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whenwillsherlockgetmilk · 7 years ago

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Touken Week - Returned

Day 5 (sorry it’s late)

2781 words

Summay - With only one week until his glamorous death, Kaneki wants just one more coffee.

His apartment is cluttered, scattered with files - a pure mess. At a desk with tipped over stationary, papers, and empty mugs, Kaneki sits, hands clasped together. Again, he holds Hinami's file, reminding himself of the plan, memorising it. It doesn't matter if he had everything engraved when he was orchestrating the rescue, he can't forget anything, not even the littlest detail. He can't fail.

He goes to make another coffee, carefully repeating the steps both Touka and Yoshimura had taught him years ago. His coffee had always been less compared to theirs, average, and while theirs was enough to bring tears to his eyes, his skills have really degraded. Now it's just a watery mess, tasteless and no better than sludge. It's so disgusting, and instead of forcing it down his pathetic throat as he usually does, he tips the cup into the sink, watching as the liquid slowly goes down the drain, until it's washed away by the tap.

Its short lived existence reminds him of himself, and that that date is soon, really soon. Like a week away.

He's going to die in a week.

The thought of time prompts his remembrance of :re. How long had it been since he last visited? Since he last saw Touka, or Yomo. He had also been avoiding Hinami, who was rotting away in Cochlea, with only a disposal date to keep her company. Everything has been on his mind since... always, and, for the first time, he wants a break, a distraction.

He has just a week left; he should be able to treat himself, right? Even if his useless self doesn't deserve even a glimmer of happiness, of hope, he should at least get a parting gift. A good coffee.

Despite his hopeful words, he can't bring himself to step out the car parked in front of the :re. So instead, Kaneki keeps the engine running. A gentle melody plays from the radio, one that is also playing in the cafe (he doesn't know that).

He watches their cafe, silent.

A blur appears in the glass of the shop, and it doesn't take much for him to know it's one of them. He freezes. Even though his car windows are tinted, the black vehicle definitely looks suspicious -like a cop's car, or, for ghouls, a dove's car. And the last thing he wants to do is scare them. To give them the fear that their lives are over. Like a repeat of Anteiku. The two of them, alone, lonely, had rebuilt something so special that it held even a place in Haise's heart (and now his, even if he hasn't been there since his memories returned), from the first time he stepped in. The place was something Haise hated being away from, who had always give out of his ignorant way to visit. It was Haise's refuge (dream) - and he's sure he's not the only one who shares the same opinion. Anteiku was a safe place for ghouls, and no one cared if the person they were serving were ghoul or human. With all the books, this place is just as homey, maybe more. As a dove, he had been selfish enough (it was Haise - it's his fault), a dove, frequenting the cafe, even bringing along his dangerous companions.

The person comes closer into view, and he notices it's Yomo. Kaneki ducks, making sure at least one eye can see him. The older man peers suspiciously at the vehicle (of course, Yomo is an extremely aware person), scanning every crevice before closing the blinds, covering his view. In pure silence, he sits up, blinks, trying to catch the breath that was suddenly ripped away from him.

They were making eye contact, Kaneki swears it.

Did Yomo realise? Does he know who it is?

He drives off immediately after that, the tyres skidding and shrieking, speeding along empty roads until he is parked in some empty car park. It's like he can barely breathe, but he is panting heavily, the steamed up windows proof of that. He rolls them down, going as far as to stick his head out the window, trying to catch as much air as he can. It doesn't help - the lightheadedness isn't going away at all, not even a little bit, and neither is his rushing heart, or his sweaty palms, his anxiety eating him away.

Why did that affect him so much?

His stomach feels queasy, and his head has been tipped out for so long that the blood is getting to him, making him feel worse.

He needs more air.

As if in a drunken haze, he weakly pushes open the door, having to grab onto the seat in order to stabilise himself while he leaves the confining spaces of his car. It takes a few seconds of dizziness before he is able to stand straight, and even more seconds before he can take his first step. He feels like a baby, trying to walk for the first time. Perhaps, if someone saw him, they'd think him unhinged, or terribly wasted, maybe even stoned, but he doesn't want to think or care about it, just focused on moving forward.

An idea suddenly comes into his head, his gloved hands coming together in thought, clenching. It's something he hasn't done in a long time, but it would be a substitute from what he thinks he needs.

With a purpose, Kaneki walks, regaining himself enough to unnoticeably stumble into the first coffee shop he sees. This was something Haise enjoyed doing, before finding :re, wondering about alone or with friends and stepping into a random cafe, judging their coffee (he had always boasted that he could tell if a shop had good coffee, but Kaneki doesn't care about the coffee - it wouldn't be as terrible as his).

There is one other person there, but they leave after he steps in, suspiciously. Maybe it's a ghoul, Kaneki ponders, but at this moment he couldn't care less. He asks for a black coffee, and sits where he wants to sit when the barista leaves, because the place has now cleared out. There's only a gentle melody (the selection isn't as good as what he assumes is Touka's handpicked choices for :re) playing in the background while he waits and scrutinises his surroundings. Before his judgement can delve deep, his drink arrives, and he waits for the woman to busy herself behind the counter before taking a sip.

No good.

It's not good enough.

Why? He thought he wouldn't care.

The coffee burns his throat as he takes large sips. As a rank two, he wasn't this picky; it always felt as if something was missing, but Haise, ignorant as he was, didn't care too much. When he (finally) found :re, he stopped paying visits to the other cafes, too obsessed with their coffee and Touka to go anywhere else.

He craves it. He needs their particular coffee - the manager's special recipe. His sanctuary. There's no problem with anyone else's coffee, he realises, it's his problem. His addiction.

