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She hesitated at his uncertain words and searched his features again, desperately searching for a tell-tale that could give her more insight into his thoughts. The silence was suffocating and the awkwardness tense, but Rosa was determined to ignore it and stand her ground. She appreciated his honesty, regardless of the outcome, but she was still waiting for the day when he would fill that smothering silence with true laughter, with true merriment. How can I help make that happen?

When his gaze returned to her eyes and bored into their green depths, probing, she took a sharp breath and dared not turn away. She maintained her composure and stared back, unwaveringly, but she did not reply – not yet.

As she stood there, locked in his gaze and locked in silence, she could not help but reflect at how the three of them had grown – how they all had changed – and yet, that was to be expected, surely? One of the scholars had always told her, whispering amongst books and scrolls – war shapes people anew, just like landscapes, and a soldier would often return to his family changed and altered. Perhaps they had grown more mature and more changed beyond the number of their years, and as Rosa and Cecil grew more distant, it was not unexpected that their love would change into a more platonic feeling – right? It was just as strong… but different.

She had months to ponder over the incessant questions which gnawed into her mind daybreak and sundown, in the loneliness of her room where the walls were her only company and confidants. She had not wanted to unleash her thoughts or her feelings on anyone in the Castle, she did not want to burden them – especially Cecil, and so she battled her ponderings herself, alone.

Biting her lip, she realised that perhaps she had been lonely – maybe she still was.

At the corner of her gaze, she noticed Kain’s backward step and panic flared through her. Somehow, in that instant, she knew what she needed. All of these feelings had been ignored and allowed to rise up, seething and raging, but still she ignored them. However, Kain, somehow, had helped her come to terms with the truth and what she needed. How selfish of her, it made her mouth feel sour and bitter, but it was still the truth.

Responding to his retreat, she took a step forward and bored her eyes into his gaze with a fiery strength that was both pleading and powerful. Kain’s presence had soothed her – despite the awkward atmosphere – and had allowed her to come to terms with her feelings, and be honest with herself for once. She couldn’t lose that or him again. Family stood together.

“… I cannot say.”  She finally responded to his question and her lips turned upwards into a smile, amused by her mimicked answer but it was an honest reply. With a long, deep sigh, she shook her head – her long, golden hair following the movement – and smiled, almost sadly. “I’ve forgotten how to look after myself it seems. I heal the wounded and tend to the sick but I’ve worked myself into the night, refusing to listen to my heart or pay any heed to my thoughts, and I fear that I’ve become oblivious in my blindness.”

Now she paused and gulped, nervously, but she still held her gaze and stood her ground. “Return, Kain. To Baron, to everyone.” Frantically, she continued. “I do not wish to force this on you or say how long you should stay but – it would be right.”

He let an awful silence drag through the air like a razor’s edge, let it cut him to his soul.  He longed to say yes and see her smile for real and truly, but he would not lie over something so trivial.  

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OOC

Apologies for not being around. :D I've been busy with university stuff and I will be busy for the next week or two. However, tonight, is ROLEPLAY NIGHT. So I'll be around and roleplaying. <3

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Unheeded questions raced through Rosa’s mind as she dangled there, pathetically – she did not have the strength to focus on her frantic ponderings or even answer them. She was too exhausted.

With a feeble plea, she attempted to feel the familiar touch of magic in her soul but the response was so fragile, she was scared that if she pushed the magic to obey it would break – and so would she. With her strength diminished and her magical prowess frail, she was vulnerable and alone. Fear surged through her body like fire, a burning and panicky sensation that reassured her that she was still alive but for how long, she wondered? Despair and hopelessness were not far, they stalked her from within the shadows, but she would be damned if she was going to surrender without a fight. She was a woman of Baron, the Lady of its Mages and the Lady of its Castle – she had loved ones to protect, to return to. That was the only motivation she needed to continue fighting, to continue living.

I have braved deserts, alone, and I have extinguished monsters with both arrow and spell – I can survive this. Her thoughts immediately ceased when she heard the footsteps, when she heard that voice. She chose to keep her eyes closed, for now, and hid behind a veil of long golden hair which stuck to her face like honey.

As she listened intently to the stranger’s speech which sounded as each syllable was being hissed out with venomous and threatening poison, she was careful to maintain an impassive composure even if the words of this female voice were breaking through her emotional shields. Fear was returning to her. The Tower of Zot? What do they want with me? Where is Cecil? Why am I here? She was alone – trapped – and she suddenly felt like a deer surrounded by a pack of wolves - no, a pride of lions.

