vonuberwald

[vonuberwald]

this is just so funny to me

[vonuberwald]

the blog for this is @vanterris and there will be weekly little extracts :3

I'm almost 20k words into writing an mpreg fantasy book and created a new tumblr for it and setting that up. Just wanted to gauge interest amongst mutuals and followers who are into that kind of thing with a short extract before I commit to anything like a Patreon:

The walk back through the village was slow, careful. The storm had dwindled to flurries, but the cold still clung to the air like a warning. Daren kept close beside Kalen, one hand on his lower back as his mother walked slightly ahead, cradling the tiny baby wrapped snugly in thick wool.

Daren’s heart was a storm of its own.

He kept glancing at Kalen—tired, pale, but still impossibly beautiful. There was a fragility to him now, something raw and unguarded that Daren hadn’t seen before. His long dark hair was tied loosely back now with a borrowed ribbon, framing the angles of his face, and the way he moved—slowly, wincing now and then—made Daren ache in places he hadn’t known he could ache.

He’d seen suffering before in his time as a guard in various postings. Blood, loss, fear. But this was different.

This was sacred.

The baby had stopped crying, small and content in Maera’s arms. She looked like Kalen, no doubt—tiny button nose, delicate features, a soft pout that somehow echoed the man who had birthed her. And the way Kalen had looked at her back in the lodge… gods.

It had undone him.

By the time they reached the house—stone, sturdy, warm with hearth-fires and carved beams—Daren felt like his chest was full to bursting. His mother led them upstairs, opening the wide door to one of the guest rooms. It had a tall bed with thick quilts, and now, thanks to Gerris and the servants rushing ahead, a cradle rested beside it, freshly cleaned, stuffed with furs and soft linens.

Maera gently placed the baby inside.

“I’ll let you settle,” she said with a calm, unreadable glance between the two men. “Food will be brought up soon. Kalen, if you need anything, you ask.”

She turned to Daren as she passed him, giving the briefest nod. Her way of saying: Take care of them.

And then they were alone.

Kalen moved slowly to the bed and sat down, eyes flicking to the cradle with cautious awe. Daren watched as his hands trembled just slightly, smoothing the blanket around the baby. His expression was unreadable—love, fear, wonder… grief.

Daren swallowed hard.

He didn’t deserve this. None of what had happened. And yet, here he was—holding it all together, piece by piece, with a strength Daren had never seen in anyone else.

Gods, you’re beautiful.

It wasn’t just his face. It was the way he held himself despite everything. The way he’d opened up to Daren in the worst moment of his life. The way he was still breathing.

And Daren… he wanted to protect him. Not like a soldier protects a border. Not like a guard following orders.

Like a man. Like someone who saw something rare and refused to let it be broken again. He should have been scared at the force of his own emotions, Kalen had been a stranger to him before now, but it didn't feel like something that should be kept at a distance. It felt right.

---------

This is a little after the beginning, which gets into it right off the bat. I am still umming and ahhing over how explicit I want to commit the sex scenes - and there will be sex scenes lol - to be. Without giving too much away, it's more self-indulgent than anything else, not meant to sell well or be super popular, but it would be nice if I get a heads-up if there is some interest in supporting a Patreon or a Ko-fi if I do go ahead as I would definitely like to commission some 'official' art for it once it's published. Names of characters may change in the final piece.

[vonuberwald]

Officially adding "responding to obviously facetious complaints with long-winded explanations of why the status quo is both natural and inevitable" to my list of block-on-sight offences.

[vonuberwald]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[vonuberwald]

I'm almost 20k words into writing an mpreg fantasy book and created a new tumblr for it and setting that up. Just wanted to gauge interest amongst mutuals and followers who are into that kind of thing with a short extract before I commit to anything like a Patreon:

The walk back through the village was slow, careful. The storm had dwindled to flurries, but the cold still clung to the air like a warning. Daren kept close beside Kalen, one hand on his lower back as his mother walked slightly ahead, cradling the tiny baby wrapped snugly in thick wool.

