vikings-incxrrect

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: every now and then i like to do something responsible.

Hvitserk: just to confuse people.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: okay, i admit that i was wrong.

Bjorn: good.

Ivar: however-

Bjorn: no. not however. just stand in your wrongness and be wrong.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Bjorn: honestly i can’t even tell my brothers apart half the time, because i don’t go by height or hair colour.

Bjorn: I go by the amount of stress they all cause me.

Bjorn: and that makes them identical.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: I think i might be losing my voice.

Hvitserk: so you can’t scream at us anymore?

[later]

Hvitserk: turns out Ivar is even scarier when he’s silent.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: I got kicked out of the great hall today because apparently i’m a “liability” and “reckless” and “Hvitserk”.

Hvitserk: the last one is just my name but you should have heard bjorn’s tone.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: i’ll admit i’ve done a lot of things in my life that i’m not proud of.

Ivar: wait no, that’s a lie. i’m proud of all of them.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: day one of eating every plant i see!

[10 minutes later]

Hvitserk: i think i need help.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Bjorn: so what’s the plan? we just hide in here forever?

Hvitserk: not forever. just until Ivar calms down.

Bjorn: right, so we’re in here forever then.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: Hvitserk stop worrying it was just a splinter.

Hvitserk: you were IMPALED!

Ivar: it was a large splinter.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: Oh hello, Ubbe. Ivar.

Ubbe:

Ivar:

Ubbe:

Hvitserk: You may be wondering why I am taped to the ceiling.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Bjorn: Do I need to repeat myself?

Ivar: No need, I ignored you just fine the first time.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Ivar: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Aslaug: What do you have?

Ivar: A KNIFE

Aslaug: NO!

[vikings-incxrrect]

Hvitserk: Bjorn always looks so calm and composed. I wonder how he does it?

Bjorn, internally: Fuck fuck fuck fuck f

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: I'm a moderate, peaceful man.

Ubbe: Yesterday you threw a chair at Sigurd.

Ivar: That was moderate and peaceful compared to the table I was going to throw at him.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Bjorn: I told you to wait for me.

Ivar: In a shocking turn of events, I ignored you.

[vikings-incxrrect]

Ivar: I've done nothing wrong.

Ivar: Except for all the atrocities.

Ivar: Besides that, I'm innocent.