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viktorfm Ā· 4 years
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š‘¬š‘¹š‘¬š‘©š‘¼š‘ŗ - š­š”šž š©š«š¢š¦šØš«šš¢ššš„ š šØš šØšŸ šššš«š¤š§šžš¬š¬ ššš§š š¬š”ššššØš°.Ā 
ā€œI took no pride in my solitude; but I was dependent on it. The darkness of the room was like sunlight to me.ā€
plain but sharply cut, as if made of metal scrap and painted black - the darkest you've seen, depth that forgoes reality. like it'd been carved out of him - like you could reach inside of him.
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viktorfm Ā· 4 years
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lanajvmesonā€‹:
Flying out two days early with Val had proven to be one of the more chaotic decisions Lana had ever made. She wasnā€™t sure thereā€™d been an hour gone by where she wasnā€™t drunk. The whole world swam with it, rippled like a hastily dappled pool, reflected the Tuscan skies ā€“ even grass, she swore, at one point, even the beaming face of a sunflower. Her pores had started to smell like fermented grape, ash and wild strawberries ā€“ at some point, a local mustā€™ve been wafting a cigarette, probably around the time heā€™d hoisted her onto a bar top. Or maybe that was after. Before. During. She didnā€™t have a clear timeline. It was the most lucid sheā€™d been, slipping into the dusty recession of an ancient, cobbled street, prowling an antique store so dark, she half expected every pot to house a Victorian childā€™s teeth. Glitter chipped nails plucked at a lone ceramic, some haunting maiden with hair like Lanaā€™s, a heart torn straight from her chest and her hands gone bloody with it. The organ was hoisted mid air like she was presenting it to someone, showing off a trophy or inviting them to take a bite. It was instant as a doctorā€™s rubber mallet knocking against your kneecap, some deep, ingrained reflex within her, brain jolting right towards Viktor. Sheā€™d show it to Rosa, maybe. Wouldnā€™t mention the Viktor part. Bite her tongue, resist the urge to ask again. So, likeā€¦ how come he isnā€™t here? It never sounded particularly casual. Lana had never been great at that: stripping the care from her voice, dousing it with bleach. So, wandering back to the stone villa, ornament wrapped in a frail wisp of tissue paper, thatā€™s what she intended to do ā€“ intended to, at least, until a curl of smoke caught her eye from a row in the passing vineyard, even more so the hand attached to it. Strange as it was, sheā€™d memorised his fingers. Knew the way they held things. Rather than any rational question leaving her mouth, cowboy boots rooted and jaw gone slack, Lana simply gawked for a prolonged moment before omitting, in surely ear rupturing volume, a great, whopping, ā€œHUH?!ā€ @viktorfmā€‹
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Heā€™d begun to only exist in peripherals; the shadowy figure at the top of a staircase - holes lining the walls of Kincaid, peeling wallpaper like fingerprints smeared down glass. A silent mark of territory for a spirit who would not cross; heā€™d begun to only exist as a pair of eyes in the dark, the glimpse of something animalistic. A gaunt face in the background of a house party well documented; alive in some sense, but unrecognizable. Split between making his presence known and the white-hot of skin stretched tight, like outgrowing childhood clothes - like thereā€™d been too much of him, somewhere, that he desperately wanted gone. He could split at the seams if he wasnā€™t careful. Could feel it now, matter of fact - knuckles white and a cigarette clasped between two fingers; small comfort in the way it fit between his lips and the coolness it left there. He could almost ignore the tingling in his fingertips; itā€™d been there for days now, nerves constantly static shocked. Felt like a countdown - felt like his skin was stretching, and by the end of the countdown, heā€™d split - thatā€™s what it felt like. Like everything had been a warning, of sorts. Hadnā€™t known what his body had been warning him of until it was too late; until marshmallow swamped his mind until heā€™d been stuck in it like tar, until heā€™d been standing in front of a candy storeā€™s selections, suddenly, despite not coming within fifty feet of one in months - he started to avoid them, because it left a twist in his gut and it was too easy to confuse longing with nausea. Until he could feel her eyes on him, before sheā€™d even opened her mouth, because of course he could feel her there, because her presence felt known and felt like white-hot, but felt warm instead of uncomfortable, instead of seam-splitting and rotten and unlike floorboards done up and stripped bare. Viktor let out a laugh. He couldnā€™t remember the last time heā€™d laughed - only that it felt natural, suddenly, even though heā€™d been sure his muscles would forget the memory; hoarse from tar, hoarse from silence; his laugh cracked. Fizzled, after a moment. Didnā€™t know what to say after it - was pretty sure his legs had stopped working, and cigarette ash fell onto the toe of his boot, scuffed leather. He pressed hand to cheek, palms into the hollows of his face,Ā ā€œHuh?!ā€ It felt like a crow mimicking human words, Viktor making a conscious effort to widen his eyes, copy her shock - he let out another laugh. Looked like a madman, almost, in his actions - he still hadnā€™t drawn closer towards her, couldnā€™t pinpoint which fear this was because of.Ā ā€œChrist, Lana,ā€ he said after a moment - when the laughter passed again, short-lived in nature; he hadnā€™t had to raise his voice to be heard,Ā ā€œYouā€™re a real... fucking, uh - hoot, sometimes. If thatā€™s the fucking... word.ā€
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viktorfm Ā· 4 years
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(MAXENCE DANET-FAUVEL, NONBINARY) - Have you seen VIKTOR SAMUELS? VIKTOR is in HIS/THEIR SENIOR year. The VISUAL ARTS MAJOR is 24 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say HE/THEY are OBSERVANT, INGENIOUS, RETICENT and DEPENDENT. Rumors say theyā€™re a member of KINCAID. I heard from the gossip blog that THEY'RE HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH THEIR THERAPIST. (JAMES. 21. EST. THEY/THEM.)
