werrrrrd

[werrrrrd]

update on Charles xavier fic!!

Guess what you all! I just moved cross country! It's taken some settling in and situating but I think I'm in a good headspace for writing finally, thanks for the patience.

As promised, I will be finishing this fic, I've got two chapters all planned out in my head and I'm hoping to get them done and out in the next few weeks.

Thanks for the suppooort

[werrrrrd]

Bill Denbrough x reader

Summary: You had been pining after Bill for a while now, trying to keep your crush under wraps and not doing such a good job at it. Finally you can't bear the stolen glances and quick eye contact and you cave in to the urge to kiss him.

Warnings: swearing, implied underage drinking but none actually happening in the story, smooching and stuff

It had become a sort of ritual over the years.

Every Sunday, Bill would come to your family's house for dinner. It had happened the first time when Bill had mentioned to you that his parents hadn't had dinner together since they had lost Georgie. After a whole day of that fact gnawing at your conscience, you had called him up and invited him over to join you the next day. You tried to make it nonchalant, talking like your parents had come up with the idea or something, but the pause before his response had you thinking that maybe he knew. Still, a soft "okay" sounded through the phone and you broke out into a grin. After that it was every Sunday, even now that you were both 18 and ready to move to college.

"y/n! Bills here!" your little brother yelled out to you. A moment later, Bill was walking from the entryway to your kitchen/dining room with a small bunch of sunflowers in his hand. Your mother was first to greet him.

"Hi M-mrs, Y/L/N. I b-b-brought these for your table." Bill presented the flowers to her and she smiled appreciatively.

"you didn't have to do that," she said as she chopped up potatoes for the curry.

"Its n-nothing," he shrugged and smiled at her. You lifted yourself from the couch, leaving your siblings to watch the show on the TV.

"Hey," Bill smiled as you took the flowers from him and smiled back.

"was wondering when you would get here!" you called. You went to the kitchen to fetch a vase and filled it with water before setting it on the dining table. You smiled to yourself as you fussed carefully with the flowers, trying to spread them out evenly within the vase without ripping a pedal or breaking a stem.

"Yeah, s-s-sorry. Practice went long tod-day, I came as soon as I had a shower," His expression was pleasant as he watched you finish arranging the flowers with his hands resting on the back of a chair. A small blush rose to your cheeks as you were reminded of how perfect bill was.

He seemed to unknowingly prove it to you every time you and him or all the losers got together. How he always laughed at your jokes. How he did so well supporting the entire friend group, showing up to performances, games, or parties one of the losers was hosting/attending. Once he even came to your little sister's piano recital with a poster for her.

And he was a gentleman. He never stared when you and Bev were undressing to go swimming at the Quarry, even though sometimes you wished he was sneaking glances over at you in your underwear.

It almost agitated how flawless he was. If you hadn't known him for so long, you would have been suspicious of him, thinking maybe he had an angle or was just hiding his ugly personality really well.

But no, Bill was actually just perfect. And your crush, which you were constantly trying to snuff out, had only grown and grown.

You chatted for a while while your mom and dad finished up on dinner and he helped you set the table asking you thoughtful questions and making you laugh.

Finally all your siblings came to sit down and you began helping yourselves to a serving and digging in.

Your family was loud, with so many younger people in the house. Voices were shouting about every little thing. "ms.daily gave us dum dums at school today-", "Quit flicking your food at me or I'll shove your face into that rice and you'll-", "could someone please just pass me the salt!?"

You glanced over at Billy, slightly embarrassed even though he had seen this time and time again. You were grateful to see him laughing as your sisters threatened each other across the table.

The whole meal went by much the same way, Bill made sure to help clean up and thank and compliment your parents on the dish. Soon enough you grabbed his hand to sneak away while your siblings finished cleaning up and took him upstairs to your room where usually you played card games or listened to music. These moments were what you lived for. Something about the alone time with him was healing as well as exciting. Your heart always was going from a steady calm beat to a nervous fast thudding in your chest depending on how much bill was looking into your eyes or whether his hands were brushing against yours as you passed the cards to one another.

Tonight you did something different. You found yourself sitting criss cross on your bed, holding still as Bill drew you. He was just a few feet away, you could feel his warmth radiate off of him. His hair was all fluffed out and you fought the urge to smooth it out with your fingers. His eyes were shining from the twinkle lights you had hung up on the wall and the lamp on your nightstand. He was chewing his lip as he stared down at the drawing. Focused and calculated on where his pencil was touching the paper.

"s-s-stop, you keep turning y-your head!" he complained lightheartedly. Your eyes went wide, embarrassed that he had caught you staring. You laughed nervously, trying to hide it. Suddenly you felt his fingers on your jaw turning you back to where you had been, warm and gentle against your skin.

"b-better," he spoke softly. You blushed, harder than you probably ever had as you felt him draw back. Your skin tingled where his fingers had been and you felt your palms go sweaty, trying desperately to hide your crush that you felt was probably obvious to him by now.

"stay still, ok?" He laughed and you couldn't help but laugh too as you grimaced.

"yes, I'm sorry,"

"it's alright, I'm n-nearly done." He said. You heard him scribble beside you.

When he had asked to draw you you snorted. It took you a moment to realize he actually wanted to. That's when your heart rate picked up as it inevitably does. He was looking at you so earnestly and you felt butterflies in your stomach as he grabbed the pencil and notebook you had been using for homework earlier that day. He flipped to a new page and motioned for you to sit down, following after you and finding his spot on your bed. He laughed as you came up with a pose, flipping your hair around and smoldering. You felt your heart swell, the feeling you got when you made him laugh, never ever got old.

"no n-no no, do something nor-normal!" he had told you

"what? boo! that's boring" you argued laughing

"I want it t-to look like you do, like a c-candid. Just, I d-d-don't know! look out the w-window,"

you laughed and followed his directions turning your head to look outside at the darkening sky. Of course then you had drifted back to rest your eyes on him

And it was almost completely dark now that you had turned back to the window. You continued to think about Bill, your thoughts wandering to the couple times you had caught him looking over at you. Sometimes at group hang outs. You'd all be spread out in Mikes’ living room when his parents were gone, completely abandoning the movie playing on his TV to watch Eddie and Richie yell insults at each other instead. Nothing was more entertaining to you than those two. But while you were glancing between them both firing comebacks, you caught Bill's eye and checked a second time to make sure you hadn't been seeing things. It was then that he looked down at his hands in his lap and cleared his throat. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as the butterflies awoke in your stomach. You looked down into your lap too, convincing yourself that it was just a coincidence.

But several times since then it had happened again. At the Quarry, after a couple hours of swimming and playing chicken, you were getting out and wrapping yourself in a towel. Your teeth chattered, waiting to warm up in the hot sun. You smiled at the losers who were laughing at you shivering. Stan came over and threw his towel over your head, rubbing it around to try and get some of the cold water out of your hair and when he pulled it off, of course your hair was left in a rat's nest, sticking out oddly every which way. The whole group burst into cackling and howling and you laughed along with them. Again your eyes caught Bill who was smiling at you fondly. Unlike the others who clearly thought you looked hilarious, it seemed as if he thought you looked adorable and you felt your cheeks burn at his gaze. This time you didn't wait for him to look away and did so yourself, patting your hair down with a small smile on your lips.

Once at a party you and Bev and Ben were dancing in the living room before you had even had any alcohol. Still you were going hard and you had started sweating being close to all these bodies. From the kitchen you had made short eye contact with Bill multiple times now. You wondered if you looked silly dancing so aggressively or maybe he was making sure you didn't get trampled by the sweaty people surrounding you. But still you felt your heart rate spike, feeling his attention on you that whole night.

And now you were snapping back into reality and realized you didn't hear his pencil scribbling anymore. You turned your head to look at him to see what was the matter only to find him staring at you already.

Your breath caught and your lips parted at the affectionate expression on his face. His eyes dropped to your lips briefly before he heard you suck in a small breath

He seemed to realize you were looking at him now with a start.

"y-you moved," he said, noting that you had broken your pose again

"you stopped drawing," you responded

He cleared his throat and looked down at his drawing. It could have been the lighting but you thought maybe you saw his ears go pink.

"yeah, well I f-f-finished" he told you.

"really? let me see!" you moved from criss cross to kneeling and craning your neck to get a peek at his drawing. He giggled at you and turned the notebook around revealing his masterpiece.

And masterpiece it was. Your jaw dropped as your eyes landed on an exact copy of your face. Except, not really. You noticed that Bill had taken the liberty of making you quite a bit prettier.

"Wow," you said in awe, "it's an amazing bill! holy shit!" you grabbed the notebook to look at it closer. His hand raised to scratch behind his ear as he smiled nervously.

"tha-anks,"

"Thank you, for making me super attractive!" you laughed and looked from the notebook to him. His eyebrows furrowed and eyes widened slightly.

"What d-d-do you mean?" he asked and looked at the drawing too, trying to see what you were seeing.

"Bill, you made me absolutely gorgeous in this," You rolled your eyes lightly and chuckled.

"n-no I didn't, you ju-just look like that,"

You let out a laugh before stumbling. You cleared your throat, trying to recover.

"you- come on... I mean..." you reasoned, motioning to the drawing. Your face in the picture was stunning. Your eyes sparkled and you had such a nice expression on your face. Your lips, the most detailed part of the whole sketch, looked delicate and elegant. He even added the few little freckles on your skin that you always forgot were there. 

"Y-Y/N, I'm s-serious." your breath hitches at the intense look he's giving you.

"I- uhhh, well thank you I guess."

"y-you d-d-dont believe it?" He asked, pulling the drawing from your hands and setting it aside. You followed his actions, nervous and confused.

"not really no," you grimace-smiled at him trying to laugh off your nerves. Your throat went dry as his knees touched yours realizing how near he was suddenly and confusion surfaced in your mind cause you couldn't remember him moving closer. Your heart hammered in your chest and you could feel it throughout your entire body.

"Y/N, you're th-the p-p-prettiest girl I've e-ever seen." He said, his head tilting down just slightly and he looked at you through his lashes, doing his best to look as sincere as he was. You opened your mouth to speak but were not sure what to say so you just watched what he did. He was looking at you in the soft lighting and you chewed your lip because his lips suddenly looked so soft. 

You couldn't stop yourself as you moved closer to him, eyes flitting across his face trying to gauge his reaction before you committed fully. A flash of shock washed over his face but was gone in a moment as if it wasn't ever there and in the next second his lips were on yours. 

They were soft, softer than you thought. And they moved against yours stiffly at first until it melted into something much more natural and you let out a breath you hadnt meant to hold. Your hands went up and thumbs came to stroke his cheekbones, suddenly realizing that he was letting you touch and kiss him and taking full advantage. You sat up to get better leverage and deepened the kiss causing a soft groan to sound from his throat. Your head spun as his hands came to your waist and pulled you closer. Hot breaths mixed in the air and you felt your mind fogging more and more as the kiss intensified. Your hands slipped to his hair and your fingers ran through the short strands near the nape of his neck. He took his turn then to sit up, his knees slotting around each of yours and pulled as much of you as he could until you were flush against him. You could feel his heart thudding in his own chest and one hand came to clutch at his tee-shirt trying to touch him as much as possible.

You could not believe what was happening. Bill was kissing you, and dammit he was a good kisser. You felt yourself reeling a little too hard so you pulled away to catch your breath. Bill's lips chased yours briefly before his hands slid to your hips and he let out his own shaky breath and rested his head on your shoulder. You breathed hard trying to ground yourself for a little while. Soon enough Bill sat up and looked you in the eyes again.

“I like y-you so b-bad,” He confessed sweetly, looking nervous again. His hair was all ruffled from your kiss and this time you went ahead and ran your hands through it to flatten it out. His eyelids fluttered at your touch but stayed open and on your face, watching you carefully.

“Thank god,” you smiled, acting like you hadn't been nearing a panic attack just a second ago. “I really like you too, if that isn't obvious” 

Bill chuckled and took your hands in his pulling you close for another intense kiss.

After that Sunday dinners became more than just Sunday dinners but after school study sessions, picnics, walks around the neighborhood, all ending in heated makeout sessions and swollen lipped grins.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.15!! whoop whoop

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

AN: it was a long wait! thanks for being patient, most likely there will only be 2-3 parts more for this story. I'm not gonna lie I was literally drifting in and out of consciousness while I was doing a quick edit of it so the writing might be worse than usual and there are likely some typos. I would do it again but I don't feel like it haha. But its another little soft domestic life sort of chapter with just a bit of TRUAMA in the middle so enjoy that.

To be able to care for someone the way I wished someone had cared for me when I had been with Shaw was an extremely healing experience. I felt constantly like I was floating, the weight I had held for many many years gone. Charles was of course perfect, always checking on me. The other day I walked into my room to find a book placed on my bed, a collection of short stories. A note was attached that read.

“Ive been meaning to read this for a while now but it seems I never have the time. Perhaps you can recount the stories to me if they catch your interest? - Yours Charles”

That night I stayed up late. I read an entire third of the book and when I ran into Charles the next day, I couldn't help but thank him with a small peck on his cheek. I told him what the stories were about and admired the way he blushed at me. 

Unfortunately there is always something that still needs addressing. After resting for a good few weeks I felt completely recovered from my injuries. Charles and I were sitting on either end of the couch in the lounge, our legs tangling in between us. Charles set his book down and looked at me. I felt curiosity rise in his emotions. Curiosity mixed with reservation. He had a question that was being stifled, and I did not like it. 

“Go on and say it.” I watched him. He opened his mouth, shutting it when he couldn't think of the words. I sat up getting slightly impatient, but I waited a second to let him arrange his words, a trait I was slowly picking up from him. 

“Youre mutation… its a sort of traumatic trigger for you, yes?” he asked.

Now it was my turn to process my thoughts. I hadn't been expecting that question, and I realised why he had been suppressing it earlier. It was a sensitive subject I suppose and he didn't want to upset me.

“I… I think so, yeah.” 

“Hmm…” Charles said, his hand on his chin speaking slowly. “Would you be open to trying some things, maybe a sort of exposure therapy? Something to help you create a healthy relationship with your powers? Only if it interests you though, you don't have to do anything you don't feel like doing,” He reminded me.

I smiled to myself as I thought for a moment “...explain what exactly you mean” my voice was not accusatory so he took that as a good sign and went ahead to continue.

Charles closed his book entirely and set it on the coffee stand next to us. 

“I believe every mutant is blended with their mutation, it is a part of their identity, intermingled with the rest of who they are and that connection can never be severed, even when they don't use their abilities. It is a thing to be celebrated, that connection. I want you to be able to embrace that part of yourself, I don't like that you've been made to feel that your mutation isn't yours, that it was a tool for someone else. I want you to reclaim it as your own.” He said softly. 

My heart picked up slightly at what he had said. Nerves and anxiety arising within me. He was right, even if I didn't use it ever again, my mutation was a part of who I was that could not be ignored or repressed. And the things that had happened because of my mutation were not things I looked fondly back on. My mutation was still Shaws, even with the good things I had done with it, healed raven, helped Charles, It was not mine. After years of not having control over what I did with my powers, in my mind they became someone else’s. Charles was reminding me that they were mine and that I needed to work to heal that relationship between me and my mutation. 

I ran my hands through my hair and down my face. My eyes flitted as I thought, before coming back to Charles. 

“Im willing to try whatever you think may help.”

Charles' blue eyes lit up, slightly surprised. 

