whatinthe-greenbeans

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

merry fucken christmas heres your

PRESENT

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

I'm sorry to ask you again (As yearly this question I pen) Are you today's date? Cause clearly you're great And solidly 10/10.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

Hey. You’re old. :))

I got out of the shower, opened my phone, and the first thing I saw was my cousin calling me old

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

some notable catchphrases of 2013:

bitch I might be

do she got the booty ? she doooooooooo ! 

swiggity swag

the D

wen u mom com home and make hte spagehti

“ hello______, im dad �� 

AYYY LMAO

W R I T I N G  I N T E N S E  W O R D S  L I K E  T H I S 

 perfect _____ don’t exis-

And now, the weather

at least 2 potato

we’ve come full circle ! 

life hack :

[ __________ INTENSIFIES]

so many

such doge. much wow. very smile. 

mahogany 

*sweats nervously*

same. 

spooper hot choclety milk

#SHERLOCKLIVES

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

look, guys, this may seem ironic coming from a person with Verbose Disease, but I'm about to tell you the secret to winning social media: shutting the fuck up. you have a controversial discourse opinion? shut the fuck up and no one will know. can't participate in a boycott for various reasons? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you think or do something Problematic that has no bearing on anyone but yourself? shut the fuck up and no one will know. you haven't been keeping up on a pressing social issue? shut the fuck up and no one will know. your mind is a wonderful place where you can have all the bad takes in the world and they're all perfectly insulated from everyone and everything unless you try to excise them on a grand scale. you can take the mental L all by yourself without using a public platform as a confession booth and face zero repercussions and it'll be just fine. open up a damn diary and explain yourself there.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

i could say a lot about flying with a service dog & the way ppl behave toward me for better & worse but what i never expected is how strongly people react to her shoes. walking through an airport with a dog that’s wearing shoes feels like being an A-list celebrity who needs a security team. people just photograph and record us without asking—not nice—but I do love listening to ppl’s reactions as we go by. every thirty seconds—not an exaggeration—I hear “oh my god look that dog’s in shoes.” once at baggage claim a woman was running to hug someone waiting for her, and she stopped just before the hug, turned to us and went “that dog’s in shoes!!” like literally she swerved out of the hug for it. a family who was late for their flight sprinted by me at full speed & the child with them yelled “DOG IN SHOES” and they all turned to look and one of them tripped over their baggage.

i usually board first and one time the pilots walked to my seat before anyone else had boarded & they said “i’m so sorry. we heard there’s a dog in shoes out here.” i guess one of the flight attendants told them.

they took photos with her in the cockpit.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

The thing about ADHD is that the "lack of reward chemicals in your brain" doesn't just mean that you don't want to do any tasks that don't feel particularly yummy :(, it means that your brain will look at chores and tasks that need to be done like "doing this would be painful and tedious for absolutely nothing to gain from it, Do Not Do That." The same thing that your brain tells you about everything else that would feel really bad and hurt the entire time that you're dying. The part of your brain that stops you from doing the thing is the same part that keeps you from shoving your arm into a wood chipper.

With unmedicated, unmanaged ADHD, "I have to do this assignment or I fail and my life will be ruined and I die" feels like a SAW trap, every single time.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

Happy Pride Month to everyone who gets this joke, laughed at it, or isn’t a homophobic or transphobic etc asshole.

Happy Pride Everyone.

Stay Gay.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

I don't think things should cost money

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[whatinthe-greenbeans]

broooooo ahaha that's so epic. do you mind if i grow fond of you

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

a while back i posted screenshots of a conversation with a demi friend who afaik is otherwise cishet and extremely not on tumblr. i guess he's just gonna be a recurring character on this blog.

here is me (badly) explaining the deal with unicorns and dragons to him, and a message he had for acespecs in response.

make armadillo ace a thing. do it for him.

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

cd in a microwave

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

Friend of mine was submitting a job application and discovered that they REQUIRED a photo:

We’re trying to decide which of these is a better option:

or

[whatinthe-greenbeans]

I totally forgot that eating a meal can improve your mood dramatically. I was depressed a minute ago but now I'm literally having a good time. what a concept