whats-my-question - Tumblr blog

whats-my-question · 5 months ago

Note

Maybe u could do a Spencer besties to lovers? Like they've known each other a long time yk

Thankssss no pressure if ur busy ofc <3

It’s Always Been You

cw: reader has a boyf who she breaks up w bc he’s an alchaholic!! don’t read if you aren’t comfortable, i’ll catch you another time ml 💛

a/n: EEK IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT ANON 🫶🫶💛💛 also im taking this as smosh spence not cm spence so feel free to re-request if you’d like <33 ps, ive written that he listens to pink floyd here so thats who syd barrett is if you don’t know :))

requests r open!!

///

pairing: spencer agnew x fem!reader

florida, 2002

you and spencer were scurrying around in the freshly mown grass of his backyard, playing tag.

“you didn’t get me, you cheated!” you exclaim, ducking as he reaches out to get you again, tumbling to the floor.

“did too!” spencer retorts, his grazed knees dropping to the floor so he can lean over you. he meets your eyes, pulls a tongue, and hoists himself back up to run to his tyre swing.

all 11 years you’d known, you’d known them with spencer. your moms had been great friends since way before you were born, being in the same book club. or was it an art night? you didn’t exactly know, but you did know that because your moms were best friends, so were you and spencer.

as you sprung back up to your feet, your moms watched your antics through the kitchen window.

“whoever can swing the other the highest gets to have the last red popsicle!” he yelled as you ran over

“oh you’re so on!”

your hands gripped the tyre and you pushed like your life depended on it.

“y’know,” your mom said “one day, they’re going to end up together.”

his mom looked over at yours and smiled,

“i’d be surprised if they didnt honestly.”

los angeles, 2024

you walk through the door of your apartment, and you kick the door closed behind you. your bag slides off your shoulder, and you throw your keys onto the dresser next to the door. you only manage a long groan before flopping onto the couch.

“heya, charlie!” you scrunch your face up as you feel your dog’s cold, wet nose press against your cheek, as he gently wags his tail

“i missed you too boy, work was so tiring today.” you work at smosh with spencer, and have done for the past seven years after you left your job at another channel to join him. it was basically the best decision you’d ever made, every day filled with laughs; practically just a 24/7 hangout. you work with spencer on smosh games, but rarely ever go on camera, even if spencer’s there. you enjoy it anyway though.

you sit up and scratch behind his ears. he wiggles his body contently at your fondness. and then your stomach growls. it made sense, it was currently 6:43pm, and you last ate at noon, so you get up and drag yourself to make some mac n cheese.

as the pasta boils your phone starts ringing.

it’s james.

rubbing your hands over your face, you answer the dreaded call from your boyfriend james.

“heyyy~ sweetheart, y’doin okay? you were hic bein’ a bit of a bitch today, didnt answer my calls, what, you hate me or sumn?” he rambles, most of his words just slurring off.

“james, are you drinking again?” your voice is agitated, hearing the chattering and the low bass of a bar in the background.

you know he has a problem, and you’ve tried to get him to stop so many times. but you just can’t. he just won’t take your help.

“wha- i mean- well- no- but um- well y’r just gonna be mad at me like y’allways are” he stammers, not wanting to tell you the truth.

“no, i’m done with this. you say all this to me when you’re drunk, and then act like everything is fine! i’m sick of it! you spend so much time at the bar, and its the only place we ever go on dates, and i just end up babysitting you! so yeah i am mad! but for the last time! fuck you james.”

you hang up.

you start to tear up, the knot in your chest tight as your emotions come rushing to you, face heating up as tears begin to fall. the hissing of something behind you snaps you out of it.

“shit!” you rush over to to your stove, where the water from your pasta spills over the sides, the flames licking at the bottom of the pan.you take it off the heat and turn it off. it looks done anyway. you add some butter, and, of course, cheese. stirring gently, you sob.

james was so nice to you, always showering you with gifts and praise and love. but it was all for nothing. he just didn’t love you like he loved drinking in the end.

pouring the mac n cheese into a bowl, you call spencer.

“hey lemon! how’s my favourite person this fine evening?” you smile at the nickname.

florida, 2007

“spencer, you’re a boy. why are you so complicated? i mean, its just annoying!” you walk into his bedroom after his mom let you in, clearly pissed off. being 16 isn’t fun, especially when boys you like are rude to you.

“what did he do?” spencer doesn’t look up from his computer, just slightly turn his head.

“he said that i must eat lemons because of how bitter i am. i mean come on!” you lie on his bed and watch him play runescape.

“lemon… hmph” he just smiles and continues whatever he was doing on his game.

“what? nothing to say? ugh! you suuuuuck!”

los angeles, 2024

“yeah, i mean, no. i broke up with james.” you sniffle, and eat a forkfull of your food, elbows resting on the cold marble of the kitchen island.

“i mean- um- yeah thats horrible…” he says

“you’re allowed to celebrate, i know you hated him. and so did everyone. but still. im fragile right now!” you giggle through your gentle tears

“well, i mean, honestly? glad he’s gone. he sucked dude. not sure why you didn’t do it sooner. well, one positive to come of this, your pillows won’t stink of beer next time i nap at yours!” he replies, clearly happy for you.

“yeah,” you chuckle at the memory of spencer falling asleep on your bed, then completing his hair smelt like budweiser “that is true.”

“all seriousness though, are you okay?” his voice is genuine this time, filled with concern.