'Cheating on us?'

That voice - he knows that voice. His throat closes up as he looks at her, seeing a smile that meant her quip was friendly. There's a small bag in her hands, the strong whiff of coffee beans reaching him, and Kaneki realises this will be his last encounter with their coffee.

'You've forgotten about us.' She continues, almost playfully (Haise wouldn't have noticed, but he knows Touka, and the sad gleam in her single eye), and he wants to shake his head, tell her how terribly wrong she is - Haise forgot, he was an idiot, a moron. Kaneki can't get them off his mind.

'N-not at all,' he licks the cracks of his dry lips, desperately trying to bring back moisture, 'I've been meaning to visit.' There's no other excuse he can give, and he watches her, trying to figure out what Touka would do next. Even though he's sitting down, and she's standing next to him, it somehow feels like he's the one lingering, the one making it awkward, the one who shouldn't be here.

She looks puzzled and lost for words, as if unsure of how to interact with him. Her lips purse, then straighten, then tighten even more, and Kaneki realises that she's the one who feels awkward, that she shouldn't be here.

'I should ge-'

'Do you want to stay?' The abruptness of his words shocks the both of them, and Touka looks very sad. 'Please.'

Her shoulders slope as her feet bounce, trying to decide, trying to think.

Is this what she wanted? Maybe.

She had seen him from outside while passing by, deciding to greet the person who she hadn't seen in months, except on :re's television, with a shocked look.

That was it, a simple but rushed choice, but Touka didn't expect him to invite her to stay, because this isn't Sasaki. This brooding, conflicted, locked in turmoil, distant personality is Kaneki. But he isn't going to admit he's back, and she can do nothing but play along.

The chair screeches in the cafe as Touka sits, fiddling her fingertips together. She notices Kaneki sigh, his shoulders falling, his eyes closing as he takes a sip of his practically empty cup.

'Your coffee is better.'

Touka smiles at his compliment, making him want to scream something along the lines of 'he's back, he's not a stranger'. But what can he do? Their relationship had been strained since he was kidnapped, and in her new home he had tormented her with Haise Sasaki. He selfishly wishes he was the weakling he used to be, so he can cherish all their time before everything went to shit.

'Thank you.'

Haise never got to do this, experience just sitting down in peaceful silence with the cute waitress. He's aware that Haise, a form of his sub-conscience, had relished each time he was near her, when they'd talk, or when his shoulder would accidentally brush hers, the way their fingers sometimes touched, but he never got to experience this.

From the corner of his eye, Kaneki can see the barista staring at them with a glint of a scowl, as if waiting for something. It is when the employee purposely coughs that Kaneki checks his watch, realising both had well overstayed their welcome. Motioning to her with a catch of her eyes, Touka catches on pretty quickly, cringing.

They both stand, muttering apologies as the pass the huffing waitress. On the way out, Touka murmurs her understanding of those feelings, finishing with how she it doesn't bother. As long as the customer is happy, they are welcome stay as long as they want. Selfishly, Kaneki wonders if that's directed towards him. Haise had spent many late nights in :re, often losing track of time, but she had always let him stay with a smile, even topping up his coffee before starting to close. As much as he wanted to, Haise never had the gall to talk about anything except coffee (in reality, Touka didn't want to risk him not returning, which happened anyway. But she still would've let him stay).

'How are you going to get home?' He asks, concern written into his words. It's too dark for someone like her to go home alone, reminding himself of their true first meeting, when she revealed herself a ghoul.

Touka looks confused, and he knows she hadn't thought about it until now. Well, she probably hadn't expected to stay out this late.

'I can drive you.' Kaneki offers; it's his fault she's out so late with no ideal way to go back, so he should take responsibility. Touka gives him a confused glance as she bites her tongue. Since when can he drive? Guessing her thoughts, he has to force down a smirk. 'But the car's parked a little way from here.'

'That's fine. T-thank you.' The smile he gives her isn't fake, pleased to have extended their time.

They make idle chatter while walking, Kaneki having to slow down slightly to remember what direction he had to go. He hadn't exactly been paying attention on his way here. But Touka seems to know the ward better (expected), walking a step ahead, and after all this time she is still the one leading him, leaving Kaneki to watch her back.

This time, however, she's not completely abandoning him, lingering for him to join her.

They get to the car park, their voices echoing in the hollow structure, and Touka assumes his is the shiny, black one.

He unlocks the car, going as far as to open her door from the inside once he's in. The atmosphere is silent as she gets in, her petite body crunching against the leather seats. At that moment, he realises that no one else had come in his car, not even Furuta, because he doesn't want him there.

'To :re?' She nods to him, affirming what he already knew. A small part of him is scared to go back. What if Yomo is still up, waiting for Touka? What if he's asleep? Either way, he'd tell Touka about the suspicious car he had seen.

He'll give a good description, because Yomo is observant, and she would recognise the vehicle he's talking about - the very one she is riding in. What would happen then?

'Lets go.'

He makes sure to be gentle while driving, not being nearly as reckless as he usually is. The last thing he wants to do is put Touka in harm's way, or get stopped, as they would clearly see her face as he explains he is a ccg agent. That would cause an uncomfortable atmosphere, for the both of them.

Silent, she watches the window, the blurring lights passing by, Kaneki's eyes occasionally flickering to her relaxed state.

They approach :re, and Kaneki sees that the light is turned off, meaning Yomo had probably retired upstairs. He stops the car, keeping the engine running as he unlocks the doors to let her leave (he is tempted to do the opposite, just have one last minute together). Slowly, Touka opens the door, stepping out before she turns to face him again. His finger is tapping anxiously on the steering wheel as he waits, waits for what she'll do.