dont. look at me. i know. anyways if it wasnt obvs i abandoned cupid (n darrow) in order 2 bring the two ocs tht he ws inspired by n ws a combination of bt. theyre better as different ppl methinks.
DEATH, HEAVY GRIEF, OVERDOSE / DRUG ADDICTION, HOSPITALIZATION, HYPERSEXUALITY, RELIGION MENTIONS TW
aesthetic.
old tvs and their static, worn tapes, horror movie screams, spilled ink, a sculptorā€™s hands, clay-stained, chicken scratch handwriting, messy notes, messy hair, scoffs and eye-rolls, bruised knuckles, sore throats, funeral homes and a crying preacher, shattered ceramics, knife fights, high ledges, vertically-striped pants, red lights, the moon shrouded in clouds, cigarette butts, graveyards and half-empty wine bottles, sitting there for hours and talking to nothing, about nothing, a god complex, gold rings adorning both hands, barbwire baseball bats, having never played baseball in your life, deep eyebags and broken mirrors, a permanent chip on oneā€™s shoulder, yearning, longing, wishing.
basics.
full name: viktor phillip samuels
nickname(s): icky vicky :/
b.o.d. - january 2nd, 1996
label(s): the black hole, the crepehanger, the impious, the opaque, the tempest, etc.
height: 6ā€²1ā€³
hometown: preaker, vermont
sexuality: pansexual uwu
pinterest
stats
favorite song:Ā disorder, joy division / itā€™s getting faster, moving faster / now itā€™s getting out of hand / on the tenth floor, down the back stairs / itā€™s a no manā€™s land / lights are flashing, cars are crashing / getting frequent now / iā€™ve got the spirit, lose the feeling / let it out somehow
background.
born to mama and papa (preacher) samuels in preaker, vermont - fifteen minutes after his twin sister, tatiana samuels. years later, rosa samuels joined the gang.
was an awkward, quiet kid growing up, he didnā€™t interact well with others and preferred being left alone to dig up worms and draw on the walls of their childhood home. the only exception was his twin, really.
as he got older he grew out of this, but instead became like ā€¦ sort of an asshole? maybe to compensate for years of childhood awkwardness. heā€™s the sort of person who will bite the hand that feeds him & developed into a full time nuisance by middle school, unlike tatiana who was much more subtle about her conniving manners.
always has been a fan of ā€˜darkerā€™ materials. grim & creepy morbid shit. probably the biggest tim burton fan, ever since he was a kid ā€¦ not a good look for a preacherā€™s son, but he never really felt ā€˜inā€™ with the rest of his family to begin with. classic black sheep syndrome.
drew disturbing pictures as a kid that probably prompted one or two or five phone calls home to assure everything was fine.
just really had a knack for art at a young age, from drawing to painting to playing with clay. itā€™s always been his thing and probably is the only thing heā€™s good at.
being twins with tatiana was hard. they were near opposite besides both being quite mean-spirited. tatiana handled being in public better, left a better image behind - but viktor had talent, more than she did. they loved each other deeply - yā€™know, those unbreakable twin bonds as cliche as it sounds - but found each other as competition for their parentsā€™ attention. a rivalry for affection.
in high school is when viktor really started to act out. it started extreme, like losing his virginity in their church and vandalism around the neighborhoods. faked being possessed in the middle of sunday service & almost had an exorcism performed on him.
his only redeemable trait was like ā€¦ just his sheer talent in the arts. was in a 3d art ap course and specialized in sculptures. he could pretty much create anything he wanted with enough dedication.
because he was the problem child, the one who deserved to be disciplined for all his antics, tatiana could sneak away and get away with whatever she wanted much easier. on the bright-side, for her, i guess.