“no, not really. it’s just… different i guess. but, not much has changed y’know? like, it already felt like he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore…” you begin to ramble for at least 20 minutes, only to be met with the occasional ‘mhmn’ and ‘yeah’ from spencer. mid sentence, there’s a knock at your door.

“oh one sec, someone’s here.” you get up from your table and swing the door open to see a very sympathetic looking spencer, two target bags in his hands.

your jaw is on the floor. you were just crying to him over the phone, and he’d stayed whilst going out to get what you can only assume is things like sour patch kids and vanilla ice cream, which you could see at the top of the bag. your favourites.

“girls night?” he smirked and raised the bags at his sides.

all you can do is smile ear to ear, and wrap him in a tight hug. he leaned into you, basking in your sweet citrusy perfume.

“you’re my favourite, spencie.” you say into his shoulder.

as you both walk inside, charlie comes bounding over to spencer, his favourite person.

“who’s a good boy! charlie is!” spencer was now crouchedby your kitchen island, fussing over your dog as you walked to put on something more comfortable. you slid on some track pants and an old atari hoodie. walking back into your kitchen, spencer has unpacked the bags, and is creating his favourite conconction, The Agnew Sundae. basically the most sickeningly sweet ice cream ever. his dad made it for you both in the summer, and it consisted of:

vanilla ice cream

chocolate syrup

caramel sauce

whipped cream

sprinkles

mini marshmallows

chocolate chips

m&ms

and some crushed oreos to finish.

god, you know you’re going to regret this later, but boy was it a good way to cheer you up.

also strewn on the counter was his switch and copy of animal crossing, a few of his dvd’s for you to watch, and his mom’s chocolate chip cookies.

“spencer, how on earth did you get these? your mom lives across the country!” you hold up the baggie, and raise an eyebrow.

he looks up from his ice cream assembly station, and smirks.

“a magician never- ow!”

you cut him off by lightly jabbing his arm

“okay okay, she visited not to long ago - when she took you to the mall? and she gave me these to freeze and keep for an important event. i think she’d agree this is important.” you cant help but smile at his remark. you missed you moms.

“i’ll have to ring her later to thank her.” you say.

the night goes on, and you and spencer sit on the couch under a blanket watching barbie princess charm school. because what else are you going to watch?

as the movie goes on, and the effects of the agnew sundae kick in; you were dozing off on his shoulder. towards the end of the movie, so does he. he drifts off, comforted by your soft hair occasionally brushing against his face.

you stir awake, the sun beaming into your eyes through your semi-open blinds, and you’re hit by a wave of memory. everything that happened last night comes flooding back.

james’ call.

spencer’s call.

spencer showing up for you.

at the latter, you smile slightly. you prop yourself up on the sofa, and notice the absence of spencer’s warmth by you. frowning slightly, you walk into the kitchen.

“morning sleepyhead” his sweet voice rings through the room

“hey. i thought you’d’ve gone home”

“no, im not that mean! who do you take me for?” he retorts, his attention turning back to the pancakes on the stove.

“pancakes? what time is it?” you come up behind him, putting your chin on his shoulder.

“yeah, and it’s about 10:30.” he leant his head on yours, flipping one. you had to admit, they look pretty good.

“10:30!?” you lift you head in surprise, looking at your phone “shouldn’t we be in work?”

“nope, i called us in sick. said my mom was having surgery. which she is, but i made it sound dramatic so we could stay off.” he looks at you, and smiles slightly.

“well, send her my love! i think i’ll go get dressed now.” he hummed, and you left the room.

opening your closet, you pick out a yellow baggy t-shirt and some grey sweatpants. you pull on some fluffy socks, and slip on a zip up hoodie. walking back out into the living room, spencer walks in with two plates piled high with pancakes, drenched in syrup and strawberries

“so,” you say, a fork full of pancakes in your mouth. “whats the plan for today?”

he looks over at you, and shrugs slightly. “not sure, we could go to the book store you like?”

“ah, you know the way to a girl’s heart“ you put a hand over your chest and giggle a bit.

a few hours later, you walk into the store, door creaking just a bit as a small brass bell chimes overhead. the air is filled with a comforting mix of old paper, leather bindings, and a hint of freshly brewed coffee from the corner cafe that you and spencer like to get tea from. you breathe it in deeply, a sense of calm washing over you. as you walk over the creaky wooden floorboards beneath you, soft warm light filters down from antique lamps, and cast a gentle glow over the rows of books. you ghost your fingertips over the cloth spines while the quiet murmur of whispered conversations and the occasional rustling of pages create a soothing background noise, almost like a lullaby. through spencer’s airpods, syd barrett serenades you both, and his voice blends seamlessly with the ambiance of the store.

“anything good today lemon?” spencer says as he shimmies up next to you in the aisle of towering book shelves, his voice like honey rolling off his tongue. his hair was unruly as always, but he looked so pretty in this light. his face was littered with freckles that you wish you could kiss. he’s smiling at you, and it snaps you back to reality, and reminds you of the fact you’re staring at him

“uh, yeah, i think i’ll get this one” you smile back, holding up a copy of memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden

“cool, shayne likes that one i think. but he likes every book so…” he smiles at his own remark “um, you want me to grab our normal seats in the cafe while you pay for that?”

“yes, please!” you reply eagerly, smiling as he walked off.

you walk up to the cashier, an older lady who always gives you a bookmark.

“thank you m’darlin’, have a lovely day!”

“you too mrs bryson!” you reply, heading over to spencer who’s sat in some plush leather armchairs. as you sit in comfortable silence with him, time seems to slow down, and for a moment, it's just you, spencer, the books, and the comforting atmosphere of this charming bookstore.

