we-are-the-rebellion

[we-are-the-rebellion]

Kenji and CeeCee exiting any elite event:

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[we-are-the-rebellion]

i drive me mad

//I’ve been neglecting this blog and I am SORRY

//I’ve been hyperfixating on the Punisher and all my energy has gone into pining over Billy Russo, so that’s fun

//here’s a thing to make up for the absence, inspired by the renforshort song

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   Nate and CeeCee didn’t always fully understand each other. CeeCee’s struggles had always been unavoidable due to the colour of her skin, whereas Nate could usually just conceal his minority status with the three short words “I’m not gay.” While Zander was extremely, unabashedly, sometimes annoyingly affectionate with CeeCee, Kenji was closed off and cold, afraid to even hint at the notion of having feelings. They didn’t typically come to each other to talk about their grievances with society, or with their partners, since there wasn’t much common ground in those regards. This didn’t mean they had nothing in common, quite the opposite was the case. What the two of them shared was a feeling of exhaustion. 

   Nothing was okay. Everything was just more trauma, more hurt, more of the same. Of course Zander and Kenji understood those feelings, maybe more than the others sometimes due to just how long they’d been in this fight, but it just wasn’t the same talking to them. Jesse and Alezander also weren’t very good to talk to, Jesse since he was essentially an outside and Alezander because his “coping methods” often left him so high it was sometimes impossible to have a real conversation with. Nate always felt bad venting to Lewis since he thought of him as a son, and it wasn’t a parent’s job to dump their pain on their kids, especially when they were dealing with their own things. So that left the two of them with each other.

   “Still not sleeping?” CeeCee asked, pouring a glass of water as Nate yawned, sat on her couch in the same clothes he’d been wearing almost all week. He groaned and nodded.

   “Kenji’s been doing a lot of night missions, so I don’t have anyone to tell me to shut up and go to bed.” he sighed, taking the glass of water. 

   “Set an alert on your phone to go off after a certain time. You can even make it play Ken’s voice. It’ll be like he never left.”  Nate chuckled and took a sip.

   “Yeah, but my phone doesn’t threaten me with physical violence.”  CeeCee squinted at him, a smile playing at her lips.

   “Almost sounds to me like you miss him telling you he’s gonna knock you out if you don’t go to sleep by 11.” she said with a slight laugh, sitting down beside him and putting her feet up on the coffee table. Nate raised his glass as if he were going to start a toast.

   “Hey, it’s a damn good incentive.” 

   CeeCee sighed and leaned her head against the couch. 

   “I miss Zander.” she muttered. He had gone into hiding a few weeks ago on the coast because of a recent attempt on his life. Nate put his hand on her shoulder.

   “He’ll be back soon.” he assured her. She put her hand over his.

   “I know. I just miss all those little things he’d do, y’know? I miss him sleeping with me, cooking with me, I miss him complaining he lost his glasses when he’s wearing them... I miss him.”  Nate wrapped both of his arms around her shoulders and pulled her close just as the first few tears started to drip down her cheeks.  “You know last week, I did my hair. It’s nothing new, I dye my hair all the time but... Life, it felt different. I didn’t do it because I wanted to feel pretty, I did it because I wanted to feel like I did before all this shit started.” she mumbled into Nate’s shoulder, sniffling.  “I feel like I’ve been going crazy for the past few years and he was what kept me from losing it.” 

   “I know that feeling.” Nate said softly as he rubbed her back.  “I think we’re all going crazy.”

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//it ain’t much, but its honest work

Tags: @thereasontherumisgone

[we-are-the-rebellion]

I need help

//okay so I made this sideblog for a writing project I made with my friend Danny, and I kind of went through a creative dry spell and ditched it for a few weeks... woops. 

