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Dear Oliver

By: Criselle Bolante & Wesley Paligar

HU12

It was indeed a chilly morning. As usual, I started preparing myself to school. It’s not just an ordinary day to me though; it’s my first day on my new school.

Yes I know, transferring from schools suck. Well maybe it's just me because I'm not that sociable at all. I have social problems, not that I'm ill or what but I've always been bullied.

Can you imagine having new set of bullies from every new school?

That actually happened to me before, but I hope this time it's different. I want to start something new. I want to stop getting hurt and getting beaten around like a fucking rag doll. I want people to stop hurting me and making me bleed like a pig.

Sometimes I question the world about what I've done to deserve all of this- on why people have to be so cruel ,unfair and insensitive. Despite all of this, there's always something inside me. A spark that calls for hope that keeps me on continuing my life and believing that not all people are bad, that some people really do care and that's also the thing that keeps me on moving from place to place in hopes of finding the place where I really belong, a place in which I can call home.

Home, this word brought a myriad of thoughts inside my head. I suddenly felt my chest tightening and there was a lump forming at the back of my throat. The bitter coldness of the weather isn't helping at all. One person came into my mind and it was my mother.

My mother was someone who doesn't deserve to be remembered at all. When I was just an infant, I was neglected by my mother who was pregnant during her teenage years. I was a mistake. She threw me at a dump. I was actually about to die but someone was able to find and rescue me. I was brought to a charity home that raises kids. It was a charity home run by religious nuns. They’ve raised and fed me well enough until such time when things changed.

During my teenage years, my behaviour was not similar to that of the ordinary boys. I was attracted to the same sex that I've had. I had minor crushes. I know that this is not natural at all and this doesn't have to reach the nuns. I was taught religiously that boys must be boys and girls must be girls. Not long after, the nuns figured it out. I remembered the horrified look on Sister Martina's face when she found out I was gay.

I think I've had enough. I don't despise God nor hate him but this is who I am and I believe that He made me like this and that he loves me for who I am and no one can change that. It's not that I'm an ungrateful child but I've decided to escape the charity and live my own life alone. I've roamed around the streets without anything in hand and was exposed to the cruelty of the world. I won't forget that time, that memory will haunt me forever.

*flashback*

I was on the streets. Half-passed out and dying of great hunger. I already accepted that I would die when a boy with brown hair and piercing blue eyes suddenly went to me and gave me a loaf of bread after seeing me in that state. He was an angel; the loaf of bread that he gave me was the only thing I have. I started eating the bread, tears streaming down my eyes and my heart thumping with gratitude. I wasn't able to speak. "Hey Caelan let's go!" said a woman who was with the boy. From that moment on, the name Caelan never left my mind.

*end of flashback*

I realized that it's already getting late and I would probably be late for school if I didn't hurry enough. Erie High School was a 15 minute walk away from the apartment I was dwelling in. I grabbed my old bike and started my way to school. The slippery road wasn't helping at all. Fortunately I've reached my destination on time. The school’s atmosphere seems to be really refreshing and unnerving at the same time. There was a change of view of course since this is a new school for me. But there was something that makes my stomach clench on its own.

“Nothing new” I thought to myself. There were students in groups; there were jocks, nerds and bitches. Of course there would be a social hierarchy…. What was I expecting? Pure bunch of nerds who doesn't give a fuck about something except for studying and getting straight A's?? I parked my ragged bike to the side of the building and started my way towards the school's hall.

It was the epitome of awkwardness. If looks could kill, I would unrecognizably dead by now perhaps?? The school's population is surprisingly small and I think seeing new faces are something that would eventually become apparent and obvious. Nevertheless, I got my schedule and started locating my first class. I was lost not long after. I don't want to ask help from somebody so I went on with my own. I have finally managed to find it but I was 10 minutes late though.

