| she/her | 25 | Kleopatraphilopator on ao3 |Sauron is just a virgin who can’t drive.
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Thorin thought once they reclaimed the mountain the worst would be behind them until he remembers that his nephews, heirs to the throne, grew up as commoners and haven't got a fucking clue how they're expected to act in formal occasions as princes so now Thorin and Balin have to My Fair Lady/Pretty Woman/Princess Diaries these two idiots (who actually know more than they're letting on but think it's fun to stress out their uncle and cousin) before they accidentally cause a royal scandal with their impropriety
Balin: pretend I'm a lord from the iron hills - how do you greet me?
Fili: *daps him up*
Kili: *aggressive and far too informal headbutt*
Thorin, head in hands: Mahal is punishing me
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Thinking about bagginshield and how Hobbits don't really have kings, they have a Thrain, sure (I think that's how it's spelt) but that's not a king
That's just sort of the guy who gives a second opinion and helps them organise things
But I imagine that to a dwarf, that's who they'd consider the Hobbit king
And so I'm thinking about the company finding out how Bilbo is the Thrain's grandson and them all immediately being concerned about how Thorin had been treating the Hobbit "prince" the first few months of the adventure and "oh no, does the Hobbit King know that King Thorin has been dallying with their prince? What about the marriage contracts? We haven't made any peace treaties! We stole their prince! Is there gonna be a war from this?!" (Their only example of Hobbits has been Bilbo "I will stab an Ork Warg for you despite the fact you hate me" Baggins, they don't know Bilbo is an outlier among even the Tooks) (Or the fact that Hobbits are a little... promiscuous in nature and that there was probably none of Bilbo's virtue left for Thorin to sully, it's most likely the other way around)
#virginThorinSupremacy
Anyway, I just think it'd be a little funny for them to find out that Bilbo is kind of high up in the social standings of Hobbits
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I always thought Thorin was dotted on more by his Grandfather.
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In my mind, if Frerin was still alive he would be Gerald Butler from Beowulf. As well he would be the charming and laid back out of the two. But the both of them have much in common such as not having directions … and having a hard on for hobbits. Personally, I don’t believe Thorin fell in love with Bilbo at first sight. However, I do believe that Thorin did find Bilbo interesting and hence forth grew his affections after awhile such as signing the paper, the trolls, and Rivendell. After that BAM, EMOTIONS AND AFFECTIONS. Think Mr. Darcy and Bilbo as … not really Elizabeth Bennett* but kinda. Dis is just as stubborn as Thorin, however she hates traveling with these two. It took them three weeks longer to reach the Blue Mountains. She and Frerin are better at love life than Thorin as well as getting along with others. Fili and Kili both got their cheeky nature from their mother as well as her sense of direction.(thank god) Kili got Thorin’s bad naming sense and dark looks. Kili’s archery came from his father. Fili has Frerin’s sense of flirting and charms but has Thorin sense of responsibility…and temper when angry. But everything else came from mother such as understanding that family before royalty and jewels.
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dat hat, such bofur, much cute, wow.
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I love Dis included in other things because Tolkien’s and PJ’s works are awesome but so much of a sausage fest. So yay fans. Anyways Dis’s only flaw is that she can be nosy when it comes to love life (much like Fili) Frerin likes to surprise snog Bilbo while they are on their journey while is not exactly great because Bilbo screams/yells/causes noises that gets Thorin jealous distracts the whole company.
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He kinda just never came back for a while.
click the pictures for captions also if see one more kumquat go, “MAN YOU DIDN’T READ THE BOOKS” I swear to jfc
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Bilbo - It all started with a crazy loon who banged on my hole. Thorin - Which hole? Bilbo - GET OUT (I)(II)(III)(IV)(V)(VI)(VIII)(IX)(X)
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Since I redid Dis, I also tried to do Frerin again as well as Kili and Fili’s father. So I have many headcanons of the durin family. Also Fili gets his hair colour from his Da, while he gets his eyes and everything else from his mum. Kili gets his Da’s hair type and his eyes and his smile. And the hair colour is from the Mum. (I)(II)
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What do you mean I’m leaving? I am just going to a place far away that is not here for a while.
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Wabba wabba support me with a coffee
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desperate times call for desperate measures tweet support me here!
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Listen, he hasn’t had time to sharpen his pick. He’s been leading his people and all that other stuff.
support me here! twitter
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Thorin is really abusing his powers sometimes. support me here! twitter
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