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wearetheexception · 1 day

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* IT'S A MATCH! — jjk men on dating apps

// you've matched with: gojo satoru, geto suguru, nanami kento, sukuna ryomen

summary: your experiences with the jjk men on various dating apps (hc and small blurb set) fem!reader warnings: 18+ mdni, unprotected sex (all), breeding kink (nanami), public sex (gojo and geto), car sex (geto), praise kink (geto), nipple play (gojo), fem!receiving oral (sukuna), overstimulation (sukuna)

: ̗̀➛ GOJO SATORU

you match with gojo on HINGE!

listen, i—this man is hinge's exact target audience. his first photo is the most majestic, stunning photo you've ever seen (it was 100% taken by a professional photographer) and the rest of his photos are the most obscure, borderline concerning memes (what the fuck is onika burgers...?) combined with some... brow-raising prompt answers. "dating me is like: dating the most perfect angel princess supermodel superstar 🐬❤️‍🔥🤯🥰😋👑✨ ever" and "i go crazy for: some CRAZY sloppy top like gawk gawk 1000% vacuum seal special hmu"

he is so unserious. he leaves an interesting message on a photo of yours that he likes: "may god bless the dinosaur that died to make the fossil fuel that was treated to become petrol in the car that took your mom to the hospital to give birth to you" like ofc you match

he either messages you instantly or takes 5 business days, there is no in-between. you have three conversations going on simultaneously about different topics and at this point, you just wanna meet this man (get dicked down) and finally, he asks you out to go check that new cafe with gourmet pastries downtown!

gojo's got you crowded up against a brick wall outside of the cafe in broad daylight, sucking wet, sloppy marks into your neck and only continuing to migrate lower until he's pulling down a side of your shirt to reveal the soft material of your lacy bra. you're whining, looking around the alleyway in fear that one of the workers is going to step outside, "gojo... quit it, someone could come out any minute," but your actions betray your words, tugging on his hair to continue.

instead of acknowledging you, he takes a long sip out of his abomination of a drink, some iced caramel blended drink with fixings that made the barista earlier grumble under their breath, and comes back to one of your nipples with cold, cold lips that send a shock down your spine. "so fucking sweet. could taste you all day long."

you barely notice the way his other hand has sneaked down to the front of your jeans, hastily undoing the button and quickly descending to the where you need him most.

"you just gotta stay quiet. you can do that for me, yeah?"

: ̗̀➛ GETO SUGURU

you match with geto on TINDER!

when you swipe right on geto, you get one of those notifications that encourages you to super-like just because of how popular he is. he has some great photos, a few smiling ones with friends, one that shows off his impressive car, absolutely beaming with pride, but it's his last photo that makes you take the leap and super-like his profile. it's a mirror selfie of him after what looks like a hard and successful day at the gym, muscles flexed, hair tied back showing off his piercing, and looking so fucking delicious with a sheen of perspiration that makes him look otherworldly.

he's so good at keeping the conversation going, he compliments your top ten artists, and he even asks about the pet that you have in one of your selfies! it's all in great fun and you guys even exchange numbers and plan a date (dinner and a movie) within the next three days.

you guys don't even make it to the movie. your hand slides up against the fogged up glass window of his car, breaths coming out in irregular intervals as geto slams his dick up to make a home in your pussy. your hands are going every which way, lost and going insane with the sensation of him mercilessly bouncing you up and down, completely undressed while he still sits fully clothed in the driver's seat.

"f-fuck, good girl," geto grits his teeth, head thrown back like he's the one being tortured. "so fucking tight and wet and—holy shit, holy shit—"

at the uncontrolled praise, you moan wantonly, pussy clenching against his hard length as you reach even closer to your peak. "geto, 'm gonna cum, shit, please!"

when he looks back into your eyes, pupils blown wide and you feel your heart stutter at his next words. "who said you could cum yet?"