“i got you your sweet tea.” he says, handing you a plastic cup filled with your favourite tea.

he remembered.

fuck.

you were in love with spencer agnew, and it took you him handing you your favourite tea to realise it.

“thanks spence.” you say, still grasping the feelings in your chest.

while you read you book and drink your tea, you feel your attention drifting to him. you can't help but glance up from the pages every now and then, watching him as he sits across from you, his focus on his own book. his fingers absently tracing the rim of his coffee mug, his brow furrowing as he reads. the way the sunlight filters through the small window, casting a warm glow across his hair, highlighting the subtle streaks of lighter brown among his dark curls. you find yourself smiling at the sight of him, wondering when these small, mundane moments began to mean so much to you. the bookstore is quiet, aside for the murmur of others reading or talking in hushed tones. yet, with spencer sitting just a few feet away, the world feels like it's faded to the background. it's just you and him, sharing this space, this moment. you watch the way his lips move slightly as he reads, how he occasionally tilts his head in concentration, and the way his eyes light up when he finds something particularly interesting. as he looks up and catches you watching him, you feel a rush of warmth spreading through your chest. he smiles at you, a slow, easy smile that makes your heart skip a beat. he raises an eyebrow, and you quickly look back down at your book, feeling your cheeks flush. but you can't help it; your gaze finds its way back to him, like he's the most interesting story in the room. he seems to notice the shift in the air between you. he closes his book and leans forward slightly, his elbows resting on his knees.

“everything okay?” he asks, his voice gentle, his eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

“yeah,” you reply, trying to sound casual, though your heart is racing. “just... glad to be here with you.”

he nods, his smile growing a bit wider. “me too.”

as he settles back into his chair, you realize that this simple exchange has changed something. the air feels lighter, the connection between you stronger. you may have come here to read and relax, but now, sitting across from spencer, you know you've found something else entirely - something you never want to let go of.

as you leave the store, you’re panicking slightly as you realise you don’t know what to do. so instead you make up an excuse.

“i forgot my keys ," you blurt out, looking back at the bookstore. it's a thin excuse, but spencer doesn't seem to notice. he simply nods, a hint of concern in his eyes.

"do you want me to wait for you?" he asks, already reaching for his phone to check the time.

"no, it's fine," you reply quickly. "you can go ahead. i’ll just be a minute."

spencer seems reluctant to leave, but he nods, offering a warm smile before stepping out onto the street. you watch him walk away, his figure blending into the crowd as he heads toward the main crossing. your heart sinks a little as he disappears from view, and you take a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse.

the bookstore feels different now. the warm glow and soft murmurs are still there, but without spencer, it's like the color has faded a bit. you stand by the door, uncertain of what to do next. you could go back outside, catch up with him, and just say it. tell him how you feel. but the words seem stuck in your throat, and the thought of laying your feelings bare feels like too much, too soon.

you step back inside, pretending to look for something you might have left behind. the stacks of books seem to stretch endlessly in front of you, a maze of comforting distractions. you wander through the aisles, hoping to calm your racing thoughts, but all you can think about is spencer - his smile, the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the warmth of his voice.

eventually, you find a quiet corner and sit down, closing your eyes for a moment. you know you have to do something. you can't just let him walk away without knowing how much he means to you. but the fear of rejection, of changing everything, feels overwhelming.

you realize you need time to sort through your feelings, to figure out the best way to approach this. with a heavy heart, you decide to make your way home, hoping the familiar surroundings will bring clarity. as you step out onto the street, the cool breeze brushes against your skin, and you take a deep breath, trying to calm the storm of emotions raging inside you.

on the journey home, you replay the moments with spencer in your mind, each one a bittersweet reminder of how much he means to you. you know you can't keep hiding your feelings, but you also know you need to approach this with caution. as you unlock the door to your apartment, you make a silent promise to yourself—to take the time you need, to listen to your heart, and to find the courage to follow where it leads, even if it means risking everything for him.

when you get home, spencer tries calling you as he paces around his bedroom, his phone pressed against his ear. the ringing continues, but there's no answer. he frowns, feeling an uneasy twist in his stomach. maybe you're still in the bookstore. maybe your phone is on silent, or maybe you're just busy. he tells himself there's a reasonable explanation, but the doubt lingers.

as he walks to his kitchen, he dials again. this time, the call goes straight to voicemail. his instincts tell him something isn't right. the keys excuse felt odd, and your hurried departure only amplifies his worry. he takes a moment to think, then leaves his apartment, jumps in his car, starts the engine, and drives toward your apartment.

the streets pass in a blur as he navigates through the evening traffic, his mind racing with possibilities. he finds a parking spot near your building and heads to your door. the hallway is quiet, save for the distant sound of a tv from a neighbouring apartment. he takes a deep breath and knocks.

nothing.

he knocks again, this time a little louder. the knot in his stomach tightens. what if something's wrong? what if he's too late? he knocks a third time, and this time, he hears a faint rustling from inside. the door opens slowly, and there you are, standing in the doorway with a look of surprise and confusion.

"spence?" you say, blinking at him as if he's the last person you expected to see.

