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The existence of dildos is crazy like the way you can come home from work and just start fucking yourself in the ass

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me being so normal when there’s only vague plans to hang out for the day and nobody is texting back with specific times or what we’re doing

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you fucking with fat bitches?

Since day 1 you stupid son of a bitch

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I did 20 popular tumblr users' "Top 100/150 Movies" listicles and compiled the top 101 that reoccur frequently <3

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candy before beer youre in the clear. beer before candy hurricane sandy

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youare all just jealous of my severed head

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this makes me so sad. its supposed to be smoked but its just sitting in a police station like. like a caged brid. a sea wourld whale. they are putting it out for a show but it doesnt get treated how it deservees

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if you're in your 20s just remember that you're in your 20s and being in your 20s is like being anywhere between 20-29

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Being a little too cold: brrrr i’m a little too cold !!!

Being a little too warm: i am going to kill the next person who makes eye contact with me.

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Gays: *too shy to say high*

Also gays: here’s my bootyhole tho

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when a joke takes a while to hit call that a jestational period

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you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

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one lucky follower has been selected to be dissected and reconstructed

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A discord server called bar where strangers who drink alone in their room can go to socialize & there's channels such as "bar fighting' & 'smoking a cigarette outside' etc.

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been losing my shit over this gif for like 5 minutes now

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I think more people should just be ok with being single

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