I had this client. He said he wanted an E-commerce website building (E-cigarettes and Vapes). Completely custom. I was starting out, and accepted to build the website for a tiny amount. I agreed, and tried to agree a design.
Client: I want this black background, with blue text. That will look cool.
Me: That will be difficult to see.
Client: Well… let’s see how it looks.
Set the colours
Client: Can we make that blue stand out. Make it bold.
Me: Sure.
I update the colors.
Client: Hmm. Can we make it brighter?
Eventually it’s white text on black
Me: May I suggest we go with black text on white?
Client: Ok … Oh that looks better. Why didn’t you suggest that before?
Me: (losing will to live). That’s fine. Now, for the header…
Client: Well, I want it to be this bubble font. Let’s make it turquoise. And I want a smoke-filled background.
I made the design, hoping he’d realise how bad the design it was (looking at the page was giving me a headache).
Client: I like that. It’s different from the others.
Me: (internally) Yeah, because it’s terrible in every way.
We went back and forth on design elements, and eventually is was readable. Then we get onto functionality. Shopping cart, Payment gateway, and a growing list of features.
Client: I want it simple - nothing too advanced.
I made a simple E-commerce website that was simple enough.
Client: What is this? It’s too basic. I want more features.
Me: Ok. What features?
Client: I don’t know. Make it better, like all the other ones. I want [list of things Amazon has].
Me: Ok. Though, I will have to charge extra
Client: Why? Amazon didn’t pay for those features!
Me: They most certainly paid tens of thousands of dollars for a team of professionals to produce those features.
Client: Says you!
I build several features. He’s yelling about the project taking too long. He has already threatened to hire a massive company to build this for him. He claims what I produced is rubbish, and that I am taking too long (in total I have spent 4 months working when I can).
Me: Well, if you are unhappy, I can undo the changes made, and we can part ways. Though, a company will charge thousands of dollars to build a bespoke E-commerce site, and could take up to a couple of months to build the product to your requirements.
Client: But at least it will actually be decent.
Me: Ok, I understand. I will remove my website from your server; and we will part ways.
Client: But that’s my website. You cannot take it.
Me: Well, since you will not pay, this is my Intellectual Property. We signed no contract to state otherwise. I have setup the server, sorted out the security (with SSL). I am building your website for a pittance, frankly. If you intend to hire another party, I retain all rights.
The client started getting abusive, calling me a robbing (a word rhyming with blunt).
Me: I’m sorry you feel robbed, but I have not been paid; and you will not work with me.
More cursing from the client.
Me: I think it is better that we part ways.
I took down the website.
Client: What’s going on? Why isn’t the website up?
Me: Well, you did not want to pay me for my services, and it will be better that we go back to before I accepted the project
Client: I don’t care. Either put the website up, or I will kick in your front door and [continuing list of abuse].
I’d have been scared, except that this client had a list of health issues, and wouldn’t have been able to do anything.
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