vrajeli

[vrajeli]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[vrajeli]

"tumblr's the only social media without algorithms!" "you can still be anonymous on tumblr!" "tumblr's so nice because you don't have to show your face!" WRONG tumblr is special because you can have 3000 followers and still get an average of seven likes a post. i'm doing stand up comedy at a packed venue and one person is laughing

[vrajeli]

Chronic pain pisses me off cause I'm not even incapacitated for like a cool or badass reason instead my body is throwing the world's biggest temper tantrum because it's raining outside

[vrajeli]

Something I find incredibly cool is that they’ve found neandertal bone tools made from polished rib bones, and they couldn’t figure out what they were for for the life of them. 

Until, of course, they showed it to a traditional leatherworker and she took one look at it and said “Oh yeah sure that’s a leather burnisher, you use it to close the pores of leather and work oil into the hide to make it waterproof. Mine looks just the same.” 

“Wait you’re still using the exact same fucking thing 50,000 years later???”

“Well, yeah. We’ve tried other things. Metal scratches up and damages the hide. Wood splinters and wears out. Bone lasts forever and gives the best polish. There are new, cheaper plastic ones, but they crack and break after a couple years. A bone polisher is nearly indestructible, and only gets better with age. The more you use a bone polisher the better it works.”

It’s just. 

50,000 years. 50,000. And over that huge arc of time, we’ve been quietly using the exact same thing, unchanged, because we simply haven’t found anything better to do the job. 

[vrajeli]

kind of wild how i’m absolutely sure that going to bed every night at 9:30 pm without my phone would improve my life in every conceivable way, an action that’s both free and easy to do if it weren’t also somehow impossible

[vrajeli]

Jean Paul Gaultier Spring 2025 Couture

[vrajeli]

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

[vrajeli]

i'm a substance abusing pseudo intellectual but you will respect me

[vrajeli]

Sci fi should bring back the sweaty tanky top muscle woman fighting for her life but give some fucking underarm hair

[vrajeli]

this is crazy?????

[vrajeli]

[vrajeli]

i don't respect americans and what they refer to as chicken sandwiches because when i was working at my old job as a barista slash sandwich bitch (australian) i had this american tourist come in and order a chicken sandwich so i started MAKING. her. a chicken sandwich. asked her what kind of bread she wanted and she looked at me funny. i said We have sourdough, rye, multigrain, wholemeal, plain white bread. she said I Want A Chicken Sandwich. i, roughly 19 years old at the time and not getting paid enough to deal with rude americans, realised we were at some sort of stalemate, although i didn't really know why. i change tacks for a second and say Okay. Well would you like chicken schnitzel or would you like plain roast chicken. and she says. Are You Listening To Me? I Said I Wanted A Chicken Sandwich. i am smiling at her from behind the counter and gripping a large knife. "i'm trying to make one for you, i promise. i just need to know what kind of bread and what kind of chicken and also what other fillings you want". or at least i say something LIKE that. secretly at this point i'm hoping that she outright yells at me so i can have an excuse to go stand in the walk in freezer for a few minutes. eventually we figure out that her idea of a chicken sandwich and my idea of a chicken sandwich are not the same, and i have to explain to her that we don't have burger buns here and we also don't have fried chicken. she says fine, but she says it in a tone that indicates that she cannot believe this is happening to her and that it is, singularly, my fault. i give her a bunch of options for food we DO sell and she ends up ordering something With Ketchup. i smile at her and i say "oh you mean Tomato Sauce". i was antagonizing her just a little bit at this point. a tiny bit. because she deserved it. she looks me in the face and says, Americanly (smugly) something about my attitude and how she won't be tipping. i gleefully tell her "we don't have tipping here." and then i secretly charged her two extra dollars for being an awful person. and that's my story about americans and chicken sandwiches. okay love you.

[vrajeli]

“The markings upon the band begin to fade. The writing, which at first was as clear as red flame, has all but disappeared… a secret now that only fire can tell.” - The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring, 2001

Want to knit this scarf? You can download my free pattern here! :)

[vrajeli]

Being like. Post-suicidal is so strange. Like hiiiii everybody im new I spent a good chunk of my life languishing and have like 3 or 4 lived experiences. But now I'm ready to fuck and party or whatever. Can we be friends. Im so happy to be here. Can we be friends

[vrajeli]

[vrajeli]

[vrajeli]

The thing with amateur local theater is it is almost always bad BUT keeping it alive is the most important thing