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[theopenchapters]

chapter 7

i woke up to the smell of food with one eye open i looked at the alarm clock it was 6:52 am i had to be at work by 9am but with everything going on i wanted to call out and make sure hassan was ok i got up and straight in the shower  i took out some grey tights an over sized black t-shirt and some air max. i called my job and explained i had a family emergency. the table had turkey bacon eggs croissants and fresh brewed coffee i smiled at kim as she passed me the joint she was smoking she was just finishing up the grits when we heard a knock at the door. i ran to peek thru the peep hole i saw no one but out the side window i could see a DHL delivery truck pulling off. i opened the door and there sat a box no bigger than a shoe box addressed to hassan i grabbed it and put it on the bench by the front door i didn’t secure the placement so the box fell and the sound it made quickly called me and kims attention. kim said are you gonna open it then my phone began to ring its almost like every time i was going to confront something with hassan the universe would just interject. the nurse called and said hassan was now up and asking for me she also gave an extension to his room and she connected the call. hassan answered he sounded very alert for someone who was unconscious not even 24 hrs before he began to ask me to bring him his phone and a change of clothes i agreed then i asked him what was going on and why were they saying he overdosed he flipped it on me and said “i should ask you the dr’s said you mistakenly gave me a sleeping pill what the fuck is that about” my response was epic “i covered for you so they wouldn’t have the police kicking my door in besides everyone knows a sleeping pill wont cause and overdose so are you gonna keep it real with me and tell the truth or will i have to find out on my own” before hass got another word out he heard his phone ringing in the background of the other end of the phone. i was triggered and once my hand is forced i couldn’t control what left my mouth here he was accusing me of things but not taking responsibilities for his actio"well look who it is ??? “as i swiped to answer the call. Hey “shirley girl how are you?” i could her hassan moving around in the background of his call i made sure to put the phone on speaker shirley said “girl give that man his phone”. my response to shirley was “what man? your man? as you said the first time i answered this phone” shirley began yelling at the top of her lungs all types of obscenities thru the phone half of which i didn’t even make out because she was so loud i lowered the volume on hassan’s phone and then spoke into mine to hassan “you either tell me what you got going on or i will light everything you own in my house on fire” hassan had now ripped every machine he was connected to off and was determined to get to the house before any other information was found out. i could here the cars in the back ground the hospital they sent him to was luckily 30 mins away. hassan screamed thru the phone “im not playing with you cheyanne your gonna regret this shit” i laughed and hung up the phone. see the house we lived in belonged to my granny she had brought it in 1992 and when she passed away she left it to me so i did the kicking out and played no games about it after dealing with hassan always controlling the narrative i had to boss up as kim would say and i was done being played with here i was asking for the bare minimum and he couldn’t even do that it cost zero dollars to be honest something my granny always said!!

i made my way to the basement office with kim right behind me. i opened all the desk drawers flipped all the cushions on the love seat and nothing kim fumbled thru some cabinets that hass had his business stuff in i was so pissed of that i swiped everything off of the desk computer printer everything hit the floor and as the metal pencil holder hit the floor out fell a sandwich bag full of yellow pills me and kim looked at each other shocked. kim bent down and grabbed one and looked up the number that was engraved in it she looked up and said girl these are percocet. my eyes grew wide “i bet any amount of money that box that just got delivered here is the same thing kim rushed upstairs to retrieve the box and as i started to pick the pills up i can tell that the carpet had been pulled out near the wall behind the desk and with one little tug i found a stash kim made it back in the basement and i instructed her to shine her phone light into this hole the carpet was covering i reached in and there was a bag from footlocker i pulled it out and sat it on the desk i untied it and there was at least more than 40,000 kim was on her own mission opening the box that DHL delivered and of course it was over 6000 pills this man was running drugs out of my house i was believing him about his own design company dreams and he was turning my house into a trap house i grabbed everything money pills and took it upstairs i also cleaned everything up i gave kim the bag with all the money and pills and asked her to take it somewhere and hide it just not in her home. i grabbed garbage bag after garbage bag and filled it up with hassan’s belongings. i thought id be more hurt after all me an hassan had been with each other for years but truth be told we only lived together for a year. my mom died of an overdose when i was 12 i found her deceased eyes rolled to the back of her head and foaming out the mouth and him knowing all of this he still brought this garbage in my house and used me all the while carrying on with shirley and god knows who else. hassans phone began to ring once again and it was the man with the feminine voice i calmly asked him what was the call about and he stated that hass owed him money and that he didn’t like to be played with i told the man i had no idea what was going on but that once hassan got out the hospital i would give him the message.i heard a car door slam then another i called kim to see where she was but she didn’t answer my stomach turned and cramped up as if i had eaten a order of white castle  