"i - i was worried," he stammers, rubbing the back of his neck. "you didn't answer your phone, and i - i didn't know if you were okay."

you tilt your head, trying to process why he's here. his eyes search yours, and you can tell he's anxious, almost desperate to explain himself. "i'm fine," you say, "just had some stuff to think about."

he nods, but you can see he's not entirely convinced. there's something else, something deeper. he takes a step back, as if he's about to leave, but then he hesitates. "i - i have to tell you something," he blurts out, his words coming out in a rush. "i like you. like a lot. like i think i love you? and i know it might be weird, and i don't want to mess things up, but I just had to say it - because i couldn't keep it to myself anymore.”

he looks at you, his eyes full of emotions you can't quite decipher yet. you nod, urging him to continue, even though your own heart is racing. there's something in his gaze that makes you realize this isn't just any confession - this is something that's been building for a long time.

"i've liked you since we were kids," he says, almost breathlessly. "i mean, you were always the coolest person I knew. you didn't care what anyone else thought. you were smart and funny and just... so genuinely kind. i remember when we used to ride our bikes around the neighbourhood, and you'd always be the first one to try something new. like, remember when you climbed that huge tree in mr lawson's yard just because you wanted to see the view from the top? i thought you were so brave."

he chuckles softly, his gaze softening as he reminisces. "and then, when we got older, you were always there for me. when my parents split up, and i felt like everything was falling apart, you were the one who came over with a pizza and just listened. you didn't try to fix it; you just let me talk. that's something i've always loved about you. you're a great listener, and you care about people. like, really care."

he shifts his weight from one foot to the other, his eyes locking with yours. "it's not just that, though. It's the little things, too. the way you laugh at the dumbest of angela’s jokes, the way you get excited about your favorite books, and how you always know the right thing to say when I'm feeling down. you make everything feel... lighter, you know? like, even when things are tough, you find a way to make it better."

spencer pauses, his voice growing more earnest. "so yeah, i've um, been holding onto this for a while, and i just, couldn't keep pretending that i didn't feel this way. i like you - a lot. and i don't know if you feel the same way, but i just couldn't not tell you anymore."

he takes a step back, the tension in his shoulders indicating that he's prepared to leave if needed. "i don't want to make things weird between us. if you don't feel the same, that's okay. i just had to say it, because you're the best thing in my life, and i can't keep acting like you aren't."

his confession takes you by surprise, but as he speaks, you feel a surge of warmth in your chest. the words you were struggling to say are suddenly so clear, so obvious. you watch as he starts to turn away, his shoulders slumping in resignation. before he can take another step, you grab his arm and pull him back, your lips pressing against his in a gentle, yet desperate kiss.

he freezes for a moment, stunned by your sudden action, then his arms wrap around you, pulling you close. when you finally break the kiss, you look into his eyes, and there's no doubt, no hesitation.

"it's always been you," you whisper, your voice soft but sure. "you're my person, spencer."

he hugs you tightly, his grip firm and comforting, as if he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go. you rest your head on his shoulder, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your cheek. it's a perfect moment, one that feels like the beginning of something new, something beautiful.

and as you stand there in each other's embrace, you know that everything's going to be okay, because you have each other. and that's all that matters.

369 notes · View notes

whats-my-question · 6 months ago

Text

—in a different light.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader

genre: fluff, pining, non-idol au, best friend’s little brother au

word count: 5.2k

summary: when another girl makes hyunjin question the way you see him, inevitably leaving him to sulk, he wants nothing but to go to you and hold you in his arms. and good thing he did, for that was all he needed to realise how wrong she was.

a/n: here she is! like i said this part doesn’t show the upcoming convo between y/n and dahye but!!we have a very good hyunyn moment if you ask me and a lot of you were asking about hyunie’s tweet about the almost kiss lol. as always i hope you guys enjoy! i would love to read your different thoughts on this<3

Hyunjin wanted you to rely on him.

Ever since the night you broke down in his arms when Mingyu left, he promised to himself to always be there for you no matter what. And then when you grew closer as the new year started, not only was his goal to be there for you anymore, but for you to notice that he was, and therefore to know that you could go to him whenever you felt like you needed someone.

However, the thing was, that just as you began to rely on him the way he wanted, he failed to realise that he, too, started to rely on you the most — not to say to need you more than he ever had.

It only hit him after the very unpleasant conversation with Dahye he had that afternoon.

Although he sounded cold, unbothered even, he couldn’t help but feel upset about it.

It wasn’t even Dahye threatening with telling you about his feelings for you what he was upset about — he was being so obvious about them already anyway, if anything her telling you would only confirm what you deep down already knew. It sucked that it wouldn’t be on his own terms and timing, sure, but that was it.

He could also always confess that day, before Dahye even had the chance to do it for him, but he didn’t want to rush into something he knew you weren’t ready to hear just yet, only for Dahye not to end up acting on her words in the end. In all honesty, he didn’t think she would do it. She wouldn’t, right? He wanted to believe she wasn’t obsessed with him to the point of actually coming in between your relationship.

No, that wasn’t it. What upset him were her spiteful words about his age, and how you would never be able to see past your age gap.

He knew it was stupid. Three years were nothing. Maybe they were when you just met, when he was still a high schooler, a teenager, but not anymore. Not now that you were both in your twenties and he had a career, a job, a car. Now that he was able to drive you around, take you out, buy you stuff just because. Most importantly, three years were definitely nothing now that you grew close enough to become actual friends —although there was nothing platonic on his end of your friendship—, being able to joke around and treat each other as equals, finally leaving behind the ‘little brother/big sister’ dynamic you had unintentionally adopted with him by being Yeji’s best friend, and which he grew to despise with everything in him as the years went by.

He had even brought it up to you only a few days ago, how he didn’t want you to still see him like the teen boy you met six years ago, and you promised him you didn’t; that you saw him as the man he was now — as Hyunjin. Just Hyunjin.

