vividsprinter

[vividsprinter]

Hi! I wanted to tell you your ao3 dandelion is amazing! I also wondered if you where ok! So i came here to ask how you where doing! <3

Hey!

Thank you so much for taking the time to ask, that's really sweet of you <3

I'm doing well thank you, hope you are too :)

Thank you for your words of encouragement, they really do make all the difference x

[vividsprinter]

A Very Long Engagement: Cloud Strife x Reader

...unless you’re Cloud. In which case you definitely get paid enough to care.

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Warnings: Angst, injury, cursing, trauma.

Cloud burst into Seventh Heaven like a man possessed, surrounded by his friends in the Avalanche group. They were all in a panic, but none so more than Cloud – he was hysterical. He held the limp body of his fiancé close to his body, tears streaming down his face as he willed you to stay alive.

Please. I can’t bear to lose anyone else.

I couldn’t survive it.

Desperation took over his legs as he charged up the stairs behind the bar, gingerly laying you down on the bed in the first available room.

“No no no!” He choked out, frantically trying to stop the bleeding in your abdomen and legs with whatever sheets and quilts were nearby.

“Cloud,” Tifa said, a hint of urgency in her voice. She placed a hand on his shoulder as he sobbed over your semi-conscious form, trying to pull him away from you so she could begin assessing the damage.

You had been on a run-of-the-mill mission for Avalanche, but the group had been split up and you had ended up being jumped by a group of hounds in the Shinra complex. Normally, you had no problem taking care of yourself, but they had caught you by surprise, and you had paid for it big time. Even in your half-asleep state, you could still hear Cloud’s anguished cry as they sunk their teeth into your flesh.

“Cloud.” Tifa repeated, more sternly this time, “Let me work.”

“Y/N… Y/N Please… Please don’t leave me,” he murmured to you quietly, not paying attention to anything else that was going on. He was shaking like a leaf, and he felt a tightness in his chest as he struggled to get air in.

“Cloud! Get out of the fucking way before she bleeds to death!!” Barret shouted, horrified that Cloud had allowed himself to become so distraught that all his common sense had gone out the window. You needed medical attention – and fast.

Finally, Cloud turned to face the group, his pained eyes looking utterly lost and helpless. All he could manage in response was a nod, shuffling towards the head end of the bed and kneeling down on the floorboards beside you. He took your hand and held it tightly, kissing it just below where your engagement ring was sitting. It was a beautiful turquoise-blue stone set in silver, with filigree patterns engraved on the band, and you loved it because the gem reminded you of Cloud’s mako-infused eyes.

With his other hand, Cloud gently brushed your hair away from your clammy face as he looked down at Tifa, who was grimacing as she assessed your wounds. Cloud’s stomach dropped as he bit his lip and dropped his head, fearing the worst.

At that moment, you let out a weak cough and opened your E/C eyes, gazing over to Cloud.

“Y/N!” he exclaimed, placing a palm to the side of your face gently.

“Stay with me. Stay with me. You’re back at the bar. We’re gonna fix you up,” he said softly.

“Cloud, she’s haemorrhaging. We need to stop the bleeding and stitch her up, ASAP,” Tifa said quietly to him. She didn’t want you to overhear and panic.

“Where’s the healing materia?” he snapped at her under his breath.

“We don’t… We don’t have any,” she replied sadly. Cloud looked to the rest of the group desperately, his eyes pleading with each and every of them. They all hung their heads.

“I’m sorry, Cloud,” Barret said, looking to the floor whilst Aerith let out a sob, grabbing onto Biggs.

“Just save her… Please.” Cloud begged, turning back to you with worry consuming his features.

There was a small commotion in the background as the team leaped into action, with some mutterings about fire materia, bandages and antiseptic. Cloud, desperate to keep you conscious, continued whispering sweet nothings to you as he came apart at the seams. He had already lost so many and seen too much death for one human to bear. It would be his undoing if he lost you too.

“Hey… Look at me,” he cooed, caressing your hair lovingly, “I love you… I love you…You’re gonna be Ok.”

“Barret, take her legs. Cloud you take the top half, and you keep her still - do you hear me?” Tifa instructed, her voice cracking slightly.

“Wait. What’s going on? What’re you doing?!” Cloud asked feverishly, eyeing Tifa as she opened a bottle of antiseptic. She poured a copious amount onto some clean fabric.

“Hold her, Cloud. This is going to hurt.”

He looked down to the end of the bed to see Barret begrudgingly holding your shins down. Barret couldn’t bring himself look back at Cloud, and eventually closed his eyes, trying to imagine he was anywhere else as the impending dread began to set in.