“Are you sure? You know that its only if you want to, if you feel like its-”

“-Yes im sure charles! I trust you.” I interrupted, my voice firm. Charles stopped speaking to look at me intently, observing my expression as closely as he could from where he was. This didn't seem to be enough so he sat up until we were only a foot or two apart, his face becoming the only clear thing in my frame of vision. It seemed to get clearer the longer I looked at it, everything past it a blurry mess. His eyebrows furrowed and his finger tips came to rest on my cheek making me shiver inwardly. The smallest smile made its way to his face and he let out a spout of air from his nose, his chest releasing tension.

“Alright dear. Thank you… for trusting me.”

We began small, Charles instructed me to feel the people around me. This wasn't much of a challenge for me. It had always been a natural thing for me to do, I did it even when Shaw wasn't around I would use my powers to feel the warmth in the blood of everyone near, how they were feeling, the motions they were doing. 

I felt around through the house, I felt people in their rooms, some napping, some working out, some just sitting. I felt a calm rush through me at the restfulness of the mansion. No one seemed to be on edge, all recognised that they were safe in this place with these people. No one's heart was hammering in anger, no one's fists were clenching preparing to strike. 

“You seem to be handling it well.” Charles noted.

“This part of my abilities is different from the rest. I think it's because I'm not controlling anything, just observing it in its present state. Kind of like your telepathy in a way, I don't feel like I'm endangering anyone by letting myself sense their presence and the space they hold.” I had my eyes closed and my hands resting in my criss crossed legs. When I opened them, Charles was smiling softly at me. 

The next day we were in Charles study. I was sitting in on a game of chess between him and Erik, not paying much attention. I heard Erik mumble a quick, “check…mate” before Charles chuckled lightly and tpok Erik's hand to shake over the table. 

“How has your training been, May?” Erik asked without looking at me. 

“We haven't done much but it's good so far.” I replied

Erik's eyes flicked to Charles who stared back with something in his eyes. His elbows rested on the table and hands clasped together in front of his mouth obscuring most of his face from me. He seemed to be reading Erik, though I couldn't tell if it was with his powers or just by observing his expression. Charles let out a sigh before leaning back in his chair and looking over at me.

“Do you think you're ready for the next step, perhaps?”

I tilted my head and pursed my lips, slightly dreading it. But I knew that I wanted to do this, that it was important to me. I think maybe, some of my will to do this sourced also from Charles, I could feel in him a desire to make things better for me and help me heal from my past and that desire was seeping into me, not that that was a bad thing. 

‘I think so,”

Soon the chess table was set to the side and I was sitting in Charles’ seat, Erik across from me. His eyes were like steel. I wasn't sure if he was trying to be intimidating but I didn't succumb to it regardless. My back was straight and my hands were firm in their placement on the table. Charles was standing to the side with his arms crossed instructing me to tap into Erik's blood and feel it within him. 

I felt it pulsating, a strong heart beat, a quick and efficient system. I almost rolled my eyes. Of course Erik's blood health was top notch, this guy was practically a machine. 

Charles laughed next to me, my thought sounding into his head by accident. 

“Right, let's try something small first. How about moving his hand, does that sound alright?”

I nodded and Erik placed his hand on the table where I could see it. I felt my heart beat quicken slightly and a headache budded just at the thought of controlling his hand, but one glance at Charles and I felt my resolve increase. I took a quick deep breath in and out and flicked my finger up, a motion to make the blood in his hand lift.

His hand remained still on the table. 

I chuckled a little bit. “Are you resisting?” I said to him, I figured he was just trying to lighten the mood, though unlike Erik, was appreciated. 

He shook his head at me, not a single bit of humor in his eye. I furrowed my eyebrows and did it again, a small confused smile on my face.

 I did it again. This time my whole hand came up in an attempt to guide Erik's hand to lift. Not even a tendon twitched, nothing happened. He wasn't resisting, I could feel it, no extra blood was being sent to his arm to fight me off. It just wasn't moving. My smile quickly faded

My heart beat quickened and I pulled my hands off the table to grip the arms of the chair I was sat on. My eyes flashed up at Charles and then quickly around the room. I felt the panic rise within me, flashes of Shaw in my mind, reminding me of what was the punishment for when I didn't use my powers the way I was told to. Although I knew I was safe here, fear washed over me in remembrance of when I wasn't.

Charles felt the rise of emotions in me and came to kneel beside me, close to eye level, his hands going to my shoulders. His sudden movement made me jump and my hands twitched to hold him still, He froze mid-movement and my whole body tensed. Our eyes locked, both wide and confused. My head was spinning and my headache started to gnaw at my skull. Quickly though, I came to my senses and let him free. He dropped and regained control of his body. 

I swallowed thickly and put my head in my hands apologizing

“It's alright love, It's okay.” Charles backed up just slightly. I fought back tears, not wanting to feel weak. He ignored the subtle quiver in my chin and stared as I ran a palm over my forehead to brush the hair out of my face, his hands clasped firmly on the chair. 

Erik across from us had his brows furrowed and watched me scrutinizingly. 

“Its triggered by your emotions then, fear probably, maybe pressure.”

Charles hummed, still focused on me. I focused on getting my breathing under control, not much processing what Erik had said, not really sure if I had even heard him right with the blood rushing in my head deafeningly loud. 

After a few moments, I calmed down and felt a wave of exhaustion following my adrenaline rush. 

“Maybe you should rest. We can try again tomorrow if you're feeling well enough,”

I nodded weakly. Charles stood and gently helped me stand before leading me out of the door and down the hallway to my room. On the way there I felt Charles' emotions turn to guilt. He was afraid he had pushed me too far too soon. It was making his gut tighten and his hands that were being used to carefully guide me to my bed shook ever so slightly.

“Im… im ok, really.” I put a hand on my chest where my heart was before I had sat down on my bed. 

“No, you're not. I'm sorry, I need to be more careful with this-” “Charles please! I'm alright, it's not your fault.” I sat down on my bed and patted the spot next to me. He looked at where I patted guiltily and then looked back at me. I didn't understand how someone's eyes could always be so starry and captivating. Every time he looked at me it was like his eyes were drawing me in, making me lose balance. 

He let out an exhale and took a seat next to me. He held his arms awkwardly close to himself, almost afraid to touch me. I realized he didn't want to scare me, not out of fear of what I would do, but fear that he would hurt me. I turned in my spot to face him, he didn't meet my gaze but I could tell he was listening.

“Dont you dare.” I spoke sternly

“What?” He looked at me wide eyed

“Blame yourself for that, for my reaction.” I said “That had nothing to do with you, you know that.”

“You panicked! I shouldn't have come at you like that, I should have taken it slower,” It was almost as if he was trying to convince me why I should be angry. I wasn't liking it one bit. Why was he blaming himself for something that wasn't under his control?

“No!, you did nothing wrong, I thought I was ready, and maybe I wasn't but that's not your fault.”

Charles sighed quietly. “I just want you to feel safe,”

I laughed making him furrow his eyebrows

“I feel safe Charles. Safer than I have been, probably ever. And the only reason for that is because of you. If it weren't for you I'd still be with Shaw, or dead in that damn parking garage.” I paused to make sure he understood what I was saying. “To be honest, if that had been anyone but you coming towards me, likely I would have sent them flying through the wall.” 

He smiled a little bit at that. 

“I just want to be sensitive, I don't want to rush you into anything,”

“I don't feel rushed in the slightest, and honestly, with Shaw still out there, maybe I need to be a little more rushed.” 

Charles shook his head at me looking serious. “I told you not to worry about that,”

“I don't think I can not worry about it, I'm sorry. But I want to be ready for when I'm needed, and even if I'm not needed, I want to help. I want to be a good person, on the goodside ”

“You are on the good side now, but you've always been a good person.” Charles whispered. My eyes filled with tears at the words that he said. I almost felt my heart being stitched back together, something deep within me filling with love. I chewed my lip to keep it from trembling. My eyes shut and let my chin drop as the tears dripped and slid hot tracks down my cheeks. 

I felt Charles, his hands twitched in his lap, the urge to reach for me strong but the worry of scaring me again making them stay put. I opened my eyes to stare at him again, his expression torn.

“You can touch me… please touch me.” I cried softly. 

His face crumpled and he immediately came closer, his fingers wiping the tears from my cheeks before stroking my hair back and cradling my head in his shoulders where I cried out the emotions of the day. He kissed the side of my head, grounding me to him. My arms wrapped around him, his presence making everything feel like it was going to be ok. 

After completely wetting the shoulder of his shirt with tears I pulled away. He watched me closely, about to ask if I needed anything before I grabbed him gently by the head and brought our lips together. 

He let out a small gasp before melting into me. My lips were wet and salty with tears, tears that were still coming. The emotion in the kiss was making my head spin, my gut swirling with affection. He soon pressed his hands to my face pulling us apart so we could catch our breaths, and rested his forehead against mine. 

“You should go to sleep, rest up, Can I get you some water?” Charles whispered, his hands slid from my face to my neck where he lightly stroked my collarbones. I nodded softly, my eyelids drooping. He let out a soft “Okay” before leaving me to get undressed and into bed. When he returned I was already nearly asleep despite still being sat up against the head board. 

“Here darling.” he put the glass in my hand which I took a few gulps of before setting down on my nightstand to finish tomorrow. I snuggled into bed, slipping down until my head was on the pillow. Charles pulled the covers up to my chin and stroked my face from where he was sat on the side of my bed.

“Thank you, you always take care of me.” I whispered, my eyes watching his every move, soaking in the tender look in his eyes. The calmness of the mansion once again washed over me before my eyes drifted shut and I sighed feeling warm and comfortable. The gentle touch of his fingers the last thing I felt before I fell asleep.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC Pt.14

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

AN: Thank you for waiting for the next part! I hope you are having a happy holiday season and that you like this chapter, its a bit more fluffy than usual so that's a win. There most likely wont be more than one or two more parts to this story. I really hope youve enjoyed it so far even though my writing could be much better and I'm kinda half ass-ing it. Oops. Anyways, feel free to ask any questions about the story, I'm happy to answer them, although I can't guarantee I'll have a good answer.

When I woke I was alone. The room was large, tall windows lined the wall to my left, it was dark outside. The bed I was in was big, bigger than I had ever slept in before, sheets tucked carefully around me and my head propped up just the right amount. I took a moment to come to my senses. I couldn't quite remember what had happened, things were fuzzy. I reached for my temples to massage away the headache only to find a bandage wrapped snugly against my head and suddenly I remembered the gunshot. My eyes closed, reliving the moment.

Before long I could feel Charles check on me through his mind from somewhere else in the mansion. I felt him startle slightly as he noticed I was awake and only a few moments later he pushed open the door and came to my bedside. 

“How are you feeling love?” 

I looked at him, a grin forming on my face. He looked at me perplexed for a moment before the smile spread to his own face. The headache became a dull background noise as I thought about where I was, and who I was with. For so long I had been with Shaw, doing whatever it was he wanted me to do. Now I could do what I wanted to do. And I knew what it was that I wanted to do at this very moment. 

I sat up, suddenly feeling a great amount of adrenaline caused by my new found freedom. Charles watched me intently as I placed my hands on the sides of his face and brought my lips to his, his eyes widening briefly before they closed in bliss. Our brains hummed at the contact and proximity. I felt as if I was sealing my fate with this kiss, confirming, signing even, onto my new life. So it was firm and secure, nothing about it was timid or unsure. Like I said, I knew what I wanted, and finally I had the choice to do it. And he was kissing back just as firmly as I was, leaning into it and angling his head to where he could move against me just right.

Charles broke the kiss with a laugh. 

“I'm glad to see you're well” He was blushing ever so slightly. It took a great deal of effort not to jump him right then, but I knew what I needed was to rest a little more and perhaps kissing was too much for now. 

The gunshot, I could feel with my powers, had only skimmed the side of my skull, not causing any serious damage other than bleeding. I could feel the wound had passed through my head completely so the bullet was not lodged inside. I could also feel the wounds in my neck from the shock devices had been stitched up and cleaned with utmost care. My heart swelled. 

Charles hand stroked mine and we held each other's eyes for a moment, feeling the stillness that Charles’ proximity always caused. I felt his presence grounding me and making me feel at peace before he spoke.

“I cannot believe the strength you possess."

“What do you mean?”

“Shaw, I know how terrible he was to you. Going through your memories, I could feel the terror and anger you had carried of him, and I understood the urge to kill him.” His eyes grew wide as he explained. “Often it's all consuming. Hell, even I wanted to kill him just thinking about what he had done to you. But somehow…” He paused “you saw through it all and realized that it wouldn't fix things.”

I tensed as I processed what he said. I had never felt strong before. Especially not when it comes to resisting urges or controlling my temper. Nor resisting Shaw's influence. My parents had scolded me hundreds of times in my childhood and Shaw had done more than scold me for the same. I had never felt that I had had any control over that sort of thing. But Charles was right. I had seen through it all, the fury and the blinding maddness, when it had mattered most. I wouldn't have felt better, if I had killed him. And I realized how proud of myself I should be, how strong I had to be to be able to do that. 

“Thank you for talking me out of it, I don't think I would have been able to think clearly if you hadn't reminded me that I had a choice.”

Thinking back, I knew that my past self would have been furious with me for not killing him. For the longest time that was all I wanted, to kill Shaw, for everything he had done. To avenge Lou, to pay him back for every kid he had killed or tortured, forced to do his dirty work for him, including myself. But I knew now that my freedom from Shaw meant that nothing I would do from that moment on would ever be for or because of him, not even if it meant revenge. I was free of him. 

Charles shook his head at me. “It was you, you came to the decision all on your own,” 

I smiled softly at him again before I remembered Shaw. Unfortunately he was still a problem wasn't he?

“How are we going to catch him?” I asked

“I don't want you to worry about that right now,” Charles rubbed his thumb on my hands.

“But I am worrying,” Charles sighed, “the FBI are tracking him, they will notify us of when were needed, for now you should rest, and the rest of us will keep training”

I nodded in understanding. The only thing we could do is wait and prepare. I hoped that Shaw would be stopped before he started the war. I felt sick, thinking about the hunger for power he had within himself, and the fact that he would do anything to claim that power, including killing millions of people in a war. Charles stopped my train of thought before it became overbearing, he kissed my hand softly and brushed a few hairs from my face smiling at me. 

“Youve done enough, you don't have to do anything more.”

“I want to, I want to help, I couldn't live with myself if Shaw got what he wanted.” Charles looked at me. I could feel his gut tighten and an emotion rise within him. Concern.

“Ok, you can help if that's what you want. But know that this isn't your responsibility, you don't have any wrongs to right. You've helped us more than you know.”

I lifted a hand to brush along the side of his face. He leaned into it. 

“I know, thank you.”

We sat like that for a moment before Charles seemed to remember the state I was in and started scrambling to help me, tucking in my blankets and trying to adjust my pillows.

“Can I get you anything? Tea? Run you a bath? Are you hungry?” 

My heart filled again, it felt good to be taken care of, I didn't think I could ever get used to it. 

“Yes, yes and yes” 

The best part was, I didn't feel selfish for asking for anything. The way Charles was looking at me was enough to convince me that I wasn't a burden for asking to be cared for. That he wanted to help me however he could, sincerely. While he was gone to grab me some food and brew me some tea, I let a few tears slip. I never thought this was possible, to be so happy. 

After a few weeks of staying in the mansion and healing, my bandages and stitches came off. While I had been in bed often I was being visited, mostly just by Charles and Raven. Erik came in once and I found out then that he had saved me. When Shaw had shot at me Erik had barely been able to stop the bullet from going right through my brain and in a fraction of a second had angled it to keep me from being killed. I stared at him wide eyed as Charles told me this. Erik stood a few feet away from the foot of my bed with his hands clasped behind his back and a humble, almost blank expression on his face. I barked out a disbelieving laugh that made Erik shoot me an odd look

“Sorry, I just” I composed myself “It could have been over, for me before it had even begun, my life I mean,” I pulled my head up to look at Erik again with a small grateful smile on my lips. “Thank you Erik, I mean it” 

He did not respond for a moment, and then the most odd thing happened. He smiled at me and said

“Congratulations May, you'd been under his command for far too long, it's past time that you made your own decisions” 

His words hit me in the heart and I thanked him again.

