welcome-to-ikea

[welcome-to-ikea]

Pov: Sun and moon find out you are touch-starved

Bonus:

[welcome-to-ikea]

reblog if your name isn't Amanda.

2,121,566 people are not Amanda and counting!

We’ll find you Amanda.

[welcome-to-ikea]

EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP SCIENTISTS AT THE SCHMIDT OCEAN INSTITUTE HAVE FOOTAGE OF A LIVE COLOSSAL SQUID FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑‼️🦑

[welcome-to-ikea]

i want to introduce you all to a project that is very close to my heart... or lack of one. anyway. for anyone who has ever wanted to play a poem. i'd like you to meet aromanticism

(link opens itch.io - she'll run on html in your browser! please be nice to her!)

[welcome-to-ikea]

Fucking wild to be teaching about Rosa Parks at the same time as a trans woman in Florida does an act of civil disobedience to use a women's restroom in the state capitol

[welcome-to-ikea]

Ok ok ok. Bear with me. aka-indulgence indulged (lol) my whims too much and kept giving me good ideas. Now my mind is whirring.

Bad guys Mafia AU, where Nightmare is the big boss, as per usual. However... secretly, Nightmare has been going undercover in the police force, using his shapeshifting powers to pose as a softspoken by-the-book skeleton monster who likes paperwork and does what he's told. He's VERY deep undercover, quietly working his way up the internal ranks, giving himself access to more and more important information like evidence and arrest records. 'Eos' (thank you @owl-bones for being great with names) is boring, hard working, devoted to his 9-5 desk job. Eos hates conflict and action and doesn't even know how to turn off the safety on a gun. Eos is so non-confrontational people barely remember his name or that he's there. Eos goes totally under the radar.

... Then, while undercover... he meets you. A plucky assistant, with big dreams of being a detective. He's suddenly unexpectedly smitten. Despite the 'boring' persona he's put on, he finds his affections clearly returned. You and Eos start up an extremely cute will-they-won't-they, an adorable office romance where the two of you gradually open up to each other. He finds out about your passion for bringing the rich and powerful to justice. You find out about his love of classical music.

Of course, in the meantime, you're trying to investigate this big scary 'Nightmare' guy. Perhaps you even sneak your way into one of his functions, much to Eos' dismay, determined to dig up dirt and bring down the unjust elite. Perhaps you end up having a one-on-one conversation with Nightmare... where you discover that (to your horror) Nightmare is clearly attracted to you. Even worse - you're attracted to him. The two of you have incredible chemistry like nothing you've ever felt. Nightmare is dangerous, seductive, evil, but you absolutely can't get enough of him. He's everything you tell yourself you're not allowed to want.

For you, it's a dramatic life-or-death love triangle. You're trapped between two sides of yourself; there's the safe and loving but 'boring' Eos, who represents a steady but unglamorous future. And then there's Nightmare, wealth and power, the monster that brings out the side of you no one else can. Eos loves you, but Nightmare knows you.

Nightmare? He's having the time of his life. He's found someone who loves him in all his forms, old and new. He gets the best of both worlds. Now, to find a way to bring you into the fold...

[welcome-to-ikea]

[welcome-to-ikea]

Dudes healthcare is so fake. My ADHD meds are $940 without insurance. But they gave me a website of "coupons" which straight up looks like a scam website, and I got it today for $60! Just a coupon from a random website and it was $900 cheaper. America, I am confusion!! America explain!!

[welcome-to-ikea]

[welcome-to-ikea]

Nobody even asked for this one

[welcome-to-ikea]

MAGA know they are inferior.

Anyone who has to negate black achievement is a loser. Complicit white people are bigger losers.

Charles Rogers represents all America. 🇺🇸

MAGA must disrespect black people. The racism feeds the myth of white superiority.

End the racism and the myth disappears.

[welcome-to-ikea]

*Something something* my favorite delicacy *something something* big men *something something* ehh idk what else to write here.

[welcome-to-ikea]

Water lore‼️‼️

[welcome-to-ikea]

I’m starting to sound like a nutcase at work because upper management keeps trying to implement AI programs and AI assistants and Chat GPT and my middle-of-the-road, don’t-infodump, don’t-engage response has been “I don’t like AI”, “I prefer to remain in control of my own tasks”, “I’d rather make my own mistakes”, and “I don’t trust any machine smarter than a toaster”

[welcome-to-ikea]

attached a rubber tube to my weed pen to cool it down but now it looks like a low budget scifi prop like i should be smoking this bullshit e-hookah in mos eisley