Daren’s heart was a storm of its own.

He kept glancing at Kalen—tired, pale, but still impossibly beautiful. There was a fragility to him now, something raw and unguarded that Daren hadn’t seen before. His long dark hair was tied loosely back now with a borrowed ribbon, framing the angles of his face, and the way he moved—slowly, wincing now and then—made Daren ache in places he hadn’t known he could ache.

He’d seen suffering before in his time as a guard in various postings. Blood, loss, fear. But this was different.

This was sacred.

The baby had stopped crying, small and content in Maera’s arms. She looked like Kalen, no doubt—tiny button nose, delicate features, a soft pout that somehow echoed the man who had birthed her. And the way Kalen had looked at her back in the lodge… gods.

It had undone him.

By the time they reached the house—stone, sturdy, warm with hearth-fires and carved beams—Daren felt like his chest was full to bursting. His mother led them upstairs, opening the wide door to one of the guest rooms. It had a tall bed with thick quilts, and now, thanks to Gerris and the servants rushing ahead, a cradle rested beside it, freshly cleaned, stuffed with furs and soft linens.

Maera gently placed the baby inside.

“I’ll let you settle,” she said with a calm, unreadable glance between the two men. “Food will be brought up soon. Kalen, if you need anything, you ask.”

She turned to Daren as she passed him, giving the briefest nod. Her way of saying: Take care of them.

And then they were alone.

Kalen moved slowly to the bed and sat down, eyes flicking to the cradle with cautious awe. Daren watched as his hands trembled just slightly, smoothing the blanket around the baby. His expression was unreadable—love, fear, wonder… grief.

Daren swallowed hard.

He didn’t deserve this. None of what had happened. And yet, here he was—holding it all together, piece by piece, with a strength Daren had never seen in anyone else.

Gods, you’re beautiful.

It wasn’t just his face. It was the way he held himself despite everything. The way he’d opened up to Daren in the worst moment of his life. The way he was still breathing.

And Daren… he wanted to protect him. Not like a soldier protects a border. Not like a guard following orders.

Like a man. Like someone who saw something rare and refused to let it be broken again. He should have been scared at the force of his own emotions, Kalen had been a stranger to him before now, but it didn't feel like something that should be kept at a distance. It felt right.

---------

This is a little after the beginning, which gets into it right off the bat. I am still umming and ahhing over how explicit I want to commit the sex scenes - and there will be sex scenes lol - to be. Without giving too much away, it's more self-indulgent than anything else, not meant to sell well or be super popular, but it would be nice if I get a heads-up if there is some interest in supporting a Patreon or a Ko-fi if I do go ahead as I would definitely like to commission some 'official' art for it once it's published. Names of characters may change in the final piece.

[vonuberwald]

Working on a little something for fun. Going to do some character profiles as well~

[vonuberwald]

The blog I will be using is @vanterris - it's currently empty for now until I can get some art together and post a few more extracts as I go

[vonuberwald]

I'm almost 20k words into writing an mpreg fantasy book and created a new tumblr for it and setting that up. Just wanted to gauge interest amongst mutuals and followers who are into that kind of thing with a short extract before I commit to anything like a Patreon. You can reply on here, message me or if you know my discord, I am happy to talk over there at length:

----------

The walk back through the village was slow, careful. The storm had dwindled to flurries, but the cold still clung to the air like a warning. Daren kept close beside Kalen, one hand on his lower back as his mother walked slightly ahead, cradling the tiny baby wrapped snugly in thick wool.

Daren’s heart was a storm of its own.

He kept glancing at Kalen—tired, pale, but still impossibly beautiful. There was a fragility to him now, something raw and unguarded that Daren hadn’t seen before. His long dark hair was tied loosely back now with a borrowed ribbon, framing the angles of his face, and the way he moved—slowly, wincing now and then—made Daren ache in places he hadn’t known he could ache.