When he left, I looked at Charles incredulously. 

“What was that?” I asked as I laughed, “I had no idea he could smile” Charles laughed at that

“Eriks a good man. Stoic to most people, but once you're around him more you'll see he's got more personality than you'd expect.” 

After that I felt more at home, realizing I didn't have any enemies here. Most everyone liked me. Respected me greatly actually. I'd started hanging out with everyone while they conversed. Raven, after thanking me for saving her life, made sure I had been properly introduced to everyone and each of them welcomed me and told me that they were grateful for me switching sides since I had previously been a very effective enemy. Charles went out of his way to remind everyone I had never really been an enemy, that from the start I had helped them despite the dangers. He talked of me so fondly I couldn't help but fall a little bit in love. 

Often I found myself being as close to Charles as possible, I read with him in his office, ate breakfast seated beside him, stood by and watched as he helped to train his team. 

Once he called me over. 

“May, I think you may be of help right now, if you don't mind?” I smiled at him. Charles had been very sensitive over the last while on making sure I knew I had a choice. If I didn't want to do something I didn't have to and no one would punish me or be angry with me. Fortunately I really wanted to help in any way I could. I felt myself healing internally every time I helped Charles out because I knew it was for something good. 

I hopped off the stone wall I had been sitting on next to Erik as we watched and walked over to Charles. Alex was out in the yard on the gravel driveway. He had been struggling as he tried to control how powerful his blast was. Charles had told me some nights ago during his debriefing of each of the kids he was training that Alex was exceptional. His power was fascinating to Charles (as was each of the kids) and he was trying to come up with ways to help Alex control it better. He mentioned that Alex had struggled even just aiming when they had first started training together. Watching him now I couldn't believe that. Alex had shown a lot of growth especially for someone so young and with a mutation so incredibly powerful. Erik followed me as I came to stand beside Charles and Alex

“Thank you dear,” Charles said to me appreciatively for being willing to help. I smiled at him as he asked me something. “May, where do you feel your powers inside you when you use them?” Charles asked. I lifted my hands and looked at them

“My hands,” then my hands came and pressed against my chest where the blood pumped softly “and my heart i would say” 

“Good, where do you feel it Alex?”

“I don't know?! I just do it and it comes from where it comes from!” Alex was clearly frustrated. They had been at this for nearly an hour without much to show for it. Charles was unwaveringly patient. 

“Try,” Charles said. “Try and feel where it comes from as you form a blast.”

Alex took a shaky breath in before blasting at the target about 30 yards away. The blast was powerful, as usual. Too powerful, the target combusted and Hank, who was waiting to replace it, ducked for cover. 

“Uh, my stomach I guess.” Alex mumbled

“Right, that makes sense.” Charles replied, he looked at me momentarily and tilted his head, silently asking if I had any advice. I swallowed, unsure of how helpful I could be, worried that I might make things worse. Charles sensed my anxiety and put a comforting hand on my shoulder, communicating his confidence in me. Although this was much more Charles’ element, he felt assured that I had something valuable to teach, and I hoped that I could deliver

“When I was young, I didn't have much control over my power.” I started. Alex looked at me like a teenager would look at their teacher in class, reluctant but still listening. “Either because of my temper or because I really just didn't know how to control it. For me it was all about intention, what I willed the person I was controlling to do and why. Now… for you it's probably different because our powers aren't similar in that regard, you're not controlling anyone but yourself.” I paused to look at Charles to see if I was doing a good job. He was beaming at me, a bright smile at his face and his eyes fond and soft, making me blush deeply. I continued “maybe try… thinking of how strong you want the blast to be and why?” I questioned slightly. This was only a guess, but Chalres gave no indication that I was doing anything wrong so Alex tried it out. 

The blast was strong again. The new target Hank had set up blew up once more. 

“Nope,” Alex grunted out, still frustrated. I looked at Charles again to tell me what to do hoping he would take over. It hadn't worked so I assumed Charles was going to step in and fix it. But he just looked at me expectantly, making me swallow and make something else up.

“Ok that's fine, we can try something else. Maybe…. can you feel your plasma blast in your belly before it leaves you?” I asked 

“Um, a little bit I think.”

“OK, does it get bigger the longer you hold it or does it just blast once it gets to a certain size? Do you think you could try to release it before it gets to its full capacity?”

Alex thought for a moment. 

“... Im not sure” 

“Try it Alex," Charles said from beside me

Alex tries a few times, each one the same as the one before. He puts his face in his hands and scrunches up his nose angrily. I feel dejected too but Charles once again seems completely unphased signalling for me to try again. Erik next to me raises his eyebrows expectantly. I think for a moment before something Lou told me comes to mind

“How about you try putting some of the energy somewhere else? Take some of it from your stomach and use it elsewhere. I had a friend whose power would come over her sporadically when she didn't want it to. She could feel the energy forming, but before it happened she would do something else with it, like clench her fists or scream into a pillow” I said, thinking of the times when Lou would transform against her will. Sometimes, to transfer the energy, she would hit things, smash her hands against the wall, spattering blood often. It scared me but it scared me less than when she transformed and was punished by Shaw or one of the doctors there. I didn't mention that though, I didn't want Alex to resort to something that could harm him.

Alex turned back towards the fresh target, his fists clenching before he had even started his blast. The same thing happened, the target completely obliterated. Before he could get frustrated I butted in.

“You didn't take from the energy in your stomach, you just used your normal physical energy to clench your fists. You gotta feel it forming in your stomach and then take it from there to use elsewhere. You could yell too though,” I smiled “I doubt you would need to be quiet and use a pillow during a loud battle where you'll already be exploding things” 

Alex almost laughed. He shook his head before it could get anywhere though. To cover it up he took a deep breath and tried again. This time his fists clenched right before the blast came out and he let out a short grunt as the blast ripped from him. And it worked! The target didn't explode, it did go flying though, knocked back a good 20 feet from where it had been and caught fire, singeed where the plasma blast had made impact. Everyone took this as a victory though. Alex let out shout and pumped his fists in victory as Erik clapped him on the back, smiling again. Hank yelled from afar a congratulations to Alex and Charles laughed out pleased at the results. My heart beat a little faster, giddy that I had done a good job.

“Alright Alex, It seems I should be replaced as your trainer, clearly someone knows what she's doing much better than I do.” 

I smiled at him but shook my head “I don't know what I'm doing at all,” But I smiled fondly, Lou would be proud. 

That night as I ate dinner with Charles I could feel him watching at me intently. I could feel his emotions festering within him, he was convinced, sure of something, and of it glad too. I ignored it for a while, knowing that he wasn't intentionally sharing these feelings with me, but soon enough my curiosity became too much and my eyes landed on his. 

“What is it?” I asked, snapping him out of his daze gently. He clears his throat realizing he had been staring but doesn't seem too apologetic, not that I was mad about it. 

“Excuse me dear,” He pauses looking at me earnestly again “I just feel as though you were meant to be here, all this time” 

My heart settles again, my fingers flit against my lap. I realize with a start that it's because my power is having a reaction to Charles. The same way he has a reaction to mine. I can, in a way, feel what he's feeling, and him me. And in turn Charles causes my powers to flare up on their own, quieting our systems, and syncing up our heartbeats. He feels my realization and for what feels like the first time we acknowledge it.

“Its odd,” He speaks

“Hmm?”

“The way we are connected. I don't understand it entirely… or at all really.”

“Me neither,” I say. There's a brief moment of quiet “I don't think we have to though, maybe it's beyond us,” He tilts his head at me with a reverent expression on his face. 

“Your right…” His voice soft “I'm glad for it though. It's weird when you can read minds, it's a sensation that no one ever quite understands even if you explain it in detail, and even though you don't feel the full extent of it, It feels… less lonely to share a part of that power with you.” 

His admission makes me reach for him. In the privacy of his office, with our dinner plates abandoned, it feels like it's just us two in the world. We are fused to each other in a way that we cannot wrap our minds around. But nevertheless, we hold each other close and breathe each other in, thankful for it.

[werrrrrd]

When’s the next update? That cliffhanger is giving me anxiety! 😅

😭 probably not for a little bit, but likely before new years

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt. 13!!

AN: Istg May is like constantly being knocked out or is passed out or is having some sort of crisis! I'm sorry cause it's so annoying when the main character always be needing help but really this is the only way I can make the plot work the way I want it to. She honestly does need help since she's like being abused and forced to work for Shaw so it doesn't feel as bad as just like ‘oh I need help because im weak’ its like shes actually being effected by things that are out of her control and shes not weak shes being made to be weak. Like that's Shaw's way of controlling her. N E ways. Sorry about that, I just wanted to acknowledge it. Also AS USUAL there are plot holes in this chapter. LIke there are so many ways that they could have stopped Shaw and captured him and like also shaw wouldnt be stupid like that and come all the way to charles just to have a lil chat like mans would've blown that shit up, he wouldn't have gone there just to threaten them. Just ignore that as usual. I just want to put it out there that I'm aware and that I don't have the intention to make a perfect and well thought out plot because this is legit just fan fiction and it's not that serious. Sorry though, I hope you enjoy this chapter regardless. IT IS NOT THE END YET so dont FREAK OUT OR ANYTHING

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

When I awoke the action seemed to have already started. Only the smallest comfort of Charles’ connection to my mind pulled me out of unconsciousness. He must have felt me as we were coming because everyone was outside on the well manicured lawn with a good bit of distance between us and the mansion. I could feel the aftermath of the shocks, It made me feel as if my entire body was humming. I had been thrown over Riptide’s back, my arms hanging down bound together in cuffs that covered my hands and kept them restrained. Shaw didn't want me to use my powers and the cuffs proved it. Although I could still use my powers it wouldn't be as easy with them keeping my fingers locked in place. In this position I could feel that they had gone numb and there was blood flooding to my head making me feel dizzy and disoriented. It rushed past my ears muffling whatever was being spoken across the gap between me and Charles. 

“Are you alright?” his voice sounded clearly in my mind, he must have felt me wake up.

“Charles…” relief flooded through me. I was frantic to speak to him “god im so sorry, I didn't mean to show them where you were I swear- I got caught, I don't - I don't know how to fix this”

Charles didn't respond leaving me worried and afraid he was angry with me. It was justified for him to feel that way yet my heart threatened to break at the thought. I decided I needed to do something. I didn't have any idea how to stop this but I had to try to.

The first thing I did was take some of the blood out and spread it around my body so that I could hear and think properly. Then I listened.

“-and if you don't, I’ll kill her.” Shaw spoke not too far from me. I couldn't see anything except for the ground and Riptide's backside. My eyes widened as I realized that Shaw was trying to get them to surrender. And he was threatening my life to try and convince them. I could have laughed, I could have cried. Shaw thought that he could not beat them, not without me, which was comfort in and of itself. He knew that I would no longer help him like I had only months ago. That I would all out refuse, which was correct. He somehow didn't understand that this was much bigger than just me. Of course Charles wouldn't agree. Millions of lives were at stake, and if Shaw killed me that would be one less person who was against Charles. Why on earth did he think that this would work? I was unbearably relieved at how things were going so far. I didn't understand why Shaw hadn't just sent bombs to blow up the mansion with them in it. He liked to get the job done from afar. But this worried me just slightly, maybe he had a plan that I hadn't caught onto yet. 

“You need her. You won't kill her, not while she's still of use to you.”

 It was Erik who spoke. His voice was bitter. Even more bitter than when he talked to me before. I remembered when I had first seen him and the murderous look in his eye. I didn't realize it then but I could feel that same thing burning within me. I just hadn't done anything about it in so long. 

“Perhaps. Perhaps she's not as useful as she used to be. Not since her alliances have… switched” Shaw responded. 

Somewhere deep within me I could feel Charles' emotions subtly. He was worried. Of course he was, he was in danger. But what surprised me was that he was worried about me. Confusion flared within me. How could he be so good? So selfless? I wanted to kiss him and hold him again and again for even thinking of me in this moment. Or at all. I didn't feel the anger I had expected from him. Only concern and the urge to keep me safe. The belief that he was much too good for me and that I didn't deserve to have someone in my life as good as him consumed me. Selfishly, I hoped that Charles would never find out the truth. That I was tainted and dirtied by the blood I could control. My mutation, and the things I had done with it. The feeling of being cared for which he had again and again these past few weeks forced me to realize I could no longer live without it. After so long on my own, I had finally felt the embrace of someone who didn't want to harm me or use me, and the potential of losing that and being all by myself again nearly killed me. I couldn't even process my emotions, I just knew I had to figure out how to fix everything and get myself back to Charles. 

I concentrated as much as I could on riptide and slowed his blood so that his reaction to my movement would be too slow to stop me from slipping off his back and running a good ten feet away. Eyes flew to me and members from both sides took defensive poses at the sudden motion. Several of the people with Charles looked like government. A few military soldiers stood further past. I hoped it was enough

I was relieved to see Raven on her feet looking not too bad, she wasn't in fighting condition that's for sure. Her injured foot was very lightly placed on the ground and she wouldn't be able to run away if she needed to, which caused slight anxiety in me. But I was glad to see her awake and with a natural color in her face instead of the sick white she had been previously. 

Shaw's finger was already on the dial but he waited to see what I would do before turning it on. I had never been able to control more than one person without moving my hands before but I had a greater motivator now than I had ever had before. Maybe… just maybe I could do it. I didn't have any better Ideas

“Leave.” I demanded, my voice shook but I couldn't tell if anyone but me heard it.

Shaw laughed at me making my gut twist in loathing and a hint of self doubt. 

“I don't think we will just yet, and when we do, you'll either be dead or coming with us.” He sneered.

I furrowed my eyebrows in anger. I was laser focused, I tried to feel each ounce of blood in Shaw's body and I felt a strong desire to rip it out of him then and there. Before those thoughts consumed me I felt movement coming from a good distance away. I whipped around, on edge from the tenseness of the situation. It was only Charles. Even from here, I could see his eyes so clearly. It almost shocked me out of my focus, his gaze piercing and intense. Blue eyes, boring into mine. I could feel his need to be close to me, to support me however he could, I could feel his slight hesitance as he strode to my side. Before he got very close his eyes widened and his strides turned into running. Suddenly I could feel the blood of Azazel disappear and reappear behind me and then firm arms wrap around me. 

“May! Behind you!” Charles yelled but it was too late. The sickening feeling of being teleported made my stomach turn. I grasped for control but before I knew it I was being deposited in the arms of Shaw and his arm wrapped around my neck holding me still. I shook in anger as my powers refused to cooperate. I could feel tears form out of frustration which was stopped and replaced with fear when I felt the barrel of a gun hit my temple. 

Charles' hands came up defensively and many of his team came forward. Erik made his way over quickly and put his hand up to somehow manipulate the gun, but by then I had frozen Shaw's hand and aimed it away from my head. His arm shook as the gun slowly came to point at his own head. His resistance was strong but I could override it. I could feel his heart pounding behind me. I felt my own begin to steady as I regained slight control of my powers. Then that reassurance was ripped away as I felt Frost enter my mind and render my abilities useless. Shaw's gun was tossed on the ground, he must have realized it would be useless with Erik stood just a few yards away. I let out a pained noise as I tried to force Emma out of my mind but everything moved too quickly and in a flash Shaw's hand came to wrap around my neck, the other coming up in front of my face to display the dial on his ring which he turned slowly. My eyes widened as the pain took over me once again. My breathing became labored while the electricity wracked my body and made me tense and twitch. I could feel my scar flare up at Shaw's rough hand on my neck, It felt like the collar was back around it burning my skin. He squeezed causing me to choke and my hands raised to claw them off but were useless with the confines on my hands. I trashed desperately against Shaws and tried to ignore the electricity and use my powers to move his finger and turn off the electricity but I was too weak. 