not a very motivated person - wasnā€™t planning on going to college, much less going to yates but his parents literally wrote & sent his college application for him because they werenā€™t going to house a deadbeat but had too much heart to kick him out onto the streets. cool!
heā€™s actually pretty smart but he just doesnā€™t apply himself. has a minor in english because he didnā€™t care for an extra course-load, but heā€™s good at writing & analyzing literature. is going to use it to write and illustrate his own series of children books with a style similar to tim burtonā€™s. not for the kids, but because he likes to leave a trail of terror in whatever he does.
has been experimenting with himself since high school but college is where he really had started to crack down on himself. was out as pansexual & nonbinary by his sophomore year of college just ā€¦ not to his parents, who donā€™t really need to know.
if you asked him if he believed in twins having a psychic connection with each other - heā€™d tell you he wouldnā€™t know. it felt believable at times, but sometimes he had no idea what was going on inside of tatianaā€™as head. on the other hand - viktor had always felt oddly transparent to her, like she knew all of his moves before he did. the only person who could predict him accurately.
( tw death, grief, overdose / hospitalization beyond this point )
when tatiana disappeared, viktor knew something was up. it was a twist in his gut, pure instinct that something wasnā€™t right. and it wasnā€™t right - and when she was proclaimed missing, they couldnā€™t find her.
and when tatiana died - viktor knew. it felt wrong, something cut so severely in him he could pinpoint her death to the second. he didnā€™t know how, or why, but he knew it. knew it before anybody else had.
afterwards he went on a sort of bender. heā€™d begun to struggle with a mild drug addiction late senior year of high school / early college, but he was managing it up until this point.
his mental health had also sunk to an all-time low, when itā€™d never been great to begin with. (manic & depressive episodes. once fixated on a sculpting project for six months and then knocked it off the table and destroyed it as soon as he finished it for no apparent reason.)
tatianaā€™s body wasnā€™t found immediately, and when it was ā€¦ viktor went off the rails. ended up overdosing & being hospitalized. spent six months in & out of psychiatric care after that.
came back to yates to finish his senior year because ā€¦ for the reasons above, he hadnā€™t been able to complete it. just wants to get his credits and get out of here.
is still dealing with a lot of trauma & grief - causes him to spiral and be unpredictable in regards of his mental health. he stopped taking his medication, so. :/ some days are alright, other days are pretty bad.
personality & facts.
the human embodiment of a gremlin that was fed after midnight. a goblin, if you will. one of those cats with a narrow head and really big ears ā€¦ thatā€™s them!
a big horror & halloween enthusiast. loves the old campy horror movies & probably has an abundance of masks from different movies. dresses like a grimy millennial beetlejuice more than they should because they just ā€¦ love those black & white vertical-striped pants.
can appreciate the ~urban legends~ at yates and likes to feed into the fear that surrounds them. is probably the cause of a few ā€˜anomaliesā€™ and ā€˜paranormal sightingsā€™ because theyā€™re just ā€¦ a jerk.
fashion alternates between e-boy (they would be tiktok famous if they were 17 & didnā€™t think that a majorly minor based app was weird.), millennial beetlejuice, and goth in a crop top & sweatpants. big fan of crop tops and a big fan of sweatpants.
they can be really fucking mean? petty, aggressive, a major instigator. will literally spit in your face for little to no reason, you could just look at them the wrong way. the kind of person who will stick their gum into someone elseā€™s hair. other than that? theyā€™re like ā€¦ sort of okay. theyā€™re not always mean, just a dick about 90% of the time lmao
like okay yeah theyā€™ll call someone a stinky bitch for no reason except they feel like it and believes it. itā€™s fine, theyā€™re fine, weā€™re fine.
despite the fact that theyā€™re probably getting into a fight whenever, considers themself to be a lover and not a fighter but thatā€™a primarily because they fuck a lot. uses it as a coping mechanism, like theyā€™re this big fancy carnival show thatā€™s like ā€˜come one, come all! fuck the dead girlā€™s twin brother!ā€™ and itā€™s ā€¦ a lot. might have a problem with hypsersexuality but theyā€™re not fully aware of it.
the preacherā€™s whore son, basically :)
pansexual & nonbinary, switches between he & they pronouns often and without a pattern, but they have such a fragile grip on their identity that you could call them ā€˜dog-faced bitchā€™ and theyā€™d turn around like. sup.
vastly impulsive ā€¦ like i said, they destroy their own creations for the fun of it. spends all their money on useless shit, will cheat on someone because they feel like it & likes the thrill, screams into the night sky frequently like a cat in heat.
will also spend months creating useless shit for no reason too. spent six of them sculpting a hollowed out tree the size of them & then took a sledgehammer to it.