//no one cares. anyways, one of the main characters is a black woman (ceecee) and I’ve struggled to write too much for her because I am a white boy in a conservative town who knows nothing about what it’s like to live as not a white boy. I made her character to be a strong independent woman in a sexist and racist dystopian society, but I don’t want to fall into “sassy strong black bitch” tropes so I do my best to flesh her out more. she is emotionally vulnerable, and scared of the world she lives in, and she ends up leaning on her boyfriend a lot. she does live in a predominantly white society where just being black is likely to get you killed by the government police (what else is new *laughs nervously*) and so there aren’t many people like her to talk to, and those who are there are often too afraid to be a rebel like she is. 

//can anyone help me? am I overthinking this?? aaaaaa I wanna start writing on here again but I wanna do it well. if you can, pls reblog this so I can talk to people smarter than me and get help <3

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how write book?

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//A very decent portion of these are nate and kenji and that's the only dystopian content u guys are getting this week

Joining in on that ship dynamics meme hehe

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//I feel bad for not writing but honestly all my manic energy just evaporated and now I’m sad

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“I’m a writer,” I say, as I come up with characters and their appearances, personalities, interests, and interactions with other characters, but stare blankly at my computer screen, struggling to come up with a plot.

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//😢 y'all so sweet

REBLOG IF YOU DON’T MIND WRITERS TAKING TIME OFF FOR THEIR MENTAL HEALTH

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Everything Is Gonna Be Fine - File 006

Date: 3/5/215

Incoming signal: Hello? Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is there anyone in the wasteland listening to me? Fuck, this is hopeless…  We don’t even know if people are alive out there, we’ve never left the region because of the horror stories we’ve heard. CeeCee are you sure? …Yeah, right. Ahem! I’m Nate, I’m from the Eastern OQ region, and for the last ten years I’ve been fighting in, well to put it lightly, a pretty nasty civil war. The group I was with has been mostly killed or captured and our leader is missing, presumed dead. Please, if someone is out there and can hear this, we need supplies. Wait what’s- Shit! CeeCee get down they found-

Outgoing message: Nous vous entendons. Sur routre chemin.

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Date: 8/10/214

Location: Rebel base, Toronto, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Nate wanted a nap. More specifically, he wanted to nap with Kenji. He yawned and shuffled into his room, feeling drained. He noticed a small piece of paper on his pillow. It was a note.

To Nate.

I’m busy today.

Happy anniversary.

Nate smiled. He had forgotten, today was his tenth anniversary with Kenji. How had he forgotten but Kenji had remembered? Nothing made sense. Well now he had to go and find Kenji and force him to come nap with him. Yes, his main goal was still to have a nap.

   Kenji got back to his quarters about half an hour after Nate found the note. He looked completely beaten down. 

   “Hey Ken.” he greeted, wrapping his arms around the other man’s waist. He didn’t reply.  “You tired?”  Kenji put his left hand over Nate’s arm.

   “Tired doesn’t begin to describe it.” he muttered. 

   “Want to go to bed early today?” Nate asked, softly kissing Kenji’s cheek. Kenji sighed and nodded slowly. Nate guided his boyfriend to the bedroom and sat down on the edge of the bed with him.  “Thanks for the note this morning.” he chuckled, leaning his head against Kenji’s shoulder. Kenji didn’t say anything, and it was starting to concern him. He put his hand on his cheek and tilted his head to look at him.  “Hey, what happened? Are you alright?”  Kenji put his hand over Nate’s and closed his eyes. 

   “The last mission... It was a shitshow.” he mumbled. Nate frowned.

   “I know... You told me.” 

   “A lot of people got killed.”  

   Nate sat up, cupping Kenji’s face and kissing his lips softly. He pulled away, leaning their foreheads together. 

   “It isn’t your fault, Ken.” he whispered, stroking his thumb over his face, his beard lightly scratching his hand. 