Nevertheless, although he knew your small age gap was nothing now, and although you had confirmed it to him not even a week ago, up until he managed to make you fall for him, it would always be his biggest insecurity when it came to you. And, therefore, having someone point out how ‘clearly’ you treated him like a child, even if it came from a place of spite, like he knew it did from Dahye, could only make him sulk.

And it was when his mind was spinning and his heart was hurting, that he realised he wanted nothing more but to go to you in that moment.

He wanted to hold you close, to wrap his arms ever so tightly around you, and to have your arms wrapped around his body just as fondly. He wanted to feel your chest move up and down against his with every breath you took, to feel your breathing on his neck as you hid your face in the crook of it, and to take in that sweet scent of yours he loved so much.

He wanted to be with you, close to you. Simple as that.

And, thankfully for him, expressing his wishes to you was all it took for you to accept him at your place. Even though you were busy right then, having him say he was feeling down and wanted nothing but to be with you was all it took for you to put your workload aside and focus on him.

That’s how Hyunjin ended up at your door only half an hour later, entering the passcode he knew by heart. It was still surreal for him to have reached this point in your relationship, where you’d tell him to just help himself into your place when he arrived, like you had texted him to a few minutes ago.

It felt almost domestic, without you being a couple yet. And he loved it to bits.

“I’m here!” He announced his arrival as soon as he entered your place, not to have you freak out over your door opening so suddenly.

“Hey, I’m in the kitchen!” You replied from the next room, just as he took his shoes off and put on the slippers you kept for your guests by the door.

Wasting no time, he made his way into the kitchen, unable to hide the beaming smile creeping up his face at the sight of you in an apron, with your hair tied up into a ponytail, as you were just putting a tray of what looked like chocolate chip cookies in the oven.

“Suddenly felt like eating something sweet?” He asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the door frame as he admired you.

You shook your head no, closing the oven and then quickly fixing the heat before you stood up and finally looked at him — your eyes inevitably softening when they met his. “Just thought we could have some coffee and your favourite cookies later in order to cheer you up…”

Being too shy by your own statement, you missed the way his lips parted into a lovesick smile that showed his teeth. You did, however, hear the breathy laugh that escaped his mouth right after, feeling him enter the room and get closer to you right as you cleaned up the remains of flour on the counter.

And maybe you focused a little too hard on said task, for you failed to realise how close to you he actually got — only doing so when you felt his chin rest on your shoulder and his arms sneak around your waist, loosely enough not to push any boundaries.

“Thank you…” he mumbled cutely, unable to see just how flustered you were. “You didn’t have to, though. Just being with you is enough to make me feel better”.

You bit your bottom lip in a poor attempt to avoid a smile from showing on your face, looking down to his intertwined hands over your stomach, before you found yourself covering them with your own and gently rubbing your thumbs on his soft skin.

“There was no harm in taking it one step further and making you a sweet treat, was there?” You asked, tilting your head back so you could look at him.

Hyunjin smiled softly, eyes going down to your mouth for a second before he nodded his head. It was only becoming harder not to lean in and press his lips to yours when you were so close to him.

Luckily —or not really— for him, you put some space between the two of you by undoing his hold around your waist and turning around, so you could properly look at him.

“I may have gotten a bit caught up and ended up making more cookie dough than I intended to, though” you confessed, undoing your ponytail and beginning to take off your apron. “So I put the rest of it in a container that I’m giving you to take back home later. Just keep it in the freezer and whenever you feel like having some preheat the oven at—what…” you shyly wondered when Hyunjin could not hold back a giggle, quietly placing the folded apron on the counter.

He shook his in disbelief, letting out another small laugh as his warm hands cupped your face.

I love you, is what he wanted to say.

Fuck, he loved you.

He loved how you cared for him and everyone you loved. Because you loved him, he knew you did, even if it was only platonically.

He loved how you had dropped everything that day, regardless of how busy you were, just to be with him when he said he needed you.

He loved how you showed affection by baking and doing small acts of service.

He loved the way you loved so beautifully, so selflessly; without asking for anything in return — although, unknown to you right then, he was willing to give you everything in return.

He loved you. All of you.

From head to toe, inside and out, he loved every last bit of you.

“You’re the best” he said instead, adoringly looking at you while his thumbs drew gentle circles on your cheeks.

“All I did was bake some cookies…”

“And you’re the best” he repeated, leaning in once more and tightly wrapping you inside his arms.

“Hyunie…” you sweetly called his name when he began to softly rock your bodies together.

“What, I said I wanted to hold you” he mumbled nuzzling a ticklish spot in your neck that had you letting out a laugh.

“I thought maybe you’d do that after I took the cookies out of the oven”.

At that, he smiled, pulling away just enough to look at you. “Now why would I do that, I’m taking every second I get”.

Rolling your eyes in amusement, you playfully tried to pry his hands away from your body. “You’re a dork”.

He chuckled, only tightening his hold on your waist and lifting you up with ease. “Maybe,” he sat you down on the counter, not wasting another second to pull you into his arms once again and to hide his face in the crook of your neck, all while you were still trying to process what had just happened. “But I did say I was coming over just to hold you, so…”

“Just to hold me?” You wondered, for once and for all hugging him back and feeling him relax under your touch.

“Just to hold you” he hummed, getting lost in the way your hand gently ran up and down his back.

“You won’t be eating the cookies I made especially for you then?”

