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Luo Bingge who searches for his kind Shizun ends up in a strange version of his own universe where he (yet?) does not exist

However, there is the kind Shizun there. He is not Shen Qingqiu, but he is very similar to him —same eyes, similar facial features; perhaps some kind of close blood connection? Luo Binghe is dying of curiosity to find out— and GENUINELY kind, warm, a rogue cultivator that helps both mortals and demons. Everything would be perfect for Luo Binghe; he doesn't exist in that world, there's another, rather absent Demon Emperor hanging around. His existence is a blank slate with no reputation or horrors, and he can simply walk up and win over his kind and gentle Shizun.

Except for the fact that his gentle Shizun actually SEEMS to know him even if that's impossible. The way he reacts when Luo Binghe introduces himself by name is not normal, which makes Luo Binghe frustrated. What exactly is going on?

And also except that his kind Shizun has adopted two slave kids, who are now his spoiled children. And if Luo Binghe had the slightest intention of reaching his Shizun's heart by being kind to his children, all his plans go down the drain when those Yue Qi and Xiao Jiu prove that Luo Binghe is not at all welcome to court their Baba.

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Thinking about a AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as Xiu Ya, Shen Jiu who has never really talked to sword spirit much suddenly have spirit changed into annoying brat who looks like him and sasses him back and is just like 'I have has this new Xiu Ya/Shen Yuan for a day and if anything happens to him I am killing everyone on this mountain and then myself' instant adoption. Who cartes if he's a sword spirit he is now Shen Jiu's baby brother.

The problem is that the little beast (Because of protagonist halo) can now see Xiu Ya's new form also and Shen Jiu can see the look in the brats eyes and NOPE. NOT HAPPENING.

His stupid little brother/sword also seems to dote on the little beast and now he can't punish brat without upsetting him so instead he is just reinforces all wards (because he's very sure the brat will try and steal Shen Yuan if he gets the chance)

He has to deal with his oblivious sword caring so much for Luo Binghe whose pupils seem to literally turn to hearts.

The abyss is a relief for Shen Jiu no matter how much Shen Yuan mopes and mourns at least he's safe.

Until Jin Lan city... where he can see the beast giving his sword bedroom eyes. Not that Shen Yuan has noticed he's freaking out and telling Shen Jiu to run worried about human stick or something.

When he's arrested Luo Binghe instantly confiscates Xiu Ya/Shen Yuan and then without a word reveals demon and disappears into demon world.... everyone there is just gasping confused while Shen Jiu is livid

Shen Jiu: Congratulations your all fucking idiots and now he will defiling my sword/little brother and probably try to marry him. I hate you all so much.

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I love that both the shens are two faced in such insanely different ways. Shen jiu pretends to be haughty but he's hiding the fact that he's traumatized and insecure. Shen yuan pretends to be cool but he's hiding that he's really a huge fucking nerd who reads porn for plot

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i finally finished crazy person communication: the redrawening

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Idea where after Bingmei Vs Bingge extra, Bingge finds out that the 'kind Shizun' was the result of a qi deviation...

So he ends up taking Shen Jiu out of water prison and forcing qi deviations.

He is basically doing a qi deviation gacha everything hoping for kind shziun...

Eventually Shen Jiu dies and Shen Yuan is forced into body by system.

Shen Yuan waking up as scum villain....that's for some reason not in water prison... his limbs are intact... but he's pretty sure he sees scars and have these been reattached?

Then Luo Binghe is there smiling...happy and offering food and... What the fuck is happening? What is this plot? System the fuck?

Is this some new torture? Is he luring him into a false sense of security? What is Luo Binghe's plan here???

LBH:MY PLAN WORKED! YES! time to start planning wedding and coronation of my empress.

SY: internal screaming and confusion.

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Expanding on my other post about Shen [Yuan] Qingqiu wearing his hair in the Dead Anime Mom side ponytail: SQQ just keeps on planting death flags without even realizing it, especially of the Fridged Woman variety, and Shang Qinghua is pulling out his hair over it.

SQQ is in his depression post-conference and stops taking care of himself? "Okay, yeah, I get that you're in your feelings and all, but bro, can your bare-bones depression beauty routine not include the Dead Mom hairstyle?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. It's obviously not the same, I'm a man."

"Cucumber-bro, can you please stop ending every conversation with, 'Oh, I have something important to tell you. We'll talk when I return'?!"

"What, I do have something important to talk to you about, I just don't want to get into it right now. Chill out."

"You cannot keep going on night hunts with Liu Qingge that involve you walking through meadows or beaches, bro, you are building a Dead Wife Memory Montage. The only way this could be worse is if you find a way to giggle under some blankets with him."

"... Okay, it's not like that and you know it, but now that you mention it, we did get attacked by a Joyful Hypnosis Silk Net Spider a few weeks ago..."

And so on and so forth.

