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Findings

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this took me way too long to comprehend

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OOHHH FUUBLBLBLBLB

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It’s a marathon

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INSTRUCTIONS ON NOT GIVING UP

ada limón / princess mononoke (1997) / mary oliver / gang of youths / albert camus / the two towers (2002)

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Imagine if people applied the “outdoor cat” logic to dogs too. We’d have a bunch of dogs running outside freely, collecting parasites and diseases, getting hit by cars, harassing/killing any smaller animals and breeding like crazy. And when you told someone that they probably shouldn’t let their dog outside without a leash because it’s not exactly safe, they’d just be like “oh well you know he’s happier that way and all that stuff is just a normal part of a dog’s life lol what can ya do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯”.

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Have all your players doing different missions but think they are all doing the same one.

When questioned insist you gave them all the same mission but don’t clarify which mission that was.

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I am a proud anti-vaccine Father of 3.

Edit- Two Now 

2nd Edit- One Now 

3rd Edit- Nevermind

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Word is Hollywood executives are mad about Elliot Page transitioning from a woman to a man…

Now they’ll have to pay him 20% more…

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Air Force One crashed on a farm in Nebraska

Panic stricken, the local sheriff mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hull left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

The sheriff and his men entered the smoking mess but did not find the remains of anyone, including the President. They spotted a lone farmer ploughing a field not too far away as if nothing at all happened. They hurried over to the man’s tractor.

“Hank,” the sheriff yelled, panting and out of breath. “Did you see this terrible accident happen?”

“Yup. Sure did,” the farmer said, cutting off his motor.

“Do you realize that is the airplane of the President of the United States?”

“Yup.”

“Were there any survivors?”

“Nope. They’s all kilt straight out. I done buried them all myself. Took me most of the morning.”

“Oh my god. President Trump is dead?”

“Well,” the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. “He kept a-saying he wasn’t… but you know what a liar he is!”

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I tried to warn my son about the dangers of Russian roulette…

It went in one ear and out the other.

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why are moms so afraid of Doom turning their kids into devil-worshippers. like, Doom has a pretty strong anti-demon message to it

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