: ̗̀➛ NANAMI KENTO

you match with nanami on BUMBLE!

it's a week before your sibling's wedding and you have no date! during the bachelorette party, wasted out of your mind, you come to the sad realization that you might just have to suffer through the ceremony and reception alone while surrounded by other people who are happily partnered up. what could possibly be worse?

nanami kento is the most put-together and successful man you see in the first half hour of swiping through the app. like holy fuck, why are you here? this man has carefully cultivated his profile to include a very tasteful bio, a set of photos that showcase a rare, smiling photo of him (courtesy of gojo), and has all his interests, career, what he's looking for, etc. you pause when you see that he has "wants children" under his family goals. you swipe right, because this man is exactly who you need to bring to a wedding.

throughout the wedding day, he's polite, respectful, and so fucking handsome in his custom-tailored suit. he somehow makes it onto 80% of the wedding photos and he's not even part of the family! and at the end of the night, when most of the wedding guests have gone home and it's just you and him slow dancing on the dance floor, you make a mental note to thank those other bridesmaids later.

at your hotel room, he's the opposite of polite and respectful but you think he looks so fucking handsome like this, fucking you from behind and forcing you to look at the mess you've made in the mirror. his hands, god his fucking hands, are driving you crazy, one hand wrapped around the length of your hair and the other holding your ass in place to reach you even deeper. "n-nanami—slow... slow down!"

the pace and the position he's got you in is brutal, but you love it. there's stars in your eyes and he's pulling your hair back so your head's turned to look him in his eyes.

"can't... can't slow down, sweet girl," nanami's breathless, lost in the way your pussy feels scorching hot and squeezing him just right, and he knows it's unbecoming, knows that the way he wants to fill you up and make you bear his kids after the first date is impulsive. it's not like him. but they way you look, desperately attempting to grasp onto something, anything just to be able to take his dick, well... how could a man hold back? "need to fill you up, need to cum inside."

"we gotta work fast if we wanna get you down that aisle next, right?"

: ̗̀➛ BONUS: SUKUNA RYOMEN

you match with sukuna on CHRISTIANMINGLE.COM!

you don't even know why the fuck you showed up. your friend created a profile for you behind your back after too many complaints of being single, the girlies are TIRED. why they chose christianmingle.com of all apps? you'll never know. ring before spring!

sukuna's profile picture is a faceless photo of his unclothed abdomen, showing off a really impressive six-pack and stark black tattoos. he slides into your DMs with the most obscene and graphic pickup line you've ever seen, and somehow it works. how he hasn't gotten banned yet, you don't understand.

he's fifteen minutes late. when you look at your watch for the seventh time that night, you blearily accept the fact that you'll probably die alone, until your date finally shows up. he smells like cigarette smoke, gasoline, and fireball shots. despite every possible red flag being waved in your face, you stay.

in person, he's even more shameless than you thought was humanly possible. you've caught him blatantly staring at your tits more times than you can count, while you're ordering, you see him swiping on tinder when he thinks you're not looking, and he flirts with the server.

he ends up back at your place at the end of the night.

and holy fuck, he's eating your pussy like a man starved. he's moaning into your cunt, three calloused fingers fucking you hard while he presses a rough thumb to your clit, and you cum for the third time that night. he's not even doing it for you at this point, he's doing it for himself.

"you ready?" ready? you hear the sound of his belt coming undone and the whoosh of pants joining yours on the floor. when you look over, you can't help the gasp that escapes your lips. oh my god. "not god, babe. it's just me."

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wearetheexception · 1 day

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── 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐀𝐘 𝐍𝐎 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐓

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your daughter really wants a cat, and you're adamant that the answer is no... until it starts to look like a yes.

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: sanji x wife!reader

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.4k

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: daughter oc, sanji and reader have a child, chaos ensues, no use of Y/N

𝐚/𝐧: a very happy mother's day to all the mothers out there! had this in the drafts so i decided today would be the perfect day to finish it :)

“So unfair!”

“Dyla! Dyla!” You called after your daughter as she sprinted down the hall, nearly slipping on her socked feet, and disappeared around the corner. A door slammed a second later.

You ran a hand over your face as your husband sauntered in from the kitchen, eyeing the hall as if to see that the coast was clear. Sanji had a habit of disappearing the moment your daughter showed signs of a tantrum.

