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people are allowed to love being aro, ace, apl, or similar even if their orientation is caused by a disorder, by the way

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If you are straight, how do you cope with a desire for relationships?

My seperatist beliefs aside, the idea that humans will all find romantic love as long as we are open to it is delusional fairytale thinking. Even if all men and all women were good people, time, location, language, physical attraction and compatibility would still be barriers to finding love.

Think about it, the number of people we meet physically and virtually is limited

Of those people we meet, how many of them will we have meaningful interactions with?

Of those we have meaningful interactions with, how many will we like?

Of those we like, how many will like us back?

Of those that like us back, how many will we love?

Of those we love, how many will love us back?

Of those that love us, how many of them are we compatible with enough to develop a relationship with?

The above scenario would still apply in the heterosexual utopia that reformist hope to achieve.

Now in our current reality, we know most men are trash: if they are not rapist, porn watching scum, they make excuses for their rapist, porn watching scum brethen. As a heterosexual woman with basic self respect that people call "high standards", the number of potentially romantic partners is very low already, then add the natural elimination that happens even in the ideal situation then do the calculation.

As a straight seperatist, I "deal" with my desire for love and companionship by simply understanding that humans cannot control whether they find love. Before I accepted that men are a global menace and men are trash not just the ones I had the misfortune of interacting with, I had accepted that finding true love is about luck, pure dumb luck. The only thing you can do is to be a good person, live your life and have a robust social life to meet people who might like and hopefully they like you back and you both are compatible enough to form a loving relationship.

Romance should not be a life goal for anybody because you have no control over your ability to find love.

Listen as adults, we all need to understand and accept, there is a price to pay for the life we want. Living a life of freedom and self respect has a cost and living a life with "romance" has a cost. Whatever decision you make, you have to be willing to pay the price.

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people who only use conventional social media are so funny bc they’ll casually be like “can I see your tumblr??” are you Insane. this is no instagram or twitter. this is my vault of secrets

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"Tumblr should be user-owned" half you guys can't even stand AO3 having fundraising drives

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Miss World >>>> Miss Universe

For people who aren’t into missology at all:

Miss World is better than Miss Universe. Plus, it is the “original”.

Let me explain, it was created earlier while Miss Universe was created in 1952 by a Californian clothing company.

It is just better in terms of execution. If you wonder which show is more worth watching, choose Miss World. I used to love and be inspired by the media competition content when I was little. The talent show, the great introductions etc.

The dresses are simply better. Miss Universe is saturated in similar style rhinestone glam with nude spots (I hate those, even as a Rythmic gymnastic follower, I hate too much nude) and unfortunately Miss World has become like that lately. But for the majority of time they have better fashion.

Miss World national costumes are not as eccentric as Miss Universe. And that’s completely fine. Indeed, I think that it has gotten over Miss Universe(overall competition)’s head to draw more eyes as possible and be as camp as possible. I made a post about it in past but never published it. The Met Gala’s camp theme ruined all the future Met Galas. People are were still trying to be camp for 3/4 editions after. The belief that you have to be “eccentric”, unconventional, maybe even crazy etc to show that you are free spirited and a “misunderstood artist” to be unique and to be seen as revolutionary in the fashion industry has ingrained the mind of some people who take it out of the Met Gala context and in many red carpet events. It was already there before the Met Gala in other forms in different events, but after the Camp one, the public started to believe it. It’s beautiful to explore more, test more, be more costume etc, but many things are becoming a costume party. Not in the “cultural costume” sense but in the dress up as something else sense. Miss Universe has been dealing with it in their costume segment for a while. In a sea of actual costume, many would feel like they are misunderstanding the homework in one presented in a less costume one. And the thing is, not all countries have such a big and voluptuous “costume” compared to others. So they make actual costumes with their textiles in. I am down for it! It’s fun and different from other Missology events, but I want 2 segments then. One with typical cultural costumes and the other with actual costumes. Because if I were to choose which competition gets it better, then I would choose Miss World because it isn’t as pretentious (although it’s becoming) and shows my country appropriately if they have the change to do it only once.

Overall, I just simply prefer Miss World also because they are more message driven and inspiring for a little girl like I was. I was always into glitz and glam but I always found Miss Universe cheap looking. Like Miss World was a respectful glam (mostly old Hollywood glam, and they had rhinestones!) and Miss Universe was a 2010s-2020 glam. In theory Miss Universe has the same purpose of Miss World, but in execution they aren’t as great. At some point I felt as if it was more beauty driven than message driven.

Something I particularly dislike is how Miss Universe happens to overshadow both Miss World content and non international titles content. Missology competitions are far more enjoyable in their own countries.