He’d seen suffering before in his time as a guard in various postings. Blood, loss, fear. But this was different.

This was sacred.

The baby had stopped crying, small and content in Maera’s arms. She looked like Kalen, no doubt—tiny button nose, delicate features, a soft pout that somehow echoed the man who had birthed her. And the way Kalen had looked at her back in the lodge… gods.

It had undone him.

By the time they reached the house—stone, sturdy, warm with hearth-fires and carved beams—Daren felt like his chest was full to bursting. His mother led them upstairs, opening the wide door to one of the guest rooms. It had a tall bed with thick quilts, and now, thanks to Gerris and the servants rushing ahead, a cradle rested beside it, freshly cleaned, stuffed with furs and soft linens.

Maera gently placed the baby inside.

“I’ll let you settle,” she said with a calm, unreadable glance between the two men. “Food will be brought up soon. Kalen, if you need anything, you ask.”

She turned to Daren as she passed him, giving the briefest nod. Her way of saying: Take care of them.

And then they were alone.

Kalen moved slowly to the bed and sat down, eyes flicking to the cradle with cautious awe. Daren watched as his hands trembled just slightly, smoothing the blanket around the baby. His expression was unreadable—love, fear, wonder… grief.

Daren swallowed hard.

He didn’t deserve this. None of what had happened. And yet, here he was—holding it all together, piece by piece, with a strength Daren had never seen in anyone else.

Gods, you’re beautiful.

It wasn’t just his face. It was the way he held himself despite everything. The way he’d opened up to Daren in the worst moment of his life. The way he was still breathing.

And Daren… he wanted to protect him. Not like a soldier protects a border. Not like a guard following orders.

Like a man. Like someone who saw something rare and refused to let it be broken again. He should have been scared at the force of his own emotions, Kalen had been a stranger to him before now, but it didn't feel like something that should be kept at a distance. It felt right.

---------

This is a little after the beginning, which gets into it right off the bat. I am still umming and ahhing over how explicit I want to commit the sex scenes - and there will be sex scenes lol - to be. Without giving too much away, it's more self-indulgent than anything else, not meant to sell well or be super popular, but it would be nice if I get a heads-up if there is some interest in supporting a Patreon or a Ko-fi if I do go ahead as I would definitely like to commission some 'official' art for it once it's published. Names of characters may change in the final piece.

[vonuberwald]

idk how to word this properly but wrt the fanfic thing you reblogged earlier. Why do fanfic writers have such different expectations than any other content hosting platform?

Like lets take youtube as a point of comparison, Engagement like comments and likes largely exists to boost the works place in algorithm, thats why youtubers put in calls to action and other engament bait. Few with decent reach even read the comments and the audience shouldnt try to develop any weird parasocial relationship with the youtuber. Fanfic authors ask for likes (kudos, because the websites gotta use nonstandard language for some reason) and comments despite them not having any impact on an algorithm, and seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author based on tumblr posts like that one.

Why the radical difference in behaviour away from the norm? And honestly with all the (usually) metaphorical blood spilled online about parasociality why are authors really surprised that the audience tries to keep their distance as is best practice with any other content producer?

okay I am going to answer this as kindly and as calmly as I can and try to assume that you are asking this in good faith. because my friend, the fact that you feel the need to ask is, to me, The Problem.

