watchcrafter

[watchcrafter]

eternal ass june ive already reincarnated 10,000 lives this month

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Rob Zombie making brownies

EGGS milk and flour BAKE for half an hour and FROST with the back of my SPATULA

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I dunno man I thought it was pretty clear with where it stands, maybe you're just stupid?

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Hey everyone, remember that being sick or healing from injuries is a hard time for your body. You have to eat a lot and lay still and be kind to yourself! [large neon sign that says HYPOCRITE descends from the ceiling and points at me] Hey what the heck what's this who put that there

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I Can Invent New Symbols For The Thing I Am

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its because you're always using that damn Scrub Daddy

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I've been doing a lot of thinking about my family and how I was treated as a child, and honestly, my father has never seemed more amazing in my eyes.

I used to love Luigi(Mario's brother) when I was little. Like, he was my favorite character ever, and I had multiple plushies of him. Didn't give a fuck about Mario, vaguely tolerated Peach, but I loved Luigi.

On my first day of kindergarten, my dad gave me the number for his work phone and said it was Luigi's phone number. "If anything happens at school, call Luigi."And not even twenty minutes into my first day, I was having a panic attack. So I went down to the principal's office and called "Luigi."

Now, at the time, my father was in a meeting with his manager and his supervisor, along with most of his coworkers. And when I called, he picked up before he even left the room.

And he put on a very awful Italian accent and said, "Itsa me, Luigi! Whatsa the matter?"In front of his boss and coworkers. Without telling them what was going on. So they were absolutely bewildered, and he carried on like they didn't even exist. He only explained what was happening after I had calmed down and hung up, to which most of them responded with "Aww, cute."

I continued to call him whenever I got upset at school, and eventually his coworkers got in on it. I distinctly remember one of them impersonating Toad. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just thought it might make you smile :)

this is so delightful I love your Luigi dad

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[watchcrafter]

we’ve been on that diorite

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Star Trek Beyond but Spock naturally has to go into a healing trance after being nearly mortally wounded in the ship crash, so all the Spones scenes on Altamid are Bones dragging along Spock’s unconscious body Weekend At Bernie’s-style and having philosophical conversations with it

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If a regional war breaks out between Iran and Israel, Gaza will be forgotten. We will continue to suffer this suffering and will not be mentioned in anything. We will be forgotten forever.

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I dont really fuck with american pop culture and its discourses anymore but Beyonce celebrating ethnic cleansing with her tour shirt is tooooo on the nose

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why do garage sales start at like 8am. have some decorum man

[watchcrafter]

Tony Soprano