"Good morning ma’am" I said while heaving breathlessly. "Take your seat" she said without looking at me. "Oliver Scullion right?" she asked while looking straight at me, stopping me on my way. "Yes ma’am"

I replied. I made my way to the only vacant chair at the back when I felt a sudden sharp pain on my right ankle. Before I knew it, I was sprawled face flat on the floor.

Fuck it. This will leave a bruise for sure. I looked back to see who tripped me. It was a tall and thin boy with a smug look on his face. That annoying smirk of his would be something I would like to erase on the face.

"Jasper stop" said the professor. So that jerk's name is Jasper huh?? I helped myself recover and hurriedly went to my chair. My lips were so painful. It started bleeding and I tried licking it off. "Ugh" that familiar rusty taste engorged my taste buds. It kept on bleeding and it seems that it won't stop. I tried looking around to find something that would help a bit and saw the most beautiful eyes in the world. It was oddly familiar.

It belongs to the guy seated next to me whom I haven’t noticed since I entered the room. He has light brown hair and piercing blue eyes. He was kinda tall and was quite muscular, lean and beefy. "Here" he gave me a piece of band aid and a small handy pack of cotton balls. “Uuhm thanks!” I thanked him shyly. I felt myself face warm up and before I knew it I was blushing red as a tomato.

"Caelan at your service" he smiled. Why does his name sound familiar? It seems like I already know him. I nodded awkwardly. “Hey I'm Oliver and I-I'm new here" I stuttered. "I see, there aren't that many students in this school and you've been talked about before you even entered the gate" He wiggled his eyebrows and beamed at me. That smile, it warms the coldest of hearts.

The bell rung and it was time for the next class. I started fixing my stuff immediately. I started looking around but Caelan was nowhere to be found. I guess I shouldn't attach myself to people that much.

My day continued with the most boring classes ever. But I can't remove the smile of my face after realizing that Caelan was indeed that angelic boy who rescued me from starvation. I don't think he would remember me anyway. I wish he would. I rode my bike on my way home and started sleeping early. There was some sort of motivation inside me after knowing that I've seen Caelan once again. I couldn't sleep; I kept thingking all the things that happened to me today. “Maybe I could talk to him again tomorrow” I said to myself. Luckily I still drifted off to sleep despite my bothered mind. I woke up anxiously, getting myself ready and going off.

The random stares from the old students are still there though. I guess it's just normal since it's just my 2nd day as a transferee. I scanned the halls for any sign of Caelan since I really wanted to talk to him.

Searching desperately for Caelan I bumped into some bulky figure . " Watch out loser" a deep mocking voice called out. He grabbed me by my collar and I reflexively closed my eyes and braced myself for a possible punch.

Miraculously a narrow nasal voice called out "Will, we don't have time for that. Get your ass over here!”

"Fuck off Xavier, I wanna give this loser a piece of my mind" replied Will. " Will. Just stop it. We don't have time for that and we still have something TO DO.”

Not long after, they finally left me. I breathe a sigh.

My nightmare's happening again. I was expecting a new life away from all the pain the moment I transferred from this school.

But everything seems to be turning the opposite way.

Fortunately I found Caelan on his lockers. I don't think it's the right time to talk to him though. I just feel like I'm about to cry. I was planning on greeting him on the way then going off on my own when he stopped me on my tracks.

"Hey Oliver! Do you have plans later?" Caelan asked quite enthusiastically.

"I guess I don't have? Why'd you ask?" I responded curiously.

"U-uhm can you come with me later this afternoon? Perhaps you don't have something to do? Would you mind if I invite you?" He started scratching his head and he was actually blushing. He can't look at my eyes though.

I can't stop giggling inside. Caelan wanted to hang out with me?! Seriously?! " Yea sure, ye-yeah" I stammered. I was expecting Caelan to be happy since I've accepted his invitation but I've seen worry in his eyes instead. From that moment, I knew something was wrong. I asked him if everything was ok. He said he was fine. Then we parted ways.

