wafflesofficial - Tumblr blog

[wafflesofficial]

[wafflesofficial]

[wafflesofficial]

they should just put random people’s faces on money

[wafflesofficial]

shes fat

[wafflesofficial]

a car goes full speed off a cliff and explodes at the bottom and when the smoke clears it's actually just perfectly parallel parked

[wafflesofficial]

boris has brought you a pool noodle

[wafflesofficial]

Idk who Dream is but I, eager to upstage him, should do a cock and balls reveal

[wafflesofficial]

I'm handwash only do NOT put me in that fucking mashine

[wafflesofficial]

Hes charging <3

[wafflesofficial]

[wafflesofficial]

[wafflesofficial]

not my itsy bitsy ass climbing up the water spout again

[wafflesofficial]

if i was harry from the british royal family i would just tweet "the queen died? thats too bad mines still alive though xoxo" with a picture of meghan markle and then turn my phone off

[wafflesofficial]

taught my dog the word 'yucky' in association to grossness so if he's chewing on something weird I run up to him and yell "YUCKY" and he gives me this look

[wafflesofficial]

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

[wafflesofficial]

[wafflesofficial]

thank god I can finally experience what it was like to be a cabinet member when the Reynolds Pamphlet was published