'Thank you for the ride.' He knows what's coming next, and he is so close to covering his ears as to not hear it.

'Goodbye.'

Don't go.

'I hope to see you again,' she says wistfully, 'our shop isn't the same without you.'

Please.

She steps out and bows to him, the clicks of her low-heeled shoes fading as she gets further from him.

Wait!

'I-I...' She turns back to look at him, and that's the moment he needs, to memorise this final moment. Her matured face, soft, pale blue locks, fluffy hair, sloped nose, smooth skin and full lips he bets are even smoother. It's just... she's so beautiful. By the time he has engraved this moment into his heart, his skin, he recollects his thought, knowing what he has to do.

'I don't know. My work schedule is pretty busy.' The hand on his chin gives him away, and Touka gives him the same glare she had given him the last time they were together. That time, she had knocked some sense into him, and some part of him secretly wishes that could happen now. Convince him that he's wanted around, is loved.

The way she glances at him makes him suspect something - she knows. Maybe she knows everything, or just a little bit, but she was probably aware from the start that she was sitting with Kaneki Ken, not Haise, the eager customer. With her staring at him, expectantly, it feels like he's on display, and she's not wasting any time to pick him apart, to study him.

For a moment, her face turns anguished, and she sighs in utter defeat before giving him a sad smile, like the one she had given Sasaki.

'I guess it is. Have a nice night, before your work load eats you up.' He wants to let out a bitter chuckle at her remark.

It's all too cruel.

This is his punishment, what he deserves, to watch her back as she leaves. He had walked out on her years ago, it's only fair Touka returns the favour. At least he got to see her one last time.

He watches as she disappears into her home, waiting until she's gone to hunch over the steering wheel. Something makes his eyes blur, his vision similar to when he forgets his glasses.

Just one week.

#toukenweek #touken #kanetou #Touka Kirishima #i actually wrote this when toukenweek was announced #and now im posting it late

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whenwillsherlockgetmilk · 7 years ago

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Touken Week Day 4 - Haise

6546 words

Summary - Human au where Haise is a librarian and Touka is in high school. Contains smut.

Sasaki Haise doesn’t need an alarm clock. He’ll wake up before he needs to be awake, and ready before he needs to be ready. In his youth, he was always early for school, and classes, and now he’s early to work. It’s how he likes things, since day one. No one expects him to be late, and he always jokes that if he’s late to work, then something terrible has happened to him. Something unspeakable.

Today is just like any other day.

The sky is dark when his eyes open, and he groggily reaches for his glasses. In his drowsiness, his hand almost sweeps the spectacles off the nightstand, but he manages to catch them. He breathes a sigh of relief. When they’re on, his vision clears, and the dark ceiling isn’t looking any less blurry (it’s too dark).

Cold feet touch the floor (or is it the other way round) as he jumps, looking for his slippers. He almost trips up on a book, which he isn’t too surprised at, and he finds the light switch.

‘Good,’ he mutters to himself. There aren’t as many books littered on the floor as the previous night, and once again he futilely tries to cram the novels into several of his bookshelves, not bothered when it doesn’t work. Well, he didn’t expect anything else; there’s a simple solution - he just needs another bookshelf.

From there, he pulls on the neatly pressed clothing he left on the wardrobe the night before. He checks the time of the watch he just put on and adjusted, pleased when he doesn’t have to leave just yet, he would be super early if he left now, and has more than enough time to make himself an instant coffee. He’s not too big on eating breakfast, usually the watery beverage is enough to keep him going.

His hair is messy, ruffled, and he quickly smooths it over with deft fingers, but it resumes its previous position. Well, it’s not a problem for him. Before leaving, Haise makes sure he has both keys, and sets off to work.

Walking the route he’s walked countless times, he allows himself to think.

His job doesn’t give him a lot of money (it’s enough to keep his rent and pay his bills - he lives alone, and isn’t the type to waste appliances, except his relentless cooking), but it’s something that he enjoys doing, and that’s what matters to him. It might sound idealistic, but this job is perfect for him. It allows him to interact with different people, as well as being in a comfortable atmosphere all day.

Luckily no one walks on his path, it being much too early and not in the direction of any bus stops or train stations (cars don’t pass that often either), and no one hears his little mutters to himself. It’s a force of habit, thinking aloud, but no one’s complained about it so far.

He stands at the library’s door, fishing for keys. The jangle is loud in the empty neighbourhood, not a soul in sight, the warm room welcoming him. Once inside, Haise takes in a deep breath of the sweet fragrance of old books, as he always does - a sort of tradition. His coat rests on a chair behind the counter, his footsteps echoing as he wanders around.

Now he just has to wait.

It’s empty, with the library just opening, and he has some time to sort out little tasks before their usual patrons join them. His fingers brush the spines of titles, watching them with interest. So many books are here, tempting him to read every one of them.

As any good employee is, he is ready to assist the first person as soon as they enter in the doorway. Today, it’s the elderly couple who usually visit, and always make pleasant chatter with Haise. Later, a mother and child (who looks too old not to be in school) approach him, the mother asking for the children’s section. They take a seat, and he hears the mother’s soft voice reading the stories he heard when he was young. It fills him with nostalgia, but he doesn’t think too hard about it because more people are coming.

Just like a any normal day.

Although he can never say the library’s busy, it’s cozy enough, and the chattering atmosphere makes it welcoming. He’ll gush about the new arrivals to anyone willing to listen (most want to hear about it anyway, so he’s sure it doesn’t count as pestering).