[this is, for the record, in response to this post]

fanfiction writers are not *posting content.* (I also have reservations about engaging with the term "content producer" or "content creator" but let's put that aside for now, I'll circle back to it.) you say "they seem to want the audience to try and develop a relationship with the author" as though it is strange, off-putting, and incomprehensible to you, when in fact that is the point of writing fanfiction. it is a way of participating in fandom. it is a way of building community and exchanging ideas and becoming closer with people.

if authors wanted to solely ~generate content~ that would get them attention (?? to what end, the dynamic you have described seems to equate algorithmic supremacy as winning for winning's sake, as though all anyone wants to do is BUILD an audience without ENGAGING with them, which I cannot fathom but let's pretend for a moment that is, in fact, true) then like. if that were the case why on earth would they choose a medium in which they categorically cannot succeed and profit, because it isn't their IP?

you are equating two things that are not at all the same thing. to the degree that parasocial relationships are to be avoided, and "that person is not trying to be your friend they are trying to entertain you, please respect their boundaries" is a real dynamic -- which it is!! -- like. you have to understand that the reason that is true for the people of whom it is true is because it is their JOB. they are storytellers by profession, and they are either through direct payment, or sponsorship, or advertising, or through some other means, profiting off of your attention. i don't say this to be dismissive, many wonderful artists and actors and comedians and any number of a thousand things that i enjoy very much go this route but they do so as a *career choice.* and so when you violate the public/private boundary with them, you are presuming to know a Person rather than their Worksona. the people who work at Dropout or who stream their actual play tabletop games or who broadcast on TikTok or YouTube are inviting me to feel like i know them to the degree to which that helps them succeed in their medium and at their craft, but there MUST be a mutual understanding that that's a feeling, not a fact.

however.

a fanfiction writer is not an influencer, not a professional, and is not looking to garner "success." there is no share of audience we are trying to gain for gain's sake, because we are not competition with one another, because there is nothing to win other than the pleasure of each other's company. we are doing this for no other reason than the love of the game; because we have things we want desperately to say about these worlds, these characters, these dynamics, and because we *want more than anything to know we are not alone in our thoughts and feelings.* fanfiction is a bid for interaction, engagement, attention, and consideration. it is not meant to be consumed and then moved on from because we are NOT paid for our work, nor do we want to be. the reward we seek is "attention," but attention as in CONVERSATION, not attention as in clicks. we are not IN this for profit, or for number-go-up. there is no such thing: legally there cannot be. we are in this because we want to be seen and known.

like. please understand. i am now married to someone i met because of mutual comments on fanfiction. our close friend and roommate, with whom i have cohabitated for over a decade now, is someone I met because of mutual comments on fanfiction and livejournal posts. that is my household. beyond my household, the vast majority of my closest personal friends are people with whom I built relationships in this way.

you ask why fanfiction writers want THIS and not "the norm," but the idea of everything being built to cater to an algorithm to continue to build clout, as though the only method of reaching people is Distant Overlord Creator and Passive Receptive Audience being "the norm" is EXTREMELY NEW. this is not how it has always been!! please think of the writers of zines in a pre-internet fandom, using paper and glue and xerox to try and meet like-minded people in a world that was designed for you to only ever meet people in person, by happenstance, in your own hometown. imagine the writers of the early internet, building webrings from scratch to CREATE a community to find each other, despite distance. imagine livejournal groups, forums, and -- yes, indeed, of course -- comment threads IN STORIES -- as places where people go to *converse.* in the past, we had an entire Type Of Guy that everyone knew about, the BNF ("Big Name Fan") whose existence had to be described via meme because it was SO DIFFERENT THAN THE NORM. treating fellow fans like celebrities or people too cool for the regular kids to know was an OUTLIER, and one commonly understood to lead to toxicity.

in the past, I have likened writing fanfiction to echolocation. i am not screaming because I like hearing the sound of my own voice, though i can and do find my voice beautiful. i am screaming so that the vibrations can bounce back to me and show me the world. the purpose is in the feedback. otherwise it is just noise.

does this make any sense? can you see, when i describe it that way, why an ask like yours makes me feel despair, because it makes us all sound so horribly separate from one another?