I looked at Charles desperately. His eyes were wide with fear. Soon I lost focus as my vision blurred at the pain. I writhed in Shaw's grasp and this time instead of trying to use my powers I raised my cuffs and slammed them against Shaw's face. It was covered by the helmet he wore in order to prevent Charles from getting into his mind but I hit him hard enough that it must have had some effect because he let go of my neck and I dropped to my knees. Charles took two steps forward but did not come any closer than that. I heaved and put my cuffs against my head groaning at the way the electricity shook my body. My muscles spasmed out of control. I couldn't think clearly, the only thing I could feel besides the pain was Charles connected to me. Then he spoke in my mind and I looked up towards him trying to focus on his eyes on mine.

“What's happening? How is he doing this?” It was clear and I was grateful for this otherwise I wouldn't have been able to understand him with my senses being overwhelmed. I fought to come up with an answer in my state. I grasped for some clarity on anything, words escaping me. Then, suddenly the words formed and before I could even process them I said them to Charles.

“Read my mind, go through my memories. Quick!" 

His eyes searched me for hesitance and his eyebrows came together in worry. Only a second passed before he nodded his head resolutely, coming to the same conclusion as I had. There was no other way. 

He brought his fingers up to his temple and then I felt him push into my mind, further than he had ever gone before. I lurched using my hands to support me while trying to keep my eyes open and my body from completely giving up. The feeling of Charles in my mind was the only thing keeping me from losing that battle. He sorted through things, the memories flashing in my mind as he looked at them. My days as a child, laughing and playing with my sisters before they had discovered my mutation. Getting scolded when I let my temper control me. My mom and dad dropping me off and the institution. Lou and I laughing in bed, the years I had spent with her. When she died, and how angry she had been with me the last time I had seen her. The night Shaw kidnapped me. He pushed through my mind quickly, moving at a fast pace, but carefully, reverently. It felt like a lifetime had passed in just a few seconds.

I could feel him tense up at the memories and the weight they held in my heart, but he didn't linger where he wasn't needed. He only used these memories to understand what was going on. My mind exposed the shock collar and the day they had replaced them with the devices attached to my spine and skull. There he lingered. I could feel an idea form and his voice spoke gently in my mind again.

“I have an idea…”  

I groaned out in pain and looked back up into his sharp eyes. He looked afraid.

“What is i-it?”

“Erik… he could take them out.” 

I realized what he was trying to say. My shock devices, he could rip them out of me. He could free me of Shaw's control. My eyes widened and suddenly the electricity didn't feel so intense. Not because the voltage was going down, but because the possibility of being free became the sole focus in my mind. Overriding all other senses and thoughts.

“Do it.” I said it out loud, bitter, angry and hopeful.

“... Are you sure, love?” Charles said out loud too. The worry in his voice was sweet but I was too desperate to care.

“Yes! Now Charles! please,” 

Charles turned to Erik and they must have communicated telepathically because no words were spoken between the two. Erik's expression changed from confusion to understanding and then he nodded softly at Charles. Erik faced me and came closer till he was only a little ways away from me. First I felt the metal of my cuffs tear and fall from my hands, then I felt him tug at the wires in my neck. I screamed out as I felt them unwind from my bones and he jerked them harshly out of my body. The pain was worse than the shocks and my vision went black for a moment but as soon as they were out I felt a staggering sense of relief wash over me. Each device clattered to the ground in front of me, covered in my blood, the light signalling that they were on flashed until Erik crushed them, one at a time. I let out a dry sob as the pain faded. My hand came up to my neck to feel where the devices had been. Instead there were three wounds where blood slipped down to the front of my neck. My hands shook, not from pain or electricity, from the current of emotions I was feeling. Shock, astonishment and freedom, and then fury. 

I stood on shaky legs and turned to face Shaw who looked at me with such an intense unfiltered fear that I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it was because of me. He had always been afraid but it was well hidden and mixed with his desire to control me. Now that he didn't have command over my powers, of course it showed itself, clear and unyielding on his face. 

I felt those murderous feelings rise in me again. He had taken everything from me and until now I hadn't been able to do anything but throw fits. And after years of his torture I had grown too tired and I had lost even my temper. Now it was all resurfacing, my fury, my resentment, the grief I had for the years he had stolen from me, and for lou. My hands clenched at my sides, my knuckles turning white. I felt Frost try to take control of my mind again but before she could I felt charles stop her with his own powers. I felt stronger knowing he had my back. The power made my mind foggy. All I wanted was to make Shaw pay. I held everyone else in place. Their resistance did nothing as I honed in on Shaw. With the other hand I lifted him into the air and spread his blood out just slightly inside his body, separating each cell from the others. He groaned and his eyes and skin became red and bloodshot. My face contorted in anger as I pushed slightly harder, wanting it to be painful and slow. 

“You took everything from me, Schmidt.” I spoke in a strained voice. I barely recognised the sound of it as it left my throat. It was raw and hoarse. Shaw couldn't even hear it over his own choking

“May,” Charles was suddenly behind me, but his voice was in my head. “You don't have to do this,”

I scoffed “oh but I do.” The blood from my devices was leaking out of my neck and staining my shirt mixing with the sweat. My muscles twitched almost as if I was being shocked, but it almost felt good knowing that it was my own emotions causing this reaction, not shaw.

“Please… it won't make you feel any better,”

“Then what will?” I choked out, still focused on shaw in front of me. Charles was earnest, the soft lul of his voice in my head snapped me out of my anger for a moment. I thought about what he said. If I didn't get my revenge I thought I would would be left empty inside, and if Charles was right, and it didn't fill that void then I was hopeless, forever shattered and broken.

“Having good people who want to help you by your side. People who want to support you, who wont control you” His hand came to rest on my shoulder as he came to stand in front of me.

My heart clenched in my chest. I glanced away from Shaw to look at Charles. Tears formed in my eyes. Nothing seemed more important to me right now than Shaw. But Charles looked at me with so much care and concern and…. Love? My anger faded away more and more by the second and was replaced with the surprise of seeing something so pure in his expression. And he was looking at me. I could hardly believe it. I realized I needed it. To feel wanted for something other than my powers and to not feel unwanted because of them either. To be wanted but just for who I was. And Charles was giving it to me. His hand came up to my face where he wiped a tear that had slipped from my eye. I instinctively melted into his hand and let out a shaky breath, my eyebrows knitting as more tears came.

Shaw gargled behind him and my attention shifted back to him. The rest of the Hellfire club were still frozen in place. 

“Let me help you fix what he's broken,” Charles said out loud. My eyes glanced between him and Shaw and my anger dissolved completely. Shaw didn't matter anymore. I could choose to live my life how I pleased and Charles was asking me to choose to stay with him and let him take care of me. I realized there was nothing I wanted more. I nodded softly to Charles but mostly to myself. A promise to be better for him. To not add on to the list of reasons why I didn't deserve this, and to move on from my past and not let it be what affects my first decision after escaping Shaw's command.

“Ok” I said. Shaw fell to the floor where he gasped for air and the rest of the team unfroze. My arms went down to my sides feeling heavy. More tears slipped from my eyes before Charles wrapped me in a hug. I broke down crying audibly now, overwhelmed by everything and also feeling unbearably good in Charles’ arms and out of Shaw's reach. 

The embrace didn't last long before people were fighting again, Shaw and his team were trying to retreat while preventing themselves from being captured, I stepped away from Charles to help the military soldiers who were trying to get their hands on the hellfire club, I raised my hands to freeze them in place but realized that my vision was impaired from the tears. In the split second it took for me to wipe my eyes with my sleeve, Shaw had clambered for the gun he had tossed to the ground before and pointed it at my head as a last effort to keep me, his best weapon, from being freed and turned on him. He would rather me dead than on the other side. I saw him a moment too late and he fired the gun a single time, the shot ringing in my ears. My eyes went wide before everything returned to blackness.

[werrrrrd]

Will you be updating? :)

just did! next one will probably be out by tonight as well

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC Prt.12

SPECIAL WARNING: this bit of the story is another really heavy one, please reach out to authorities if you are being abused and do not read if this is a sensitive or triggering subject

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

The tears didn't come until I had made it back to the submarine. I couldn't remember the last time I had cried. They were quiet, slipping down my face without causing much trouble other than that. They burned trails down my face as i got back into the warmth of the sub and made my way to my room. I stilled as soon as I noticed the lights were on. Sounds were coming from the lounge. I dragged my sleeve over my face to wipe my tears and snapped out of my emotions that might cloud my vision and get me in trouble if I wasn't careful. There was no way that I could get to my room without going right past the lounge so I pressed myself against the wall preparing to quickly and silently slide past. I heard Shaw talking inside but didn't bother to listen to what he was saying. Quickly I used my powers to see who else was in there. But what I felt frightened me a little. 

It was only Shaw and Frost and Azazel but Shaw's blood was rushing like mad. I panicked a little bit, Why were they all awake? Why was Shaw absolutely furious? Of course I knew, I just hoped that it wasn't true.  I tried to keep my breathing quiet as I got my footing right. Then I felt Azazel move from Shaw's side toward the exit to the hall I was in, it was now or never. I took a deep breath before shooting to the other side of the small door. Before I got there an arm grabbed me and I knew immediately that Azazel had teleported to grab me and he, and everyone else had known I was there the whole time. 

I was yanked into the room, my heart hammering in my chest uncontrollably. I was tossed over to Shaw who stood with his arms folded and a face redder than I had ever seen. Frost folded her arms next to him and looked at me disapprovingly. My mind flashed to my parents and similar looks I had received from them. But I wasn't a little girl and the consequences would be much more serious than the scolding that I would have received had it been my mother and father. I noticed the small monitor set up on Shaw's desk and felt myself begin to sweat. In the pixels was a rudimentary map and a small flashing dot, placed just off the coast of land, where we were. Gulping, I held my hands behind my back where Shaw wouldn't see them shake. That was my location, my current location. And that meant that they had been watching me. They knew where i had gone.

I almost started crying again. How could I be so stupid? Of course he would find out. I shouldn't have gone there, and I especially should not have lingered so long. As beautiful as that kiss was and no matter how badly Raven was injured, I should not have done it. She might have died but now they all will. The guilt was crippling and gripped my gut in a tight knot. My eyes flashed back to Shaw as he spoke.

“Where did you go?” His gaze was sharp as a knife. I could practically feel the devices on my neck buzzing despite his fingers remaining off the dial on his ring. I wish I had felt them like that earlier as a sign that Shaw was watching. But I knew that wasn't how they worked, they were devices for shaws benefit, not mine. They had caught me and now I feared they would find out what was located and who resided where I had been only a little while ago. 

I was silent as he stepped closer to me. His hand raised and landed around my neck squeezing with one hand. My hand stayed at my sides knowing better than to fight back. Instead I gasped a strained breath as he yanked me towards the monitor and pointed at the map where he had drawn a small ‘x’. Right where Charles’ mansion was. 

“Where did you go?!” he repeated, louder and angrier this time. I didn't know what to say. What could I say? I couldn't come up with a lie and I knew that no matter what they would find out. Even if I told them I had just tried to run away again and then realized it wouldn't work and came back. Frost could read my mind and Shaw wasn't stupid enough not to catch my bluff this time. Instead I just looked wide eyed at the screen and held in a whimper when his grasp tightened. 

“Tell me!” He screamed, He slammed my head on the desk. blood gushed from my nose and knew instantly it was broken. I grunted before he pulled me to face him and raised a fist to my face. I raised my hands instinctually as I stumbled at the pain of the blow. He had let go of my neck but was advancing on me again landing another hit on my shoulder. I could barely feel a thing though. Instead I was thinking of all the terrible things that would happen once they found out. I felt myself begin to cry at the thought. Hot tears forming and dropping from my eyes. Shaw hit me once more landing me on the ground on my hands and knees trying to keep myself from collapsing completely. I spat blood out of my mouth as my lip split. A sob wracked my body shaking me violently. Shaw stopped his swings and listened while I heaved another sob. I didn't look up to see the surprise on anyone's face. I hadn't cried since they had taken off the collar that had burned me. This was unexpected from me. But I stayed on the lacquered floor and tried to control myself before realizing it didn't matter anymore and no matter what I did I could not find a way out of this. Snot mixed with the blood pouring from my nose and i spit it out as it slipped into my mouth.

I looked up through my hair that hung by my face with my bloodied face and my tear soaked cheeks. Emma placed her hand on Shaw's shoulder and said the words I dreaded.

“I should just read her mind, there's no use beating the poor girl.” I knew she thought she was saving me the heartache of being hit again. She didnt know that i would have preferred being beaten because then i knew i would forever stay silent.

Funny enough, Emma didn't like to read my mind. She always said that it was too much for her, it made her sad. Yeah, I know. I scoffed at her too when she had first complained to shaw which earned me a glare from both her and Shaw. Yet I could feel her sympathy.

Shaw's team, as I understood, thought of his treatment of me as a necessary evil. They did not approve but they knew that Shaw needed me to be under his control. And although I could occasionally find the slightest bit of forgiveness in me for them because of that, this was not one of those situations. This time I cursed Emma and her stupid power that I was at least going to try and prevent from doing its job. 

I stood on one shaky leg, then another. I raised my hands quickly before anyone could stop me and stilled everyone in the room. Unfortunately Emma's brain was not affected by my powers, her brain was different, the blood inside of it was protected by her diamond mutation and she got into my head and freed everybody before I could take any sort of action. Now it was my turn to be frozen. Shaw was furious once again. I didn't ever use my powers on him because that seemed to scare him most. When I was young I loved the way he shivered at my powers, I loved to see that I had some control, but the punishments I received for that soon deterred me from making it a habit. And I could see the fear in his eyes now too. Hidden behind the Fury but stubbornly present in his expression.

He swarmed in at me with another fist hitting the side of my head causing my eyes to roll and making me nauseous. My vision blurred and spotted with black and I held my cheekbone where he had hit me until I could see straight again. I came back to a standing position. Shaw seemed to be done with exerting himself on me and watched me instead of coming at me again. I briefly glanced at the ring on his finger but I couldn't find it in me to give up just at the sight of it. Not this time.

 I raised my hands again to try and stop Frost as I felt her prod at my mind hesitantly. This time Shaw got to me before she did. 

The electricity shot up my spine and into the back of my skull. He had turned the dial all the way up. I twisted in pain as my knees got weak. What felt worse though was Emma weaselled into my mind and got a hold of my memories. I panted as she gasped and the truth was revealed to her. The blood rushing to my head overwhelmed me. I began to lose control of my powers and the sound of everyone's blood grew loud in my head, unbearably loud. I reeled as Emma told Shaw where I had been. Who I had been with. Finally I crumpled to the floor as my headache formed and I was overcome with the shock. I twitched on the ground uncontrollably and clawed at my neck where the devices were doing their job. I scratched at the small exposed part till it was raw, even tried to use my powers to pull them out again and again but that only tugged on my spine which I knew would only kill me. And before I could try any harder or try to use Shaw's blood to turn off the electricity I lost control of my powers all together leaving me helpless and spasming at his feet. He kept the shock going as he kneeled down to peer at me.

“Thanks for leading us right to them dear May,” He said, making me want to vomit. I groaned in pain and in protest. His teeth were still clenched and the vein in his forehead protruded.

