whatrealbeautylookslike

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some of them scream "coQUIIII" which happens to be their name

Whoever said frogs say "Ribbit" was being incredibly reductive some of these guys do say "Ribbit" but a lot of them be saying "ᴮᵉᵉᵖ" some of them be saying "Waauu" and some of them be saying "Fuck" but I don't know who taught them that one.

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"Why do you think you're autistic?"

besides all the meltdowns and family history and sensory issues and inability to recognize when kids were bullying me

me, at least 3 times a week: *turns down volume bc screen is too bright*

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i fucking beoke it

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A poem to King Hades

my love has emerald eyes

and tawny hair

and skin like soil.

his arms hold every soul who has

ever lived

ever died.

they hold me

tight to his chest.

soft like earth

cool like stone.

I call the king by his name

and he never calls me mine.

he says I am powerful

but let's me be weak.

he is an old god who

indulges a young lover

and their questions.

my ring glows green

around my fingers.

green like his eyes

green like emeralds

green like jade

green like the plants

that grow from his earth.

I am green.

young and fresh

barely a sprout

sticking out of the soil

at odd angles.

as I grow up

I must also grow down

my roots stretching deeper

into he who sustains me.

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you want me to take my time? the thing that killed kronos?

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Asking my husband how he wants to appear to me:

me: my love, how tall are you

hades: ... tall.

me:...

hades: 5'5"

me: honey, I love you. and because I love you, I'm gonna be real with you. I don't think that qualifies as tall. at all. you're a short king, literally

hades: 😒

me: laughing my ass off

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I was wrong. the answer is working on a production of fucking tartuffe with matthew broderick and bianca del rio. what the fuck is happening

okay seriously. not to be a crazed parasocial fan but where the actual fuck is amber gray?? 😭 she literally just did the warriors recording and fucked off to parts unknown. was she even at the tonys? eureka day won best revival of a play and she's? nowhere to be seen? okay then 😭😭

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somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

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I love it when my non pagan/not Hellenic moots reblog or like my helpol stuff. Like you don't understand shit of what I'm talking about but you're still half of my notifications on my helpol things. (You know who you are)

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1 note = 1 person who reduces Aphrodite to an overly sexual, bitchy cheating partner gets cast to The Void

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me before worshipping lady aphrodite: I'm 20! I'm an adult stop saying I'm cute!

me now: yeah i have a little baby cherub face goo goo ga ga bitch what about it I'm fucking adorable

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Another gem from my latest ROM visit that filled me with immeasurable glee:

Look at that little owl!! He's so goofy and cute and so dear to me and so so very clearly a LITTLE OWL (Athene Noctua) which is, of course, the species of owl that represents Athena

Look at how small that little guy is:

Athena holding a helmet and a spear, with an owl. Attributed to the Brygos Painter (c. 490–480 BC). The Metropolitan Museum of Art. And, look at these incredible further examples cute little owls in pottery:

Armed owl. Attic red-figure Anthesteria oinochoe, ca. 410–390 BC

Skyphos with Owl between two branches of olive wood. Attic red-figure pottery. Archaeological National Museum of Spain.

Attic red-figure kylix, owl between two olive branches. Found in the Mengíbar Necropolis. Archaeological National Museum of Spain.

Owl skyphos. From Most na SočI, end of the 5th century BC. Tolmin Museum.

Owl skyphos. Attic, mid-5th century BCE. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Terracotta rim fragment of a kylix. Attic, dating 480–470 BCE. The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

I just wanted to share these because they also always make me smile. One of my favourite things about going to the museum has always been looking at sculptures and pottery.

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discovered I have more to say about this.

I don't understand how you can truly respect the gods and take the myths literally. portraying lady hera and other goddesses as jealous and cruel doesn't seem respectful to me. portraying lord zeus and other gods as lying, cheating rapists doesn't seem respectful to me.

studying the myths includes studying them critically. I came to the conclusion when I was about 12 years old that these are stories that were written by old privileged men who hated women and they can be fun sometimes, but should not be your fucking moral standard. if the myths are your standard, you can say whatever you fucking want about the gods. it doesn't matter. you can pit gods against each other left and right, accuse them of all manner of atrocities, whatever. the fuck. you want.

but idk man believe whatever you want

friendly reminder that the myths were also written by people. ancient misogynistic men, to be exact.

have fun with them, use hymns and passages in your worship, pick and choose things you like, write your own myths for fucks sake. but please for the love of all things holy, don't take the myths as 100% accurate and literal, or as "sacred texts". they were literally just written by old men.

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did a little photoshoot of king hades' ring last night after our ceremony. I keep it on a chain so I can wear it bc it's too big for me 😭 the second photo is now my lockscreen

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Things I imagine my Deities doing: Part 4

(Please remember this is a silly little skit, based on my real experiences.)

Me: *Showing off my Kandi to Lord Hypnos.* "And then we have this rainbow cuff! It was my first one! And then we have this star..."

Lord Hypnos: "Very Nice my child, very well done."

Me: "And then we have this one! And this set of singles that I made!"

Lord Hypnos: "Very Nice sweetie."

Lord Hypnos: *After I'm done ranting and talking.* "Now how about you go lay in bed and I'll hold you? How does that sound?"

Me: *Blows out my candle and climbs into bed. Feels the sensation of being held in his lap.* "Very nice Father."

*Side note: I love the feeling of being held by my deities.

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a secondary edition to my posters, this time Queen Hera.

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i WANT that senior citizen