He chuckled, somehow managing to pull you closer to him. “I will be eating all those and then taking the dough you told me about home with me”.

“I would’ve been very sad otherwise” you pushed it, earning a brittle laugh from him.

“You’re gonna have to text me the instructions, though, because otherwise I’ll most definitely end up fucking it up somehow and burning them”.

“I’d expect something like that from Han and not you, honestly” you admitted.

“Oh, he’s not allowed anywhere near my cookies”.

“Don’t be selfish now” you called him out.

“You made them especially for me, though” he stood his ground.

“Should I make a whole batch for him then?” You teased, pulling him away by his shoulders, so you’d meet his eyes right before you pensively stared at the ceiling. “Maybe one for Minho as well”.

“Yah, they can get their own person to bake for them” he called you out. “You’re mine”.

Trying your hardest to ignore the butterflies that had just been unleashed in your stomach, you played dumb. “Oh, so I’m like your personal baker now?”

He smirked, knowing all too well what you were doing. “You know that’s not really what I meant”.

Finding it hard to meet his eyes without growing nervous, you looked down to your lap instead, noticing his loose grip on your waist. “Let them at least try one if you don’t want me to send them some, then”.

“I’ll think about it after the nap you promised me” Hyunjin negotiated.

You chuckled, only then locking eyes with him. “We gotta wait until the cookies are done first. They take around ten minutes, there isn’t enough time left for us to actually fall asleep”.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t cuddle in the meantime” he fidgeted with the fabric of your t-shirt.

“I guess you’re right…” you agreed softly. “We could go to the sofa for now”.

“For now?” He questioned. “Where are we going next?”

“Didn’t you say you wanted to take a nap?” You confusedly asked right back.

“Yes?” His eyebrows furrowed. “I thought on the couch?”

“Oh,” you felt your cheeks burn. “The couch, of course”.

“Where were you thinking?” He smiled —more like, smirked— as he caught on.

“I’m not saying it” you sheepishly looked away, earning a throaty laugh from him that had him resting his forehead on your shoulder for a moment, as he collected himself.

“I have no problem napping in your bed as long as you’re okay with it” he managed to put into words what you refused to.

“I simply thought it’d be more comfortable but now I’m too embarrassed, so let’s just go to the sofa instead”.

“Don’t be,” he lovingly pulled a strand of hair behind your ear. “It’s all about comfort after all”.

“Never mind, I’m too ashamed now”.

“Couch then?” He suggested, not wanting to push your limits.

“I mean, I guess, but it’s gonna be uncomfortable though…” you mumbled, taking the two of you back to the night you fell asleep together on it, and how your bodies hurt the next morning.

He knew first hand that your couch wasn’t the best place to sleep on and that you weren’t just using it as an excuse to take him to your bed — although he wouldn’t mind it if you were.

“Then bed” he stated the obvious, unable to hide his grin.

You half laughed, half whined, letting your head fall on his shoulder to hopelessly hide yourself from this conversation.

“Y/N, if you don’t decide within the next five seconds, I’m choosing one and carrying you there”.

“You wouldn’t” you mumbled.

“Is that a challenge?”

You shrugged, still refusing to lift your head up and to give him a proper answer.

“Okay then,” he sighed, making your heart jump when you felt his hands grab the back of your knees to pull you closer to the edge of the counter —and, therefore, to him—. “Just for the record, I warned you”.

With that said, his hands travelled slightly up to the back of your thighs, lifting you up enough for you to wrap your legs around his waist out of instinct, just as a small, surprised squeal escaped your mouth.

This wasn’t platonic, you thought while you crossed the door and entered your living room. This was so way past being platonic.

His hands on your thighs, your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck while your face hid in it, as you were too shy right then to look up and meet his eyes that would be only a couple of inches away… These weren’t touches you’d share with a friend, let alone with just anyone else.

You could see the red lights in your head warning you about the risky path you were taking, and yet, you didn’t want to turn back around.

“Okay, last chance” he stopped right outside the door to your room. “Where are we napping”.

“I thought you were choosing instead?” You tilted your head back, finally earning enough courage to look at him.

“I was, but I’m trying to be a gentleman here and let you have the last word”.

You chuckled, feeling like you were losing your mind. “Just take me to the bedroom already”.

His head tilted back in surprise, eyes sparkling in a way you’d never seen before. “Oh?”

“No, don’t” you helplessly tried to fix it, placing a hand over his eyes so you wouldn’t have him giving you that look that for some reason made you so fucking weak. He giggled, accepting his fate as he could not use his hands right then to remove yours from his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that”.

“You know, when you say stuff like that I—”

“Yah, Hwang Hyunjin” you moved your hand down to cover his mouth instead, before he could finish his sentence.

“You’re the one who started it” his loud yet muffled words were enough for you to withdraw your hand completely, placing it back over his shoulder.

“I didn’t mean it like that, though?” You repeated your previous point.

He sighed overdramatically, shaking his head as he could not contain his amusement. “You really need to start watching your words”.

“Last time something like this happened, you said it was cute” you reminded him.

“Last time it happened, I wasn’t carrying you like this when we were alone at your place” he pointed out, managing to bring even more heat to your face. “I’m just a simple man, Y/N”.

“Ugh, can we just go take a nap before I get even more embarrassed?” You begged, having already shamefully hidden your face in the crook of his neck.

Hyunjin laughed lightly, silently complying with your wishes and entering your bedroom for once and for all, where he carefully laid you down on your bed before he slumped down next to you.