“I can't believe this whole time, I trusted you, and here you were, helping them. I should have known.” He tisked as if I had chosen to be loyal to him. I was so angry I could have gone for his neck if I wasn't about to lose consciousness. I listened as he kept speaking. “Lets go visit your friends huh? I bet we could use this to our advantage.” He grinned, that was the last thing I saw as my vision faded and I passed out, my body unable to process the pain.

[werrrrrd]

When will the next update be up? :)

within the next week!!

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.11

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

AN: Thank you for being patient while waiting for this part! It is oh so juicy and I hope the wait was worth it. The next few parts wont be as consistent but I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THE STORY WONT BE ABANDONED!! I am dedicated to finishing it but I also need to get caught up in school and draft all the rest of the story to make sure that its a good ending and will be satisfactory to all you's

The mansion was beautiful. Wood detailing lined the ceiling and warmed the dark hallway. Only the glow of the room raven was in gave me any light and a large window at the end of the hall. I walked a couple paces down the wide hall hearing a soft echo of when the heels of my boots hit the floor. I wanted to explore, but Charles’ disconnection was bothering me more than my urge to wander. I walked a few more paces wondering if I'd have to use my powers to find him. That's when I heard gasping in a room on my left. I rushed into what was a medium room with floor to ceiling windows on the far wall and empty bookshelves.There, Charles was crouched down with his arms wrapped around his legs slightly rocking back and forth on his feet. I felt that his heart beat was off the charts and I rushed over to him to make sure he wasn't hurt

“Whats wrong!?” I put my hands on his arms and he lifted his head to look at me with wide, afraid eyes only just noticing my presence. 

“It's n-nothing” He gasped out “im okay, I-ill be fine, shes alright now” Tears streaked down his face and he was inhaling and exhaling quickly and shallowly. I could feel his feelings spill back into mine as we reconnected. He knew everything would be alright with raven, he was just overwhelmed. Very overwhelmed, and uncertain and feeling intense pressure and suddenly I felt incredibly guilty for never wondering if Charles was doing ok like he had done for me. I had to fight to stop myself from freaking out too and make it up to him.

“Breathe Charles!" I said to him and kneeled down in front of him. He attempted twice to calm and slow his breathing but he only gasped in more air and it worsened. His panic only increased as he realized he couldnt get a breath in and he reached for his throat like he was choking.

The speed of his heart was making me feel woozy so I pushed him back off of his heels. He landed with his butt on the floor and his hands went behind him to catch himself from laying all the way back. His eyes flashed with even more worry. I pushed his chest until he scooted with his back against the wall. His legs sprawled out and I moved forward to straddle his lap. My hand went to his heart and I got close so that I could control his blood better. He looked at me pleading and confused. A few tears slipped from his blue eyes and he gasped in more air and wheezed as it exited his lungs. I focused on where his heart was, pounding unbearably hard, and slowed his blood gradually to get him to calm down. His hand went to press mine further into his chest, realizing what I was doing. His eyes fluttered shut and eyebrows knitted together. 

I gulped, suddenly my heart was beating quicker, and not because of his panic that was subsiding. My eyes flitted down to where my hand was on his chest with his hand over it. He hiccuped once or twice but his breathing returned to a normal pace and he let out a shaky but long exhale. 

I looked back up at him and saw that he was already staring back at me with intensity. The streaks down his cheeks shimmered in the soft light, my other hand rose and wiped the tears from his face with my thumb. His eyes searched mine carefully. The moon in the window reflected in them brightly and made them even more starry. I couldn't look away as his eyes flitted across mine, trying to read me. He let out another breath and I felt his heart rate steady completely. My hand dropped from his face but he caught it in his and held it where it rested on my leg. I swear it was so quiet, the air was still and all I could hear was us breathe slowly and quietly.

He inched forward, looking timidly between my lips and my eyes, looking for something telling him to stop. I only watched in a trance as he got closer and sat up off of the wall. I held my breath as he reached me. My hand still on his heart, and his over mine. His lips pressed against mine tenderly, tentatively, they were soft and just the slightest bit salty with his tears. I returned the emotion in my kiss. My hand moved from his heart which had picked up its pace slightly and cupped his jaw once more. His went to my back and pressed me against him. We moved slowly and carefully. He craned his neck against me yet still moved with so much gentleness. I pushed my lips further into his and relished in the feeling of his breath on my skin and our lips moving together. 

We broke apart and I let out my own breath and turned my head down, blushing too hard to look at him. He kept me close with his arm around my waist and I felt one finger slowly trace a line up and down my back. Our foreheads pressed together and my thoughts returned to how good it felt to be touched in such a gentle and kind way. If it was anyone but Charles I wouldn't trust it, this care, I would expect an ulterior motive. But I couldn't find it in me to believe Charles had any ill intent. Despite being on opposite sides of a looming war, he was holding me like I was precious to him.

He tilted my head up with his fingers on my chin and I looked up at him with a dazed look on my face. He searched my expression again, making sure I didn't seem regretful or unsure. When he didn't see anything he shifted his grip on my hand and intertwined our fingers without breaking eye contact. 

“Thank you.” He said to me earnestly

“For what?’

“Saving me, saving Raven, kissing me, god, you've done so much i am thankful for”

He whispered his accent thick and full of emotion. I smiled softly at him and my other hand fiddled with the end of his button up shirt mindlessly. 

“Thankyou for trusting me.” I said softly in response.

“I can't help it.” He said without pause. My heart skipped in my chest. Everything felt so incredibly right with the world. I hadn't felt this way I don't think ever, and my hopes of achieving this feeling had completely blinked out years ago. Actually I don't think I had ever thought this feeling was possible. Completely peaceful, my heart feeling like it was everything it should be, that I was everything I should be. Not a single thing was wrong. I did not understand how Charles had changed my mind about so many things in such a short amount of time. How could he have made me feel so whole? 

We smiled at each other for not long enough before his smile slipped slightly and he furrowed his eyebrows ever so subtly.

“Whats wrong?” I asked. Suddenly the feeling threatened to go and I wanted to do everything possible to prevent that

“How did Shaw find out? About our meeting?” he said carefully eyes still wide and searching.

“...He found someone, a man, who told him”

“Hmm” Charles looked away. He knew, he knew that it had not been that simple but he wasn't forcing it out of me. Yet the worry of losing this precious moment to a rotten end had me scrambling to fix things.

“Well, we had to torture him… I… I had to torture him. But I had no idea that it was about you, I thought… well I didn't know what Shaw wanted from him” I felt my gut twist as the words came out. A stab of self disgust and guilt formed in my stomach. Charles didn't say anything for a moment.

“You… you tortured him," He stated quietly. It wasn't a question, more a realization, or an understanding that he had not wanted to come to but could not ignore anymore. It broke my heart because he was right. Now I was quiet. His trust in me was not as firm as I believed, as I hoped, it was. And I couldn't blame him. It wasn't smart to trust me, I was working for a very bad man. That fact that Charles hadn't locked me up was objectively stupid. Even more stupidly, here we were, on the ground. With me on his lap and my hand in his and our lips tingling after the most perfect kiss I could ever imagine. But I had somehow hoped that he saw through it, that he knew how much I hated it and how much I hated Shaw. But I was being stupid too.

He had lost the fondness in his eyes and it was replaced with a sad stare. I pulled my hand from his and stood from his lap. He followed after me. 

“I should go.” I said noticing that the sky was getting lighter outside, the sun threatening to rise, and realizing I had overstayed. I needed to get home before Shaw woke and noticed I was gone. If he saw I was gone again, that I had run away after years of having given up then he would be suspicious and figure out what had changed. He would find out about Charles and take him away from me. And now, what hurt even more was that I could sense that Charles wasn't as comfortable with me being here as he was before. The last thing I wanted to do was make things worse.

“I don't understand May, why?” he spoke before I could walk away 

“Why what?”

“If you’re on his side, then why do you keep helping us? And why are you on his side? is it saftey? I could keep you safe here!” He said exasperatedly. I could feel him come up with another reason that could explain why I was with Shaw, maybe he thought that I just wanted to be with shaw. That I agreed with him like Emma did, but dread rose up in him at the thought and he swallowed instead of speaking up about it. He ran his hands over his face “I don't get it. I dont get you,” his eyes found mine again

“Its not that simple,” I said, backing towards the door. He stepped closer to me as I stepped away.

“May, please don't run off again.” He said with sadness and hurt in his eyes

I walked toward him trying to ease his hurt and hesitantly took his hand again. He didn't stop me so I laced our fingers together again. He looked down at our hands with his eyebrows furrowed again.

“I have to go, It was risky coming here at all,” I said sympathetically “I wish things were different, really, but there's nothing I can do,” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and pulled his hand away, “I don't know why I'm trusting you. Shaw, he's a monster, and you…”

I felt an unjustified stab of hurt cut through me again. 

“No one knows that better than I do, but please, keep trusting me. I don't think I could handle it if you hated me.” I said and it was honest. I barely knew him and yet I felt like he was the only thing holding me together. It broke my heart to think that he might hate me for the things ive done even if they were things I deserved to be hated for. I waited for Charles to respond but he was quiet. He did not look at me only at the ground in between us. I sighed, holding back tears and decided it was better that he hated me than that Shaw found out where I was. 

“I'm sorry. Really,” I said to him, Still he was quiet, but it looked like he was forming words. I waited for a little while. His questions and confusion manifested onto his expression but nothing came from his mouth. I knitted my eyebrows together waiting for him to say something. But no, he seemed to give up on the words he wanted to say and looked away again. I took that as my sign to go and pulled my hand from his reluctantly.

He didn't follow me as I stepped out of the room. I ignored the strong urge to stay with him that always arose when I left his presence. The urge that ignored all reason and persisted no matter the circumstance. I only glanced back at him once I got to the hall to see him still looking at the floor. I held back tears as I tried to remember where the door was.

Still the warmness of the mansion was calling to me. I wondered how peacefully I would sleep here if I ever got the chance and shook the thought out of my head before I got too caught up in wishful thinking. That would only make things worse.

Once I got to the front doors, I saw Erik hiding in the shadows making me jump slightly. Once again I face palmed for being too distracted to notice him with my powers. Usually they were always noting where people were and how on edge they were, notifying me who to stay away from and most often, how to avoid Shaw. But Erik didn't seem to be about to attack me based on the speed of his heart. I glanced at him as he watched me go for the door expecting him to say something but not stopping to wait for it. when my hand hit the door knob he finally spoke up

“Whats your angle?” 

I stopped and turned to him still keeping my hand on the door “huh?”

“What are you planning?” He stepped into the light of the windows and came a few steps toward me.

“Im not-”

“Charles wont read your mind now, but that might not be the case forever you know?” He said in a menacing tone. “Eventually he’ll crack and he’ll find out everything. Everything you're trying to hide.” he came to a stop and put on a wide stance that would have worried me if I wasnt a little bit anxious to get home. "The only reason he wont do it now is because he's worried what he'll find." he glared at me.

“Im not trying to hide anything. He can read my mind for all I care, honestly that would make things easier” I gripped the knob as I spoke. I meant what I said. If he read my mind then he would understand, the only thing I might actually want to hide was his effect on me, how much I thought about him, which was just a tad embarrassing. But then he would know that I really didn't mean any harm. He would know why I worked with Shaw, why things were the way they were. He would have the answers to all the questions he wasn't asking me. 

Erik's expression flashed to shock before he looked away to cover it. His eyes came back to me when I spoke again

“Go ahead and let him know. My mind is open to him, any time he feels like he wants answers, he deserves that at least, I hope it brings him some peace...” I said staring into Erik's eyes, unwavering to let him know that I was serious, that I didn't doubt a word of what I said. He breathed out evenly looking for anything untrustworthy in my gaze. But I didn't have time to convince him so I opened the door to go, stepping out, back into the cold night.

[werrrrrd]

When will the next chapter be up? Hope you’re taking care of yourself!

Asap! I've been writing the next few parts before I edit this chapter to make sure i finish the story and don't abandon it 😬! Expect it to be uploaded in the next few days 😘

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.10!

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

AN:First off! A big warning for this Chapter, LOTS of blood, and detailed descriptions having to do with blood, I just wanted to reiterate this because this chapter deals with it for like 80% of it. ALSO lots of parts of this bit dont add up or make sense, like she should be super deep underwater in the submarine but shes not because I said so and she also somehow got onto land without swimming and got back fine too. Once again I just did this so that I could write what I wanted to write, just ignore that stuff. As well as the things that scientifically wouldn't work. Theres a lot that really is impossible but TRY AND STOP ME FROM WRITING IT ANYWAYS! Enjoy!!

I carefully opened the door to my room and peaked out into the dark hallway. Without any idea what time it was I made my way down the hall and towards the exit. I passed shaws room as slowly and carefully as possible. It had only been an hour or so since everyone had retired for the night, I would have waited longer to make sure everyone was asleep but I couldn't stop thinking that I needed to help Raven. And its better I get caught on my way out than on my way back.

Once I got outside and climbed up out of the hatch I realized I had no idea where to go. Glancing around at the dock around me I weighed my options, I could only think of one, I had to hope that it would work. 

I reached out with my mind, hoping that Charles would feel me reaching out and then connect his mind with mine. My body stilled in concentration. I had no idea how far away he was, I only hoped that our connection was stronger or that he was closer than I thought and that I would be able to find him. I listened for him but all I could hear was the sloshing of the frigid water against the boats harbored here. The sounds seemed to get louder the more I tried to hear him. I groaned in frustration and decided to push forward to see if I could try again somewhere that wouldn't be so loud. I walked a little ways into the town, passed buildings and pubs that were still filled where people were laughing and drinking. Walking through the  rather large downtown I made sure to remember my pathway so that I would be able to find my way back when the time came. After a little while of walking the roads became more suburban and the houses dwindled. I made my way up a small hill that I could see much of the city from. It was quiet here, all I could hear was my own breath fogging in the cold and blood running through my body. I took a deep breath and tried again. This time I listened closer, letting my mind reach for Charles, wherever he was. I waited for a few moments, my brain fanning out into the expanse around me. I didn't get what I wanted but what I got was good enough. My mind honed in on a certain direction, we hadn't made a connection but my mind told me that If I went that way I could get close enough.

 I began a sort of jog down the hill, unsure of how far he was and how long it would take me to get there. As I ran I stumbled past a train station, hoping that It could get me there faster. I hopped on the line going in the right direction, thanking the universe that there even was a train headed that way. 

After a couple stops I felt my mind get more and more itchy. I guessed that it was time to get off and sprinted out of the station anxious to get to Raven. Finally I felt Charles. Relief flooded through me, I was close. 

It seemed Charles hadn't felt me though, his brain seemed detached and scattered. Even when I tried to communicate, the connection was one sided. I could tell it was subconscious and that it wasn't on purpose. I did not ponder on it too long because in the distance I made out a mansion, actually it apeared more like a small castle. Just looking at it I could tell he was there. Lights were on in several of the rooms, making it look incredibly inviting but all looked quiet from outside. I set a quick pace of running there again. It was big. If I was 12 again and walked past this house I would have called it ugly, too big, and probably filled with empty rooms that were only collecting dust. Now I wished it was mine. Vines growing up the stone and a wide yard and it emanated warmth even in the chilled night. I ran up the gravel driveway towards two huge wooden doors that looked just as expensive as the rest of it did.

Suddenly, I felt a wave of anxiety about how I would be received. Would they turn me away? I know that most of Charles’ team were not fans of mine, especially Erik. As I got closer to the front door a chill ran through. Charles had still not connected to my mind but I understood he was preoccupied and likely hadn't noticed me. I could feel the blood of everyone in the mansion but could not tell which was which. I reached the door and I hesitated to knock. 

