whale-in-that-case

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the best way i can think to describe the experience of reading moby dick is you’re in line at the dmv and this guy behind you very loudly says “well who HASN’T had a gay experience” and then proceeds to tell you every detail about his life in between anecdotes about how great sperm is and how ropes work and sometimes he’ll say the most poetic shit you’ve ever heard in your life and them jump RIGHT back into explaining how a whale is a fish because 1) it swims in water and you’re still only like halfway through the dmv line

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If you are still taking malevolent suggestions may I perhaps ask for Alia and/or Lillith? I miss my wives

why of course!

(the moon one is inspired by this)

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For all the going back and forth I did trying to figure out a robe for John, he sure is way more fun to draw without it. 💀 Anyway, I wanted to show crab John's Texture™, mentally I think of his body covered in like penguin-style feathers. Then I kept going and decided to draw them being chill and affectionate for a minute.

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From @undercat-overdog ‘s silvergifting fic Shall these Bones Live

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hey everyone new question are there any songs that freak you the hell out so bad that you can never listen to them again. like i mean songs that just fuck with your mind. mines hamburger lady by throbbing gristle i physically cant listen to that song without getting terrible paranoia. i’m really curious 2 hear peoples input on this since people always talk about disturbing movies and games but not a lot about scary MUSIC and i think we should talk about scary music MORE🗣️

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Vetinari: While you were being heterosexual, I studied the blade. Vetinari: And the bow. Vetinari: And the poison. Vetinari: And deportment. Vetinari: And music. Vetinari: And theology. Vetinari: And medicine. Vetinari: And physical education. Vetinari: And -

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I went to a museum with this former carpenter, and as a way of flirting I kept pointing to victorian-era furniture and saying "oooh what wood is that ^_^?" to which he would reply, with increasing exasperation, "I don't know." this continued for like half an hour and he got very close to snapping.

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When I (M29) was a young boy (M7) my father (M35) took me into the city (X167) to see a marching band (M23, M21, M22, F22, M24, M25, F21, M

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The problem with playing smash or pass is that there's a lot of characters which I'm not sexually attracted to but I would fuck in a heartbeat out of sheer curiosity and ego, like I don't find Mickey Mouse attractive at all but if he approached me at a bar and went "Hey sexy, want me to show you my mouseketool?" I would say yes because then I get to tell my friends I fucked Mickey Mouse

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doodle :]

[tip jar!]

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When I am appointed to represent a child, my first action is to separate them from their parents and tell them the following things:

1. I am their attorney. I do not work for their parent or the judge or the cops. I don’t care what any of those people want.

2. My job is to listen to them and try and make what they want happen in court. (At this point I make a joke about how most people want me to get them out of trouble but if someone wanted to be in trouble I would do my best.)

3. What they tell me is confidential. It goes nowhere unless they agree to it. (If old enough, I talk to them about mandatory reporters, and how I’m a mandatory non reporter.)

4. I will give them lots of advice because I’ve been doing court for a while and I know a lot about it, and they don’t. It’s all really complicated, and if they don’t understand what’s happening it’s my job to help them figure it out.

5. They will make the decisions. (At this point I usually have to reassure them that I’ll help, I’ll speak for them in front of the judge, and I’ve got their back. It’s scary to have an adult say you’re in charge, most of the time.)

6. I tell them I know it’s absolutely wild to have some stranger come in here and say “hey, you can trust me!” and that I get if they don’t believe everything right away, because I plan to show them through my actions and my words that I’ll fight for them.

7. But nonetheless, I will treat them like a person who can make decisions, because they are living their life and I am not.

I do not:

Pretend to be cool.

Try to be their BFF.

Overwhelm them with detail.

Let their parents in the room until the kid asks for them. (I provide openings for this, and ask if the kid wants their parent to help them remember and understand.)

I want to emphasize I went into this job knowing nothing about how to interact with vulnerable populations, especially children. The training was minimal, and my role means that I can literally walk into a facility and get an unmonitored visit with a minor client one on one.

In my years of practice I have never felt threatened by a child, even one that was “violent” and “unstable.” It turns out just saying “hi, I think you’re a person with thoughts” is wildly successful? Now people treat me like I have special Child Whisperer powers. My powers are that I ask the child what’s up and I’m not scared to say things that are objectively awkward. I know nothing about anything.

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words of affirmation i repeat on the daily

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Tolkien: The sun is great

Tolkien: But you know what would make it even better?

Tolkien: If it were a tree.

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refugee fam beach day feat. elwing and elros :)

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RADICAL SATURDAY