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My starlic (garlic that I have been putting star-shaped stickers on while I scrapbook).

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self-care phrases to boost your confidence

this shit ain't nothin to me man

I'll fucking kill you

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if she’s your girl then who am i? what year is it? why cant i remember anything…

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YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE

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affirmation: nobody is going to shoot me for being awkward

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it's rotten work, but without the rot nothing can grow

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misspeaking slightly among friends and nobody notices but i immediately fumble off my ring, try to open a compartment in it, and drop it through a sewer grate where it washes out to sea and poisons an endangered fish

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This is my favorite stock photo guy He does everything

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thinking about how my parents did everything in their power to hide 9/11 from me as a child to the point of taking away my TV and preventing me from going outside so when we went to a 1-year anniversary church service about it in 2002 i thought the pastor was recounting the story from scripture and was like wtf how did i not notice there were planes in bible times that's crazy and then i went and pissed all over the church bathroom floor to test if i had free will

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castrated to meet you