The hours are lost to mundane tasks, like reorganising books and logging new ones into the old computer system. Most people are independent in this place, only asking when they are bothered to. It’s nice to talk to people, fresh and common faces. He’s happy to assist people, direct them to the books they’re looking for. Doing this satisfies him, and he’s always ready to help anyone who needs it.

There’s the chatter from the school children outside, who are just passing by to get home or wherever they’re going. They rarely stop by, and occasionally the high school children come in, or the university students, wanting to get some studying done, but not too often. Now they use their laptops at home, which are admittedly better than the library’s computers. Though Haise has suggested getting new computers, the public library doesn’t have enough funding to purchase them, nor is anyone too bothered, so they simply sit on the computers, collecting dust.

Everything inside is a quiet chatter - no one needs assistance, quite happy to do their own thing. Haise has nothing to do now except watch and make sure everything is okay, even though he doubts anything will go wrong in a library.

Even though the day’s been simple enough, Haise has been on his feet constantly, so, with a sigh, he finally takes a seat behind the counter. Oh, he’s forgotten to put some books away, which are sitting at the counter, but he’ll sort it out later. For now, he’ll just close his eyes and—

‘Hey?’ The interruption makes him jump, his head instantly turning to the source of the commentary. He first catches sight of a schoolbag resting near a hip, a high school uniform, noticing her short hair. His eyes trail up as he looks at a young face, who is staring at him expectantly.

'O-oh,’ this is awkward. The first time he takes a break is when someone finally needs him. But it doesn’t matter, he’d prefer to help someone than lazily sitting in a chair. 'How can I help you?’ Finally looking at her, he notes the girl’s irritated expression, but he suspects it has nothing to do with him. Her hands clench the strap of her bag tightly, as if regretting coming here at all.

'Do you know where the literature books are?’ His face instantly brightens up, and Touka has to bite back an eye roll. An obvious bookworm, who is probably obsessed with reading and can actually understand that crap.

Annoying.

It’s not fair that her literature teacher hounds her to read stories that she doesn’t understand (and hates with every fibre of her being).

The attendant stands up, giving her a smile she supposes is given to everyone who enters.

'Of course,’ he pipes up, suddenly not as awkward anymore, 'please follow me.’ She drags her feet as he leads her past bookshelves about cooking and relationships and anything that comes to mind, and pauses when he does, watching him poke his cheek thoughtfully as he looks around him.

'What exactly are you looking for?’ Touka wracks her mind, trying to remember what her teacher had said, even though she had drowned him out from the start of the lesson. Her feet shuffle, relieved yet irritated when a name comes to mind.

'Anything by Takatsuki Sen.’ The information seems to please him even more, and she instantly pegs him for one of those freaks who enjoy her dark stories. Probably gets off to them - he seems weird enough, with those rounded glasses that literally no one wears and his sesame-pudding hair that can’t be natural.

He nods in response, once again taking her through the library until they get directly in front of several books with the intimidating name plastered on the edge.

'Is that all?’

She ignores him, deciding to lean towards the shelves to study them.

Much to her dismay, he lingers as her fingers delicately trace the spine, trying to choose the one that looks the smallest (smaller books should be easier to read, right?), and Touka feels slightly ticked off by his presence. Shouldn’t he have something else to do?

'Thanks.’ She says curtly, her tone harsher than she intended. Oh well. At least he seems to get the hint, his feet dancing awkwardly. As she suspected, the strange man gives her a quick bow before leaving, and Touka finally feels her muscles relax.

Now that she isn’t being watched, she sharply plucks a random book, feeling that she shouldn’t waste her time picking something she won’t enjoy anyway, studying the title as her eyebrow ticks. Touka takes a seat at an empty table, setting down everything she needs before stretching out her arms, preparing herself for the next hours.

Let’s do this.

Haise checks his watch. The library’s closing time is around… now. He peers over to the one person left, seeing the girl from earlier hunched over a desk, with a pen in one hand and a Takatsuki book in the other.

Ah, it’s his favourite.

Takatsuki Sen’s language is poetic, and perfect, and brilliant. He knows it’s a popular choice for the school curriculum, despite its dark themes.

Lost in thought, his attention is taken away by a strained groan, coming from the high school girl. It’s clear that she’s struggling, and Haise feels guilty watching her difficulty with the story he knows so well. Still, he maintains his distance, because earlier she seemed very impatient with him, and he doesn’t want to intrude.

She doesn’t notice as he scoots a little closer to her table, and when he finally speaks the girl twitches, dropping everything in her hands. There’s a scribble on her small amount of notes from when he startled her, and the glare she gives him almost makes him jump back.

'N-need any help?’ The look she gives him shakes his confidence, and he regrets going up to her in the first place. She’s intimidating.

'Nope,’ Touka replies, gripping her pencil with vigour, trying to stop herself from lashing out at a random employee - the only employee. Seriously, shouldn’t there be more people here; he’s the only one.

The man leaves her alone, stepping away with a dejected face, making her feel a small bit of guilt. Well, no need to bother about that.

It takes her another five minutes of staring at the same sentence, then her notes, for her to finally pack her stuff up. She doesn’t bother to look, shoving everything on the table, including the very book she’s trying to forget about (the sudden weight goes unnoticed by her).

Basically, she gives up.

Again, she feels guilty, because Yoshimura was kind enough to give her the day off for studying, and she hasn’t done anything except feel like an idiot. As she leaves, she peers around, hearing small hums coming from an area hidden in the maze of bookshelves. She says nothing, leaving the public library, making her way to her apartment.

'Huh?’ Haise comes from around the corner, looking around with a whip of his head. Did he hear something?