[theopenchapters]

chapter 6

we arrived at oakdale medical center i was nervous they rushed hassan into and emergency area and told me to wait near bye. my tears kept flowing i couldn’t understand how i let my paranoia and jealousy get me here. my conscience was loud and all i kept hearing was “i’m going to jail” finally kim arrived she looked spooked as scared as i was. she brought me to the side and said “dotty’s friend that came on the EMS team said that they had to give him narcan”. i replied ok so whats that ? kim said they give that for overdoses are you sure that was a sleeping pill you gave him? it was cvs brand i knew it couldn’t have been what i gave him but what in the world could he have taken hassan would judge me just for smoking with kim so i was lost as to him doing any drugs especially the kind you could overdose from we sat for what seemed and eternity finally the doctor came out to speak with us. the dr said he was stable but still out due to the stress from the seizure and that his toxicology report would take a few days and we would be able to see him but only for 5 minutes because he needed his rest. we walked in the hospital room hass was hooked to about 5  machines my tears instantly came out this was all my fault.

we arrived at my house kim drove because my mind was all over the place but the first thing i went to the bathroom and pulled out the cvs night time sleeping pills i read the back it didn’t make sense there no way i only used one pill i told kim she grabbed the pill bottle from my hand and shook her head. kim said normally id be totally against this but you need to go threw his shit mean while im gonna call dotty she knows alot about overdoses. i sat on my bed reflecting on how hassan’s behavior had changed in the last 2 months he’d be up sometimes all night when he was off he claimed it had to do with his independent business he was trying to get off the ground so i never did question it was i missing something. i hopped up kim had went to pick up some food and weed lord knows i needed it i went to his dresser and looked in his draws only thing i found was some expired condoms in the back of his underwear draw. i went to the closet looked thru his sneaker boxes coat pockets you name it then suddenly i heard a phone ringing i looked my phone was on my night stand so i know it wasn’t kim i ran to the phone it was the 305 number as soon as i got to the phone she hung up. kim walked thru the door i told her what was up. kim said “she’ll call back she looks like the desperate type did you find anything?” kim said as she took out the sushi she had picked us up although i was stressed out i needed some food in my system. as soon as we were finishing our food the hass’s phone went off i looked and it was a different number but none the less this number wasn’t stored either i answered it was a male voice and they said hello but very feminine like i looked at kim confused as hell so i said hello who is this and the person hung up. i was shocked and honestly didn’t know why this person was calling hass. deep in my thoughts kim lit her joint and got me out my trance. the door bell rang it was dotty she was straight to the point she said the sleeping pill couldn’t have had that effect on hassan and that he had to be taking something much stronger. kim shouted we need to check the office that’s where it happened at i agreed and no sooner did i get up that his phone went off again it was the 305 number i answered hello shirely was on the other end said girl you still on his phone you playing around and i aint got time for your shit. i screamed “time for my shit no bitch i aint got time for yours who are you because far as i know your calling my mans phone all times of the day so what your deal” shirley being the coward she was told me she’d beat my ass and quickly hung up. i was furious mentally i couldn’t take it anymore i wish i had spoke up from the jump when he started acting different. saying nothing i led the way to the office in the basement. my emotions came right back there were gloves the EMT’s had used on the floor his desk chair was flipped over i broke down i just didn’t know where to start i just sat on the floor and cried kim tried her best to console me but i just couldn’t stop crying kim said we can look later lets go back upstairs girl take a shower and relax she told dotty “go ahead ima stay the night here i wanna make sure shes ok” 

that’s the thing with kim shes gonna make sure her friends are good even if it inconvenienced her she would ride out with you no matter the issue  she been this way since i met her if i didn’t have it she would make away to help me and i was always grateful and loved her for that. that’s why no matter what new people i met or relationship i got into i made it known kim was my family she was the closest thing to a sister i had and we always kept our friendship tight  i got in the shower cleaned myself up and laid down and tried to sleep but truth was i was feeling hurt guilty and betrayed all wrapped in one and to top it off from what dotty was saying hassan was hiding more then some strippers and text messages and i needed to find out what!!!!!

