me, no matter what
A few times he yelled at me but not all the time, maybe that's why father was my favorite
But no I didn't have a bad home life, not since I had a incident with my brother. But I'm okay I guess. just school, I'm a fifteen year old student going to school at this city called Victoria, it's not exactly a big city like you imagine though
I haven't been able to make friends my whole life, actually. Since forever, because I was always viewed as different, but we are all the same somehow, aren't we?
I never told my mother, or father, or anyone  I love that my big brother touched me
Well, only once. I have three brothers and one sister, I wasn't born a boy, I have gender dysphoria, which nobody knows, not at school, either, everyone thinks I'm cisgender
I only told them my brother touched me, he is four years older than me and had been doing it for years, my other big brother, about ten years older? Also did
They only know about one, the four years older one
He was the favorite and from my view still is. I don't care that my mother loves him more, I'm dad's favorite anyway, but that's because I'm his Daughter. He doesn't know
Well, enough about home life, let's talk about school
Everyone hated me, this girl, her name is Lexi, doesn't though, maybe a little or she's just pretending to like me. She seemingly is nice to me and to be honest, it's suspicious. I don't care though, it's nice having someone to be genuinely nice for once
Sure I have my aunt who I view as another mother, but she usually is busy hanging with my oldest brother
So I don't really have a chance to talk to her, besides, I'm not that worth it
"Ale!" Lexi calls, running towards me as I exit the building. "What are you going now..that it is after school?"
"Home?" I question, waiting for my parents car, they have always been overprotective, well, not exactly. Mostly keeping me inside unless I'm with them. I have to wait until I'm seventeen to go on my own outside! Unbelievable
"Right, why are you always going home?" Lexi asks
"Parents orders." I reply
"You know," Lexi adds as I wait near behind a gate for my parents. "You have very feminine features for a boy,"
"Oh.." I mutter, my lip trembling from that comment. "Really..?"
"Yea," Lexi says. "You know, I was wondering if we could hang out?"
"Can't, my parents are going to the store once again, so I gotta watch my little brother and sister."
"Oh,"
I didn't, to be honest, I just wanted to be left alone and not talk to anyone, like almost everyday
And yes, she thinks I'm a cisgender male, the only reasons I pass for one is I deepen my voice, sure I sound like a thirteen year old but it's better then nothing. I also made myself a binder, it doesn't work that well, but it's good enough, now that I know I can pass as a guy with it
"See ya, Ale." Lexi says, walking away from me as she follows along a group of girls
I never understood her hanging out with them, to be honest, a slight kind hearted person like her doesn't deserve them, she hangs out with them all the time and I don't get it. They literally are copies of each other, and she doesn't think about it?? It's so strange
I don't care, to be honest, I'm worried about something; Our year books are releasing to the entire school, they'll know my dead name. Imagine what they'd think. Or what Lexi would think? I don't want her to leave me, she's my only friend that isn't a cousin or family member
Like imagine, I technically lie to her everyday. And then she finds out I'm not even a born man by DNA. I just hope she doesn't hate me after this. I swear, it shakes me to the core thinking of it, losing one of your only friend
Once I arrive home, I don't get a single welcome, it's not that I have a toxic family aside from my brother, as said
My aunt is busy all the time with my little siblings, my mother is sick, my father is always busy, and my cousins who I live with are spending time with each other; or just are busy, or being grounded
It's either one of them. Anyway, I walk towards the door and my brother shoots a glare at me
"What?" I question him
"haven't you had enough food, Bella?" He asks as I was about to search the fridge
"Your the one to talk." I mutter under my breath
"I heard that." He snorts
I ignore him as I walk away
I hate him
Another day at school, I hate it. We only get a hour, I mean, sure I like it, but friends are a important part of a teenagers life
And only Lexi is the closest thing to a friend to me but I doubt she actually wants to be friends, it's probably a bet
She is kind of creepy in class though, she always gazes up at me instead of working
She passed a note to me
"What's this?" I ask quietly
She ignores, I open the note; "will you go out with me?" It read
I stared at it for a moment and sighed and turned back to her, who seemed to be grinning, I hated breaking hearts.
"Lexi." I say, she looks up at me. "I'm flattered, really. But.. I'm not exactly.. interested in being in a relationship with you." I explain
"That's fine." She says, looking back down at the table.