Looking around, he notices that the last patron of the day has left, and that she took the book. That’s troublesome. In order to take books home, people have to register, so the library can make sure no books randomly go missing. He just has to have hope that she’ll return, which alone makes him grimace - someone that annoyed wouldn’t come back, would they? Unless they were trying to fuel their anger.

It’s fine. Probably. Haise can go home now; he’s alone, and he’s sure no one else will come.

As long as she returns…

Back at her apartment, Touka taps her pen in frustration, staring at her irritating lack of notes. Vaguely, she remembers the meek librarian offering help, and she can’t help but think 'I should’ve said yes’.

For Touka, school more or less drones on. It’s the same lessons, some she pays attention too, others she doesn’t. Literature is as shitty as usual, even more so when she is reminded of the precious time she wasted yesterday. The time she spent slaving over something she still can’t understand, or read properly, and after a while everything became so jumbled that all she could see were lines.

At least she put in the effort, she thinks, excusing herself.

'Touka-chan,’ Yoriko whispers, leaning over to her while the teacher’s back is turned, 'Can I borrow a pen?’

'Yeah,’ Touka huffs, retrieving her bag from the floor, 'just take it from my bag.’ She passes her the bag, focusing more on the ruffle of Yoriko’s hands through her possessions than the teacher’s boring words. From behind her, she can hear familiar giggles, shooting her head back to give her best friend a glare.

'Touka-chan,’ she starts, her tone teasing, 'I thought you hated literature.’

'I do.’

'Then why do you have a book?’ She brings it from under the desk, wriggling the cover. Touka’s eyes dot around with each movement, trying to read the title.

Yoriko feigns a gasp, 'And a Takatsuki Sen book too. You hate these.’

Touka recognises it as the novel she was trying to read yesterday (she doesn’t want to admit it - it’s a blow to her pride), but it’s not hers.

'That’s not mine.’ She doesn’t remember getting one. 'Let me see it.’

When Yoriko doesn’t immediately give it to her, she snatches the book off her, and would flick her forehead if she wasn’t so damn far behind her.

With a confused gaze, she tries to figure out where the hell this book came from. Her fingertips dance along the spine, and when she nudges the hardback cover so she can peek inside, she remembers, finally. It had said 'property of the public library’, and she feels an annoying flush make her way onto her cheeks. Damn it. She didn’t want to go back into that place, but she will, she has to, in order to return the novel she kind of stole. The librarian with the unusual hair probably wouldn’t be too happy if one of his shitty books goes missing.

But the trip wasn’t that bad, truthfully.

Despite hating the literature aspect of her visit, it was actually peaceful. The library allowed her to study in a quiet enough place, with comfortable chatter, unlike her own room, which is always so silent during her study sessions that it makes her want to yank her hair out after the constant scraping of her stationary against the paper, mixed with the loud thoughts of whatever she is struggling with on that day.

Whatever. She’ll go back after school. Yoriko’s teasing stopped when Touka explained the events at lunch, and she even offered to accompany her, but Touka refused, not planning on staying too long. It would be a waste of time.

In biology, she diligently writes her notes, jotting down almost everything her teacher says, just because she wants to. The amount she’s written is more than anybody else’s, a fact she isn’t bothered by. Who cares if she wants to enjoy school, relishing the subjects that she actually cares about.

Just as she planned, once the school day ends, she goes to the library, seeing the same guy as yesterday. His head perks up at her arrival, and she notices the recognition in his eyes.

'Hello again,’ the cheerful weirdo gives her a cheerful smile, eyes crinkling. It makes her think he must be pathetic. Doesn’t he have a life outside of this place?

From the look he gives her, Touka thinks he actually looks pleased to see her again, until she remembers why she showed up in the first place. She fishes through her bag, holding the book out, ready to give it too him. As he gently takes it back, she quickly explains.

'I took this yesterday. Sorry.’

He smiles at her before going to inspect the book. It ticks her off, and she thinks that he expected it damaged or something, like she couldn’t take care of a fucking book she barely touched.

'I’m sure it was an accident.’ He reassures, Touka detecting no hint of sarcasm, 'Anyway, you can register here i-if you want, and take any book you like. It’s free—’

'I’m good.’ Touka replies, having no interest at all to stay longer than she wants to. 'I just came to return this.’

Taking a sweep of the library, she turns to leave, stopping when a biology textbook catches her eye. Touka had been searching online for good textbooks, but she didn’t have a lot of money to spend, so she gave up trying. Going to the shelf, a part of her rejoices when she sees a whole aisle of science books, looking at each one with curiosity. She plucks the one that caught her eye, happy that she can read it for free.

She goes to the same seat as the previous day, at the same table, dumping her schoolbag so she can take out everything she needs.

From afar, Sasaki inspects the high school girl, her eyes lighting up in a way he recognises in himself. It makes him feel nostalgic, and slightly pleased, to have someone so enthusiastic about a library book.

Once again, she is the last person there, happily taking notes.

A hard worker, he internally notes.

Once again, it reminds him of him, where he would get so lost in a story he looses track of time. He doesn’t want to stop her, especially after the way she looked yesterday - stressed and lost - so he simply sits at his desk, prepared to keep the library open for as long as she needs it.

Some time later, she comes to the desk, holding the textbook to her chest, her head hung.

'Can I register? Please?’

Sasaki smiles.

'Of course,’ he begins setting it up on his computer, 'I’ll have to ask you a few questions.’ Understanding, she nods.

'Name?’

'Touka Kirishima.’ He hums as he types, thinking that she has a nice name.

'Address?’

Touka hesitates for a moment, deciding to answer his questions anyway. This guy is just doing his job, and she’s pretty sure he’s harmless. If anything, honestly, he looks more the type to be taken advantage over than the type to take advantage. It’s fine.

