whaticannotsay

[whaticannotsay]

I’m tired of doing extra shit just to be alive. There are people out there living just like me, if not worse, without the constant stress and building responsibilities. I have to take something to breathe right. Something to not let me get too upset. Something to not let me get too sad. Something to get me to go to fucking work in the morning and now I have to take something so I don’t just have a stroke and die?! Why. Why the fuck do I have to do this. I’m not strong enough to do all of this every goddamn day and I’m not even worth the hassle in the big picture. So why am I still getting stacked with shit I need to do just to not be miserable?! I’ve had shit around me making me miserable my whole life. And now I’m finally in a place where I can tailor my whole existence around finally being fucking happy and I can’t?! I gotta do extra shit just to be at the bare minimum of alive?? There are things I am able to do that give me joy. That make me happy. That I can use to not feel like shit. But in order to do these, I gotta take a fuckton of pills every goddamn day to just BE?! Why?! Why the fuck me?! What did I do so goddamn wrong in a previous life? What have I done before this?! Finally got to a place in my life where I don’t question my worth and don’t put my importance behind anyone and everyone else’s regardless of how shit they’ve been to me and now I gotta be a pill-popping deteriorating wreck?

That’s why chores are stacking up. That’s why I have more and more things around the house I need to do. Because every goddamn morning I need to get up and try and swallow so much bullshit just to deal with LIVING?! And then they expect me to eat with it? Eat, but not this. Or that. Or too much. Or too little. Don’t eat what you like. Or what tastes good. You can take a drug to help you NOT eat! But wait! It’s 4pm and I haven’t eaten a goddamn thing yet today? I thought I overate! I must because I’m fat! I must have an eating problem? There’s no possible way I can’t be hungry right now!

And in a hour? I’m going to a gym where I can row harder than half the class and yet I’m as big as three of them put together and for fuck’s sake I am SO. GODDAMN. TIRED.

AND WHAT HAPPENS IF I TELL SOMEONE?! What happens then? Does it all go away? Nope! I get more behind! I get things taken away! I don’t do anything that makes me happy! I’m reminded more about how shitty I feel by making my exact environment just as shitty! Hooray?

Then I resort to lying my way out to get back home and then realize MORE SHIT has piled up? Things taken away? Things that made me happy no longer around me? What the fuck is the point then?! What is the fucking point.

It’s not money. It’s not money at all. It’s life.

I don’t want to die but Jesus, why the fuck is it so hard to live?! Why does it need to be so goddamn hard? Struggle now to get rewards later? WHY? What’s the point of struggling at all?!

So now I’m going to get up, get dressed, feed my cat, and do whatever errands I can be assed to do before going to the gym and bed tonight. And then I’ll wake up in the morning…. Greeted by my cat, again, who l LOVE, in order to leave him to go to work which I don’t hate, in order to get back here and threatened with doing extra shit or else I might die.

It has been months… if not YEARS. Since I’ve had an episode like this. I’m practically no contact with every toxic force I’ve ever had in my life. I’m in such a better place for the first time in my life and YET FUCKING AGAIN, in order to enjoy it a little longer… I gotta do extra shit?! For fucking fuck’s sake.

“More money more problems” Nope. That’s not how it works. Otherwise we wouldn’t be as fucked up of a country as we are rn.

Yes, it s 4:17pm and I hardly have gotten out of bed. Why?! BECAUSE. IT. WAS. NICE. nice to read and imagine and forget all the bullshit awaiting me. God fucking damn it.

[whaticannotsay]

THEY'RE ROOMMATES!!! THEY'RE ROOMMATES AND GOOD FRIENDS!!!!!

[whaticannotsay]

they’re fighting for the one piece don’t mind them

[whaticannotsay]

‘𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞…’ 𝐦𝐲𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬;

✞ pairing: alternative!yoongi x reader (afab) ✞ type: drabbles ✞ genre: filthy smut ✞ status: new&ongoing

disclaimer: this is entirely a work of fiction and by no means is meant to be a projection, judgment or representation of real-life people. yoongi is used solely as a face and a name for the story. this is not a representation of real-life scenarios.

➷.𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐢𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐡 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐮𝐩 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐬 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐠 𝐨𝐧 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐟𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

➷.𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 — coming soon!!

… + 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞.

© 𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝𝐣𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛ, ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ ᴏʀ ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴʏ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋ.

[whaticannotsay]

min yoongi the man that you are

i think neutral pretty is my favourite… what about you guys??

other members :

hoseok

jungkook

taehyung

namjoon

seokjin

[whaticannotsay]

neutral hot is something else

other members :

yoongi

hoseok

jungkook

taehyung

namjoon

[whaticannotsay]

jungkook the things you do to me

other members :

yoongi

hoseok

taehyung

namjoon

seokjin

[whaticannotsay]

When I read this… obvi I screamed. 🤣

"what i want to say, what i cannot say" on d-day photobook cover 🧐 you're tellin me a queer coded this album?????

[whaticannotsay]

*°:⋆ₓₒ all these bitches my minis got em calling me mickey ₓₒ⋆:°*

[whaticannotsay]

The dumb thing about being diagnosed with anything is the anxiety over being gaslit/reduced in capacity in the future.

“Oh it’s ok, she was crazy”

whose fucking fault is that, dipshit…

[whaticannotsay]

I JUST NOTICED SOMETHING

astrum - star nauta - sailor ASTRONAUT LITERALLY MEANS “STAR SAILOR” HOW CUTE IS THAT

[whaticannotsay]

[whaticannotsay]

Marry your best friend. I do not say that lightly. Really, truly find the strongest, happiest friendship in the person you fall in love with. Someone who speaks highly of you. Someone you can laugh with. The kind of laughs that make your belly ache, and your nose snort. The embarrassing, earnest, healing kind of laughs. Wit is important. Life is too short not to love someone who lets you be a fool with them. Make sure they are somebody who lets you cry, too. Despair will come. Find someone that you want to be there with you through those times. Most importantly, marry the one that makes passion, love, and madness combine and course through you. A love that will never dilute - even when the waters get deep, and dark.

(via piningcas)

I'm trying, bruh. Seriously trying.

[whaticannotsay]

Stupid.

I am thinking about you today

Get signed prints at my store Building a World

[whaticannotsay]

I am alone.

I was born alone I will die alone. Nobody will ever love me. Like I love them. I will have a lifetime of wanting And never receiving. I will die alone With nobody to mourn. It is me. It is my fault. I am what is wrong. Why can I not be happy....

[whaticannotsay]

My pain at seeing you is offset by the pain I have of embarrassing myself. I hate you so much.

[whaticannotsay]

liking someone who is already in a relationship