[theopenchapters]

chapter 5

for the next few days i decided to befriend her you know  get her to let her guard down so i could get some information. i commented on her story about some shoes she had posted just to spark a conversation i asked where did she get them and she said she had gotten them as a birthday gift earlier that month for her birthday but that she would ask her friend that purchased them it was taking to long to get real concrete evidence plus hass just hadn’t been acting right since his little trip he wouldn’t let his phone leave his side and even when he does he was rushing back to get it i called kim and she told me i should wine and dine him cook him his favorite food and once he falls to sleep i can just go thru his phone so i went to the supermarket picked up some nice steaks i got some potatoes corn and asparagus. i waited for hass to come thru the door he instantly had a smile when he smelled the food. he seemed to be in a good mood he went to get in the shower. i decided to look in his apple watch but i couldn’t find it. i instantly got annoyed and of course he took his phone in the bathroom.  none the less i set the table and then i got the bright idea to crush up a sleeping pill and mix it in his drink. finally hass was out the shower he began calling me usually when he called me in the room meant he wanted some and indeed that’s what he wanted there he stood tall with his long locs naked that switch just flipped there i was caught in a trance he lead my hands all over his body the he took control and before i knew it my body was underneath his he kissed me it felt so good truth be told we hadn’t been getting much action lately after 2 rounds we decided to go in the kitchen and eat our dinner. hass was all into his food he took a few gulps of his drink then i remembered what i had put in his drink he finished his food and relaxed on the sofa i was waiting to see if he would doze off but being paranoid as usual thought he would get suspicious so i decided to run the water and have a bubble bath i hopped in the hot soapy water and relaxed i sat in the tub for 45 mins i got out and put on my robe on and peeked in the living room hass wasn’t insight puzzled i put my slippers on and headed down to the basement where the office was hass was sitting with his head on the desk and along side of him was a bottle of congac i panicked i began to try and wake him and i couldn’t hassan wasn’t a drinker and for that reason only i was scared not only was he a light weight but he didn’t truly know his limit i pushed him he wouldn’t budge i tried opening his eye with my fingers and he was knocked out cold my mouth turned dry my mind raced do i call 911 ???or call someone to help?? i was losing it i couldn’t think straight i darted upstairs to grab my phone i face timed kim i was frantic she told me to check his breathing and pulse now he was breathing but i was so scared that i couldn’t even find his pulse at all kim rushed over and on her way she called her cousin dotty who was an EMT to meet her at my house kim and dotty arrived in 8 minutes tops kim whispered bitch you drugged him? i just shook my head dotty opened her medical bag and checked his vitals and all seem to be fine she said he would have to sleep it off eventually he would come to in like 2 hrs kim said girl check the phone you might as well you damn near killed him to find out i grabbed the phone put his finger print to it unlocked it and headed up stairs as soon as we made it to the top flight his phone started ringing and it was the 305 number i answered but said nothing kim and i just stood waiting for the person on the other end to speak up but they didn’t they hung up. i sat on the couch and went in his messages the 305 number had text “ r u o.k.?” i text back yes just with my girl right now what are you up too. i could see the dots showing that she was writing back and she replied “how are you with your girl if im right here” i face timed her this time and she answered now she was looking at my face. come again i said so your hassan’s girlfriend? she looked shocked i glared in my head i wish i could jump thru the phone but why attack her when hassan was the one that owed me the loyalty she smirked and said “aint even that serious”and hung up the phone i felt heat rush thru my body i was furious when suddenly we heard a loud crash from down stairs kim and dotty looked at me and we all bolted down stairs hass was laying on the floor having a full on seizure my brain shut down the room was spinning i could hear dotty calling 911 everything sounded so far away. kim brought me back to my senses dotty asked me did he take anything else because she had never seen this happen to someone from sleeping pill are you sure you only used 1 pill? yes i replied i wasn’t sure what was going to happen the paramedics came thru the door and it was the blur all over again i was in a fog i thought in my head i’m going to jail what if he dies what if he comes to and finds out i drugged him he’ll kill me or leave me for missing member of the city girls shirley for sure the EMT’s asked had he taken anything i said i mistakenly gave him a sleeping pill instead of a tylenol the EMT said oh this is more than a sleeping pill i was confused lost i had no idea what i would do if i lost hassan even after i found out the bullshit he had been up too i really didn’t know what i would do or what would come of this situation i gathered my thoughts as i got in back of the ambulance and i told kim to stay back lock up and drive my car to the hospital.