Today was one of the worst ones, all because you’d told her no. Sighing, you managed not to throttle Sanji when he grinned and offered you a cookie, fresh from the oven. You swiped it and took a bite, letting the stress roll off your shoulders as the cookie melted on your tongue.

“What’s she fussing about?” Sanji wondered, prompting you to roll your eyes to the heavens as you shoved the whole cookie in your mouth, swallowing it too early and wincing as you choked it down.

“She wants a cat,” you told him as you placed your hands on your hips.

Sanji raised a brow. “And you said no?”

“Of course I said no!” You pinched your brow. “We can’t take care of a cat.”

“... Why not?”

You shot him a sharp look, gesturing toward the window giving you a beautiful view of the sea and her rolling waves. The small ship rocked underneath you. “I’ll give you one guess.”

He followed your gesture and had the nerve to shrug, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So? Cats love water.”

You flicked his forehead and swept over to clean up the pile of blankets Dyla had left out from her pillow fort. “Wrong. They hate water.”

“A cat would chase off the mice?”

“Whose side are you on, Sanji?” You tossed all the blankets into one pile as your gaze was drawn back down the hall again.

“No one’s, my love,” he said softly, resting his hands on your shoulders and rubbing small circles on your back. “I’ll talk to her. Maybe Aunt Nami will make her a stuffed cat when we dock in a few days.”

That brought a smile to your face, though only slightly. Sanji pressed a kiss to the back of your head. “She’ll be over it in an hour.”

“You sure?”

“Aren’t I always?”

“... I won’t dignify that with a response.”

And sure enough, three days later, when you docked in Cocoyashi Village, Dyla’s mood had improved greatly. Hopefully, by the time your family returned to your sea-top restaurant drifting somewhere in the East, Dyla will have given up on her cat fixation.

That was until Aunt Nami promptly squashed all your hopes.

“Aww, c’mon,” Nami whined, a pouting Dyla on her hip. “Let ‘er have a cat.”

Sanji barely choked back a laugh at the way your whole face fell at your daughter’s sudden excitement. You ran your hand over your face, pulling at your skin, and shot Nami a glare. “Our lifestyle isn’t ideal for a cat.”

Dyla groaned, dropping her head onto Nami’s shoulder. Catching your eye, Nami chuckled nervously. “Oh, yeah. I don’t think a kitty would like living on the water, kid.”

Again, a prolonged whine came from your child. Nami pursed her lips, obviously trying to think of something, before her face brightened. “Hmm, does it have to be a cat?”

Dyla lifted her chin, head tilted. “Huh?”

“Your pet. Does it have to be a cat?”

Your daughter spent a moment in thought, her eyes flickering to side as if assessing invisible calculations, before she shrugged. “I guess not.”

Nami beamed at her and shot you a grin. “Perfect! What if we find a pet that would love being at sea, huh? I think your mom would compromise.”

Dyla’s hopeful eyes found you in an instant, and you grinned halfheartedly. “If you find a pet that likes water, and promise to take care of it… I’ll say yes.”

She let out a giddy squeal, squirming out of Nami arms and racing toward the rows of tangerine trees. Dyla wasted no time in digging around in the dirt. She talked to herself off in the distance, tripping over roots and kicking around fallen, rotten fruits. Nami bumped your shoulder with her own, now standing between you and your husband. “You’re welcome.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed softly. “With our luck, she’ll bring back a cobra.”

“Compromise,” Nami sang, starting toward the little girl now hanging from a low tree branch, screaming for help at the top of her lungs.

Sanji swept around and took both your hands, quickly drawing you away with a tiny smirk on his lips. You raised a brow. “Yes?”

“The others will be here by evening,” he said. “Which means we only have a few hours to ourselves.”

Shooting a glance back over your shoulder, you found Nami somehow waving you off whilst she held Dyla’s legs up, the girl monkey-barring up and down the branch. You whipped back around and gripped Sanji’s hand in a vice, giggling like a kid again. “Let’s go.”