What do I actually like about Miss Universe then? Easy, some (former editions) dresses & the crown change each edition. Plus, it’s usually always far more before than Miss World’s crown.

But why is Miss Universe considered bigger? It isn’t. It has gained its attention because of the name “-Universe”, everyone of us imagines that the universe is indeed bigger than the World and that’s what got us in a linguistic trap. They probably have more money than Miss World by now but that’s because of the public.

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Does anyone else has a strong urge of making digital poetry aka silly posts about their condition when they have digestive problems and share them? Be it diarrhoea or constipation.

But never does in the end because is too tired for it? Indeed this is my first post about that.

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If I never had any of the boys in classes throughout my school experience (my entire life). I would have advanced simply so much faster in each school year.

(I have finished all school by the way)

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i dunno i just think “you should not defend yourself when strangers on the internet are rude to you lest you look Insecure” is a very strange hill to die on and i think it kind of exemplifies how much damage the “whoever cares the least here wins the argument” mindset did. i don’t know why people on this website seem to think “don’t be rude to strangers on the internet just because you think they’re weird” is an unreasonable thing to ask of others

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This 2023 Met Gala might be one of the most if not the most beautifully executed and nice looking to the eye ever so far.

I haven't seen a Red Carpet in general as great at this ever, I think. The closest thing being Chinese awards.

Even the looks I deem as "not my cup of tea" are actually great! Different and maybe even too much but not tacky.

The guests also are more informed about the theme than in the last editions.

I must thank Karl Langerfeld for this. And the Met for noticing the issue and controlling the guests' outfits.

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Some people on this website wholeheartedly believe a cat will only try to bite its’ owner if it’s under traumatizing levels of stress.

I assure you cats will bite for a variety of reasons up to and including “fun and me time”

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"Walkable city" is not "City where to have to walk everywhere."

"Walkable city" is.

Sidewalks big enough to fit you, your stroller, your wheelchair, your guide dog, or anything else you need when you're getting from one place to another.

Safe crosswalks frequent enough so you don't need to walk in traffic.

Bike lanes to keep bikes out of foot traffic and car traffic.

Accessible and affordable public transit.

Cities where the essentials are close enough you can travel on foot (or in wheelchair)

Cities where it's reasonable to be able to get from point a to point b without requiring you, yourself, to drive

People get so caught up in the "Walkable" part of the term and like to spout "Walkable cities are abelist because not everyone can walk".

Bitch. The modern city structure is abelist because not everyone can drive. And classist because not everyone can afford a car and it's pretty damn impossible to get a job if you don't have a car.

Walkable cities are cities where people can reasonably get from pointA to pointB without requiring a motor vehicle.

"But fae. Disabled people have issues using the paths in modern cities." Bitch abled people can barely use the paths in modern cities. That's kind of the fucking problem.

Also walkable cities have fucking benches. Not only for disabled people. But sometimes you just twist your ankle and need to sit for a moment.

"Put fae. If you have benches, homeless people will sleep on them."

Then get fucking housing for the homeless. Problem solved. They'll sleep in their nice warm homes instead of on the benches.

-fae

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It's darkly amusing to me that some people thought my mom didn't "discipline" me enough as a kid, were not shy about making sure both she AND I knew it, and now as an adult I'm one of the only people in my friend group who still wants anything to do with their parents. The proof is in the pudding, as they say.

When I was a kid, I broke a ceramic soap dispenser. I burst into tears and was terrified that I was going to be in trouble. My mom told me that it was okay, because accidents happen sometimes, and the important thing was that I didn't do it on purpose and apologized.

When someone else I know was a kid, they broke a dish on accident and got screamed at and guilt tripped. To this day, they have to push down a panic attack at the sound of broken glass, and have had to actively work on healing from that trauma. They will always have to carry that.

I think maybe it's not MY mom who fucked up in the "how to discipline your child" department. Quite frankly, I think the idea of "disciplining children" is fucked up and deeply harmful on a fundamental level.

When a kid does something wrong, you have to teach them how to fix it and do better. Humans are messy and complicated and we don't know everything there is to know just by being born. Children are learning how to be human beings, and that's a really hard thing to learn.

Kids question and fight back against authority that mistreats them, but someone treating them like a human being with human emotions is usually going to have a lot of success. Kids just want to be respected, and it's our job as adults to give them that basic human dignity. The world is utterly terrifying, and made scarier when all the grown-ups seem to hate you and wish you would just shut up and go away, even the ones that claim they want you around.

