wanderingthroughwickford

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Hello followers and friends,

Lately I’ve been in a very dangerous place mental health-wise. Two weeks ago I had to be sent home from work due to a panic attack, and last weekend I self-harmed by attempting to overdose on pills. 

Social media sites, especially Tumblr and Facebook, have been a big part of this. My parents were frantic and insisted that I should 1) throw away my computer and 2) move back in with them. I’ve just moved to a new province and started a new job and a new chapter of my life. I don’t want to throw that away. So my wonderful sister - the greatest person in my life - and I came up with a plan. First up, I’m going to deactivate my Facebook. Secondly, because I don’t want to delete the blog I’ve put six years of my life into, I’m going to let my sister into my account so she can change the password on me so I can’t get in. This blog will remain up, and I’m going to set a short queue to post the last couple of things in my Likes, but then that’ll be it. Sometime tomorrow this blog will be shut down. 

I have made many amazing friends, and strengthened many pre-existing friendships, through this site. I’ve discovered amazing fanart and fanfiction. I have also been educated a lot on social justice here, and I’m grateful for that. But I’ve reached a crisis point in my life and I can’t keep enabling my self-destructive habits in this way. 

For my mutuals, you already know where to reach me, but for anyone else that’s interested, I’m at:

YouTube - Owellafehr999

DeviantArt - Obiwanlives4ever

FanFiction.net - Obiwanlivesforever

AO3 - WanderingthroughWickford

Sporcle - Obiwan4ever

Instagram - hollybp93

I also have a Reddit and a Gmail but those are a bit more personal so I’ll only be giving them out to mutuals/people I know well. 

Thank you everyone. Please take care of yourselves. Let’s all try to make the world a little brighter. 

[wanderingthroughwickford]

All the elements in your body were forged many many millions of years ago in the heart of a faraway star that exploded and died. That explosion scattered those elements across the desolations of deep space. After so, so many millions of years, these elements came together to form new stars and new planets. And on and on it went. The elements came together and burst apart, forming shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings. Until, eventually, they came together to make you. You are unique in the universe. There is only one [you]. And there will never be another. Getting rid of that existence isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a waste!

The Eleventh Doctor

[wanderingthroughwickford]

hotchkiss-and-tell here, wishing you all the best.

Thank you! <3 <3 <3 

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Have a lovely fresh start! Thank you for all the great content you've given and shared. Stay safe, stay healthy, and know you are loved!

Thank you! That’s so kind of you!!! And right back at you! 

[wanderingthroughwickford]

The whole reason I initially got a Tumblr was to be a Nancy Drew fanblog, specifically based around TRT. So I think it’s only fitting that a TRT-related post should be my last one. Thanks for everything, Clue Crew. :)

Hope to those who search. | Treasure in the Royal Tower

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Very soon I’m going to make my last two posts before shutting this down tomorrow. If anyone has any final messages they’d like to send, please do so now!

[wanderingthroughwickford]

• Woman's Dress: Bodice, Overskirt, and Underskirt.

Worn by: Mrs. Thomas W. Evans (Anne DeCosta Yard).

Date: ca. 1875

Medium: Brilliant blue velvet, lighter blue silk faille and ecru tatted lace.

[wanderingthroughwickford]

[wanderingthroughwickford]

[wanderingthroughwickford]

• Dress.

Date: 1859

Culture: North American

Medium: Silk

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Alice in Wonderland (1951)

[wanderingthroughwickford]

there’s a creature in my chest and at all times she’s banging a drum and shouting “GUILT! GUILT! WE LIVE AND DIE WITH GUILT!” 

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Reminder to be HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS of any ideology that casts Suffering as a Virtue

[wanderingthroughwickford]

I like mythology better than religion because it hits the same notes but nobody thinks that you should be killed if you don’t believe in it.

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Favorite Nancy Drew Locations: The Bolet Mansion

[wanderingthroughwickford]

Nancy Drew in Danger on Deception Island

You’re just the kind of person I was hoping to find. Smart, resourceful, tenacious, and curious.

[wanderingthroughwickford]

When I was younger and more abled, I was so fucking on board with the fantasy genre’s subversion of traditional femininity. We weren’t just fainting maidens locked up in towers; we could do anything men could do, be as strong or as physical or as violent. I got into western martial arts and learned to fight with a rapier, fell in love with the longsword.

But since I’ve gotten too disabled to fight anymore, I… find myself coming back to that maiden in a tower. It’s that funny thing, where subverting femininity is powerful for the people who have always been forced into it… but for the people who have always been excluded, the powerful thing can be embracing it.

As I’m disabled, as I say to groups of friends, “I can’t walk that far,” as I’m in too much pain to keep partying, I find myself worrying: I’m boring, too quiet, too stationary, irrelevant. The message sent to the disabled is: You’re out of the narrative, you’re secondary, you’re a burden.

The remarkable thing about the maiden in her tower is not her immobility; it’s common for disabled people to be abandoned, set adrift, waiting at bus stops or watching out the windows, forgotten in institutions or stranded in our houses. The remarkable thing is that she’s like a beacon, turning her tower into a lighthouse; people want to come to her, she’s important, she inspires through her appearance and words and craftwork.  In medieval romances she gives gifts, write letters, sends messengers, and summons lovers; she plays chess, commissions ballads, composes music, commands knights. She is her household’s moral centre in a castle under siege. She is a castle unto herself, and the integrity of her body matters.

That can be so revolutionary to those of us stuck in our towers who fall prey to thinking: Nobody would want to visit; nobody would want to listen; nobody would want to stay.