Up and down the streets of Cocoyashi’s neighboring port, if you could even call the little village a port, you and Sanji raced and teased and danced around markets and docks. His lithe fingers tickled at your slides as he ducked through the meager crowd, and your sneaky hands tugged at his hair before you darted behind a stack of crates.

Sanji’s arms caught your middle when you tried the trick again, laughter spilling from your lips. Chests heaving, he released you just enough for you to spin in his arms and peck his lips. People were staring, sure, but neither of you could care less.

Sanji suggested the pair of you find something to thank Nami for babysitting. Halfway into agreeing, you spotted something… odd, just over his shoulder. Lightly tapping his arm you moved around him and slinked toward the tower of metal crates resting in the shade of a building. Beside it a market stand of various jewels and fine metals were being sold.

“You wanna get her a necklace or somethin’?” Sanji wondered aloud, promptly guiding you forward with a hand on your back till you dug in yoru heels and grabbed him by his shirt sleeve. You only shook your head, slowly approaching the vendor.

You stopped in front of the crate tower, and only then did Sanji realize what the matter was. Within the confines of the very bottom crate was a creature, curled into itself. Its little body was orange and striped and shivering. As you knelt on the ground, two of the tiniest fear-filled yellow eyes peered out at you.

Emotions welled up within you. Reaching out a hand to tap the cage bar, your heart tightened around nothing when the cub flinched away. “That can’t be comfortable, can it…”

“Ah!” The creaky voice of the vendor interrupted your thoughts. “I see you’ve found my little friend!”

Your eyes darted up to find a sorry excuse for a man staring down at you. Sanji stood over you with a matching scowl. The vendor simply kept on with that irritating glow in his eyes. “Right from the jungles of Little Garden!”

Slowly, you rose from the ground and settled the man with a steely look. A thousand possibilities came to mind, but only one arose to topple the rest (a possibility you saw yourself regretting in the very near future). “How much?”

“You won’t find a better—Wait.” The man stammered, hands clasping together as an excited laugh left him. “Of course! You’re very direct, dear! I like it!”

Sanji’s lips curled. “Just tell me the price.”

The man choked on air, cheeks flushing. “Yes, of course. Apologies.” He paused and did a little mental math, taking in the livid expressions on his clients' faces, and also the fact that they seemed in no mood to bargain. “Three thousand berries.”

The expected lashing out, followed by heated bartering, never came. Sanji only reached into his coat pocket and slipped out the appropriate amount of paper slips, slamming it all down on the wooden stand. The vendor’s mouth was agape as he scrambled to pick it all up, absolutely ecstatic at the course of events. “Lovely doing business with you!”

You held back from spitting out what you really wanted to say, instead turning and shoving the tower of crates over, sending them all crashing to the ground. A lid popped off and sent several copies of a supposedly one-of-a-kind bracelet across the market ground (a young woman in the business of purchasing one scoffed and swiftly swept away).

Together, you and Sanji left the scene and the vendor in hindsight, a cramped little crate in the arms of your husband.

Sanji looked down at the crate, then back at you. Your face hadn’t lost that fuming sort of look all the way back to Cocoyashi. “Darling?”

“Hmm?” You blinked suddenly, as if waking up from a bad dream. “Sorry. What?”

“Are you all right?”

You puffed out a sigh. “I’m fine.” Casting the crate a look, “Just wallowing in my hypocrisy.”

“Someone will be happy, though,” Sanji laughed.

You reached Nojiko’s house to find it empty, save for the sleeping form of your host in the dark of her bedroom. Sanji set the crate on the kitchen table and only then did you plop down and run your ahnds through your hair. “I’m too impulsive.”

Sanji came up behind your chair and kissed your head. “No. Just passionate.” He nosed your hair. “I thought it was sweet.”

“Sweet or not,” you started, “we’re down three thousand berries and up one… tiger cub.”

Sanji dropped down to be eye level with the opening of the crate. “I think he’s cute.”

Your husband softened his eyes and inched his hand forward, unthwarted by the cub curling away from his reach. “Dearest, grab some dried tangerines, yeah?”