[theopenchapters]

chapter 4

going out for food and drinks with kim and hass was fun it felt good to laugh and joke around and kick back i’m always working so anytime i am able to have a little fun i take advantage.i was looking at some mail that was on the table and hass was watching the basketball game on t.v. when his phone went off. he answered i tried to make out what was going on but all he kept saying was ok,ok,ok . immediately the girls profile picture popped in my head i instantly became annoyed my nose flared and i squinted my eyes as i thought to myself “ugly bitch” suddenly hass got me out of my imaginary beef in my head.i quickly changed my demeanor. and tried to fake smile in my head i wondered if that’s who had called. hass asked did i want to go with him down town to pic up some materials i declined and decided to cook some dinner and play detective.

i made some curry chicken mixed veggies and plantain mash it was so good i got so into cooking it almost made me forget o had some detective work to do. i called kim. she said i should just call and ask the girl or just ask hass to be honest i was afraid not so much that he was cheating but more so that i was wrong and id look crazy for accusing him i wanted proof. and the only way for me to get proof would be for me to get on her face book and for that i needed to enlist my boy montrell he was the master of catfish he had about 35 different profiles active like different people he would use his evil ways to monetize. (for example if you needed a reason to break up with your man or girlfriend he’d catfish them and give you the proof your partner was “cheating”. wanted to check up on and ex post someones business or expose someone nudes montrell had a profile he could use)   i reached out to montrell he charged me 50$ via cash app for his services he told me he would email the log in information if she accepted the friend request.

i waited 2 whole days and this heifer still hadn’t approved the friend request montrell then said if i had her number he new a guy who could hack her profile for 150$ kim was not for it at all she kept saying give me the number i can tell you everything you need to know for free. kim had no problem speaking up she wasn’t knocking montrell’s hustle it was just she wasn’t going to let me be swindled either. i thought back and wondered if only i could’ve seen those text before he deleted them he had to have something to hide for him to have deleted them in the first place. kim kept telling me to call when suddenly montrell called his voice came blaring thru the phone guuuurrrllll hunty chile she accepted kim was in the back ground talking thru her teeth “i told you he was trying to hustle you 150$ my ass “ i hung up quickly and opened the email on my phone i grabbed my lap top and got on facebook and slowly put in the information montrell provided i went quickly to the search bar and typed S. MILLER and clicked kim was literally hovering over me i scrolled and scrolled suddenly a direct message came thru it was her. the direct message read “im trying to figure out where we know each other from did we dance together?” kim squealed shes a stripper oh hell no hassan this is not cool a stirpper my heart beating fast as i thought what to reply so i went along with it and said “you know i was thinking the same thing when i requested you, you look so familiar i think maybe we did dance together” kim cheered me on “you smart girl”. truth was i didn’t know what else to say i quickly went thru her page she was still actively stripping and proud of it she had 4 boys the oldest looked about 12 she was 28 so she started early i went to her page on the dates Hassan had been out of town she made a post about loving to be held and kissed by a real man. then she posted some memes about long distant relationships i could piece it together as evidence but truth be told it could be a coincidence i was out of 50$ and still didn’t know any concrete information kim was babbling on and on “at this point you just need to ask him who she is because she was calling his phone why he got strippers calling him that’s why i only put my trust in Benjamin franklin ulysses s grant or andrew jackson i dont invest my time in these men” SHUT UP!!!! i finally yelled at kim she was talking so much i couldn’t think straight i was at a dead end but determined to find out who she was so i hit up montrell and asked him how much to keep the profile for  a week he charged me an additional 50$ i would have to befriend her to get information. kim wasn’t agreeing with my decision at all but i had and idea and it would take a few days to pull this one off... 