theyā€™re very super dramatic. would play the organ at church when nobody was looking after them and service was about to start. would just churn out these super haunting, creepy melodies like they were phantom of the opera. would do the same exact thing at home on their keyboard with the pipe organ setting whenever they got grounded until their parents took it away hbdsjfngkh
will absolutely not talk about their ā€˜time awayā€™ because itā€™s not anyoneā€™s business, not even their own younger sister. still refuses to talk about tatianaā€™s death, or their mental health, or their addiction (fallen back into it but it hasnā€™t gotten severe ā€¦ yet :/), or anything involving their own emotions.
will just change the topic abruptly, no warning. asks about the jonas brothers instead and they fucking hate the jonas brothers.
that being said theyā€™re absolutely not over tatianaā€™s death & itā€™s to the point of obsession over it. like thereā€™s some kind of secret that needs to be uncovered, even though there just. isnā€™t. tatiana was their rock and they were pretty much dependent on her. kept them grounded. could control them when nobody else could, got into their head easier than others. itā€™s sort of like rosa lost two siblings that day because viktor hasnā€™t been the same since.
emotionally unavailable while also crying twice a day. cries during their brawls but still wins. is stony-faced when they tell you they cheated on you with your much hotter best friend.
will tell you straight up what they want from you, no bullshit & no beating around the bush. just blunt. if they want to fuck, nothing else, then thatā€™s it. if they feel deviation or developing feelings then theyā€™ll ghost in less than a second. is awful like that but feels no shame.
but also emotional as shit and itā€™s confusing. will cry on a whim and then flip you off if you try to console them or ask them whatā€™s up. will bite you.
they go to therapy but they just fuck around and wastes their therapistsā€™ time ā€¦ also is fucking their therapist, but thatā€™s neither here nor there. so theyā€™re not really getting the help they need.
likes to be intimidating but not ā€¦ with their body or anything because theyā€™re a twig but uses their love & knowledge of horror and creepy shit to their advantage. has an abundance of fake blood. has channeled the energy of jack nicholson and used it on tatianaā€™s boyfriends before (also is a big fan of sfx makeup & has dabbled in it)
probably chases kids around with a chainsaw without the chain on halloween every year.
generally never doing good, both mental health wise & morally. would probably steal candy from a baby for funsies.
i donā€™t know if thereā€™s a good to them somewhere deep down, but they donā€™t see any issues with themself either. nothing really breaks through to them anymore because the only person who ever made them stop and think about their actions was tatiana, and well, yā€™know. :/
an introverted reclusive type who doesnā€™t like most people or going out, but does so anyway if it means a quick high & a cheap thrill.
pretty observant and likes to analyze people even though theyā€™re often like ā€¦ partially wrong. judgmental because they like to make people feel bad, not because theyā€™re a righteous mighty person. because theyā€™re not. so like, a hypocrite!
wanted connections.
religious trauma? oh worm ;; three cheers fr <3 guilt <3 anyways uh. just people tht viktor hs known thru the church in some way even tho hes a fkn. freak now. maybe even family friends.Ā 
the horror of our love :/ ;; hmm. any romance tht cld b toxic i think this cld fit. just rly a bad fit. viktor doesnt rly know hw to love so nothing rly lasts bt. maybe they try n try n nothing works bt they keep trying. cld also just be anything unrequited.
little fkn gremlins ;; theyre all evil n mean. bt theyre all friends. <3Ā 
you are nothing ;; uuh. enemy plots. spicy enemies. rly bad enemies. rivals. they r brutal towards each other bcos nothing viktor does is ever soft.
fuck u dont pity me ;; uh. people who try to get close to viktor n he just. bites at them. heā€™s like no. bc he assumes ppl who r kind in response 2 his vileness r. theres smth wrong w them. n it might hv to do with pity. n he hates pity.
ugh. locals x ;; ppl who also grew up around preaker, vermont. the samuels r <3 well known folks n the uh. hm. the murder is an ongoing case. so they cld know abt it <3
dont tell anybody x ;; this is for soft plots. i dont know much about soft plots but.Ā 
maybe i am part of the problem ;; the problem is chlamydiagate. this is a hook-ups connection. fwbs n one night stands. ppl viktor hs brutally ghosted. he doesnt acknowledge their existence outside of these events, perhaps.Ā 
dont u just wna go apeshit ;; this is where viktor becomes a bad influence.
bt uh. anything. pelase
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viktorfm Ā· 4 years
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La Piscine (1969) dir. Jacques Deray
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Anne Carson, from Red Doc>
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viktorfm Ā· 4 years
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ā€œā€œI feel like God; alone.ā€
ā€” Dan Baucom (via viperslang)
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