Not satisfied with just being next to you, he lied on his side to face you and threw an arm over your waist, so he could pull you closer and make the most out of this lazy evening with you.

However, instead of closing his eyes like you’d expected him to as soon as his head hit the pillow, he kept them open, using that moment to admire your face from up close and giving place to a comfortable silence to take over the room, as your eyes remained fixed on him as well and neither of you dared to look away from each other.

“You know, you’re supposed to close your eyes when you’re trying to sleep” you teased him in a whisper after what felt like minutes.

“You’re looking at me instead of closing them, too” he bit back, in a whisper as well.

“There’s no use for me to try and sleep yet, I have to go and take the cookies out of the oven any minute now”.

“Well, I guess I’ll just stare at you as well until that happens, then” Hyunjin said, and at that you could only laugh under your breath, shaking your head as your adoring eyes remained locked with his. “What?” He couldn’t help but nervously ask — somehow the look in your eyes feeling all too new for him and not knowing how to react.

“Nothing, I just…” you kept quiet for a moment, thinking carefully about your next words. “Never thought we’d be like this one day”.

“Like what, about to take a nap in your bed?” He joked.

You playfully shoved him off, having him take that small action of yours to his advantage by grabbing your hand, in order to keep you from pushing him again. “You know what I mean…”

He nodded quietly, staring down at your hands right as he intertwined his fingers with yours. “Is it weird?” He asked you, unable to hide the fear in his voice.

Staring down to your interlocked hands now resting in the small space between your bodies, you shook your head no, and Hyunjin released the air he didn’t realise he’d been holding for the five seconds it took you to give him a sincere answer.

“It’s just new,” you confessed, looking up at him. “Different. Not weird”.

Hyunjin smiled sweetly, leaning slightly in so that his head would rest closer to yours on the pillow — close enough for his breathing to mix with yours, for his nose to graze the tip of yours, and for a small tilt of his head to be all it’d take for him to press his lips to yours if he wanted to.

But he wouldn’t. No matter how bad he wanted to kiss you and how hard he was trying not to, he wouldn’t go as far as to close the gap between your mouths and press them together, because he wouldn’t push you.

The ball was in your court. It had been for a while now. He would only get as close as he could without making you uncomfortable, and you would be the one to make the final decision. Whenever you were ready, he would be there, ready as well to take whatever it was you were willing to give him.

The way he caught your eyes going down to his mouth, staring at it for what could be considered longer than normal, to then fix them back in his eyes before they went back down to his lips, just as he was hopelessly doing with yours right then, was enough to let him know you were considering taking the risk.

Nevertheless, right as he felt you move just an inch closer to him, just as he held his breath and thought maybe you would finally make the move and allow him to taste your lips like he had dreamed of countless times by now, the alarm you’d set up on your phone was heard going off from the kitchen.

You inevitably jumped up and away from him, undoing the previous hold of your hands while at it and clearing your throat, almost as if you’d just been pulled away from a trance.

“T-The alarm, I should, um…” you tried your best to compose yourself as you began to stand up. “The cookies…”

Hyunjin simply nodded, just as stunned, letting you know it was okay for you to go.

“Do you want me to bring them to you or maybe come with me and eat them in the kitchen or…”

He smiled. You were blabbering.

Cute.

“As much as I’m dying to try them,” he genuinely let you know. “I just want you to come back here already so we can go back to how we just were before the alarm went off”.

Feeling your cheeks burn, like it seemed to be the norm when you were around him now, you nodded; clumsily stumbling back and pointing towards the door, to let him know you were heading out of there.

With one last lingering look after he nodded his head for you to go, you left him alone in your room to shove his face into the pillow as a mixture of an incredulous laugh and a frustrated whine of his was muffled into it.

That was just his luck.

But he wasn’t crazy, was he? You had been staring at his lips and you did lean closer to him the moment before the alarm went off. The tension was so clear, so palpable, he couldn’t have imagined it. He wasn’t that delusional, was he?

He sighed heavily, resting on his back and defeatedly throwing an arm over his eyes. Had it not been for the stupid alarm, maybe he would be feeling your lips on his right then.

You, on the other hand, although just as frustrated as him, remained speechless, unable to understand what had just happened.

After having mindlessly turned off the alarm as you rushed to take the tray out of the oven, you just stood there in the middle of your kitchen, almost frozen, as you got once again lost in your thoughts.

You wanted to kiss him.

You could try and blame it on the atmosphere surrounding the two of you being just right and luring you into it, or maybe even on the way he looked particularly handsome that day and having his pretty face only inches away from you was being of no help at all. You were only human, after all. But even then, you couldn’t deny that, whatever the reason was, for a moment there you had really wanted to kiss him. Had you even leaned in at some point?

God, had it not been thanks to your alarm, you would probably have ended up rushing into something you were not ready for yet and turning your relationship with Hyunjin into a mess.

Were you really willing to kiss him regardless of the consequences?

It had been, what, a week since Chan opened your eyes about this whole situation with Hyunjin? Roughly one week since you started questioning everything? And you were already thinking of risking it all and kissing him?

You couldn’t just rush into things. Not with Hyunjin. Not when you weren’t sure about anything.

You didn’t know what you wanted, nor what you were looking for yet — either with Hyunjin or with anyone else for that matter. And you cared about him too much to even dream of playing with him.

Which didn’t mean you weren’t willing to explore your feelings for him. You were certain now more than ever that you did feel something for him. Maybe minimum, maybe just a small crush, but you couldn’t deny that there was a spark in your heart that ignited when it came to him. And you wanted to lean into that warm and safe feeling you got whenever you were with him.