   “Maybe not, but I fucked up.”  Nate leaned both of them back onto the bed, cuddling him, rubbing his shoulders, trying to get him to relax. Kenji felt tense, and Nate couldn’t help but feel his heart break a little. The last mission hadn’t just been a shitshow, it was the worst mistake they had ever made. Support for the rebels was crushed, morale was non existent, and Lewis... He was still technically just missing, but nobody expected him to come back. Nate had needed a week to be alone and mourn the boy who he considered to be his son. He had barely seen Kenji in that time, not because he blamed him for what happened, but because they had both agreed that Kenji’s abrasive and unempathetic response to loss wasn’t what Nate needed. Now he was back, and Kenji clearly wasn’t dealing with things well. 

   “I know you fucked up, but other people fucked up too.” Nate said gently. He sighed, trying to put words to what he was feeling.  “Since even before I met you, you’ve been doing this. Fighting. Risking your life, risking my life, risking... risking everyone’s lives. I was shocked when I found out you and Zander were the rebel leaders everyone was talking about, and for a moment I thought you two must have been completely fucked up.”  He paused, licking his lips and brushing a loose strand of hair out of his eyes.  “But good things happened because of the things you guys did. Things are changing, getting better.”  Kenji pulled away, sitting up and putting his face in his hand.

   “Nothing is going to get better because of this. People are dead, my people are dead. The elites have a perfect reason to demonize us now, nobody wants to believe in us. We proved to them that we’re the evil, violent monsters they said we were.” he growled. He sighed and stood up.  “You should have stayed away. This is just going to get worse.”

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Date: 13/6/215

Location: Prison Complex, Ottowa, Ontario-Quebec Region

   Zander hit the floor and for a split second everything seemed to go still. Quiet, even. Nate could only see him lying there, only hear the quiet, understated "thud" that he made as his broken body hit the cold steel. Nate could only focus on the emptiness inside him. What was this feeling and why did it keep coming back? It could barely be called a feeling, it was more a lack of feeling. He was too tired to feeling sad, or angry, or hurt, or hopeless. There was just... nothing. Nothing inside him, nothing to make him feel anything. Just empty. That's all Nate could focus on as he saw his best friend collapse. The little spark of hope he had felt earlier, hope to get out of here, was gone. It went out at the same that Zander had stopped running. Now he was just stuck feeling apathetic and confused, staring and not being able to process the real world around him. Gunshots were quiet, footsteps were deafening, the space around him felt so big it was crushing. He could've stayed in that haze forever if he was allowed. He almost wanted it. Nothing was better than hurting.

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Date: 9/10/214

Location: Rebel base, Toronto, Ontario-Quebec Region

Nate stormed into Kenji's room. He didn't consider it "his" room, or "their" room anymore. It was only Kenji's. Kenji had dragged him into this life, Kenji had brought him out into this fucking field, Kenji had killed his son. There was no sympathy for him anymore.

"You bastard." he hissed, yanking Kenji out of his desk chair and to his feet. "You lied to me." Kenji scowled, shoving him back.

"I never lied to you." he snapped. Nate felt his rage burning behind his eyes, stinging out hot tears.

"You fucking knew that Lewis was in danger! You knew that he was going to die!" he screamed, grabbing Kenji's collar and forcing him to look him in the eye. "You... You hid that message from me... He was telling you how to fix it! He was telling you that you didn't have to fucking kill anyone, and you just ignored him!" Kenji wrenched his hands off his shirt and pushed him away.

"When he signed up to be one of us, he knew he might have to die one of us." he growled, stalking off towards the door. Nate gritted his teeth and stood in his way.

"Fuck off, you can't just say that kind of shit when I have proof that he didn't have to die!" Kenji rolled his eyes and Nate felt so angry that he couldn't just hold it back anymore. He slapped Kenji across his mouth. He choked out a sob and turned away, not wanting any more excuses or buts. He didn't want to deal with this, with him, anymore. "We're done, Kenji. Don't ever get me involved in your bullshit again."