I can't wait to go home and prepare myself.

I started wearing the most comfortable yet presentable clothes I have and in a flash I was in Borough bridge, the agreed meeting place with Caelan.

Caelan was wearing a black shirt which in my opinion was quite odd. I don't really think he's that type of person that likes to wear black

I was walking towards him with his back against me .When something covered my nose and mouth. The texture seems similar to that off a handkerchief but it's kinda wet and it has a sharp scent on it. I struggled and struggled knowing that they might kidnap me. But with no luck, my vision started blurring and and I felt really drowsy. Everything went blank.

"Ouch, where am I?" I moaned in pain. Every tissue in my body hurts like hell. Then I hear whispers, those voices. They're familiar and I'm certain that they're from my school. "HEEEEEELP" I screamed at the top of my lungs. If they are from my school then that means I might have a chance of surviving!

The air was dense and the place reeks of Earth. This looks like an abandoned basement. I was tied to a wooden chair with my hands in cuffs.

Four familiar figures emerged from the door and to my surprise it was Jasper, Will, Xavier and Ca-Caelan?

"Caelan what's happening? where am I?”

"Shut up faggot, you deserve some good ass whopping.”

"Knew you were a faggot who's in desperate need of date."

I can't believe what's happening right now. Those words were coming out from Caelan's mouth. This must be a dream! A nightmare! Impossible!

His once angelic eyes were replaced with menacing ones instead Glaring at me so intensely as if his ultimate goal was to kill me.

His rage tore my heart into pieces. As if it has not been torned many times before. It was crushed into fine pieces like that of the sand.

A strong punch landed on my stomach, then another one but this one was undeniably stronger. I was kicked by the side and the wooden chair I was sitting came tumbling with me.

Fits of mocking laughter could be heard from across the room. It was from the three guys. That stood behind Caelan.

Oh good Lord. Please don't tell me that Caelan was with these 3 jerks all this time!!!

"S-s-stop C-Caelan. Please .stop." I pleaded.

My mouth was filled with the taste of rust and I know I might die anytime soon. I'm fucking bleeding.

I was kicked, punched, slapped and spoken harsh verbal words. And every second was unbearable. Of all people, Caelan was the one who's doing everything. What did I do to deserve this kind of thing? Do I really deserve this? Maybe the world is pure evil after all, that good people do not exist.

After hours of beating they finally left me seeing my fully beaten body. But I think they might come back so I take that as my time to escape. Every subtle movement send penetrating pain throughout my body. I was wounded, both soul and body. I don't know what to do. Continuing was something that came first from my mind. I wasn't able to think clearly. I've limped all the way home crawling, limping, tumbling, and puking blood.

Caelan POV

What have I done?! My arms are shaking. I want Oliver to know that I didn't mean all of this to happen. It was Xavier's fault! the leader of the Snake Gang.

They blackmailed me into hurting him and bullying him or else they would kill him before I knew.

I don't want them to hurt him! I know what that Gang can do to my Oliver.

The moment Oliver walked into the class. There's just something about him that makes me want to protect him. I know people have been hurting him and I want to kill them for that!

I've seen the bruises all over his body and my heart ached so much seeing him in such situation.

I would never forget that time when he was sprawled across the streets. I wanted to take him home but Mom wouldn't accept him. That's why I brought him a loaf of bread from the basket mom had. I wanted to hug him but it was time to go said Mom.

Oh Oliver. I love you so much!

His bloodied form haunted me.

I can't sleep that night.

The next day I came to school early as possible in order to find oliver's whereabouts and perhaps talk to him all about this and that I didn't mean to.

But they said he-he's dead.

Oliver's dead. My Oliver

They told me that he committed suicide in his apartment. Cutting and making himself bleed and from that moment on. I knew I was dead. Tears started streaming down my face. My body's shaking in disbelief and I can't think properly. I wanted to kill myself.

He's dead. My Oliver is dead.

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