visual---language

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10 final images

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My visual language set up/wall display

I do think my space looks busy, but i have experimented alot with this breif and wanted to show case the process ive been going through.

I dint get to print on a large scale which was what i was hoping would be possible, but over all i am happy with the progress i have made.

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Revisiting using photo paper to create sculptural forms.

These maquettes are smaller than i would have liked but it was fun to experiment with diffrent compositions, creating sort of modular structure that can shelter to some exstent.

I think i would prefer if they were singular large shapes, more tent like and hid the occupants more. I feel the gaps have spectatorial quality and i want for the structure to fwel more private and indevidual.

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LIVING IN A DREAM- Laura Weinstein

So not to be bias in my experiences i wanted to get another take from some one who had experienced disassociative behaviors.

Laura weinstein is a student journalist who has suffered from depersonalization disorder for the last 11 years. She speakes of her own experiences as well as giving generalised information on the symptoms and experiences of most sufferers.

50% of the population will experience the feeling associated with depersonalization disorder but only 2% have to live with it chronically.

"i had transended myself" - Weinstein

She talks of being a spectator of reality whilst being also an observer of herself. How her senses felt deffoned, sharing symptoms with panic attacks, seperation disorders are cause by trauma and the disassociation is a respomse to that.

It contributes to breakdowns in memory, awareness, identity and perceptions. Sufferes often feel they are living in a dream or movie where they are aware something is wrong. Having intrusive thoughts about reality and existance, disassociating is a defense mechanism to seperate a traumatic reality from the person experiencing it.

She speaks of similar experience to myself and simplifys the symptoms in a understandable way.

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I got very interested in screen print and its possibilities.

I loved the process of this medium and the effects i was able to get. I was able to take an image and manipulate it to disform my looks.

I felt this was an easy way to make a solid image of how it feels to disassociate. Createing an image that depicts the multiple people i feel i can be and the many sides and faces of disassociation.

I enjoyed the process of trying to create a more distorted image by layering on blurry back grounds and overlaying with cjain images.

I choose the purple as i feel it is a running theme in my body of work. Ive just been drawen to the colour when creating and unknowingly must associate it with myself.

The chains represent the way i feel held down by the disorder but could also be read as keeping something behind bars in a way, almost to keep the audience safe. This is how i often feel daily trying not to let the mask slip.

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Tester- origami structures made from diffrent thicknesses of paper.

I wanted to test if screen printing ontop of the folded origami would work and i was curious to see what happened when unfolded.

I printed a chain design across the butterflies to represent the story behind the origami butterfly shape, the souls of children being held within and with ties to holding hopes and dreams of ypung women. The chain isnt to represent them being trapped but to perhaps represent a sense of protection and keeping others out.

When unfolded the chain was broke and spred across the diffrent folds. This was interesting visually and representative of the connection to the breif, stranger, and opening up about my experences. It transforms from the chain keeping others out to allowing rhe viewer inside in a visual way.

I like how when unfolded it allows for a tent like shape to be formed, creating a open space underneath. Making the work an interactive space for viewers if on a larger scale. Representing a place of refuge for my younger self.

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Origami made from pictures that in the process of developing never turned out.

These hold the same meaning as the ones made from junk mail, in the sense that they would often just be throwen out. This time they hold another meaning though as the spots of colour relate to how i see myself when disassociating. I often feel floaty and/or orb like when not feeling whithin myself.

The photo paper made for a great structure, the sturdyness of the material when unfolded created free standing forms.These felt like shelters, a place of refuge, somewhere for my younger self to hide from the traumas she has endured.

The reflective nature of the images would allow for a viewer to see themselves, almost as tho out of body, distorted by the folds in the paper and the darkness of the material.

Going forward i want to create larger scale peices that would allow a viewer to enter under the space and hide.

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Oragami made for junk mail.

I focused on 3 types of oragami, the crain, the dragon and the butterfly.

I focused on these animals because the crane symbolises good fortune, and due to the subject matter and reliving childhood trauma, i wanted to create something that would bring good fortune for life experiences in the future.

The dragon symbolises wisdom and balance, reliving these experiences from childhood i feel i have growen and have gained wisdom and knowledge from these experiences. I have learned to live with the trauma and balance it with everyday life.

The butterfly has been knowen to symbolise the hopes and dreams of young women as they grow, aswell as holding the souls of departed children.

This i felt connected with me the most as alot of my trauma stems from childhood. Symbolosing the hopes and dreams that my younger self never got to achive, due to circumstances or otherwise. The idea that each one holds a bit of the soul of my younger self, trapped and frozen in time.