Minutes later she has an account, and is already checking out the textbook.

'Kirishima-san, thank you for registering. It’s nice to have more people in our community.’ The words make her cringe, but she smiles nonetheless. 'I’m Sasaki Haise.’ He adds. He doesn’t have to introduce himself to visitors, but he likes to anyway. It makes it feel more personal, and he prefers to not keep people completely in the dark about the one they’re giving their personal information to.

She nods, carefully placing the book in her bag, eyes alight as she leaves.

Haise is delighted when Kirishima-san comes to the library everyday for the rest of the school week. She always sits down at the same place, slowly going through the biology book, or doing any piece of homework she has.

He can tell when she is doing literature, because she’s agitated, and always looks ready to hit something (she slams the desk sometimes, but he’s too afraid to tell her not to do that). Each time, he’s tempted to propose his help again, remind her that his offer still stands, but she didn’t look pleased the first time, so he’s afraid he would be disturbing her even further.

He’s wheeling around a tray of books, putting them where they belong, when she shuffles behind him, surprising him so much that several books topple from the shelf.

'He-hello Kirishima-san.’

'Can you help me?’ She whispers, the reluctance in her voice telling him she would rather not ask.

'W-with what?’

'This.’ She holds up The Black Goat’s Egg, watching it distastefully.

Maybe she thought he’d ridicule her, judge her, wondering why a high schooler can’t read a high level book, so she is completely caught off guard when he smiles.

'Of course.’

They go to sit down. Haise is patient with her, helping her with all the kanji, helping her understand parts of the story. It’s still not easy, but somehow it seems better when he explains it, a little light in his eyes and a thrill in his voice that kind of inspires. He’d make better a teacher than her current one. Much better.

She leaves with a small 'thank you’, to which Haise replies 'no problem’.

Walking home, Touka can’t seem to shake off the giddy feeling in her chest.

Maybe she should stop being so rude.

Whenever she needs it, Sasaki assists her (he told her to call him that), and their relationship improves. She finds it’s actually easy to talk to him, and soon they aren’t just talking about school.

She looks different. Her hair is longer, her cheeks just a little chubbier (which he finds adorable), and he (shamefully) notes than her body has matured, her curves more pronounced. The shirt she sports is tighter, creasing toward her chest. He desperately tries not to look - he can’t. It’s inappropriate, and perverse. But he does, his head immediately turning with a flush and a cough.

'Hey. Are you okay?’ Her hand waves in his face, grabbing his attention.

'Y-yes! I am. Extremely. Yep. Really good.’ Haise can’t remember when they first met, which he guesses was around a year ago, probably less. It shocks him to realise that she has changed over the period of time, and how he hadn’t noticed until now.

Her eyebrows raise, her single eye narrowing in an attempt to figure him out. When she futilely gives up, her gaze going blank, he knows something is wrong.

Now he pays closer attention, noticing how she chews her lips, or how she continuously twirls the same strand of luscious hair between her fingertips. Her eyes are red-rimmed, and he can see bags forming.

'Are you okay, Touka-san?’

She gives a dry laugh that is very unlike her, quickly going silent.

'My college entrance exam is coming soon. Really soon.’

'Oh,’ he says, understanding her pain, 'What college are you trying to get in?’

'Kamii.’ Touka plays with her hair, watching Haise’s face form a nostalgic one, thoughtful.

'I went there. Graduated.’ It’s more like he’s talking to himself.

'And you work here.’ It just slipped out, making Touka feel guilty, but Haise lets out a small laugh, not really caring at all; in fact, it makes him glad she isn’t completely lost. Haise remembers how he was before the exam, constantly studying and fretting over the littlest things. He refused to eat, afraid he would miss something and end up failing. When he looks back on it, Haise knows that’s probably not the attitude he should’ve had, and he hopes she’s taking care of herself.

'The exam is pretty hard though.’ He comments, 'If there’s anything I can do, please let me help.’ Haise offers, not wanting to see her look so stressed. It doesn’t suit Touka-san at all.

'I-I mean, I know someone who goes there, and they’ve been giving me worksheets… but it doesn’t feel like I’m doing enough.’ Her head is hung, looking down.

'I know how you feel. I’ll help you. Come on, we can start now.’

'Really?’

'I want to.’

Touka releases a huge breath, following him to 'their’ table. Well, it’s not hers, or his, but she’s never sat anywhere else.

In all honesty, she hadn’t expected Haise to offer to help her, but he’s so smart in everything and she knows she’s in good hands. Great, even.

They study for a long time, keeping the library open much later than he should, but no one cares enough to check or come in. He helps her with every subject she’s not comfortable with, which is most of them (Touka’s actually quite good, but not confident enough). There’s still around three weeks until the exam, and she hasn’t gone through everything, and Haise promises to help her everyday.

However, he doesn’t help her everyday. Sometimes, she comes in with a blonde friend, who giggles a lot. They sit together, dutifully revising. Her friend, Yoriko, he thinks he hears Touka hiss, is more laid back, obvious when she takes small breaks every now and then, ushering Touka to do the same, which she protests, still writing. It makes him pout, because her friend is right - she doesn’t have to work herself out.

Slowly, the days dwindle down until there’s only one night to go, and Touka is so distressed that she can’t keep still. Her hands tug her two pigtails, which he stares at.

'Touka-san,’ he puts his hands on her shoulders, trying to keep her still. Her quick breaths slow, her shoulders sloping. Her eyes close in an attempt to calm herself down, and both are relived when it works. 'Touka-san,’ he repeats, 'You have been studying so much recently. You’ve covered everything you know, and covered it again. You’ve done so much work that all you can do is… rest. I don’t think you need to do anything today.’