One deep breath and my knuckles rasped against the hard wood making my cold fingers sting slightly. I waited for a long time, listening to see if anyone was coming closer to the door. From what I could tell they were on the other side of the building, none of them showed any sign of noticing my knock, but all seemed tense based on the speed of their heart and the tenseness of their muscles. I knocked louder this time and hoped someone would hear. I felt someone part from the rest of the group and come over to the door quickly. The door in front of me jerked and a young man opened. Short brown hair was stuck slightly to his forehead and he looked slightly pale. I recognized him from before. He had helped me when Charles had brought me here, in fact he was the one who was worried about me leaving because I wasn't stable. My gratitude for him suddenly tugged at my heart. It was rare to realize someone cared about me beyond my use. And from him it was even more shocking, being on the other side of the fight as each other.

He looked at me surprised and a little bit scared. He turned behind him to see if anyone was there. Then he peeked behind me to see if I had any company either. “Im alone, I just want to help.” I motioned to the blood on his clothes that must have gotten on him from helping Raven. I could tell it was hers and I could feel that she was still bleeding from the other side of the mansion.

He hesitated 

“Listen, you can turn me away, that's fine, but Raven isn't getting better and from the feel of her blood I can tell she needs more help than you've already given her. That bullet is still inside of her and I can help with the concussion too! I just need-”

“Fine. come in.” He interrupted

“Wait what?” I didn't expect him to let me in to be honest. I was planning on having to give a whole speech just to convince him I didnt want to kill them all. But no.

“Just come in! If you're here to help then we should hurry!”  he pulled me inside gently by the arm. Immediately I felt the warm seep into my skin. Still anxious, I stumbled after him towards a room with bright lights further down the hall where I could feel several bodies and Raven laying unconscious and bleeding. 

“Hank who-” Another boy asked, stepping out of the room to check on him. He stopped when he saw me. I didnt stop to talk to him, only pushed past him into the room as I felt more clearly Ravens need of my help.

Everyone in the room except raven for obvious reasons, turned to look at me. My eyes landed on Charles who rushed over to me already knowing why I was here. My heart sang because he knew I wanted to help before I even said so. Finally our minds attached. It didn't seem intentional for him but now that he was aware of my presence I could feel how his brain suddenly wanted to connect to mine too. I welcomed him and then felt something new. He did not speak to me and yet I knew how he felt. Like a fraction of his powers were shared between us. I could feel his worry gnawing at him from the inside. I tried to quickly get used to his feelings partly becoming my own. I spared him a deep dive into the feelings that we now couldn't help but experience together. Instead, I thanked him silently for trusting me again and tried to get him to calm himself before it became overwhelming for the both of us..

“Take a deep breath for me, ok?” I said softly. His eyes were just slightly widened but he nodded and sucked in deeply through his nose and out his mouth, understanding that his feelings pushing against mine could affect how well I did my job.

 He calmed slightly as he pulled me towards raven who looked even worse than her blood told me she was. She was bruised all up both of her legs and her left ankle had been broken and her shin shattered from her landing on it, her blood swelled up there. I knew I could help her with that and with the blood she was losing from the gun wound. Somehow that seemed less serious than It should have been. The brain damage I could do something to help too. There was blood all over the front of her clothes and her breathing was labored and slow. Charles didn't look good either. He was even paler than the boy who opened the door was and his hands shook as he guided me to Raven's side. 

Everyone was quiet as I placed my hands over Raven's wounds. Not even Erik moved from his spot. I closed my eyes and felt her blood move through her body. I could feel the things that Hank must have injected into her blood in an attempt to heal her. Unfortunately this was only causing her blood to try and fight off this unknown liquid and not focus on the things that her body really needed it to do. I pulled the formula and gathered it out of her, using the blood surrounding it. I guided the clear liquid out of the bullet wound in her stomach and carried it to a beaker that was placed on the metal table next to where Raven laid. I brought the remaining blood I had used to move the serum back into her body. Then I pulled out any other impurities from her blood. Dust, germs, anything that might cause issues or infections later. Then I got to the trickiest bit. My breathing became heavier at the precision I had to use in order to unlodge the bullet from her body without touching anything it shouldn't. It had embedded itself near her spine and kidneys but fortunately had not made contact with any vital organs. I pulled it slowly from its place and wound it out from her body. Some blood pushed out of her wound as the bullet came out which I used to hold it in the air. I released it from the blood I was holding and it clattered onto the table. Then I went through her flesh and healed what I could from there, closing things up inside of her that should not be open and mending her body back together around itself. 

“Will she be ok?” Charles whispered from beside me. 

“There was damage done to a couple organs but i can heal those a little bit and they should be ok in a few weeks, Her head injury I can do something about too” 

Charles nodded but I could still feel how nervous he was still, his entire body tensed and tight, sweat making his skin glisten subtly. He was still taking deep breaths to keep himself calm but it was only doing so much. I wanted to help him, comfort him if I could. He seemed to feel my want to help him but he shook his head and knotted his eyebrows together kindly. I understood, Raven was the one who needed help right now and I was the only one who could do anything for her right now. 

 I settled back into her blood using my powers and made sure the binding I had done to the holes and tears from the bullet were holding well. Once everything inside looked good and had been helped to the best of my abilities I felt her systems begin to calm, now the blood knew what was going on and the brain could send it where it needed to go. But I was worried about the lack of it. A lot had been lost on the way here. Before I closed the wound I wanted to take all the blood near us and get it back into her where it would be of better use to her. I turned away from Raven and glanced around the room. It was on a couple tools on the metal table, on the Hanks shirt, on Charles’ hands and shirt, on the table raven laid on, in the sink, my hands, several tools on the metal table. I closed my eyes and collected it all. It unstained the clothing it was on, glided off the medical tools and skin and collected in bubbles in the air. 

I opened my eyes as it came together. Everyone watched silently as I purified it. I felt Charles' thoughts part from Raven for the briefest of moments through our connection. Instead of the fear he had been suppressing for Raven, his feelings flashed to wonder and awe. While everyone's eyes were on the blood hovering in the air, Charles' eyes were on mine, boring into me with an intense curiosity. It would have reminded me of Shaw's curiosity for my powers when I was young, except I could feel no desire in Charles to control it. No, all he wanted was to learn, to understand it, I felt only admiration from him.

 I might have cried if it wasn't for the task at hand. I brought my eyes from his back onto the blood and I brought it back into Raven's body. The blood went back to its work and then I did my best to mend the wound and close it up. Once that was finished I paused and massaged my temples. The headaches from Shaw's experiments when I was young were less intense now but they persisted. Charles winced, feeling it his own head too. I was apologetic as I tried to sooth both of our minds. He shuddered beside me in relief and dragged a sleeved arm over his sweaty forehead looking at Raven whos breathing had returned mostly to normal..

“Youll still want to stitch up that wound, I did what I can but i cant heal so much as glue it together with sticky blood and scabs. Her organs and stomach will heal up fine on their own, she's gonna be alright.” I announced to the room.

Charles nodded and several others did as well. I felt the overall tension of the room lessen, heart rates went down and shoulders dropped relievedly.

“Hank can you come stitch her please?” Charles called to the boy who had been standing close by but out of the way. He jumped forward and collected everything he needed to do so. I looked at Charles and nodded at him. He let out a breath and looked at me with blue tearful eyes. I pursed my lips and resisted the urge to wrap him in a hug. I still had work to do. 

I walked to the raven's head, looking warily at Erik as I passed him. He looked at me with the same amount of wariness but made no move towards me, he seemed to have enough proof that I wasn't going to hurt her and knew that's all I was doing as I placed my feet firmly on the ground and put my hands on both sides of her skull. Hank began his work on her bullet wound and I focused in on the damage to her mind. The messages being sent from the brain were staticky and hard to read. This could be an issue in the future if not addressed now. I felt where the brain had hit her skull and compared it to that of my own. Using my own brain as a map, I reconnected nerves and veins on the surface of her brain. I had to be even more precise for this than I did for pulling out the bullet. The headache in my head intensified but it was nowhere near unbearable and I ignored it. Each tiny nerve was rewired and I felt as the messages reclaimed their clarity and her body suddenly seemed to know how to fix itself and the process sped. I sighed and took my hands from her head. I looked at the slight scrape on the side of her head from the pavement but it had already scabbed over and would be ok without my help. I then made quick work of her leg. This would require more than just my help, a splint and some medicine, but I could at least set the bone back to where it should be by pushing it with the blood around it. And while she was unconscious this wouldn't even hurt her. The swelling went down with the bones set back in its place and the bruising lightened looking significantly better in a matter of minutes.

I stepped back from Raven and put my hands behind my back to show that I did everything I could do.

Charles still seemed rather shell shocked and unsteady, his hands clammy and shaking slightly. Still he turned to me looking grateful.

“Thank you, I don't know what we would have done without you.” He said

“You would have figured something out, I know it. Whatever formula you put inside her would have worked if her body hadn't tried to fight it off.” I said honestly.

“I hoped it wouldn't do that but I didn't know what else to try” Hank spoke up and fiddled slightly with his latex gloves as he finished up on the stitches which looked impressively professional “I wasn't sure how to get the bullet out, it was too deep inside her and I wasn't sure if I could reach it without causing worse damage or hitting her spine.”

“Yes it was good that you didn't meddle around there.” I told him, “You did everything right, I mean it.” 

He gave me a small grateful smile before turning back to his hands and slipping the gloves off of them. A boy, red headed, came and patted me on the back, jolting me. “Good work,” He told me before stepping up to Raven next to Hank. Erik and I glanced at each other, I didnt see any anger or wariness there this time. Instead he nodded at me in respect. My heart clenched again and I looked at the ground, suddenly not sure what to do. I was unfamiliar with people behaving this way towards me, grateful, respectful. I felt slightly uncomfortable, unsure of how I was supposed to respond but thankful to be receiving it. 

I had only been here thirty or so minutes. It had only been an hour and a half since I left, I hadn't expected to find Charles so quick. Speaking of, I realized I couldn't feel him anymore, he must have severed the connection while I was distracted with the others. I felt worry rise up in me as I looked around the room and didn't find him. Gulping I reasoned with myself that he probably just didnt want to experience the headache that had been pretty severe just a moment ago.

The others were distracted with each other and didn't notice me slip out to find him.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.9 I think

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

“Shaw wants you in his office.” I was notified a couple nights later. I gulped as I walked towards Shaw's door worried that he had figured something out about the day that Charles had saved me from the collapsing garage and that he knew where they were hiding out. Now that they had proved themselves a serious threat, Shaw was making plans to take them down and stop them from halting his progress. I reached the door only to feel the blood of two men, one I didn't know, who according to his heart rate and the fact that I could feel him bleeding, had been harmed. I held my hand hesitantly near the door before I finally knocked

“Come in, May.” Shaw spoke. I opened the door to a man tied up in shaws plush, leather office chair spilling blood from several wounds on his face

“My abilities have not quite done the job on this one and I don't want to kill him without getting some information out first.” Shaw whispered to me before turning to him

“Meet my beloved partner, May.” He said to the man, I held back my anger caused by being called Shaw's ‘beloved partner’ which I felt the opposite of. I felt more like the man in the chair than like a partner.

 “She will show you a kind of pain you have never felt before.” he grinned as he got up close to the man "I've gone easy on you but she wont” He made me sound like I was evil. Maybe I was, I let Shaw do some terrible things because I was afraid of him. I hoped this man was stronger than me, that he would resist whatever Shaw wanted him to do. I pitied him, he would probably die today. Then I pitied myself, I might be the one to have to kill him. 

Shaw motioned for me to take the stage. When I hesitated he raised his hand and showed me the ring on his finger, turning the dial ever so slightly. I broke out in a sweat immediately and looked between Shaw and the man. I had no idea who he was or what he had that Shaw wanted. As the electricity subtly increased, I finally stepped toward the man and raised my hands. I felt his blood moving through his body, he looked at me nervously, eyes flashing in fear. I had practiced torture before, Shaw kept me busy. I knew what hurt, what was effective. I pulled his blood to gather in his head. The man groaned and his face went red, then I sucked the blood out of it. Completely white and panting I felt his body temperature rise and he began sweating. His eyes lulled in his head and his neck stopped supporting his head. Although this was painful it wasn't nearly as bad as what I could do. I looked towards Shaw, hoping he would interrupt me and I wouldn't have to go any further. Shaw didn't spare me a glance. He stared at the man with determination. “More!” he told me. The man whined quietly.

I stalled for just a moment before pulling and prodding at the blood in him, separating cells from each other, creating space between itself. It was practically ripping him apart without actually ripping him apart. I could have ripped him apart if I added even a little bit more space between. All the systems in his body could not run. He gagged and choked obscenely. I cringed as blood began to drip slowly from his mouth and a drop came down each nostril. The veins bulging in his eyes made him look like he was bleeding out there too. His hand shook where it was tied on the armchair and he gurgled, his voice coming out in incoherent mumbles, trying to speak. Shaw raised his hand as a sign to stop. I let his blood rest and return to its natural business. It was slow to recover but soon his body was running again and he was in control “Stop stop Ill tell you.” The man screamed to me. Shaw straightened up and smiled to me. 

“I can always count on you.” he looked so pleased. I couldn't blame the man for giving in. He wouldn't be the first person I got to cave.

“So tell me, where are they?”

“Theyre having a meeting at the courthouse with the CIA” He panted in between words. 

“When?” Shaw leaned over him

The man paused and his face crumpled before he answered “8:00 pm. tonight”

Shaw stood and turned to me and picked up the cup off his desk “Perfect. I was just hoping to make some evening plans. Maybe we’ll stop for a drink after we send those mutants and the CIA a message” he smiled and sloshed the scotch in his glass.

I felt suddenly nauseous. He was talking about Charles, i realized. The man had just told Shaw where to find Charles and his team. Now, I wished that the man had been stronger, that he had not given in and fought me and the pain I was inflicting on him until it killed him. I was almost angry at him. He was putting them in danger, but looking at him I just felt sorry again. 

I felt like I might puke. Shaw pushed past me and went out calling to everyone to get going and to steer towards where the sub needed to go. I gulped and looked at the man who was panting heavily in his chair. I put my head in my hands and suppressed a dry sob. Anxiety and worry flooded through me suddenly and uncontrollably. My head pounded and I stumbled slightly. I had to put my hands on the desk to support myself. 

“Why are they meeting with the CIA? I asked the man quietly.

“Huh?” he was still trying to catch his breath

“why are they meeting with the CIA?” i repeated

“Theyre working together, Moira and Charles and the CIA. They're having a communications meeting. Making sure everyone's on the same page.”

“Will they be prepared? Guarded in any way?”

The man hesitated to tell me but glanced down at my hands fearfully and changed his mind “I doubt there will be any security, maybe a couple standard guards but its not likely. Really they are just meeting in an office building to talk things out. It's mostly unofficial, I think it will just be the four of them with a couple government operatives.”

“The four of them?”

“Moira, Charles, Erik, and Raven…” 

I reeled again. With just the three of them and whoever Moira was, the likelihood that they'll beat us was slim. They hadn't lost last time or the time before, most likely only because they had surprised us, and because they had an entire team of mutants. This time they wouldn't have either of those to their advantage. They were going to die if I didn't do something about it. 

I ran out of the room to the hustle of everyone preparing to leave. I grabbed a jacket and left with everyone else.

During the journey from the submarine to the courthouse, I reached for Charles with my mind. I had never willingly done this but right now I was desperate to make contact with him. My brain reached out into the space around me like tendrils, seeking out his mind. After not too long I reached him. He hadn't sensed me yet and his brain didn't seem to recognize mine immediately. But then I felt his mind realize and it grabbed on firmly and securely to mine and the pressure in my skull began its dull lul. 