Kids can be mean, because they're still learning how to socialize and communicate and collaborate. Sometimes you have to give them time to cool off, and sometimes you have to redirect them. Sometimes you have to be firm. Sometimes you have to be an adult, and hone your conflict de-escalation and resolution skills. None of that requires punishment.

And if a child does something truly cruel and fucked up and shitty, and it hurts someone in a big way? My first question isn't "what should their punishment be," my first question is always, "who taught this kid that, and is this child in active danger from them?"

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people have got to learn the difference between I didnt like it and It was bad

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the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

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I just found this on Pinterest and wanted to Reblog directly but I didn’t find the user anymore. If the account and original post are still there, please send it to me so I will respectfully reblog and delete this post.

So true. As someone who is feminine with a style leaning on glamour (sometimes vintage, sometimes modern), sophisticated and elegance; I was insecure of making my peers insecure or curious about my social class and my choice of clothing.

I won’t spend almost 2 hours to write a long rant like I sometimes do, all I will say is that aside from the formerly integrated expectations to dress and act a certain way, if nowadays the newly integrated expectations are more casual and liberal, if you sustain will your entire heart that you are fine and feel much confident and comfortable with your selected personal style and don’t feel intimidated by mine in a non judge mental social environment with the majority of people like you; then why are you slightly insecure of me? I dress like that because it makes me feel myself at the fullest even though I am self aware of being always the ugliest, stupidest, dumbest, less educated/less smart, stinkiest, most asocial, most unwanted etc person in the room (I am serious, please don’t comfort me in the comments, you don’t know me and I am actually always among the worst people in the room, I have a couple of good traits I guess but overall I am a loser and others visibly and audibly believe the same-No questioning), actually, since I have stopped shopping and curating my wardrobe 5 years ago (Social anxiety and fear of wasting money) and 80% of the good pieces didn’t fit or broke and were thrown away, I feel even less confident in my own skin and clothing ever. It made me realize that I actually have courage at least in past when I used to believe I was at my lowest point.

I am constantly intimidated by everything and everyone because everyone is somehow either better than me or a teenage peer who might make fun of me or both. But I only felt intimidated by other’s style because I wanted to have it and it started when I had less good clothing pieces during the last few years.

I think that if you feel that intimidated, maybe you should attempt explore your fashion sense and who knows, maybe dare to go a little out of your comfort zone and you might discover that you actually secretly like a certain thing but we’re too insecure for it.

Personally I never wear skirts, I sometimes wear dresses when back in Africa and at ceremonies but other than that the last time I went out in a skirt/dress I was 9 years old on my first day of school. At the time I felt well, it’s later that around 14~ when I started to think that I shouldn’t wear them but I actually love skirts on other women but I am not confident at all to wear them. (10-14 years old me never wore skirts just because I guess it was never popular at school in my country, not ever high school. I rarely saw skirts over the years at middle and high school)

So if one day I will regain my confidence and curate my wardrobe, I do not feel superior to you! I am actually extremely insecure and I secretly believe that you are superior to me! It’s even worse when you are introverted and act like a “sweet good girl” because I was extremely surprised when some middle school classmates and a teacher lightheartedly joked that I am someone who thinks is better mannered and educated and well dressed. (I do believe that in many cases I am but I don’t fixate nor barely think about it. It’s not a ME vs YOU, I don’t compare. To me if you are impolite than you should behave better. End of the story.) because at the time I was already constantly feeling inferior to them in many ways. And they surely felt superior to me too! I think that they were also aware that that statement was only given on how I carry myself and dress because they definitely thought I was maybe the ugliest, weirdest and stupidest in class.

So please, don’t make me downplay my fashion because it sticks out compared to the group overall. It’s one thing to dress for occasion (which I do) and another to pressure others to change their style direction. Because if anything I could also use the excuse of dressing for the occasion to call out many people.

By the way, my fashion sense is actually quite versatile. I just physically can’t not add at least a certain small element that relates to femininity or girlyness but I actually like many outfits of other styles that sometimes my peers wear and I end up slightly intimidated because they indeed pull it off very well. My fashion sense is not tridimensional but my personal style is.

Seriously though, DO NOT RESENT OTHER LADIES FOR BEING CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO DRESS THEMSELVES THE WAY YOU SECRETLY WISH!

Or, DO NOT LET OTHER LADIES RESENT ON YOU BECAUSE YOU HAVE A SOCIALLY ATTRACTIVE-ACCEPTED/APPROPRIATE STYLE!

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Viola Davis becomes the 18th person in history to achieve EGOT status, winning an Emmy (“How to Get Away With Murder”), Grammy (“Finding Me”), Oscar (“Fences”) and Tony Award (2: “King Hedley II” and “Fences”)