You didn’t feel ready to jump into a new relationship just yet, and you didn’t exactly know what Hyunjin wanted from you either; for you knew that, in male language, flirting and giving someone special treatment didn’t always translate to wanting a serious relationship.

It felt too soon to ask him about his intentions with you, too entitled to demand an answer from him right then. But, so far, you were okay with how things were. You were just figuring out your feelings and the depth of them, and you guessed so was he.

Still, whatever it was that you felt, and whatever it was that he did, you couldn’t ignore that there was something going on between the two of you anymore. The conversations you held, the looks you exchanged and the small touches you shared during the past week… Furthermore, the tension you had felt only minutes ago and the urge to lean in and press your lips to his, were all the realisation you needed.

Taking a deep breath, feeling ready to go back to the man waiting for you in your room after managing to clear your mind, you grabbed your phone before you could head back. However, a particular Twitter DM caught your attention before you could do so. Standing in your place, you stared at the notification, reading Dahye’s words over and over.

‘Hey, girlie!’, followed by the smiley emoji with blushy cheeks, which could only come off as cynical from her.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You’d gotten a text like that once before in your life, by one of Hayun’s annoying friends trying to warn you about Mingyu and her, and you had wrongfully ignored it —only at first, until you could no longer look past the signs—, so you knew better than to ignore a text like this now. But that didn’t mean you were opening it today.

You had already gone through enough emotions that day. From waking up early to catch up with the project, to have Hyunjin publicly call you pretty on Twitter, to have him text you about feeling down and inevitably making you worry, to have him tell you he wanted to hold you, to have him actually hold you, to feel flustered as ever over the sudden couch or bed discussion whilst being carried by him, to feeling like kissing him for a moment there… You definitely needed a rest, and you wanted nothing but to do so in his arms.

Whatever it was that Dahye wanted to tell you, it could wait — for you knew it had to do with Hyunjin, and you were neither emotionally nor mentally prepared for yet another disillusionment.

Was it wrong of you to want to live in an illusion for just a little longer, in case Dahye’s DM ended up being bad news?

Either way, regardless of your wishes, the nauseous feeling you got at the simple sight of her name and the way your mind was sent spiraling because of her text, could only serve as a reminder of why you weren’t ready for a new relationship yet.

Not even bothering to take your phone back with you anymore, you locked it and left it on the kitchen counter before going back to your room.

Once there, a smile curved up your mouth at the sight of Hyunjin. He was now lying on his back with his hands behind his head, and his eyes had been closed until he felt you cross the door and they inevitably focused on you.

Without a word, he opened his arms for you to go over there. And, without a second thought, you did just that.

Feeling his arms wrap ever so tightly around you as soon as you crawled next to him, you let out a contented sigh as you instantly felt at ease; right before you realised just how close your face was to his and you hid it in his chest.

“What” you daringly mumbled when you felt his chest tremble and his laugh reached your ears.

Instead of answering you right away, he took you by surprise by pressing a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. “You’re adorable” he said, resting his chin on your head and tightening his hold on you.

“Just go to sleep already” you scolded him, in a way cuter voice than you’d intended, which had him laughing once again and mumbling something about how cute you were under his breath.

Feeling how nervous you got both by his words and by being that close to him again, and how you had clearly hidden your face in his chest to avoid having either of you possibly leaning in again, Hyunjin could only confirm that he had not imagined you staring at his mouth and leaning closer to it earlier that day.

Even though you were visibly nervous over it now, and although he could tell you didn’t feel ready just yet, just knowing that you were now beginning to see him in another light, just enough to look at him with longing and maybe even considering to kiss him, was enough for him to be on cloud nine.

He had come here because he needed to feel you close after Dahye planted all those doubts in his mind. He needed the reassurance that you didn’t see him the way she said, and he couldn’t be happier now that he had just confirmed that you were indeed able to look past the baby image you used to have of him.

In the end, he was right to tell her she knew nothing about your relationship, because she truly didn’t. She didn’t know how you acted around each other, how you talked to each other, how you looked at each other.

Only you and him knew how your relationship worked, and even when it came to the bits of it that neither of you were sure about, it was still only for the two of you to figure out.

He realised right then that he shouldn’t mind what outsiders —let alone Dahye of all people— had to say on your dynamics, and that he was actually okay with people not seeing the changes in the way you treated him as long as he was able to feel them.

After all, he was the one who almost got kissed by you when no one else was around.

tag list: @jehhskz @iknowyouknowminho @doohnut @saintcosette @lailac13 @kayleefriedchicken @rikibun @yongbokkiesworld @seungzsmin @beautifulcolorgarden @hyunetopia @velvetmoonlght @automaticpersonabatpaper @httpdwaekki @brinnalaine @wondering-out-loud @feelikecinderella @nujeskz @amarecerasus @liknws @nhyunn @midsoulz @tirena1 @tinyelfperson @thatonexcgirl @iovecb97 @hynier @phenomenalgirl9 @your-favorite-pirate @jin-from-the-block @yearofthetiger25 @quokkacidal @stayconnecteed @kwanisms @yoonguurt @143hyunes @iiriam @cookielixie @hyunlvrs @allyrarara @machaandlofi @mehli-00 @justiceforvillains @minhosprettywife @whats-my-question @armystay89 @jaiuneamesolitaiire @hyeon-yi @skzstannie @onlyhyunjin @shyshyshytwice @nicoleparadas @broken-glowsticks

945 notes · View notes