“Charles! We're coming! You have to get out of there!” I spoke in my mind before he had the chance to ask me anything. 

“May? What's going on? Why are you here?” His voice rang out in my head. I could feel him tense at my message.

“Shaw found out about your meeting, he's going to attack you while you are unprepared! Please, you have to go!” I pleaded with him. 

“How much time do we have?” 

The car stopped. We pulled to the front of a tall stone building in the middle of the city. 

“Now Charles! We're here now!” We filed out of the car and a car pulled up behind us with several of Shaw's hired soldiers with big guns and protective vests.

Shaw busted through the door. Several of our weaponed men went up the stairwell while Shaw walked straight through the main lobby and to the elevator. All of us mutants packed in behind him. As we got further up the floors I felt mine and Charles' connection get stronger. He hadn't gotten out of the building yet and with our men coming up any possible exits, I was afraid he never would. We reached the 6th floor and the elevator dinged. The doors opened and a few of our men stood waiting for us. Down the hall they were pointing guns into an open door with light pouring out of it. In an instant the barrels of the guns bent and twisted and I thanked Erik for his useful mutation. 

“Charles, you have to go out the window, it's the only way. Once I'm too close I'll have to use my powers to keep you here.”

 He didn't reply but I knew he heard me. His heart was beating quickly but he didn't seem as afraid as he should be. I felt Raven and Erik beside him too, there were three others in the room as well. I felt with my powers as all of them stepped slowly backward. Charles must have passed on the message because just before I got a step inside the room, a loud crash sounded and the glass from the window exploded out into the night air. 

Shaw yelled out “Stop them! Get outside.”

I ran for the window to make sure they were alright. Each of them was hanging off of the metal gutter that Erik was bending to lower them to the ground.

 Charles and I caught each other's eyes briefly, his hair fanning out with the air blowing as he came towards the ground. I was momentarily stunned by how piercing his gaze was from this far up. 

Shaw stumbled behind me pushing towards the window through the soldiers grabbing one of the few undamaged guns out of a mans hands and aiming it down towards his enemies escaping. It shot a hole through the thin metal of the gutter and I felt it pierce Raven in the stomach. She screamed out and dropped the remaining two floors, unable to hold on to the gutter with her gunwound causing her blood system to rush around wildly in her body. It gushed from the wound immediately. I felt her body as it hit the ground, her brian banging against her skull causing a concussion and a few bones might have shattered, fortunately most of the force landed on her ankle and kept her head injury from becoming too serious from what I could tell.

 A second shot fired next to me and one of the CIA agents who was in the room dropped after her. This time the bullet entered his skull and I felt the life slip from him. I strained to see as Charles and Erik and the woman, who must have been Moira, reached the ground next to Raven. Charles’ heart was pounding now. I saw him crouch over raven and scoop her up before he made a mad dash down the street. Moira, dressed nicely and helping Erik carry the dead man along with them, were not far behind.

People were shouting down below. Pedestrians jumped out of the way of them as they pushed through the people in their way. Only 10 seconds later, Shaw's men came out of the building. Only four or five, none of them mutants. There was an actual chance of them escaping. A big black car swerved down the street and skidded to a stop further up where Charles threw Raven in and the others all jumped in behind him. The car quickly took off before any of the armed men could get too close. 

Shaw was quiet, I couldn't tell if he was angry or not. He had only wanted to send them a message really, He felt it a waste to kill off mutants that he would probably try and recruit later. And we had done some damage, one dead, and another severely injured. How could he complain? but Shaw was never one to be satisfied with something so minimal. I waited for him to speak but he only turned and made his way out of the room

I followed behind him almost timidly. I wasn't sure what to do. All I did was stay about five paces away, not in his way but not too far away either. We got back on the elevator, the whole team with us. We went down back to the cars and finally Shaw said something

“Hopefully, we scared them off enough to get them off of our backs. If not I'll have to stop them for good…” 

I let out a silent puff of air. He wasn't angry, he didn't seem happy, though he seemed ok with the situation for the time being. And Charles was alive! That was more than I could have hoped. Although I felt terrible for Raven, and for the man who had died. It was quick, and from what I could tell he did not feel any pain before it ended. It was just a shame that I couldn't save him too. Now I worried for Raven. When I had sensed her with my powers she wasn't in good condition. Bleeding out all over her clothes, heart, incredibly slow for someone who had just jumped out the window. Her brain systems were frazzled and I could tell her concussion caused a small amount of brain damage. I fidgeted in the car as we drove back. If I was there I could help Raven with her bullet wound, even reverse some of the head trauma. But I wasn't there. 

I kept thinking until we had made it back, Shaw kept true to his word and went straight to the mini bar in his office. Frost followed him in there and I hoped the man who I had tortured and would be waiting there would be alright. I walked quickly to my room and went straight to my bed without even bothering to turn on the lights and get ready to sleep. Because I wasn't going to sleep.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC pt.8

This chapter is a little more serious and exhibits mental and physical abuse. Please don't read if that is something you are sensitive about. If you are being abused please seek help

Also, there's no Charles interactions in this bit so I'll be doing two parts today so yall can get what you came here for!!

WARNINGS FOR ENTIRE STORY: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

Once we got back to the submarine Shaw confronted me.

“You know, I don't keep you here just for you lie to me. If I knew this was going to be an issue I wouldn't have brought you with me.”

I felt my anger rise up. How dare he. Emma took the opportunity to leave the room. 

“You're the one who made me come with you! Or did you forget that night you kidnapped me?” I glared, speaking softly but firm. My nostrils flared and fists balled at my sides

Shaw tisked

“And where would you be if I hadn't hmm? On the streets? You probably would have been killed after snapping at the wrong person. We all know that temper of yours gets you into trouble.” He came up face to face with me. “I wont hesitate to kill you if you become useless to me, you know?” He waited for a response which I did not, could not give him just yet. My jaw clenched, I swore I could taste blood in my mouth. I had to calm myself before I could answer him. Otherwise I would sound defensive. 

“How come you didn't sense them huh? I asked you, remember?” He walked up to me patronizingly. “You told me no one was there,”

I swallowed, my anger still palpable, but my worry for Charles and myself stronger

“I didn't feel them. They must have figured out how to block my powers from feeling their blood.” I lied. He might believe me. Thank god Frost had left otherwise he might have asked her if I was lying or not. He seemed to have other points to bring up instead of calling her back in. 

“And what of you being so helpless for the rest of the fight huh? Crumpled in the corner? Why didn't you use your Goddamned mind to stop them?” He asked. He wasn't yelling and that unsettled me even more than he usually did. 

“I hit my head! I could barely breathe! You can't expect me to be able to do that” I told the truth this time. I really wasn't able to use my powers on a scale like that yesterday. I could barely even keep myself conscious to stop the blood from spilling out of me.

“Except I can! That is your purpose.” He paused again “You have a job. You defend me. If you dont, then what point do you have?” 

I was silent. Seething but mostly scared. He was close to becoming physical. I had learned the signs. Red face, the vein in his forehead popping out, the strangely calm demeanor, his finger fiddling with the golden ring on his finger. He seemed to want an answer, one that I didn't have. What did he want me to say? 

“Follow.” He stopped waiting for my response and turned into the hall. I cringed outwardly. I followed him into a small office that was mostly unused. I had been in here before though. Shaw turned towards me and grabbed my arm, roughly pulling me further into the office. And throwing me towards the wall. I braced but did not raise my hands to defend myself knowing better. A slap sounded and my face stung. My mind flashed to that day in the facility when I had nearly killed that woman. How I had jumped out of my chair to try and save her. How I actually had saved her. I brought her back to life and then she smacked me in the face. I was so shocked then. I had only been trying to do what I was told, I hadn't meant to hurt her, and yet she was so angry at me. Afraid of me. Shaw must have been afraid of me too. But Shaw was a mutant, he knew better than a human did that mutants were not something that mindlessly wanted to kill. Me included. I didn't want to kill anyone, I was just a little bit out of control of my abilities and an angry kid. But back then, he had pushed me too far on purpose. He was just waiting to see what I would do when brought passed my limit. And I could never forget what had happened to Lou because of his selfishness. He was trying to make her something even more useful to him and ended up killing her instead. I was almost jealous. At least she didn't have to carry on, still living under Shaw's command doing terrible things for him. But more than that I wished she could have gotten out. The both of us, running away and finding a way to live in the world after being separated from it for so long. It would have been hard but I bet we would have gotten by. Instead one of us was dead and the other confused and lost and hopeless. 

 Shaw didn't say anything else. He only hit me for a few minutes. The ring on his fingers stung when his first landed but the reminder of how it felt to be shocked when he turned on that ring was enough to make it bearable. I was surprised with the speed that he finished up and left me at.

 I took a moment to pick myself back up. Things could be much worse. He didn't shock me at all. I only hoped that he didn't see through my lie. He seemed too busy with planning and connecting with potential allies, probably a little too itchy to get on with his plan to waste time on punishing me. Things were going well for his plan. I'm sure he was also happy that I was alive, even if he said I was useless, I knew how much he needed me. The fact that I had made it out of the parking garage alive was impressive and I'm sure he was elated that he hadn't lost his best weapon.

 I was still shocked from the flashbacks I had had when he slapped me, I had been reduced to a shivering child once again. Shaw never failed to remind me of who I had become. Even my anger had simmered down to be a tiny fraction of what it used to be. He had taken so much out of me.

 I took note of the damage done. A swollen eye, bloody nose, small cut on my cheek and a couple bruises on my arms. I stayed curled up for a little while, unsure if Shaw was actually done with me or if he was planning on  coming back. I figured it would be better to stay in the office for a little longer just in case he stumbled upon me in the hallway and got angry again. 

After it got dark I snuck to my bathroom. I took a peak in the mirror. My hair was ratty and my clothes were absolutely caked in dust and blood. I scabbed over the cut and lessened the swelling in my eye with my powers. It had already started to bruise so I increased blood flow to get the bursted blood vessels to heal quicker. I would look like normal in just a couple days. Then I peeled the bandages that Charles’ friends had wrapped me up in off my back. The cut in the side of my head looked well taken care of. I took a moment to recreate the scabs and helped my blood to do its job so that it would heal quickly. It wouldn't stop it from scarring but that was fine.

The scrape on my back looked slightly worse although just as well tended to. The skin was inflamed and was burning red. I stretched around to see it in the mirror. It spanned across my entire lower back and the damage got deeper near the top where I had slumped against the wall. There wasn't much to do about it. It wasn't bleeding at all and didn't look deep enough to cause any issues so I only dried the blood lightly and pushed out the dirt and grime that was embedded into it so that my body could rebuild the skin underneath. I touched it delicately with my fingers but I didn't feel much except for the pressure. I realized the balm must have worked to numb the pain slightly and silently thanked Charles and his friends again for pulling me out of the parking garage and helping me. I hadn't been taken care of by anyone but myself since Lou. It felt nice (even though they were reluctant to help) to be cared for.

I got in the shower to clean myself of the sweat and grime from the past events. I felt the sting of my injuries as the balm washed off, confirming my suspicion that it acted as a painkiller. I tried my best to ignore the burning. Running my fingers over my neck and spine, I felt the devices that Shaw had attached to me. After a couple weeks of forcing me to help him and me trying to resist him with the original collar on, it began causing significant damage to my skin from the burning, the low tech device tended to overheat after long periods of time with a high voltage. A red burn scar had formed. You usually didn't see it these days unless I got angry or cried, then it would flare up bright and angry. The skin was slightly shiny and looked like small water ripples where it had burned and sometimes it got tender, even now in the shower I could feel a slight tingle there. Shaw didn't like the smell that it made when my skin burned and had some handy new toys he wanted to test out on me. The devices were installed. 

I had been held down and sedated so that my mind was too foggy to use my powers. They cut my skin open in three spots, two, behind my ears near the base of my skull and one over one of the vertebrae of my spine. They attached a metal wire to each bit of bone which connected to the device that would sit above my skin. Once all this had been done they stitched up the skin around the chips. The shock was attached directly to my bones as opposed to the collar I had previously worn. This shook my very system and as you can guess, was extremely painful. They were not very visible underneath my hair but if you looked you could spot them, black and shiny. The skin would sometimes flare up and get itchy but that was the least of my worries. They were too deep into my skin for me to get a grip on with my hands, and since they were attached to the bone I couldn't force them out of my body using my blood. I would have ripped them out years ago if I could

 I dropped my hands from my neck and they fell down to my sides. Letting the water drip down my body and warm me. I felt a wave of exhaustion wash over me suddenly. I could barely keep my eyes open so I got out of the shower. The exhaustion of the past day must have been finally kicking in and it was hitting me full force. I got into clean clothes. I brushed through my tangled hair, the most attention I had given it in who knew how long and brushed my teeth. I settled in once again and thought about Charles like I did more and more these days. I had given up forcing him out due to the consistency of him popping up in my thoughts. I felt my shoulders where he had last touched me and sighed again. The idea of someone touching me out of concern like he had had become completely foreign to me. It had been so long since someone had touched me without any bad intentions. I wanted to feel him again.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES XAVIER X OC PT.7

PLEASE READ PREVIOUS PARTS FOR WARNINGS!!!

Part IV

Mays Point of view:

I woke up. I didn't open my eyes yet though. I felt slow, like I had just slept a little bit too well for it to be normal and my mind still felt slightly unaware. It felt almost like the first night I had met Charles. Except I was in pain.

 I tried to figure out who was near me. Several voices talked to one another. I reached out with my powers to see if I could recognize them but I strained, my brain foggy and unsharp. “I don't understand why she's here? This is something that could completely derail the entire mission.” said a man's voice, he felt familiar but It wasn't someone I knew well.

“Shut up. He knows what he's doing.” someone replied. This heartbeat also familiar, one I had felt before.

“I'm not so sure.” Said the first voice again

I felt myself attached to an IV and I could feel that my head had been bandaged and I remembered where I had been just before this. I kept my hands still and tried to feel out the people in the room. I could tell they were mutants, their blood pulsing quicker, stronger, thicker more than a human’s would. I could always differentiate between a human and a mutant. Suddenly a few others entered the room and I mentally face palmed for missing their approach, I was out of it a little more than I thought I was

“Is she still unconscious?” a girl said

“She hasnt stirred.” said the voice I had heard before

I felt a body come up next to me. The next thing I knew, the seemingly more frequent connection between mine and Charles' mind occurred again, startling me.

“Pretending to be asleep are we?” He said aloud. My eyes flew open and made contact with his. His hand dropped from his temple as his eyes crinkled warmly. For a moment all I could focus on was the sharpness of those blue eyes. He had a pleasant expression on his face as he looked down at me. He was so close to me, his arms leaning on the bed beside me. I let out a shaky breath I had been holding before looking around at the others near me. Mostly the people who had gone on the mission with Charles the last two times we had met. Erik, the man who had pinned me to the wall with his metal manipulating powers, had a quicker heart rate than that of the others, although all of them seemed to be on edge. All but Charles. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked me warmly. I sat up in the bed and groaned inwardly at the slight ache in my back and head that made itself known as I moved. 

“Fine, yeah.” I replied. Charles smiled, pleased with my answer. “Are you concussed?” he pushed further

“Probably.” I said shortly. I felt even more on edge than the rest of these people did. All of them had reason to kill me. Even in my poor state I wasn't worried of getting hurt if someone came at me, I would be able to stop them. I would not have the concentration to let their blood remain flowing in their bodies though and worried that I may kill them by accident. With that said, I would have preferred not to start a fight. I wasn't quite sure why I was here at all. This was a very dangerous situation for me. Not to mention Shaw must be wondering where I was and would be even more angry with the fact that I hadn't alerted him immediately. Though, they might have thought I was dead if they hadn't looked at my devices and saw my charts, as well as my location. The fact was, I shouldn't be here. Something both sides would agree on. Everyone seemed to think so except Charles. Shaw would not be pleased to know I was here with them and not attacking. If I could get back to the parking garage then Shaw would eventually pick me up after he thought it was safe to return, they could pick me up. But if he saw I was here, wherever here was then Charles would be found out.

