whatsthestorymorninghater - Tumblr blog

[whatsthestorymorninghater]

I Want To Disown My Family ...

I do think its funny i want to disown my family considering they disown me when i was 16, but I’m fed up with all the shit that has happened since then. 

When i was i think 15 nearly 16, my nan was diagnosed with Motor Neuron Disease and her second husband was caring for till the day she died. When I was 2 months shy of turning 17 years old, my nan’s husband, we’ll call him George, told my mother I ‘stole’ money from him. I lived in the same village as my nan and when my mother was told I ‘stole’ money, she went and told her friends in the village and George told the family I ‘took’ the money. The next day (Sunday), I went to the shop and all the people that walked passed me either looked at me funny or ignored me and at the time I didn’t understand why. It wasn't until George told me I was banned from his house and I couldn't see my dying nan. it got to Christmas and I was allowed to go to my nan’s for Christmas dinner, only after having to give an apology for something I didn’t do, and all I got was dirty looks and people shoving me out of the way ignoring me all because of a bullshit rumor. That is what made my family disown me. The thing is, I don’t really remember a time when I even cared about them to be honest. I have 2 cousins that are around the same age as me and my brother and I would say most of the time everyone cared about them more than me and my brother. That’s another story. I’m 24 next month and in the last 7 years, my family have only ever contacted me if they want or need something and its getting boring now. And they all lost me all the friends I had and I now have no friends and trust issues because of George. I mean, if you cant trust your family then who the hell can yo trust. 

If they disown me then maybe I should disown them. Don’t really need them anyway. 

[whatsthestorymorninghater]

I’m Getting Moaned At ...

You know your parents are fucked up when one of them told you they don’t give a shit about you and told you to die and the other is always bitching at you for things that are not even your fault. Just yesterday, all I heard from my mother was ‘argh my ankle hurts, I’m in a lot of pain’. That wasn’t even my fault. She was the one who fell on her fat arse in the first place and twisted her ankle. She told me yesterday lunch time she was going to hospital and I told her they won’t do anything and will just tell you to put ice on the ankle and take painkillers. And guess what? They apparently told her she ‘damaged’ 2 ligaments in her ankle and she needs to rest it and take painkillers and ice. Basically the same shit I told her by someone professional. But I know for a fact she didn’t ‘damage’ any ligament in her ankle because it would be more bruised and swollen than it already is (I had grade 1 MCL a few years ago and was in less pain than shes complaining about), and she didn’t even say what was ‘damaged’ about it in the first place. My mother came back from college today (that’s another story), and she was moaning again about her ankle like she hasn’t moaned enough about it. Then she got really pissed because she got a letter in the post today saying bailiffs are coming to our house because she owes I think £1500 give or take in council tax and i know for a fact she is, or she is going to try and blame me and my brother for it because at the moment, we both are unemployed and not getting any money (and again that’s another story) and we apparently are not helping with the bills. Well, I’m sorry love but your name is on the tenancy agreement and you are the one who is in and out of a job and supposed to be paying it. I always get blamed for everything, especially when it comes to my mother bitching about anything and everything. I really so wish I could move out just so I can get rid of her. 

[whatsthestorymorninghater]

What Am I Even Doing ...

I don’t even know what I am doing with my life anymore. I don’t have a job so I am sat at home not even doing anything because I guess that is all I am good at right now. But the thing is, whilst I am at home twiddling with my thumbs, there are people the same age as me, a few years older than me and even younger than me that are living their lives the way they want to and I have no idea what to do. I am friends with 2 people on Facebook who were in the same school year as me and they have what a lot of people want. The first person is engaged to be married this year (I think) and has three kids and the other person has 2 kids and had been married since I think September/October last year (2017). I am also friends with someone else on FB, same age as me again and she is engaged to be married and there are 2 other people also who are single mothers to a child each. It frustrates me because these people are living their lives and I am stuck at home with no job and I have no idea what i am doing with my life. I always wanted to live outside of my family’s shadow, but right now, I can’t even get outside of my own house. 

[whatsthestorymorninghater]

I Need A Chance At Something

I never get a chance for anything in my life. I can’t make friends because no one will let me in, I can’t seem to get a job because no one will let me try and I can’t leave the house without people judging me without knowing who I am and right now, I am stuck at home doing nothing. All because I don’t get given chances. All I need is a little (or even a big) help from someone who wants to care. Please, someone help me with my life!

[whatsthestorymorninghater]

What Should  I Do?

As I post more on here, you will know what my past was really like from my point of view (the truthful side might i add) and not what others have to say about it. But, I should be honest and say I actually have no idea what the hell I am doing with my life. I’m 23 years old, no job, no friends, still live at home because I have nothing to live for, no money and no where else to go and I have no way of knowing what I really want to do with my life. I’ve been stick for 2 and a half years and I really need help.