white-nikol

[white-nikol]

If I were to describe.

If I were to describe, My love for flowers, I would in turn ask, If  humans need not oxygen to survive. Extreme,yes,but flowers are A beautiful fragment In this chaos , I chose to call mine. I would tell It doesn’t have to be whole Or aesthetically pleasing, to be pleasant For it all becomes pleasant, if you choose for it to be. If I were to describe, The flutters that make my heart…

[white-nikol]

Half the Season.

Embracing the Unexpected: The past few months have been a vibrant tapestry woven with threads of both challenge and triumph. Navigating the post-graduation landscape, a period often fraught with uncertainty, has been met with a quiet faith. On days when anxieties loomed large, the mantra “the universe will converge” became a comforting anchor, a reminder that even beyond our control, a natural…

[white-nikol]

When it rains, it pours too.

I am barely holding on but I'll show up

A body in motion, remains in motion

So I'll show up for myself and my beautiful baby girl and the dreams of brighter days

And those 5acres of land I long to have not forgetting a white coloured Jeep Wrangler with the white interior I ask God to bless me with.

I'm not quitting on me this time round. I'll do it feeling worn out, I'll do it feeling pathetic, I'll do it feeling suicidal, I'll do it doubting, I'll do it even when I'm falling apart. The universe is converging for me. Yes, I'll hold on and see what the lord God can do for me.

[white-nikol]

━ 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙮 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙚

I dressed my soul in black for you,

Bent every rule I swore was true.

A saint turned sinner on demand,

Just to be the flame within your hand.

You speak in smoke, you breathe in lies,

But I still drown in your disguise.

You wear your guilt like designer clothes—

I kiss the thorns you never show.

And I’d burn just to glow for you,

Fall from grace so you'd want me too.

Say the words I swore I’d never use—

What’s a girl like me got left to lose?

Heaven won’t like the things I do,

But I’d ruin myself just to look good for you.

Your mouth is silk, but sharp like glass,

You never needed me to last.

But I kept bleeding just to prove

That I could be your perfect bruise.

I know your love comes at a cost,

And still I beg to pay what’s lost.

You’re poison dressed in golden light—

But baby, I still crave the bite.

And I’d fall just to rise for you,

Bend my truth till it feels brand new.

Trade my crown for your tattoos—

Dance on coals if it gets me through.

Your gods would spit at what I choose,

But I look so good when I’m ruined for you.

[white-nikol]

Blue Birds.

I swear, I have never loved anything so holy. I didn’t know I could like you even more than I did. You sigh and the whole sky leans in, You laugh and I forget my own name. When I’m with you, the world tastes heavenly. I am in trouble. WhiteFlowers. love💜❤️.

[white-nikol]

Life

“I said I would never fall unless it’s you I fall into…” Until I found her by Sanchez playing in my ears right now. Woke up pretty today but not that I’m not pretty these other days, just the hormones sprinkling me a bit of sassy ness to cover up for the cramping . This week I’ve been in the trenches emotional wise.  It felt heavy to even breathe and those voices started becoming louder. I began…

[white-nikol]

Random Sunday

Today I’m having a hard time concentrating in church. I’m here but not here at the same time. The temperatures are quite high. I look pretty in this maxi floral sundress of mine.the heat is over doing itself so is my anxiety. Blessed Sunday 🥂

[white-nikol]

Random Saturday.

Been lately anxious. I believe over something most people will say I’m just being dramatic or question why would I be anxious over such a trifle matter. I ,my sister and my mum under the same roof, makes me anxious. It’s been awhile since we both existed in the same place for more than a week. My mum will be back before Monday. I living with my sister, is okay. I living with my mum , it’s also…

[white-nikol]

[white-nikol]

Shared Moon

Even where thorny vines entwine,A hidden flower, yours and mine.We walk this path, though shadows fall,And seek the blooms that grace us all.The moon may fade, a silver ghost,But now, my love, we share this coast.Though distant, our eyes meet above,Beneath the gaze of the shared moon’s love. Whiteflowers.

[white-nikol]

HER.

You squeezed your way through, gaps I didn’t even know existed. And before I knew it, you’d found your own place within. You who I thought was spring, were all four seasons. Whiteflowers.

[white-nikol]

Random thoughts.

Today I went for a mental health walk. The first I’ve ever attended. As I slowly paced my steps, it got me thinking. I thought of how this past few days I’ve been on a gray scale, of how I cried when my girl, 5years old noticed that I’ve been isolating myself from my family and come to keep me company on my bed, the genuine hugs she’ll give me when I feel suffocated and can’t breathe properly,…

[white-nikol]

Babygirl ♥️.

[white-nikol]

Happy birthday sweetheart ♥️. My the favor of God be upon you as you turn a new chapter ✨, my His love, Grace and blessings be with you and may the universe converged for your goodness always baby 💐. Happy birthday Alusa 🥂

[white-nikol]

Healing is not linear. Take time and nurse yourself every time you get triggered.

[white-nikol]

Universe Converging.

She tastes like berries and love She is art, heaven on earth For nothings more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline Unfazed by the countless times It’s sent away. Her love consumed my fears and lit lip up the darkest parts of me❤️

[white-nikol]

Spark