He left the base and got into his car, intended to drive back to his real home, but as soon as he closed the side door he broke. He started crying, hard and ugly. He sunk down in the driver's seat and covered his face. His parents, Mary, Lewis, and now Kenji. He was tired of losing people. He was tired of being unable to sleep at night because he kept thinking about them. Why was he still here if all he had to do was feel this pain? This hurt, this grief. Every day was just more fear. "Who's going to die today? What do I have to sacrifice to make it to tomorrow?" Was "tomorrow" even fucking worth it? The more he kept going, the less he felt like it was. Tomorrow was just a vague concept, a carrot dangling on a stick to keep him moving. He didn't want to move. He wanted to stay, just for a little bit, in the same place with the same people.

As he stopped crying, nearly an hour later, he didn't have the energy to drive. His head was pounding, his eyes were puffy and strained and he was exhausted. With life, just in general... who knew? He pulled out his phone and stared at the screen for a few moments. He didn't know what to do, he was stuck there... just gazing down at the soft blue light emanating from the screen. He sighed, closing his eyes and tossing his phone onto the back seat. He had to go home.

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Date: 13/6/215

Location: Prison Complex, Ottowa, Ontario-Quebec Region

The man crouched in the roof, aiming his rifle down at the ground below him. He had been waiting for hours, it was what a sniper did. No movement below, although he could hear alarms. They would be out soon.

He had temporarily cut the alarms, trying to give them as much time to get away. He knew that it wouldn't make their escape easy, just easier. Without his help they would have been gunned down in seconds.

His radio buzzed softly to his left. He had it intercepting the transmissions of the prison guards.

"Shit, shit..."

"How the fuck did nobody catch them earlier?"

"Just shoot them."

"They're headed for the entrance!"

He adjusted himself slightly, getting ready to fire at a moment's notice.

"We got one down, repeat one of them is down. The others have stopped."

"Rail on 'em, fill them with holes."

"Wait, wh-"

That was new. Someone else was down there. He could hear the fighting on the other end of the line, scuffling and muffled shouts. Gunshots, then yelling in... Life, were they speaking French? Fucking course they were. He couldn't understand a word of it.

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"Tara, where the fuck did you go?" Lewis shouted. Tara growled and stuck their hunting knife under the visor of one the guards. They hated the "squish" the guard's head made, but it had to be done.

"I was looking for you, numbnuts!" they snapped, pulling their knife out.

"Yeah, sorry. Too busy trying not to get shot!" He rushed over to Zander's side and, with Milo and CeeCee's help, lifted him up. "Shit, what are we going to do with him?" he muttered in English, grimacing when he saw that Zander had ripped out the stitches in his side and was losing blood much faster than a person should lose it.

"Do you think your friend can get us past the guards?" CeeCee asked, fear plastered on her features. Lewis swallowed, looking as Tara dodged and took out as many soldiers as they could. They were a survivor, agile and strong as a tank. But they were human.

"Not without help. Fuck, uh..." He looked around frantically. "Milo, help carry Zander. Just get him out as fast as you can and get to our ride. I'll help Tara." he ordered quickly, grabbing a gun from the guard Tara had killed. The rest were injured but still alive, and he didn't doubt they wouldn't be too happy if he tried to take their weapons. He pointed it at a guard's legs and shot, taking them out. Tara nodded at him appreciatively, grabbing the guard's gun and using it instead of the knife.

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The sniper listened to the shots. They were still outnumbered, but this gave them a few precious moments to run. After a minute or two, the group ran out. Lewis had his arm hanging limp at his side. Of course, it wasn't realistic to think that they could get out unscathed. But the little brat kept firing his gun. It was admirable. CeeCee and the other boy carried Zander, trying their best to be fast and careful. Needless to say, but the man needed blood or else he wouldn't make it an hour. The sniper had given them medical supplies, slipped them into Lewis' garish tank. It would only help what was left of Zander Ashworth's vital organs stay inside him, but that was all they needed.

