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shoutout to maudlin self loathing hours, it's like i never left being a teenager

oh wait, no, its worse, i actually have concrete reasons now. hah.

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lalah

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god i love being useless and unemployable and broke and

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love that backflipping from so high up instead results in you basically teleporting

also yes i DID climb up the tower again for screenshots of my alt

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under my regime genderbend isekai will be the only isekai that remains

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Back in 2013, I posted a Welcome to Night Vale fic and someone commented, “I’m autistic and I see myself a lot in the way you write Carlos. Did you intend for him to autistic?”

And I was like “I’m flattered you think so! No, he’s not intended to be autistic, but I’m glad you can see yourself in him.”

Now twelve years later I spent some time this evening trying to track down that comment to give a very belated clarification. Whoever you were stranger, hey. I only said no because I based Carlos heavily on me, and since I wasn’t autistic, Carlos wouldn’t be either. Well. I’ve learned some stuff in the intervening decade that strongly support your literary analysis.

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Aoi can get in on the summertime fun too. She deserves it.

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Are you enjoying this?

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Alyssa's first impressions of the scions and her opinions on them now

Alphinaud: nancy boy (derogatory) -> nancy boy (affectionate)

Alisaie: "local teen grumpy about politics" -> yuri vibes that she's unsure if she wants to reciprocate

Thancred: rejected kpop boyband member who will not shut up -> Dad Friend (not in the "acts like a dad to her" sense, but in the "friend who has a kid and whose hobbies have started to include things like fishing" sense)

Y'shtola: "oh thank god another mi'qote, even if she is a nerd" -> "at some point she became my mom and im not sure when or how that happened"

Urianger: "what the fuck is wrong with him– oh he talks like that on purpose? hilarious." -> gay jojo elf (affectionate)

Y'da* & Paplymo: "idiots who immediately ruined initial attempts at diplomacy with the cabbages" -> "honestly I could relate to her better when she was just interested in punching things"/"i did not expect him to have that much resolve, yknow what, good for him"

Minfilia: "girl what ARE you wearing" -> oomfie! (guilt guilt guilt guilt guilt)

Tataru: "Aw, she's kind of cute" -> "i don't know how much political influence this woman has and at this point i am afraid to ask." unclear on how many paramours she has but she is living her best life

Estinien: "honestly i was going through some shit and most of my memories from back then are clouded with murderous rage, but i thought he was reasonable" -> the most sensible member of the scions, and the most relatable. comrades in being unemployed weirdos. ("holy shit please wear shirts less often.") ("google is it weird to proposition your incredibly athletic friends for casual sex")

krile: "please tell me more embarrassing stories about alphinaud i need to bully him." + honorary catgirl -> "please tell me more embarrassing stories about alphinaud and g'raha, i need to bully them. also are you perhaps aware of any other hostile deathtraps and can you take me there."

g'raha: "there is only room for one red-haired catperson on this team and also i hate him and he's stupid and should shut up" -> "oh yeah thats my little brother. he's a dweeb" ("he spent so long thinking he was LARPing as a competent head of state that he doesn't realize he is one?? bro your imposter syndrome is crazy")

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btw i adore that they wear red capes in the Crystarium, with red cape being perhaps the most universally recognizable symbol of a fantasy hero. a city of heroes nurtured by a man obsessed with epic tales of adventure and heroism

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I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

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thinking about ___ again, specifically in the context of "local girl does not have a stomach"

specifically because. the gotei 13 are samurai. and, until ichigo helps them collectively pull their heads out of their asses, are extremely invested in following the Law™ and accepting the consequences and punishment of that. To the point that, while the Sōkyoku is used for execution, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that ritual suicide is also probably pretty normalized.

___ wasn't a seated officer, but she was part of the gotei 13. her duties are protecting the living and defeating hollows. There's some leeway given to ichigo & the visored for their respective hollowfication, as it was something that happened to them, but as seen with Tosen, willingly seeking it out is reprehensible.

___ did not become a hollow willingly, no. But, unlike the others, she did not fight back against it nearly as hard as they did. The visored beat their inner hollows into submission for power, and keep them on a tight leash. She's hollow enough that "hollow bait" worked on her like catnip.

As a member of the gotei 13, her conduct is extremely shameful.

But she no longer has a stomach to slice open, no guts to spill. She cannot commit ritual suicide to erase that shame. Ever. ♥

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Why do you use It/Its pronouns...

i got tagged in elementary school and never recovered

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Really funny to think that as all the Calyx stuff was going on Urianger and Thancred have just been sipping mimosas on the beach

And Estinien's idk probably lost in Argentina or something

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i'm always in favor of adding more conditional dialogue to xiv, be it based on race or job or whatever else, but more than anything else i want fandaniel to have an extra line if you're wearing amon's hat. the more distressed he is about you having it, the better

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broooo did you seriously disturb my eternal rest & bring me back to this mortal coil just because my ancient enemy the eternal night has returned? after i sealed it away and everything? which one of you tampered with my binding runes 🙄