Tifa nodded at Cloud as she hovered the drenched material over one of your wounds, as if warning him to brace himself. In one swift move, she pressed it against you, and held it there.

You flinched as the liquid touched your open skin, weeping as much as your weak body would allow you to in this state. You tried to move away from the stinging sensation being inflicted on you, but you could not escape – you were being held down.

You looked to Cloud for respite and tried with little success to pull his arm off you. By looking into his beautiful ocean-like eyes, you could tell his heart was breaking. As Tifa cleaned the rest of your wounds, your body gradually became desensitised to the burning of the antiseptic, and all you could do was whimper quietly as the tears left your eyes.

“Biggs, the knife,” Tifa said.

“Knife?!” Cloud asked in horror. His eyes widened in alarm as Biggs brought over a knife that had been heated to an extremely high temperature with one of the only materia they did have – fire.

Realising what was coming next, Cloud shut his eyes for a moment and clenched his jaw, a fresh tear escaping. He held your hand even more tightly and looked at you guiltily, a lump forming in his throat.

“Cloud?” you croaked out, starting to worry about what was coming next.

“I’m so sorry. I’m here… I’m sorry…” he repeated over and over, as he placed his forehead against yours, holding you by the shoulder forcefully with his other hand.

Your eyes looked at him questioningly, terrified.

“Here goes,” Tifa said, gulping, lowering the scorching blade to your bleeding flesh.

This time, your body was most definitely not desensitised, and Cloud was not prepared for the sound that came out of your mouth.

It was brutal.

You screamed and screamed like a wounded animal, writhing against your human restraints. The sound you made was one of anguish, pain, and suffering. It was excruciating for him to listen to.

“Jesus Christ, will someone get her some fucking anaesthetic?!” Cloud yelled angrily at the entire room, still hysterical.

“We don’t have any!! Don’t you think we would have given it to her if we did?!” Tifa screamed back at him, almost starting to cry herself.

Cloud closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, slowly bringing his forehead back down to rest against yours. He dare not speak, for he was worried that if he did, he too might let out cries of anguish. How could he do that when he was not injured, and you were suffering so much? You felt his wet tears drip into your hair as he cried.

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry,” he kept saying to you, as if he thought it would help somehow.

Whilst Tifa continued cauterising each wound, you became more and more distressed, unable to take much more of the pain. It was endless, and the burning sensation lingered deep in your bones, even after the blade had been taken away. Honestly, you wanted to give up. Your body was giving out. You felt as though you were being tortured, and you wanted it to stop.

“Please. Please… just let me die!” You choked out in between screams, looking at Cloud pleadingly.

Cloud opened his eyes, torment apparent on his face. He looked down to Barret, who was still holding your legs, for support and assurance. Barret’s head was hung in shame, and he was flinching each time the blistering knife touched your skin.

Shaking, Cloud looked back at you. Visions of his mother and his friend Zack plagued him as he saw you barely cling to life.

“No… I can’t Y/N. I won’t. Please… Don’t leave me. Please,” he said, feeling selfish that he was asking you to continue suffering on his behalf.

But he couldn’t just let you die.

“Tifa – how much longer?!” he asked frantically, not taking his eyes off you.

“Just one more!”

“Y/N. I’m here. I’m so sorry. I need you to be brave for me, this is the last one. I promise,” he said, willing you to carry on.

Cloud tightened his grip on your shoulder, and you knew what was coming next. You shook your head at him desperately, begging him to make it stop, but it was too late.

You screamed again, gripping Cloud’s hand as though your life depended on it. He winced as the smell of burning flesh swept around the room once more, praying to himself that you would make it and that this endless agony wouldn’t end up being your final moments. He’d never forgive himself if they were.

“Ok, Aerith – needle and thread please,” Tifa finally called out, slight relief evident in her voice that the worst was now over.

Cloud exhaled, glad that he no longer had to watch you endure so much pain whilst he was unable to do a thing to help. As your wounds were sewn up expertly by Aerith, Tifa slumped against the wall, completely drained. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hands were shaking. Lying limply on the bed, you fell in and out of consciousness as Aerith worked her magic.

Once Aerith had finished closing your wounds, she started placing dressings over them to keep them clean. Tifa had originally offered to do this, but she was way too shaken up to help at this point.

“Ok, thanks everyone. I think Cloud and I can take it from here. You guys get some rest,” Aerith suggested as she worked, glancing over at Cloud who, in short, was an absolute state.

At first, nobody moved, too stunned from what had just transpired to manoeuvre even one muscle. Tifa was the worst out of everyone, zoning out as she stared blankly ahead.

Eventually, Biggs helped Tifa to her feet and essentially carried her out of the room, whilst Barret stood up and said sombrely to nobody in particular:

“Never ask me to do that again.”