“I need to go,” I said, moving off the bed. It seemed that I was in a plane, fortunately we were not in flight and outside looked like Russia still.

“Wait no, you arent completely stable yet,” Said a tall boy standing near the monitor that was attached to me. Charles' strong hands guided my shoulders gently back onto the bed.

“No really,” I said, putting my hands on his wrists and subtly resisting.

“Darling, you nearly died. You need more time to recover, let us help you.” He said, his voice making my brain hum. I hesitated while also repressing butterflies in my stomach, before leaning back down. I couldn't say no to that face now, I could stay for just a moment longer. 

The scrape on my back had been bandaged and felt sticky, I flexed my hands, using my powers to make sure it wasn't my blood seeping out. Several people around the room jumped and lunged towards me. Erik put his hands up and came towards me like lightning with murder in his eyes.

“Wait, stop.” Charles’ hands flew up defensively as did mine, this caused even more commotion as Erik's hands came and slammed my arms down against the bed with my hands enclosed in his fists, my head ached trying to process how quickly things were going wrong. He took a moment to glare at me. He was rather intimidating I'll admit, not to mention very close to my face. I turned my head away feeling the fear bubble up, often Shaw gave me that same look, fear fueled fury, the need for control. Charles put a hand on Erik's shoulder who snapped up to face him. Charles’ brows furrowed and he gave Erik an understanding but firm look, tilting his head down slightly, to get him off of me. Erik glanced back at me once before backing off with a huff. 

“I just wanted to check the state of my back. I don't mean any harm” I said carefully

A girl with blond hair and a nice but cautious smile came to my side. “It's alright, everyone just needs to calm down” She glances at the others in the room

“Thankyou Raven,” Charles looks at her fondly “She's not going to hurt anyone…”

“How do you know?” a younger boy questioned with his hands folded in front of him

Charles paused and looked at me briefly with almost a questioning expression on his face before looking back at the boy. Only half a second had passed before he spoke again

“If she wanted to, she would have done it already.” Everyone looked around and acknowledged the truth of that statement. He was right of course. If I wanted to I could have been able to kill them all before they even knew I was awake, which was why I was especially worried about using my powers right now. I would kill them with too much ease, so much ease that it would be hard not to kill them. 

“You see?” Charles spoke again addressing the others “no need to fret.” He returned his gaze to me. “We applied a balm to help it stop any pain but it's not actively bleeding, you should be ok in a couple hours.”

“Thankyou,” I said sincerely “but I really do need to go now.” I pushed up again. “Shaw will be-”

“See? She's loyal to Shaw, Charles! She needs to be locked up.” Erik threw his hands around. I began to feel my anger flare up but suppressed it, my emotions would not help this situation deescalate.

“Erik, we don't have-” Charles was interrupted.

“No! You've put the whole team in danger bringing her here and we can't have her running off to shaw and telling him where we are and where to aim the nukes!” 

I saw a flash of hurt in Charles’ eyes that I couldn't help but feel responsible for. 

The blonde girl Raven spoke up before I could but in and explain. “Erik, calm down! She's clearly not actively trying to harm us! She's just sitting there.” She motioned to me. The team glanced at me and I saw several people swallow and rest their eyes on me, still nervous. “I- I don't want to kill you. But I really can't stay” I confirmed. I couldn't help but feel like Shaw's weapon again. Even with him who knows how far away, he still had a strong hold on me. Shaw had invested in a pair of high tech remote shock devices that worked from a pretty long distance, Id never gotten farther than his reach. Back when I tried to run off, the first few months after he kidnapped me, I had gotten pretty far. One night I thought that maybe I had made it past even their reach. But come morning I felt the buzzing, and then I was brought to my knees at the intensity of the shocks and laid helplessly while Shaw came to pick me up and return me to his side. He never stopped me from running, just reminded me that I would never actually escape. 

Those devices, which he had hooked up to a small screen as well as the remote in his ring, could notify him of my heart rate, when plugged into the monitor correctly, proving I had survived somehow. These little devices also contained trackers which could also be shown on the monitor when told to. I just prayed he didn't know what the location of my tracker meant, that he hadn't already checked. If he showed up then I knew what that meant for the people here, even if they got out of here quickly, I wasn't sure Shaw would be far behind. And Erik had been mostly right. I was, although not willingly, potentially giving Shaw the exact coordinates of where his enemies, the people actively trying to stop his plan and would now be a target, were. The only hope of him not finding out what was located where I was was for me to not linger and get back right away so he wouldn't even notice that I had ever left. I realized how selfish it would be to stay and let them take care of me, even if it was begrudgingly. No matter how much I wanted to be near Charles, putting him or his friends in danger was not alright.

I got up, wide eyed and worriedly pulling out the IV and causing a scab to form to keep me from bleeding on my clothes which were still tattered and dusty but in better shape than they should have been considering what had happened earlier. Charles reached for me to stop me from getting out of bed but I stood and stared him down. He recognised fear and determination in my eyes, so he stopped and put his arms down slowly. “Are you sure?’ he asked. His eyes pleaded for me to stay near. Careful and worried, sympathetic even. I almost broke again just at the sight of him. These people could help me. I could help them. And I craved to be near Charles. But not now I couldn't. If I went rogue now I really would compromise their mission and also their lives. Shaw would only follow me. “Yes. I'm sure.” I spoke firmly. Charles looked at me like he understood every feeling ive ever had, like he had read my mind and sifted through my memories and yet I still knew that that wasn't the case. He knew I was afraid. He could feel the nausea rise in my belly. He nodded at me and I took off past the curtains that had been set up around my medical bed. Erik and the blonde boy objected and called to Charles as he followed me out of the space. “What's wrong?” He said once he had caught up to my quick strides. I glanced around the plane looking for an exit. He took my arm and guided me down the aisle walking quickly. I followed even though I wasn't sure if he was taking me to an exit or somewhere they could lock me up. I trusted him and my mind was buzzing again slightly at the feeling of his hand on my arm.

“Shaw will find you if I stay here.” I said rushedly. He furrowed his brows looking intensely at the floor before turning me around a small corner. In front of us was an exit. Outside it was mostly dark “How?” he asked and stopped me once we got a few feet away. Both of his hands rested on my shoulders. He ducked his head slightly to be level with me and searched my eyes. I reached for my neck to feel where the devices were embedded in my neck, about to explain before I looked outside and saw the night coming, time moving quicker than I had expected. Too quick. “No time.” I moved for the door but he held me back and forced our eyes together again.

“Fine, don't tell me. But please May, stay safe” He looked at me so earnestly that it took my breath away. My throat closed before I nodded at him.

“Thankyou, for saving me, Charles. And your friends.” I said genuinely, feeling like I should match his kindness and vulnerability. He had brought me here in order to keep me safe despite the risks and It was the most anyone had done for me since I had gone to the institution and been with Lou.

He smiled at me, taking my breath away again, before nudging his head in the direction of the door, urging me to go. 

“Follow the road just out East that way, and then walk along the freeway. You'll run into the parking garage but dont go too close, I'm sure the authorities will have been notified about its collapse by now.” He directed. I was grateful I didn't even have to ask. “Good luck may.”

I breathed out once more while we looked into each other's eyes and then I gave in and went for the door, his hands slipping away.

Once I was out into the cool air I went down a small set of stairs that had been set up at the exit. I glanced back at the plane, military grade, yet it felt oddly homey in there. It drew me back although I knew it wasnt the plane that was drawing me back, it was Charles who was stood still at the open door watching me go. We looked at each other silently. I let out a breath of air and glanced at my feet before I kept going.

Once a little ways away from the plane and down the first road I felt myself finally be able to breath normally. My brain stopped itching to reconnect to Charles once I got a ways down the side of the freeway. I started to miss the sensation when It wasnt present. I shivered at the loss and felt a little naked somehow. At least, with Charles' brain attached to my own, I didn't feel so lonely. Now, it was just me In the dark on an empty gravel road with the sound of loud cars and honking on the other side of the large fence to my left. Soon It would be me with Shaw and that would be much much worse. I couldn't help but think about how this was the first time I had been on my own since I had last tried to run away and here I was making my way back to the man responsible for that. But what choice did I have? After perhaps an hour of walking, I saw the obliterated parking garage, police lights flashing like Charles had warned me. I sat myself on a curb across the street and checked myself for any proof that I had been helped by Charles. I peeled the bandage off the side of my head and redirtied my face with the soil next to me. I waited for a couple more hours, the police slowly leaving until it was just me. Shaw's car eventually pulled up and I picked myself off of my sore butt and got into the SUV, feeling numb.

“Glad to see you made it out alive.” Shaw said from the passenger seat. I hummed in response, If it weren't for Charles then I wouldn't have, But Shaw could never know that. Azezel patted me on the shoulder from the back seat, the gesture as comforting as it could be coming from him.

“Lots to do, May. We have Lots to do” Shaw smiled menacingly facing forward making me shiver.

[werrrrrd]

Will you be updating your story? :)

Yes! Expect the next part tonight! I've just been doing some editing, sorry for the wait.

[werrrrrd]

CHARLES X OC pt.6??

Part III of post prologue

WARNINGS: shock therapy, manipulation, death, suicide, surgery is mentioned including an undetailed description, stitches, slight malnutrition, forcive murder, abuse of authority, blood, lots of blood stuff since this is like her power, anger issues, aggression, mentions of murder as well as the actual murder, mind reading, OC is not very kind to herself sometimes, let me know if you notice any others. No sexual assault but definitely Shaw being creepy.

CHARLES’ POV YALL

“Charles?” her voice sounded in my mind weakly but alarmingly. I didn't even have to force my connection to her brain, it just stayed attached. Erik pushed her against the wall pretty hard. We had planned this out, not the banging May against the wall part, but the, making sure May didn't use her powers to completely immobilize us part, which we had not accounted for last time around. I knew that even though she hadn't told on me yesterday I couldn't be sure we could count on her to keep her powers to herself. Although there was still that urge to trust her. I had to ignore it though, for the sake of my team. But I couldn't check up on her more than just a glance in her direction. 

This was important, more important than my odd, unexplainable attachment the girl who was working for the man trying to start a nuclear war and rule a mutant supremacist society. So instead I fought with the various mutants, trying to make my way to Shaw. Not to mention I had the team to check up on during this whole thing. I had to say, they were fighting phenomenally well. Our training had only just begun training and I couldn't be sure if they were ready for this challenge, but they were proving themselves to do well under pressure and I couldn't have been more proud. 

Shaw seemed to be retreating and the whole team defended him while they slowly crawled near to the car. It seemed even without May, they were a powerful group. Unfortunately they had been able to get into the car and drive off, avoiding the blasts that Alex shot at the car. His aim needed some improvement but he did exceptionally well and was probably quite exhausted after the damage he had done to the parking garage. 

But once I heard her voice I realized the terrible danger she must be in with the whole thing threatening to come crashing down on us. 

“Erik! With me.” I called to Erik. We ran back towards where the fight had started. I called out to the others “Get out from under the garage! It's coming down!” 

Raven followed us worriedly. “What are we doing?” she asked as I sprinted towards the corner that May was trapped in, dodging fires and rubble. The smoke made my eyes sting and the heat made me sweat in my suit. The ceiling above us lurched and I prayed that we would make it to her and out of the garage in time. Then I could see her, crumpled and unmoving on the floor. My heart started pounding. I reached out to her in my mind

“May? May can you hear me? I'm coming.” If she heard it she didn't respond which worried me even more. Her body was bent at an uncomfortable angle due to the metal attached at her wrists, pinning her to the wall.

“Erik, undo the bars!” I yelled to him as we neared. Erik raised his hand and unbent the metal, pulling it out of the wall. Her body went limp and she fell forward onto the floor. I reached for any current thoughts inside her head but there was nothing, I couldn't even sense the pain she must have been feeling. Once I reached her I slid onto my knees to scoop her up. Raven and Erik behind me glanced at each other but didn't say anything. 

Raven knew that I would do this for anyone. She didn't know that this was more than just my beliefs that no one deserved to die, I really could not let May die here even if it would cause terrible risk to me.

 I couldn't figure out what it was about her. I had been wondering for the past few weeks why she was plaguing my thoughts. I had my mind under incredible control, I believed, and then one interaction with her and suddenly I was losing sleep and losing focus on the extremely important task I was in charge of. I had tried several times to reach her mind despite the distance, I could never quite reach her. 

We had figured out Shaw would be meeting here today from outside sources. I was simultaneously happy to see her and also unhappy that she was with Shaw, helping him potentially kill millions of people in a nuclear war. But seeing her like this, all bloody, dust caked onto her wounds, caused an oddly strong and unignorable reaction in my gut, I felt like puking and my heart fluttered in worry. All my frustration at the fact that she was on the bad side vanished and all I felt was the responsibility of taking care of her, getting her to safety.

Once I had her in my arms I went for the open window and maneuvered the two of us out of the building. She hung limply as we ran further out from the building, Raven and Erik still following close behind. Crashing sounded behind us and we ducked into a ditch about a hundred feet out while the parking garage came crumbling down. We sat with our backs against one side of the ditch as the dust passed over us, a couple loose bits of concrete rolling or some even shooting into the ditch like bullets. We breathed hard, trying to catch our breaths, May sat tucked safely in my lap. The wound on her head didn't look so good and I noticed a good helping of blood seeping out of her back as well. After a little more time in the fresh air, I hoped that her lungs would filter out the smoke soon. Until then, we needed to get home quickly where we could give her medical attention and make sure all was right. I looked to my right at Erik and to my left at Raven and nodded at them before huffing and lifting May out of the ditch. I jogged over to the helicopter where the rest of the team was waiting worriedly for us. “Would you like to explain what's going on?” Erik peered at me as we got to the helicopter.

“In a second, first we need to get home.” I surveyed the kids, “is everyone ok? Nobody is hurt are they?” I asked, looking at each person individually. They all shook their heads and glanced at Shaw's ally in my arms. I waved off the questions and ordered everyone onto the Helicopter. Once we had taken off and were on our way to the mansion I gave another go at her mind.

“May? Can you hear me?”  her mind still seemed completely blank, I was tempted to look into her memories. I just wanted to understand her. Why was she working for Shaw, and why, If she was working for Shaw, did she help me? Twice this time. When she had told Shaw that no one was there I stopped in my tracks. It was one thing to betray your leader once, that could be excused. But the fact that she had done it again told me there was more to their relationship. When I had gone through her mind that first time on Shaws yacht I could tell there was hesitance in her when following his orders but I had not found out exactly the reason for that tension. And I couldn't figure out what it was without going into her memories more thoroughly. I was so close to entering them that I could practically feel the anxiety and fear radiating off of her past thoughts and experiences. I snapped out of her brain before I saw anything I shouldn't. As tempted as I was, I didn't want her to be angry with me. Instead I distracted myself with holding her. I tucked her head under my chin, being wary of the wound on the other side. I felt the craving to have her close to me take effect and I shifted her further up my lap so that she was pressed up against my chest.

 I really could not understand why I needed to be so close to her but the relief I felt once she was near and I could feel the shallow breathing puffing up her lungs over and over was enough to justify it for now.Till we got home I could calm myself to the sound of her heart beat and then I could do something about her fragile state.

AN: THREE POSTS IN A DAY BRO!! IM ACTUALLY ON FIRE!