"Everyone," a student says, sitting beside me. "Lexi got rejected!"
That was it
I pounced at the student, biting him, making blood drip from his arm, he began trying to pull my hair to get me off, but I didn't care
I continued to bite deeper and he screeched, the teacher was pulling me off, I pushed her back. I didn't care about anything anymore
"Get off me!" The student screamed, I still didn't listen, continuing to bite him. I eventually let go, then began pulling his hair out, tugging on his scalp
That's when a more stronger student pulled me off
There I was, in the car, being expelled.
"Bella," my mother says. "You need help"
"Mother?" I say.
"We're getting you help,"
"Oh."
The moment I did get therapy, and answered the questions honestly; Yes, I had a desire to hurt people, I did forever, I had a desire to harm my entire school and brother, yes I had a desire to hurt myself
I ended up in a mental hospital
I only finished within six months and then returned to school finally
Which regretted
"Hey," Lexi said. "Bella.
I stood shook, how did she know my name??
"Bella?" I question
"I saw the yearbook!" She yells
"I don't know what your talking about." I say.
She grabs my collar of my shirt. "Don't lie to me! You lied about your name, gender, to me!"
That was it, I tackled her and began once again, harming another student; Lexi, I never thought I would
She began screaming for help as I chocked her and she struggled to breath, I felt guilty, but on the other hand, I felt no regret
I loved it but hated it
Until, somebody called the cops, Lexi didn't survive, but I wasn't even sentenced to jail?
I'm a fifteen year old, it didn't make sense, but then, once again, I was sent to a mental hospital, by the time I was supposed to get ready, I could not face my parents
So I ran away
To be honest, I slept near a tree, alone for awhile
Until I found a abandoned amusement park, it was empty, like it was abandoned for years, there was a porta potty so I guess that's where I'll live
I'll say, it wasn't all bad
I hated it there within hours, there wasn't anything to eat, so, I brought in knife when I ran away
I stared down at my chest, realizing my chest was slightly big
I began slicing around, feeling slight pain, once I cut a bit deep, I decided to go another level, and cut my chest completely off
I just bled out for a little as I slit my legs, thighs, chest, arms. That's when I cut open my stomach as I sat alone in the porta potty
The pain I was going though, might as well end it. I cut my throat open and choked on my blood. My corpse was never found
Expecting a new better life, I wake up, atleast six weeks later
How was I still alive? I gagged at my dead smell and maggots crawling all over me. I decided to roam the forest, I don't know where I was gonna go, but somewhere
I flintched at a figure with no face, nothing but a tall skinny man.
He stared directly at me, and walked away, I decided to follow him and he walked into a mansion, the tall faceless man looks back at me, finally saying something.
"Just wait, kid, once you join us, you can't leave"
As he says, I hear some people running to me while he opens the door, I look around I can see five young teenagers/adults, makes you worried how they came here.
Especially the fact there was two twelve year olds here.
The main ones I spotted were someone who looked alot like Link? Just-- full black eyes. A young woman with pale skin and black hair and full black eyes, just like the lady guy, a Little girl with a pink dress, a Eyeless man with a mask and hood, a girl with a long pigtail with a bow, looking similar to the boy beside her with long black hair and white skin with burned eyelids and a slit mouth, Plus many others. they are looking at me confused, wondering why I was here with the tall man.
"I've been waiting to get this kid," the tall man says, walking away.
"Ok? But why. What do I have to do with you guys?" I ask as he walks away, leaving me already with the others.
"You don't get it yet, don't you?" A boy asks with his slit mouth and burned eyelids.
The young woman with black eyes came forward.
"It always had to end this way." She says as she got closer to me, she grabbed my arms tightly. "You'll join the proxies soon enough."
I look around and try to break her grip, it was too strong, I suddenly threw a fist at her, and tried to escape at the door
She steps back trying to gain her composure, she started walking towards me again.
"That was a good attack, but what will you do against the rest of us" she asks, She was about to grab me again.
I search my pocket and hold a knife behind me. "I can join you. But don't hurt me,"
"Good." She says, backing away, knowing I gave up.
It's not that bad here, I became a father figure of the young girl of sorts, but I don't mind.
Yes, my parents and family is searching for me, but I don't care.
I committed a single murder so far, other than Lexi, I killed my older brother.
And I have no regrets.
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