He then wiped his brow and also left the room.

“Cloud, you Ok?” Aerith asked softly after several moments of silence. She was working on your final dressing now, and she knew the whole group were worried about him. They knew he had deep-rooted abandonment issues, and they also knew how incredibly attached he was to you. If he wasn’t so utterly loving, it would be considered unhealthy.

“Just tell me she’s going to be OK,” Cloud replied, his voice wavering slightly as he kept his eyes glued to your face. He still had not let go of your hand.

“We’ve given her the best possible chance,” Aerith said, never capable of telling a lie.

Cloud sniffled slightly, wiping his eyes with his free hand. Once she had finished packing away the sewing kit, Aerith walked over to Cloud and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

“Have faith. Your girl’s a fighter, remember?” She offered, smiling at him. He only gave a small nod in response, still not taking his eyes off you.

The moment Aerith left the room, Cloud brought a gloved hand up to his eyes. He couldn’t hold it in anymore and completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

He didn’t leave your side for hours and hours. When you eventually came to again, he was right there. His face was pale, and his hair was tousled; his eyes red and sore from all the tears that had escaped him that evening. Cloud still trembled slightly – it was such a small amount that it was barely visible to the naked eye, but you could feel it against your skin.

You slowly raised a hand to his cheek, concern taking over your face. He looked absolutely terrible as he studied you intently, a huge burden clearly on his mind. For a split second, all you saw was him, but then your nervous system kicked back in.

“Cloud, my insides are burning!! Help! Help!”

You started to panic. You felt like you were on fire – it was excruciating.

“Y/N… We… We had to cauterise your wounds. We have no anaesthetic – we’ve looked everywhere. I’m so sorry.”

“Then knock me out – please. I beg you!”

“Are you crazy?! Like hell am I giving you a head injury on top of everything else!”

You started to weep again, unable to comprehend the pain that you were in. Every second felt like an hour.

Cloud felt so helpless. He felt so… useless.

“Fuck this,” he said, getting to his feet for the first time since you had been brought into the room.

“Cloud? Where are you going?”

“I love you too much to watch you suffer like this. I’m going to find something to help you, and I will be back the second I find it.”

He stepped out of the room, and you heard his footsteps fade as he jogged down the steps to the bar.

“Cloud?!” Tifa exclaimed in surprise, as he stepped behind the bar without invitation, grabbing two bottles of the strongest spirits he could find.

“What the hell are you doing?!” she asked him accusingly as he tried to walk off with the stolen alcohol.

“I can’t watch her suffer anymore, Tifa. It’s killing me. This is the only thing I can think of to help her with the pain.”

“So, you’re going to get her drunk? Have you lost your mind Cloud Strife?!” Tifa scolded in disbelief.

“I can’t just sit there and do nothing!!” He retorted, raising his voice slightly.

“You can’t give her booze, fool. It could thin her blood. Shit, don’t they teach you anything in soldier school?” Barret chimed in from behind, removing both bottles from Cloud’s grasp and placing them back behind the bar.

“Cloud, Aerith has gone home to look for any materia she may have left behind.  I understand it’s hard for you to watch Y/N in so much pain. Believe me, I know. But it will only be a little longer, Ok?” she said, trying to reason with him.

Cloud remembered the look on Tifa’s face earlier whilst she was cauterising your wounds. He realised in that moment that she probably understood better than most what he was going through.

“All right,” he said tiredly, before dragging his weary legs back up the stairs.

He ran straight to your side again once he opened the door, seeing that you were still in enormous amounts of pain. Cloud kissed your head tenderly to try and comfort you, but you struggled to keep still. Everything hurt, and it went on like this for hours. Your only respite came when the door opened once more to reveal Aerith carrying a glowing green orb of materia. She was pink in the face and looked like she had been running around all afternoon. It transpired that not only had she raced home and managed to find some sleep materia, but she had also spent all afternoon trying to trade it for some healing materia. Nowhere would agree to this trade, citing that healing materia was ‘like gold dust’, so she would have to make do with what she had. Eyeing you worriedly, she used the materia to knock you out, and then looked over to Cloud.

“I don’t like the look of this. She’s got a fever,” she said to him as she felt your forehead.

“Cloud, run some cloths under the tap and bring them over, would you? We need to get her temperature down.”

He nodded and ran to the bathroom, doing as she asked. He vowed at that moment that he would do anything to make sure you survive this, and he was never, ever going to let this happen to you again.

Continue reading @ AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32962063

Ask box is open!  Am giving Tumblr a whirl to motivate myself to stay creative and write some shorter pieces :)