[theopenchapters]

chapter 3

my eyes popped open suddenly i could feel a headache creeping up i was so intoxicated last night. i rolled over to see Hassan was gone. i must’ve been really messed up because i’m usually a lite sleeper. i got myself in the shower made some toast i couldn’t stomach anything. i noticed hass’s keys were still hanging on the key rack by the front door. i thought to myself he must be in the office.then it hit me it all came back i needed to find out who the hell shirley was and who was blowing up his phone on the car ride back from the airport. i crept down the steps slowly i could hear hass talking in the distance but i couldn’t make out what exactly he was saying. finally i got to the door and hass was making an order of shirts for his printing company. that was the most attractive thing about hass he was a hard worker and determined to work for himself and be his own boss. i opened the door and poked my in. he looked up at me and smiled i walked in and he pulled me in for a kiss as i sat on his lap.it felt so good when it was good but as we kissed his phone began to ring. all i could see was the 305 area code before he quickly denied the call. i felt my face get hot and my ears too i was mad as hell. so i quickly asked who was that he replied no one important. then he quickly changed the subject and started saying how he had so much to do i got off his lap and quickly started to think about the last 24hrs. hass got his stuff together and went downtown to pick some things up for his business. i hurried and got my lab top the first thing i did was get the phone number and google it and a facebook page popped up.

i took a deep breath before clicking on the link the page pulled up and it was this short kinda chubby girl with a blonde finger wave short hair. her page was private but i could see she was from miami. and her name was S. Miller my heart sank to my stomach. my mind started to race am i not good enough who was she why was she calling hass i couldn’t wrap my mind around it. was i bugging maybe he had a good explanation i called Kim to come over if anyone would give me some good advice it would be my girl Kimbra she was smart and quick witted and all about the hustle kim got smart learning about stocks and she made a pretty penny and like the hustler she was she invested her first earnings into a laundry mat and two buildings. and since we were 17 we’ve been locked in shes always looked out for me and vise versa.

Kim - you want me to friend her ? because we can she looks like someone who over shares on social media. lets call the number ill pretend to be looking for someone else. 

i began to think kim had a point and as she rolled another joint i sat up on the stool in my bathroom and debated whether or not to call i was scared of my worse fear being confirmed and now i was hie and the paranoia kicked in kim egged me on “go thru his stuff again girl” i pulled the luggage down flat. i unzipped the front part and felt around i found nothing i looked up at kim she was so engulfed in the music blaring from the music video playing on the lap top that i had the throw some socks from the luggage to get her attention. kim laughed and said what you find and before i could answer the door slowly opened and hassan was there asking the same question. kim’s face instantly changed my face felt flushed. i quickly lied and said i was just clearing it out cuz i was tired of seeing the bag just laying around. hass face says he was not convinced at all but he brushed it off and said what yall pot heads about to eat got this whole house smelling like a snoop dogg concert. we decided to go to a near by mexican spot but i couldnt stop thinking back to the girl with the 305 number 

[theopenchapters]

chapter 2

a few weeks had passed and i literally was so focused on working and saving money that i had tunnel vision. Hass was out of town for the last six days and i missed him but the peace i had of just being alone was kind of nice too. 

it was 8pm and Hassan’s flight landed at 9:20pm i cooked some pasta got myself together and got in the car to pick up hass. It was 9:37pm when hassan got to the car he looked off i couldn’t put my finger on it but something was not normal. i glanced over and he didn’t make eye contact. normally id make a big deal but i really had been working so much that i decided to brush it off. but on the ride home his phone screen lit up twice and he quickly ignored whatever the notification was. i automatically began to think what it could be but i decided to leave it alone.