'But—’

'I’ll walk you home,’ Haise interjects, noticing the fear in her eyes. He gives her shoulders a small squeeze, ignoring the soft hair that threads through his hands. 'You’ll do fine, Touka-san. Kamii’ll be lucky to have you join them.’

His hands moves to her arms, slowly bringing her with him to the library doors and outside, where he locks the door. Haise accompanies her home, the conversation consisting of mainly him talking. He fills her with praises, giving her some hope. It actually makes her feel more confident.

'How’d it go?’ He asks the next day, when she comes in.

She shrugs her shoulders, simply uttering, 'I don’t know.’

Her gloomy appearance shocks him, making him feel awkward. She isn’t giving him any hints, and he can’t tell if it’s insecurity or she actually flunked the entrance exam. She stays quiet for a few minutes, and for the first time in months, she leaves early.

Haise didn’t think Touka could get any more stressed after doing the exam, but he was wrong. In fact, waiting for the results has her an even bigger mess, and he’s disappointed that the only thing he can do is constantly reassure her.

A couple weeks later, she comes in, shaking slightly, and he knows it’s got something to do with her exam. The library is empty at this point, today being one of those slow days where one or two people come, not even staying long.

After a long pause, she delivers the words, 'I got in’, watching Haise still with surprise, a warm smile melting on his face. She grins back.

In her happiness, Touka runs up to him, bringing her arms around him. She feels his hands move, resting on her back, pulling her closer as one hand goes to her hair.

'Thank you… so much Sasaki.’ She says into his chest, brimming with glee. In response, he hums, enjoying how she said his name.

'It was all you,’ he can feel her smile, 'I told you you’d get in. Well done, Touka-san.’

He can hear his heart banging against his ribcage, making his stomach erratic. This has happened before, during their studying, when their hands brush just the slightest, and for the first time it occurs to him what he’s feeling.

Oh god.

I’m in love with Touka-san.

And he can’t do anything.

They stay in the library, Haise answering all her enthusiastic questions about Kamii, even sharing some of his own experiences. The beam she has doesn’t let up once, and Haise doesn’t think he’s ever seen her so happy before. It makes him happy, too.

He tries to ignore his previous thoughts, shocked he’s fallen in love with a high schooler. Wait, he adds, practically a college student. But that doesn’t change anything, and he feels really embarrassed.

The fragrance of her long hair reaches him, making his head go light. They had embraced each other moments ago, and now all he wants is to caress her hair, and feel her body against his. He blushes, and she notices.

'Are you ill?’

'N-no, I’m fine.’

She puts her hand on his forehead, worrying.

'You’re really warm. If you’re sick you should just spit it out.’

'I think I just need some fresh air. L-let me walk you home.’

Nodding, she makes sure he puts on his coat before leaving, hoping he isn’t actually ill. Touka sets a slow pace, not trying to push him, just incase, and Haise finds himself relishing the extra time, focusing on how their steps are in time, her voice as she talks about going to college.

They get to her apartment, and she stops before getting to the door, turning back to Haise.

'Sasaki, my graduation is coming soon.’ Is it dark, or can he see red on her cheeks? 'Would you come? Please.’

'What about your family?’

'My father works overseas, and my brother’s with him.’ Her eyes are downcast, telling Haise it’s a sore subject. And since she hasn’t mentioned her mother, he doesn’t think it right to ask.

'Then I’d love to.’

Touka quickly gives him the details, excited, and goes into her apartment.

The date rolls around pretty quickly (Haise had marked it on his calendar).

He arrives early and takes his seat. The students gather, and he gives Touka a small wave when he sees her, and she returns one back.

When it’s all over, she is immediately by his side, and they leave together.

'Is there anything you want to do? Get ice cream, go for dinner? I’ll pay.’

'I’m good,’ she’s actually worn out. Right now, she just wants to relax, 'I’d rather go somewhere quiet.’

So they go to the public library, saddening Haise. After all her hard work, he just wants to see her have fun - a library doesn’t fit his expectations. But if that’s what she truly wants, how can he say no to that.

This time, Touka sits on the table, stretching her arms. He stands in front of her, and for the first time she is on his height level, which she plans to say.

'I can reach your head now.’ She says, putting a hand in his hair. Truthfully, it always looks so fluffy that she constantly wonders how it would feel, and now she can confirm it’s much softer than she expected. The dual colours mix with her insistence, and she finds it much more normal than her first impression.

He chuckles, and she grins, looking back down at him.

'I’m done with high school.’ The realisation prompts her voice to go soft.

'You are.’ He confirms, 'Will you miss it?’

'I… I don’t know.’

In the library, they whisper, slowly leaning towards each other. She can’t believe how she’s moving on, or how long she’s known Haise. She’ll be going to college soon, and she has this person to thank. A person that makes her heart race, and brings out the softer side of her. She’s matured because of him, and he’s done so much for her, and she… loves him. Has loved him for a while. So, Touka closes the distance.

When they kiss, his lips are much softer than his hair, and she presses harder against him, feeling no more pressure against her.

Quickly, Haise pulls back, touching his lips, his silence terrifying her, but then he smiles and holds her wrists, slowly moving so he towers over her.

'You feel this way too,’

And then he kisses her, maybe with more passion than her.

Touka pulls away first, trying to catch her breath. He’s so close to her now, his eyes piercing hers, making her blush. It makes her release a small squeak, the little break in her composure making him smile and kiss her again, just because he likes the feeling of her lips against his.

His hands rest on her waist, rubbing them in circles as he leaves pecks over her face and cheeks, going along her jaw. Experimentally, he flicks his tongue against her neck, relishing the soft moan that escapes her. The sound makes her flush, embarrassing her, his chuckles vibrating against her neck.