Choosing to humor him (do tigers even like tangerines?), you rounded the table and swiped a few dried slices form the bowl on the counter. Sanji bounced on his heels like a kid on Christmas, slipping a slice through the bars and waiting. To your great surprise, only seconds passed before the cub lunged forward and took the slice in his little jaws.

Sanji laughed, bright eyes darting up to you. “He likes it!”

You set a hand on his shoulder and leaned down to peer in on your new friend, a grin tugging at your lips. Those little yellow eyes blinked widely as he swallowed all of the treat, a low gurgle signaling his request for more.

Nami and Dyla returned three hours later, your daughter perched on her aunt’s shoulders. Luffy and Chopper were right on their trail after meeting them at the docks, Usopp met up with them on the trail to the orchard, and Zoro appeared somewhere between the docks and the house having little to say about how he got there.

The door swung open and the lot was faced with a peculiar sight; you and Sanji on Nojiko’s couch, which wouldn’t have been odd at all if it weren’t for the tiger curled up on Sanji’s lap.

Nami’s jaw was on the floor, her eyes filled with mirth. She met your eyes and couldn’t hold back her laugh. “That isn’t compromise. That’s conceding.”

Rolling your eyes, you defended weakly. “Plans changed.”

Dyla slid from Nami’s shoulder in one swift motion, on trepid feet as she approached the couch. Her eyes flickered from you and her father before landing on the cub. “Mom?”

“Yes,” you playfully exasperated. “He’s ours.”

She hesitated, eyes widening when the cub yawned, showing off his little fangs. Sanji, barely able to hide his smile, nodded to the bowl on the table. “Bring ‘im a tangerine, love.”

Scrambling to do as he asked, she came back with the whole bowl in hand as the group settled in around the kitchen. Nami hopped onto the table as Zoro leaned beside her, the pair watching on in mixed awe and hilarity.

Zoro scoffed as Dyla squealed at the feel of the cub’s sandpaper tongue on her hand. Despite the apparent smile on his face, he declared to Nami, “If I ever start gettin’ domestic, slap me.”

Nami decided to keep to herself that she knew for a fact Zoro learned to cook just to ensure Luffy ate more than raw materials three meals a day, and that the white powder under his jaw was definitely flour from making pancakes that morning. She pat his shoulder with a shake of her head. “Sure thing, mosshead.”

They tuned back into the conversation just in time to hear Dyla scratch at the cub’s head and announce for them all to hear, “His name is… is… Strawhat!”

The only one to humor the name at all was Luffy, who jumped over to kneel beside Dyla as if he only just tuned into what was happening, his hat hung on the back of his neck. You chuckled wryly. “You sure? You can think of something—”

“Strawhat.” Dyla crept closer to the little tiger, locking eyes with the creature and having some sort of surreal connection only a child could understand. “His name is Strawhat.”

Strawhat mewled as if to agree, pawing at Dyla’s pigtail.

“He’s really cute!” Luffy bellowed through a laugh, waggling his fingers in front of the cub’s face and getting a swipe of claws in return. “Hey, easy, buddy!”

“Quiet down!” Nojiko appeared in all her sleepy glory, hands bracing herself on the door frames, and her eyes scanned over the room till she found Strawhat. She silently blinked and breathed till she shook her head and retreated into her room, murmuring under her breath.

Luffy broke the silent moment by tucking his hat on Dyla’s head, dragging another stifled laugh from her. Strawhat crawled toward her till they were nose to nose, and the cub sneezed so suddenly Dyla lurched backward. A laugh bubbled out of you, hardly hidden behind your hand as you leaned into Sanji. The day’s events quickly caught up to you as your eyes fluttered upon the scene of Luffy and Dyla playing with the tiger cub, now feeling safe and content in that little house with your daughter.

Sanji’s lips found your temple as you struggled to stay awake. Across the room, Zoro rolled his eyes while Usopp and Nami awed, and Chopper finally joined in on the fun and started up a conversation with the little tiger cub.

Safe to say Nojiko was irate by morning, but Dyla smile was positively brilliant.

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