He focused his crosshairs on one of the soldiers that was in pursuit of the rebels and shot. In a moment, everyone had taken notice. They knew he was there, but it didn't matter. What sparse cover there was out in front of the complex wasn't enough to save them. Nate looked up at him as he took out the soldiers, one by one. He couldn't tell if he could see his face, but it didn't matter. He wouldn't see him again.

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//authors note, fuck tumblr for mobile it absolutely bent me over the counter and fucked me

//the formatting on this is terrible it's ruined

tag: @thereasontherumisgone

[we-are-the-rebellion]

//I would like you all to know that tumblr for mobile is the worst thing I've ever seen I hate it I hate it I can't write with this my formatting is DESTROYED I want whoever designed this garbage app to show themselves so I can write a very stiffly worded letter and maybe hire a hitman

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Zander: you're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late

Nate: Jokes on you I'll hate myself in the morning no matter what

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Kenji: You've really grown on me.

Nate: Wow tha-

Kenji: Like a fungus. You've released spores into my brain and I can't form rational thought anymore.

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Nate

Poor Nathaniel Sharp Jr. Having lost his arm and his parents in a car crash at age twelve, he's been a social recluse. Barely seen in public, but often gossiped about and prodded. "Where have you been?" "Are you involved with the rebellion?" "Is it true your parents' death weren't accidental?" This public interest is the result of his parents having used their short lived place in the government to promote the idea that this society wasn't the only way of living. Their car was booby trapped and they were both killed.

One fateful night, after his friend insisted on setting him up with a guy, he got unwittingly involved with the actual leader of the rebellion. His life has never been easy, despite his family's money, but now he has the added threat of being arrested for treason.

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CeeCee

Cecilia "CeeCee" Camryn is an anomaly in OQ's society. She technically has enough money to be an upper class citizen, but her race and unconventional style make her "undesirable" to the elites. She's fine with this, even though lower class life is difficult and sometimes nearly unlivable, as she would "rather die than be a stuck up rich bitch." Her do no harm and take no shit attitude makes her a perfect mix of soft and strong. Strong enough to stand up for herself, her beliefs and those she loves, but not abrasive or cold like... a certain colleague of hers.

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Kenji

Kenji Hirayama has always been a trouble maker. He had problems in school, starting fights, arguing with teachers, skipping and challenging authoriy at every level. It didn't matter who was reprimanding him for his behaviour, whether it be teachers, headmasters or the law, he would always tell them the same thing. "You gonna shoot me like you shot my father?"

As he got older, it seemed that this behaviour briefly stopped, but in reality he just channeled his pent up anger into something else; sabotaging the government. It was impressive, an 18 year old boy making and planting small explosives in cars, setting traps for patrolling soldiers, stealing . There were never any deaths, it was always just small inconveniences to the military, but it made things clear. Kenji was a fighter. Little by little, his actions gathered supporters, until at age 21 he finally had enough manpower to do something serious. Using his friend Zander's money and stolen weapons, he broke into the prison complex and freed 38 prisoners. For the next two decades, Kenji Hirayama has been the biggest, angriest and most aggressive thorn in the regime's side.

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Zander

Zander Ashworth has always been defined as the black sheep of the family. The son of one of OQ's richest families, with a long and unbroken chain of success and power in the government, he has always stood out, and not just looks wise, although his piercings and tattoos didn't fit the mold of what an upper class citizen "should" look like. He is frequently seen in poorer neighborhoods, standing up for minorities, donating money to people who need it and actively criticising his father and aunt, Michael and Genevieve, for their abuses of power in the government. This has made him a popular point of interest to the media. Gossip about Zander always gets high viewership rates. A popular rumour is that he has been in a secret off-and-on homosexual relationship with a lower class man in the who is described as "astonishingly unfriendly," as this man has appeared in public with Zander for all of his adult life.