voidedramblings - Tumblr blog

[voidedramblings]

it feels like the earth is calling me at every whim

the wind blowing across my skin,

soft, then rough, then light and gone again

whispering for me to go along with it then

as i break up the dirt with my fingers, sowing a new seed

the dirt swarms around my fingertips telling me i’d be just what it’d need

and each batch of rainclouds that move in with a storm drip across my skin

telling me id be better off downstream with the ocean, not quite ready to begin again

and maybe it’s why the stars every night, no matter how bright they’ve shown

keep whispering and then yelling at me, ‘it’s time to come home’

[voidedramblings]

i’ve been wilted

too many times

and crushed

by so many

but i’ll fight

and grow

and bloom

slowly

but eventually

— 23 december, 2018 // tans

[voidedramblings]

the sun will rise again

but so will the moon fall

the tidings waters hit against soft skin

no time to breathe before your call

[voidedramblings]

it’s a bitter feeling that crawls up the throat

scratching and clawing through as a sour note

the taste of ash, cinders, and smoke

this feeling never disappears the way i hope

[voidedramblings]

half a cup (& no love)

if a full cup is the goal, mine was filled halfway, unfinished and unloved, and left to waste away.

it's easier to blame the metaphysical than rest responsible for the flaws so deeply encroached in a being so volatile.

as i look back upon every "hi" i remember just why: i'm too much, yet, concurrently, not enough to satisfy.

[voidedramblings]

burning, melting heart. a supernova in miniature. a universe in reverse.

[voidedramblings]

you’ll find the stars etched along my heart

permanent scars from space’s remarks

the signs of home flowing under my skin

the remnants of stardust drawing me in

[voidedramblings]

day after day, it feels like the pain settles in

from these thorns and needles beneath my skin

a dull ache, a sharp stab, both lingering pains

but quiet i’ll stay ‘cause your thoughts won’t change

[voidedramblings]

never thought that i could be so hungry for something,

but nothing else ever satisfies the greed in the belly of the monster.

[voidedramblings]

your chest was hollow.  it ached in place of your missing heart

your hands couldn’t follow.  your thoughts were lost in the dark

[voidedramblings]

the first fallen leaves at the end of summer. soon the warmth will fade. where will you be?

[voidedramblings]

rounded edges and softened lines, i like it when the world seems fine when clouds open and rain pours my blurred vision hides all flaws

[voidedramblings]

The Wild Signs:

Aries: The sun filters through the leaves, yet it only seems to obscure the path ahead. You feel as if you shouldn’t be here.

Taurus: A valley covered in shade. The area is famous for the cave systems that run deep beneath. The plants that grow here are a pasty white, their roots spill from the caves.

Gemini: The overgrown remnants of a highway. Rusted cars sit overflowing with reeds. There isn’t another road for miles. The cars all seem to be postwar models.

Cancer: Rivers and earthquakes tore the land in two. The forest didnt mind, it simply started growing sideways, sinking its roots into the cliffside. 

Leo: The sun is setting. As the full moon rises over the pines you can hear something over the crackle of the fire. Its the distinctive horns of Curtis Mayfield’s Move On Up. You are never seen again.

Virgo: The mountain village buried by an avalanche. The only thing visible are the tin smokestacks of buried homes. Sometimes you can still see smoke billowing from them.

Libra: A dusty plateau covered in dry birch trees. Your shoes scuff some dust from the ground to reveal a large linoleum tile. 

Scorpio: Every once in a while people out in the borderlands come across strange trees. The bottom half resembles a knotted oak but as the tree grows it seems to form the shape of an animal clawing at the sky. No two are ever reported alike.

Ophiuchus: The trees here are covered in holes. When the wind blows just right you can hear the whole valley sing. 

Sagittarius: The territory is marked off by brass stakes in the ground. Lightning strikes them when its stormy.

Capricorn: There used to be a church here. The old graveyard still stands. The lost and unclaimed always find a home here. This is a kind place.

Aquarius: You make camp for the night at the edge of a small pond. No fish are biting. Your foot runs across a sharp stone on the bottom. As you tend to the small cut you look into the water. Teeth.

Pisces: The field where you saw the black hare. It was the dead of winter. The fields had frozen over. It moved like smoke.

[voidedramblings]

are you the fire or just another flame?

[voidedramblings]

how long has it been since your body was yours? how long, how long since your skin has fit right, since your face has sat in its perfect spot. it’s been so long since you haven’t felt the dissolving fear of your appearance. your eyes move away from the mirror.

[voidedramblings]

breaking through, past the thin veil of falsified comfort,

it stings like acid until you’re dissolved and torn apart;

with time, there’s nothing left.

[voidedramblings]

looking through the mirror at this gaudy physicality of me;

will i ever stop seeing in the mirror the imperfections of me?

i want to learn to love myself barreling forward with full intent and heart,

but it’s hard when the bile of hatred builds up everytime i try to start.