perhaps I will try another metaphor:

a professional chef who runs a restaurant will not have her feelings hurt if you never fight your way into the kitchen to personally tell her how much you enjoyed the meal. that would, indeed, violate a boundary. professional kitchens are a place of work, and you have already showed her you enjoyed the meal by paying for it, or by perhaps spreading your enjoyment by word of mouth to your friends so they, too, can have good meals. you show your appreciation by continuing to come back. if a bunch of people sitting around randomly happen to have a conversation about how much they love the food, it wouldn't hurt that chef's feelings to not be included in the conversation. however: EVEN IN THIS INSTANCE, it is ADVISABLE AND APPROPRIATE to leave a good review! you might post about how much you like this restaurant on Yelp, and it would probably make the chef feel great to see those positive comments. but the chef doesn't NEED them, because the chef is, again, *also being paid to cook.* that's why she started the restaurant, to be paid to cook!

i am not being paid to cook.

i am at home in my own kitchen, making things for a community potluck where i hope everyone will bring something we can all enjoy together. some people at the potluck are better bakers, some better cooks; some can't cook at all but are great at logistics and make sure there's enough napkins for everyone; some people come just to enjoy the food, because that's what the party is for. and if I, as this enthusiast chef who made something from my heart for this reason alone, learned after the fact that a bunch of people got together in the parking lot to rave about my dish but no one of them had ever bothered to tell me while I sat alone at my table all night, occasionally seeing people come by to pick up a plate but never saying anything to me -- of course that would bother me, because I am not otherwise profiting off the labor I put in. this is not a bid to be paid, because if someone WERE to say "hey, great cake!! here's five bucks for a slice" i would say no, friend, that is not the point and give them the money back. i'm not trying to Get Mine. I am in it to see the look on your face. I'm in it so you can tell me what about it moved you, so that I can say back what moved me to make it in the first place. so we can TALK about it.

because what happened in the first place is this: one time I had a cake whose sweetness, richness, flavor, intensity, and composition moved me so much that I *taught myself to bake.* so I could see how much vanilla and sugar was too much, so I could learn how to make things rise instead of fall flat, so I could even better appreciate the original cake by seeing for myself the effort and talent and inspiration that goes into making one even half as good.

learning to do so is a satisfying accomplishment in and of itself, yes.

but I also did it because at the end of the day we should EAT the cake. and it's a lonely thing, to eat alone when a meal was always designed and intended to be shared.

so, to answer your last question: i'm not surprised, i'm just sad. because somehow two things that were never meant to be seen as the same have been labeled "content," and thus identical. and it diminishes both the things that ARE intended to be paid for AND the things that are not, because it removes any sense of intimacy or meaning from the work.

i hope you know i'm not mad at you for asking. but i'm frustrated we've come to live in a world where the question needs to be asked, because the answers are no longer intuitively obvious because we're so siloed.

[vonuberwald]

I’m sure you’ll all be happy to hear that Hideo Kojima is living his best life after leaving Konami. Not only did he get to frolic around with Mads Mikkelsen, he also got himself a sub. You think I jest but...

Translation: Refn is a kinkster who use his movies to express his kinks. He knows Kojima is a kinkster too who also puts his kinks in his games and that he’s going to use Refn for something that turns Kojima on, and Refn thinks that’s hot. Their’s is a relationship you probably shouldn’t dig too much into.

+ Bonus: confused and scared Kojima fanboys

[vonuberwald]

sluttiest thing a man can do is pass out from pain

[vonuberwald]

This blog is NOT a safe space for blorbos and OCs. They WILL be whumped.

[vonuberwald]

resting

[vonuberwald]

new phrase i’ll take with me

[vonuberwald]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[vonuberwald]

Not feminist as in "women should be included in the draft" but feminist as in "being drafted is a violation of bodily autonomy for any gender".

The draft should not exist. Drafting people into the military is a violation of human rights. You should not be able to force someone to risk their life. If you can't find enough people who care about a conflict to keep it going then it simply shouldn't keep going. You can't even force someone to donate a kidney using government power, why the fuck can you force them to donate their whole body and life to a cause they don't agree with or don't care about?