They are made from junk mail to represent the feeling of being disregarded or tossed to one side. This is often how i treat myself thinking about my traumas or how others treat me.

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Exploring the breif of stranger..

Exploring the concept of being a stranger in my own body. I often tend to avoid mirrors or looking at my face, when i disconnect and disassociate from my body i can feel as though im floating away. Like an outer body experience, here i have tried to create a digital collage that depicts my feelings of disconnect.

The layer of photograph and realism mixed with the digital drawing ontop convays the diffrence between the real and the not real.

I know that i am where i am and who i am in the photograph, the digital drawing explores the feelings in the inside on the out side. The sensation of feeling disconnected and representing that in these cartoonish orbs, floating away.

It shows the disconnect between reality and what my feeling show me.

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Workshop on projection

Consists of layered film images in slides, slides with added mark makeing and found objects.

Layered found slides

Exploring themes of self and afterlife.

Layering the images gave depth and dimension to the slide creating more of a scene or narritive.

Trying to evoke the sense of stranger through compossition of image and subject. Mixing the old with the new as tho strangers in the wrong time, raising questions of a higher power and transcendence or anguish.

Added marks

Creating marks on transparant material with posca, scratching, writing and blotting the paint to create texture.

Again exploring themes of stranger trying to show the workings of my own thoughts, being a stranger in my body.

Often feeling detached from my physical form, feeling like an entity just existing, ive tried in these slides to represent my thoughts and feeling through marks. Layering them with film of trees and nature, the trees representing my body rooted to the earth, the marks representing my soul in a way bleeding and floating into space.

Found objects

Playing around with transparency of found objects in this case a helicopter seed. It had a real nice natural transparency, revealing the vains of the plant, making it almost human, like skin.

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You are not of this place and have complete control over how you thibk is best to comunicate.

As the language could be anything including visual we thought it would be a play on words, to create a language using your eyes. Its made from the visuals and up of visuals.

The video starts slow and expands becoming faster paced and more chaotic, in my head i was imagining telling an elaborate story with twists and turn, where it keeps reveling more and more.

The eyes movments reflect the pace and flow of speech.

To stick to the idea of flow i did some line drawings, tracing the eyes movments, without looking at the paper. Creating a more automatic response to the video and giving a visual representation of the conversation. Perhaps how a letter would be wrote in this language or at leadt somesort of record.

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Responding to a news artical.

The headline made me think about, obesity, power, control of the church, media culture.

I simply started to draw newspaper type cartoon/charactors in response to these thoughts.

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Exploring diffrent uses for an object as if ive never seen it before

This post also explores the sound of the object and its aerodynamics as a weapon.

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You do not know what anything does, you may draw your conclusions from your observations, they may be right or wrong.

My object was a screwdriver bit holder and drill bits.

I tried to use them as utensils to write with.

Scraping into the paper didnt work as the paper just tore and nothing was legible. I then dipped the drill bit in paint and tried, this worked much better.

I didnt think about what i was writing, i wrote hello and my name as if telling someone else. It does however go with the feeling of being alone, that i was trying to capture in the previous images, like im trying to reach out to some one.

I then explore other potential uses for the object. Such as false teeth and a door stop.

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You are a stranger just arrived in a new place.

I have recorded my souroundings using photography and video.

Reflections of myself recording my physical being there and perhaps my not meaning to be there aswell. Am i trapped? Can others see me? Is there a way out?

These were all questions running through my head, i made a consious effort to respond to what i was seeing and not focusing on others around me.

Collecting images exploring the questions above and my feeling surrounding being somewhere new.

AM I TRAPPED?

A reflection of yourself is somewhat always trapped in the material opposite you, as it is not as we see ourselfs in real life or how others perceive us, it is a image that like a shadow is always there but can only be seen in the right setting.

CAN ANYONE SEE ME?

When exploring i saw many objects with human names, such as a pillar named 'rachel' and a trolly named after barry white. I started to think if others existed or if these objects were the new people so to say. I then thought who must have named them?

Where there once people?

I found human heads on spikes, bagged. Did the objects get revenge, did they do this? If not them who? What? Did.

IS THERE A WAY OUT?

No one is around. It would be lonley, empty, cold. I would miss people and crave help in a situation like this. I would feel trapped unable to focus, thing wouldnt make sense. Ive tried to show this in these images by showing my attempts and comunication and collecting images of empty space.

The fridge image shows a singular cup (me) in a strange place for a warm beverage (a fridge). It begs the question who put it there? Why is ot there? All questions i was asking myself during this task

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Some index images from real life. Marks made by time, objects and animals.

I like that the marks made by a repetitive activity or action can act as tally marks almost, capturing a period of time aswell as somethimes the particular action.