whimsisam

[whimsisam]

I installed my starter locs 2 weeks before my 20th birthday. I cut my hair short in the summer of 2024 because I wasn’t feeling it at the time, and I loved my first 2 big chops because I felt most beautiful and feminine with my short curls, so I thought “why not?” and went short and blonde. When it grew out a little, I had my mom cut me a mullet because my hair wasn’t turning out the way I wanted it to, and it gave me an excuse to jump into something funky that I’d been holding off on. I definitely got bored of it after a few weeks and put my hair in braids, and in late January this year, I decided that at some point in 2025 I’d loc up. At first, I didn't want to jump in and go for it and I thought that maybe the best time to start them would be in the spring because spring represents new beginnings. It wasn't too long after this decision that I changed my mind and figured what better time than the month of my 20th birthday: the 2nd chapter of my life.

When you're born, you start off with little to no hair, and as you grow it grows with you. I'm in the beginning stages of life all over again, kinda like when you graduate 8th grade where you were the oldest, and now you're the little one again. My locs are babies, but they're already budding in the month and 22 days that i've had them. I think I've also done some growing in the past month that I've been 20, and it's made me realize that because I started them at such an important time in life, they'll just grow as I do and they'll be a reflection of me as I move through this phase of life. I don't think many people realize how important a set of locs is. Some people do it for growth and sake of being low maintenance, but others loc up at certain points of their lives because the process is full of growth, trial and error, exploring, learning true self love and acceptance, etc. and it’s not just about the hair, but who you are becoming. We never really stop growing into ourselves because nothing but time stops that as long as you’re learning. I'm very happy and proud to have started my locs in the same month that I turned 20. It's symbolic and poetic, and I'm so excited to see how much they grow with me in these next few years, let alone the next few months.

[whimsisam]

as i go through the process of deconstructing my faith, this is something i think about often. what a blessing it is to be alive, to have gifts, to have a free mind and such a big and loving heart, and all these hopes and dreams, and all the connections you make in life. what if i really do make it to heaven despite my sins? and what if in that moment, i regret not living my life to the fullest out of fear? and so i choose to do just that.. live my life to the fullest

Replace “what if I regret this?” with “what if this sets me free?”