when we got home it was cold and im not talking about the 34 degree weather outside. Hassan was not himself and the energy was so distant that i decided i would go against my number 1 rule “never go looking for shit unless you want to get your feelings hurt”. i waited for the shower to turn on i checked his jacket first i found nothing i quickly opened his luggage i looked carefully enough to where he couldn’t see i rummaged thru his stuff. i still didn’t find anything.i quietly whispered to myself the apple watch didn’t have a password i slowly scrolled thru his call log wrote down a few numbers then i went to the text it was his friend bradley his mother two guys from work and then shirley! i scrolled passed it at first but then a lil voice said click it. soon as i clicked it the shower cut off and hass called out “ babe can i get a towel” i quickly exited his messages and put the watch back. my mind was racing it was 945 when whoever was blowing up his phone but the last incoming call was my number when i pulled up at the airport. i poured me a glass of wine and heated up the pasta i had cooked earlier i made his plate and as he exited the room we locked eyes. i thought to myself finally he quickly frowned. i looked at him puzzled and he said i want water not wine. i grabbed his glass and poured it in my glass. i ate four bites of food and couldn’t take it so i asked what was the problem he denied there was any problem. i got up finished the wine and decided to go in the bedroom. he went downstairs to the basement office. i paced back and fourth than i remembered the half a joint kim had left in my bathroom (i didn’t smoke much but i liked the way it made me feel). i lit candles and asked siri to shuffle my music suddenly you could hear lauryn hill “when it hurts so bad when it hurts so bad why’s it feel so good” i lit the joint now i cant speak for anyone else but weed makes me feel like tingly like when your foot falls to sleep but imagine that all over plus the two glasses of wine i downed i was feeling good i decided to take another look at the watch he had left it on the night stand i quickly scrolled looking for shirley’s name and it wasnt there i thought i was hie and drunk why couldnt i find it . hass had deleted it i couldnt believe it i was out for blood but not without proof

i logged on to our phone records and there was this one 305 number that was on his call log so much.i wrote it down. and decided i would hold off until tomorrow to see what i was gonna do. i thought to myself outta town on business huh? my ass!! hass came walking in and quickly dropped his boxer briefs i hated him but i loved the way he made me feel and even though i had suspicions about what he had been doing i couldn’t help my attraction for him he bent me over the room slightly spun due to the weed and wine i had in my system.i felt him grab my hair then he whispered did i miss him all i can do was moan i was back on cloud nine my mind was under the influence under his influence and even tho i knew he was up to know good the way he momentarily made me feel pulled the wool right over my eyes and made the fog so thick that i forgot all about how he made me feel for the past three hours we had sex it wasn’t making love we didn’t kiss it was almost as we had taken out our anger on each other thru intercourse.

i laid there in a daze somewhat satisfied but also paranoid on what i would find out when i decided to look deeper into hassan’s little business trip!!

[theopenchapters]

chapter 1

it was raining and cold. i didn’t really want get outta bed but i did. washed my face, made my bed, and began to make breakfast. my phone rang it was Hassan i instantly blushed. we spoke briefly he said he would be over in 30 mins. i made croissants egg whites with spinach and turkey bacon. i showered sprayed my favorite rose bud vanilla body spray and put on a cute two piece set  on. 

i heard the key turn in the door my heart still felt butterflies of the thought of him i pretended to be sending out an email for work. he said it smells good i responded me or the food. he laughed and responded the food baby and you of course. i couldn’t wait for the embrace. Hassan was 6ft chocolate skin not a blemishes no scars long neat Loc’s down his back. he pulled me close kissed my neck and held me tight. we sat down and ate i couldn’t help but stare at him he was beautiful in my eyes he was smart hard working and very funny. after eating Hass got in the shower he hated working the third shift but it gave him a 4 day work week so it gave him more time to work on his business. while hass showered i cleaned up the dishes from breakfast lit some candles in our bed room and prepared to treat him to a nice massage i got the body oil out. 

hassan laid in the bed i proceeded to rub his body he let out soft moans he was relaxed his breathing had changed he quickly flipped over and grabbed me we kissed his soft full lips kissed mine i felt him puling off my top then he pulled of my bottoms. i love when he takes control. softly biting my lips pulling on my hair i was on cloud 9.

his sex has that effect on me like i was on another planet it was euphoric . sort of like a hie and when ever i was in his presence i was like an addict . i would feel excited in his presence because i knew that once i caught his vibe it was intense a rush. 

but just like an addict when they cant get their drug it was cold hard and nerve racking when i couldn’t get my fix. when he wasn’t accessible it was all down hill.

hasan had a way to make me feel on top. but also string me along which was a bad combination. its a recipe for disaster and unfortunately hassan was good a bringing this cookbook to the table

stay tuned to for chapter 2