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Imagine if modern binghe still had heavenly demon blood and became some sort of super hero and one day he rescued shen yuan and carried his blushing friend home bridal style. Like vibrating out of his skin bc omg yuan ge was so cute in my arms and he was so shy insisting "I'm too tired to walk home but I can call someone to help me, you don't have to..." before holding on to binghe tight

And the next day binghe is so cheery as he asks "yuan ge, did something interesting happen recently?" And shen yuan says "hmm? Oh, the newest pidw update was garbage!! Can you believe-" and binghe listens to shen yuan rant and goes wait... he's not going to talk about it?

And binghe lies and says "I saw a picture online of that hero guy carrying you" and shen yuan goes a little pink and says "oh.. yeah, he brought me home. No big deal" and now binghe is STRESSING because holy shit how many gay encounters does yuan ge have that he doesn't mention. What do you mean being carried home bridal style is no big deal. How many men are you bringing home!?!??!

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haha thats so funny [face gets gravely serious] but were you not a staunch and trusted ally i would have you executed for such a joke

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Shen Yuan suffering actual consequences of Qiu Haitang revealing to fucking everyone that Shen Jiu was a slave.

Lords and ladies starting to look at him with badly disguised disgust. Some of the other peak lords coming with barbed comments. Someone questioning if he even was legally allowed to be a peak lord, if he's a runaway, not even a freed slave. Still property. Less than human.

Others looking at him with pity, telling him it must've been hard, he's certainly done something amazing, going from being less than nothing to the Qing Jing Peak Lord, in an inspiration porn way.

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I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

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eeee so usually at the end of the day every day i turn on our little robot vacuum in the nature center but yesterday for whatever reason i just didn't feel like fiddling with it so i swept instead which i have never done since i started here

i found a pearl on the floor that i thought might have been fake like a glass button but i decided to put it in my office just in case

well this morning a woman visiting from texas came in and she told me she lost a pearl from her cherished ring yesterday and she had hiked so it could be anywhere but she just had to check on the slim chance it happened to fall off here and someone happened to find it

i have NEVER been so pleased with myself for having swept a floor in my life!!!!!

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hate an x reader fic do not put me in a situation

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man sometimes i really want to get back into welding but then i remember that the guys from the first course i took won’t be there and change my mind

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Shen Yuan decides to get in shape, so he hires his friend Liu Qingge to be his trainer

Liu Qingge is awful at it though. He throws Shen Yuan into heavy exercise immediately and shen yuan throws up on the first day. When he sees shen yuans flushed face and heavy breathing, Liu Qingge blushes and calls him shameless (he's tired!??). When Shen Yuan takes off his clothes to change after the session, he stands shirtless and says he's so sore after what Liu qingge did to him, and Liu qingge runs out of the changing room without another word

So shen yuan goes to Binghe, much to Liu Qingge's outrage. Binghe is way gentler- too gentle. They spend an hour doing nothing but stretching, and then binghe insists on helping yuan ge change even though he's not tired at all! Binghe says proper eating habits are important, so he cooks all of shen yuans food for a while. But whenever shen yuan says he wants something sweet, binghe says that's fine! Treat yourself! Until shen yuan checks and finds out he's more out of shape than when he started "working out" with binghe

Eventually its mu qingfang who gives shen yuan an exercise regiment that's suited for someone as frail as him, and a proper meal plan. It's just some light walking and less instant noodles - he doesn't even have to go to the gym to get healthier! He doesn't understand why Liu qingge and Luo binghe glower at him with raw hatred whenever they're in the same room

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a little JiuYuan idea...

You have a world torn by war, where immortal cultivators struggle against the rising threat of demons. Somewhere in the struggles, a plan is hatched: find someone of unsurpassed beauty to give as tribute to a demon. This beauty will be a spy, an assassin, a blade that will strike at the heart of the demon forces. A good plan. A solid plan.

Shen Jiu is chosen as that beauty. He's taken into the cultivator ranks, freed from Qiu Jianluo, and trained for this one terrible purpose. He becomes Shen Qingqiu, a man of cunning and peerless beauty, with a reputation as sharp as his sword. To the demon side, he is a worthy prize, and they accept him as a bride.

Shen Qingqiu expects rough pawing, endless abuse, and other terrible things he's been taught that demons do. What he gets is a strange demon groom who smiles and laughs and blushes and treats him with respect. He's not dragged off to bed, and every seduction attempt is gently thwarted. What was hate becomes curiosity, and slowly the lines between enemy and friend begin to blur.

He was taught that demons are nothing but beasts, yet these beasts treat him better than the more civilized cultivators that tossed him into a lion's den. The more he tries to fulfill the mission, the more complicated it gets, and somehow, some way, his husband outsmarts him at every turn.

How could he know this demon, beloved comrade of the half-demon prince, knows his moves before he makes them? Transmigration is not something he knows about, and Shen Yuan isn't about to reveal his hand any time soon. Hell, it's basically keeping him alive up to this point!

He doesn't want a knife in the gut should he fail, after all. And Shen Qingqiu isn't the kind to hesitate for long.

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i love this website i just feel at home here you know