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Rating Each Book In The Gone Series Based On How Much Psychic Damage It Dealt Me, Long After I Actually Read The Series

(contains spoilers but the fandom is so dead that nobody who hasn’t read the books yet is likely to see this. also this probably isn’t 100% accurate as i have not fact checked any lore going into this and am writing purely off of memory)

Gone: meh. not very much graphical content. the guts-getting-eaten-and-replaced-by-gravel part was a little gnarly, but fairly tame compared to later events in the series. the cemented hand thing is worse in retrospect than it is when you’re reading. a kid’s arm gets chopped off but that’s fairly underplayed. overall, gone is mostly setting the stage for future disasters. it’s setting the vibes for the characters. i finished this book and actually had hope for the future of these poor kids. 3/10

Hunger: cannibalism? very spicy. a kid getting consumed by worms within two minutes of being introduced? bold. the main threat in this novel was the ever-impending doom of starvation, which is certainly an unpleasant fate but was not something that disturbed me deeply. i can barely even remember what happens in this book, which should tell you something about how much it impacted me. people died. duck dies :(. i do remember that. 2/10 overall but the worm scene had some serious style.

Lies: it’s brittney, bitch. what the fuck happened to her. why the fuck is she sharing the same body as drake. why is she a zombie. why are demonic alien entities taking the form of her dead brother to convert her to the occult. wtf. speaking of cultist behaviour, bitchboy and his nazi wannabes need to calm the fuck down. that’s creepy. also, is this the book where little pete does his weird demonic nestor thing? i’m assuming it is because he’s either sick or some weird godlike observer in the remaining books. in other news, jack/brianna is a solid no but it’s not psychologically disturbing and therefore isn’t counting towards the rating. 5/10

Plague: what the fuck. what the absolute fuck. michael grant calm down challenge. apparently some super disease wasn’t bad enough, so you added parasitic flesh eating mutant bugs? even worse, caine fucks???? i was on edge the entire time reading this book. at the time, it was probably the most graphic thing i had ever read. they could’ve gotten rid of every description of kids literally coughing their lungs out and bugs consuming people, and that scene at the end where they’re saving dekka still would’ve made this book horrifying. she survives and that’s my only consolation in this cruel world. 100/10 i need a hug to recover from the death of brianna/dekka and the other shit that transpired in this book

Fear: not too graphic from what i can recall. michael grant decided to give us a break and not actually describe cigar ripping his own eyes out, which shows that he’s capable of exercising a little bit of restraint. in terms of psychological shit though, this book did an AMAZING job of setting up the “oh god oh no The End is coming.” a creepy ass mutant baby is born. little pete is now god, apparently. darkness is descending upon the FAYZ. this is a book that damn well knows it is the second last in the series. the penultimate peril walked so that fear could run. the impending doom vibes are definitely there. 5/10

Light: two gods play 8D chess using humans with magic hands. fun times. a lot of people die. almost all of my faves die. anything graphic that happened didn’t stick in my mind because i was too sad about everyone dying. the fact that the survivors had gone through horribly fucked up events and were now varying degrees of traumatized was established quite well, and just... damn. i read this book in one sitting on christmas morning and was shaken for the rest of the day. 8/10 but it was depression damage instead of the fear/disgust damage inflicted by the previous books. they were young teenagers, damnit. i haven’t read the monster series, and i don’t think i ever will, for the singular stupid reason that i just want to pretend that these kids eventually got closure and lived out the rest of their lives without anything terrible happening.

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Very good news!! Fingers crossed!

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oops, wait, you can’t

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You would not believe your eyes

if Caine Soren did not die

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Drake is the most reliable out of all the characters

He’s 100% awful 100% of the time. You can always count on Drake to be a piece of shit. :^)

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diana: hey sam i need to tell you something

sam, visibly playing games on his phone: whats up

diana: im dating astrid

sam: oh cool

diana:

diana: i also used up your shampoo yesterday

sam, throwing his phone across the room: EXCUSE me you did WHAT NOW

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DIANA LADRIS ISNT WHITE

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Sam in Lies: Drake’s not dead, I saw him myself! 

Astrid: DRakE’S noT DEad I saW HIM mySelF!

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I’m not crying, you’re crying.

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Cool this blog's been up for a year now nice

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found this old thing in my folders this fandom is so dead right now, omggg ;O;

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US Government: don't tell anyone about this

Darius: lol ok

*3 hours later*

Darius: hey Connie they're gonna nuke the dome lmao

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👏🏼canon👏🏼black👏🏼lesbian👏🏼

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I started re-reading GONE and it's so weird that they haven't found Lana yet or even the coyotes, Sam doesn't even know who Caine is, Quinn's still around, they have food, people are alive. What.

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YOU'RE👏🏻NOT👏🏻A👏🏻REAL👏🏻DIANA👏🏻LADRIS👏🏻FAN👏🏻IF👏🏻YOU👏🏻HAVENT👏🏻EATEN👏🏻ONE👏🏻OF👏🏻YOUR👏🏻FRIENDS👏🏻