'Quit laughing.’

His response is to go back to her neck, nuzzling her with his nose, kissing lower and lower until he gets to her shirt. At a loss, he doesn’t know how to continue until she goes at her own buttons, and he is helping her, until he isn’t. He puts his hands on his wrists, stopping her.

'You want to?’ His voice is lower, but unsure.

'Y-yes.’

Then he starts undoing her buttons himself, not bothering to finish as he prompts her to bring her arms up, pulling her shirt over her head.

'Good.’ Haise kisses along her collarbone, Touka letting out a sharp gasp when he begins suckling.

There’s something pressing against her thigh, and she blushes. It all feels so serious now, but that’s exactly what she wants.

Tugging at his sweater, she enjoys the body contact as he loses his balance, falling on top of her. She can definitely feel him now, and she loops a get onto his back, rubbing against him as she pulls him into a messy kiss, her tongue flicking his lower lip.

They moan against each other’s mouths as Haise involuntarily grinds down, relieving himself.

This is the moment they begin hastily removing his sweater, and shirt, and she is shocked to see how… good he looks. His stomach is pronounced, and she runs her hands along the firm ripples.

'What the hell…’ He offers a smirk, splaying a palm over her stomach in return, loving her soft skin. His hands creep up until they are on her breasts, squeezing slightly. He hears her groan, and as she sits up slightly he takes the opportunity to unhook her bra.

'You’re better at this than I thought.’ Touka mutters, her voice going shaky as he brushes his thumb over her nipple.

'I am?’ He sounds genuinely shocked, smirking as he lowers himself to her chest, his tongue tracing the underside of her breast.

'Enjoying this?’ She pants as she nods, and Haise can feel her her hair bouncing against him. 'That’s great.’ Giving her a quick peck, he lowers himself down her body.

Her skirt is starting to irritate him, so he takes it upon himself to remove the clothing, and her socks. He kisses her up ankle, biting at her inner thigh and exhaling against her clothed sex. Her breath is starting to come short, trying to press her thighs together, which she can’t do.

'We’re really doing this.’ Haise says, entranced at the almost naked figure beneath him. His thumb presses against her underwear, circling as she cries out, moving against him. When he removes his hand, the stain is so obvious that it delights him, and he can smell her, making his head swirl.

His hands smooth over her hips before latching into her panties, removing them slowly. Gasping, she pants as a finger rubs directly against her, using two others to part her lips, so he can slip a finger in.

Touka gets wetter, whining, her hips going in circles, so he adds another finger. Her moans are increasing, so he kisses her drooling lips to quieten her, his palm cradling her clit as he thrusts slowly.

It’s just… he’s rubbing her and she can feel herself going alight, warmth is spreading in her stomach and she's—

'I- I think I’m close.’ Touka murmurs against his lips, whining when Sasaki retracts his hand, and she suddenly feels so empty.

'Not yet.’

Her eyes glaze over as he unbuckles his belt, pulling his trousers slightly down, not taking them completely off. He also pulls his underwear down, freeing his aching cock as he grabs her hips so hard that they might bruise, dragging her to the edge of the table so that her ass hangs off, and he presses himself flush against her, pausing.

'Are you sure?’ He just needs to reconfirm. There’s no way he’s doing anything she doesn’t want, or doing anything that would make her uncomfortable.

'Yes.’ Her hips wriggle, 'Now hurry.’

She grabs his cock, stroking him, his precum spreading on her hand. His eyes shut, focusing on the feeling as she positions him against her opening, waiting for him.

'Please,’ she whimpers, watching his face, staring into his eyes. Her fingertips brush his jawline, softly, before swiping his lips.

He gives her a warm gaze as his hand caresses her cheek, shifting his hips so that he nudges her opening. Grabbing her hand, he gives her a light squeeze as he pushes in. The pain makes her eyes squeeze shut as Haise buries himself in her, stopping after the when he sees her expression. He leaves kisses all over her face, as if apologising, bringing his hand to their joined sexes to rub her clit. His teeth clench as he waits for her to adjust, so tempted to simply take her roughly.

She starts to crumple, trembling as she waits.

’S-Sasaki.’ God it feels good, and she just needs him to move.

'Haise.’ He corrects.

'H-Haise,’

It spurs him on, because now he is pulling out almost completely, shoving himself back in.

'Ah!’ He drags her legs onto his shoulder, increasing his speed.

They rut against each other, senseless, fucking on a library table. It’s pretty late, so no one will walk in, but the idea of doing it in this place excites him more. Touka moves her hips in time with him, feeling him reach her deepest places. It’s too much - her jaw goes slack, and…

'I’m almost—’

'Me too,’ Haise says, leaving hickeys on her chest, 'Haah~’

He’s getting drunk on the feeling of Touka around him, clenching him, hips practically slamming against her, chasing his and her pleasure. His hands tug her long hair, biting into her neck, abusing her lips.

Touka’s eyes squeeze shut as she comes, back arching against him, whimpering his name. The look on her face and Touka squeezing him relentlessly prompts his orgasm, coming with a groan as his breath runs out and his vision flashes.

No longer able to support himself, he crumples on top of her, feeling himself grow soft inside her - he doesn’t want to pull out, enjoying the contact. Touka goes quiet, her cheeks pink as she tries to regulate her breathing, completely spent.

'Congratulations on graduating.’ He says, breathless. Her hand caresses his face, and they go in for another kiss.

#touken week #touken #kanetou #tousaki #nsfw #its supposed to be tg! touka #human au #toukenweek #touka kirishima

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