wee-chlo - Tumblr blog

[wee-chlo]

this is the money chilchuck of good fortune, rb for wealth & union contracts to come your way

[wee-chlo]

he’s just vibing in the time quangle

[wee-chlo]

Is it just me or are the new tumblr users convinced there's a penalty of some kind for using this site like it's meant to be used?

[wee-chlo]

I just had to, it was a desperate need

From this

[wee-chlo]

Working at the sex shop really did rewire my brain. There was basically no topic that was too taboo to talk about, and what little propriety I’d had evaporated. I’d be out walking and chatting with friends about erotica I’d had to read that day only to be shushed and realize people were staring at me.

It always struck me as a little bit silly but I learned to curb myself for others comfort levels. Mostly.

But I have one distinct memory of decorating holiday cookies with my parents and my grandmother. My mom had worked in a sex shop back in her day, and I never hid my line of work from my family, so I was telling a work story.

I was conscious that my dad was slightly more sensitive, so I was using pretty broad descriptions, but I happened to mention silicone lube and my nana asked, “What’s that?”

I went into full sales mode. Focused on the little reindeer cookie I was decorating I started info dumping, “Oh, it’s pretty great. Water based lubricants get absorbed through vaginal mucous membranes, but silicone is too dense and our body can’t absorb it the same way. So once you apply some silicone you never have to worry about chafing, and a little goes a long way. It’s especially popular with older women, because they start producing less natural lubricant and absorb water based lubes so quickly.”

There was a silent beat after this statement.

I looked up.

My mom and grandmother were looking at me with rapt attention, and I belatedly realized I was addressing two older women who probably would welcome extra lubrication.

And then there was my dad, blushing so pink with embarrassment that I thought he was about to faint.

“I can talk about something else,” I offered in apology to my dad.

“Like hell! He can go in the other room, tell me more!” My nana declared. My dad scampered off to busy himself in another room while I answered their questions and talked about brands and pricing.

I slipped them each a small bottle of silicone lube for the holidays.

[wee-chlo]

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

[wee-chlo]

motherfucker be like 'honk shew honk shew mimimimimimi" when he sleepin

[wee-chlo]

Mel was born and Zagreus was immediately like "everyone shut the fuck up, I love her so much, I love her, I would die for her, I would kill for her, I'm never gonna shut the fuck up about this ever; this is my new best friend and we're gonna kick so much ass"

And Hades breathed a tiny sigh of relief because there was always the fear that history would repeat but of course not, it was silly to even imagine such a thing

[wee-chlo]

Yeah, like, I view Cassandra's portfolio as the concept of like... things not being certain, but that's okay.

A direct response to Helio/Sol being like "if you don't 100% buy in, you're damned".

Instead its "seek, and doubt, and wonder, and question. That's okay."

i cannot explain how much kristen needs to change her marketing tactic

she keeps going around and saying that cassandra is the goddess of mystery and doubt and the night, but thats not quite true. cassandra is the goddess of finding safety in the unknown. of not being afraid of doubt.

she is the belief that even if you don't know where you are or what to do, if you are lost and alone in a dark forest, there will be something on the other side, and all you have to do is get there. Cassandra is the goddess of staring into the cold, uncaring void and feeling a warm hand clasp your own, of a whisper in your ear saying youre going to be okay. you aren't alone. it is going to be scary and hard and uncertain, but you will never be on your own because i am here with you. you will never be lost because i know where you are

[wee-chlo]

if you opened discord’s april fools day loot boxes how long did it take you to get all the items? it took my friend 18 boxes but me 65 and i want to see how bad my luck is

[wee-chlo]

This exact holiday combo post can only happen once every 33 years.

[wee-chlo]

It's gonna be such a funny mess when Donald Trump dies of a stroke on April 1st, 2024.

Naturally everybody will think it's fake because of the date only to lose their minds (both positively and negatively based on their opinion of trump) when realizing it's real

There will be massive celebrations in the streets and on social media and lots of predictable "don't speak ill of the dead" discourse about those celebrations

Weird evangelicals will pull some weird number trick talking about how Jesus was conceived on April 1st and that makes Trump a sort of messiah and people will make fun of that

The Republicans (after they're done with the faux-sadness and faux-outrage) will stomp over each other to be his successor but none of them will succeed. They'll tear each other apart and have no single nominee for the November elections.

There will be discourse about if Biden and the living former presidents should go to his funeral (they won't, he was a traitor insurrectionist)

The Ukraine-Russia War immediately goes in favor of Ukraine as morale in the Kremlin is reduced. China similarly backs off from its threats on Taiwan.

Ten thousand new memes are made, some sticking around for years to come.

Not a month later a bunch of unofficial biographies of Trump hit the bookshelves, many with new details about just how awful he was.

[wee-chlo]

MY CHILDREN

To the left: Everill Craven, a Caerlinian exile and former noble of the famed Clan Fìreanaích, targeted for unknown reasons by the Archdruid of Caerlin and framed for a murder he only kinda-sorta committed. Currently the beleaguered Token Adult in a trio of Pugnacious Posties who are secretly looking into a series of terrorist attacks on behalf of a local lord. Level 5 Fighter/Level 2 Barbarian

To the right: Drenil "Ranger" Tashasdottir, a fey-touched member of the Northern Herd, a nomadic tribe of indigenous centaurs, refugee humans, and dwarven political exiles. Currently on a quest to get her centaur brother's "Top part" back (it makes only slightly more sense when described literally any other way). Level 7 Ranger/Level 1 Tempest Cleric.

OC commissions for @wee-chlo!

[wee-chlo]

@winekita

Hey no joke this is the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me; I aspire to Brennan Lee Mulligan's level.

Alastor: If I ever express a single moment of weakness, I will simply die. I will expire. I will collapse in on myself like a dying star or a flan in a cupboard. I am the most brittle man who ever lived and the moment someone realizes that, I'll never recover. My whole sense of being relies on everyone having the exact opinion about me that I want them to have, all the time.

Charlie: ............. a really good investment for the hotel would be a therapist, I think.

That monologue is so perfect!😂😂😂

[wee-chlo]

My favorite image is Alastor being manhandled by women. With or without affection.

Rosie slings him around. Mimzy yanks the lanky bastard down to her level. I've seen animatics of Lilith grabbing him by the chin and making him meet her eyes.

Love it. Give me more.

[wee-chlo]

Alastor: Imagine experiencing a single moment of weakness. Couldn't be me. COULDN'T BE ME.

Imagine spending all your energy being cool and mysterious 24/7.

What an idiot have I mentioned I love him?

Idea came from a cool post @nouverx made about Alastor’s possible sleeping habits. 💕

[wee-chlo]

No exaggeration, I laughed so hard at the go-gurt one that I

A) wept

B) thought I pulled a muscle in my neck

C) still have not read it in its entirety because every time I tried, I laughed harder and I was getting lightheaded

Post corrections/clarifications are my favorite genre of humor: a compilation