The innate levels of pure feral fury which this stranger created were nauseating in intensity. Rosa felt like she was sitting in a forest canopy during a lightning storm. She was intimidated to be near such raw strength and to be able to feel the air crackle beneath its unearthly power but it was still undeniably dangerous and foolhardy to linger for too long. Unfortunately for Rosa, she had no choice but to dangle there and endure it.

Weakly opening her eyes, she dared not lift her gaze to look at the stranger but instead focused her attention on a random point on the floor. “Where are my companions?” She asked in a surprisingly strong tone. Undoubtedly there was fear in her voice but there was also confidence and pride. A fool’s pride perhaps.

Rosa/Barb Headcanon (Flashback RP)

The walls of her boudoir – her sole company – watched as her fingers trembled and body succumbed to a spasm of tics, spasmodically scratching at the sheets, as if she was tangled in lightning. Answering the outside’s howling winds; she exhaled a wavering cry – low and piteous – and sharply twisted beneath the sheets as if she was evading some sort of invisible predator.

Whilst the tempest continued to rage outside, building in volume and in intensity, she continued to coil and wind in her bed, breathing raggedly, as if she was wrestling demons. Her eyes rolled back and forth beneath closed lids; skin clammy under a film of sweat, and as the storm reached its violent peak – a choir of rampant wails and screams – she succumbed to her nightmare and drowned in its darkness…

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Cecil & Rosa (FFIV).

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ooc: Oh fantastic. |: Lots of torture times for Rosa. HOW FUN. I have to disappear quickly to deal with dragons and I do have a raid this evening, so if I do not reply to it before 7:30 pm then it shall be posted after 10:30 pm. YEAH TIMEZ. |: I'm loving the drama between Barb and Rosa. THE PAIN, THE AGONY, OH ALAS. Anyway, yeah. |8

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ooc: Shhhh I’m already typing it bby. ;D -lovesat- Have fun at the postoffice. I’m writing down srs tactics for slaying dragons.

ooc; gotcha. |D I just really feel like playing flashback!Barb because I’ve been playing so much When They Cry lately. Obvs I turn to you to take it out on. :| I’ll disappear again in about an hour, since apparently that’s when it’s open. |:

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[Her eyes soften at his expression and she turns her attention to the sky, studying it with a concentrated look.] Perhaps you will be able to see snow soon if those silvery clouds there stretch across the skies – perhaps they will shower us with wintry weather. [Lowers her gaze and smiles warmly, folding her arms in front of her.] But I must confess… the first shower of snow is usually entertaining for only a moment. It loses its amusement when the grounds freeze and the winds howl with bitter ferocity. In those times, Lord Ajora, it is best to stay warm and safe. Nothing burns like the cold.

[Waves a hand through the air and laughs.] Forgive me, I sound so negative! I am sure you will be able to enjoy your first snowfall here. If it snows when I am present, I will seek you out and inform you – so you do not miss it. [Beams a brilliant smile.]

You have never been able to see the winter from your domain? [Pauses and exhales a soft chuckle, her breath freezing in the air. She watches it with a smile.] Winter is certainly intriguing. You can wake up from a soundless sleep to find the world changed – the hills and...

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The child spun around to face the Lady with a look of pure disbelief. “But the winter is so bleak and boring! All you see is white, grey and brown!”

Rosa’s eyes softened at the child’s expression and she chuckled at his words. “Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. If you look more closely at the world around you, you will be able to see beauty and promise no matter where you are – and if you wish, you could imagine the skies red and the snow green! Winter for a child is not a bleak time. It is a time for you to appreciate life.”

Now the child’s face changed into a look of incredulity, uncertain how to answer his Lady’s strange wisdom as she caressed his wounds with a glowing hand and an expression of warmth but honest sincerity. Amused by his baffled silence, Rosa laughed a cheerful and joyous laugh and pulled the flushed boy towards her, gently kissing his forehead. “Think on what that means and you will be able to brave any winter, no matter how cold, no matter how bleak. Create warm, joyous memories and they will be able to warm your future winters for years to come. Go now, your mother awaits your return.”

Blushing and baffled, the boy stumbled for an appropriate response but found none. He tripped over his feet as he hastily bowed to his Lady and withdrew from the healing chambers, still blushing.

Smiling, she folded her arms in her lap and lifted her gaze to stare at the wintry landscape through the grand windows. Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. Make warm, bright memories and you will be able to brave through any winter, child.

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You have never been able to see the winter from your domain? [Pauses and exhales a soft chuckle, her breath freezing in the air. She watches it with a smile.] Winter is certainly intriguing. You can wake up from a soundless sleep to find the world changed – the hills and landscape could be concealed in thick layers of white snow, and the skies are always more blue and vibrant in the wintertime. It has its own unique, peerless beauty; captivating in its own ways.

[Her expression brightens at his words and she laughs, averting her gaze to their surroundings.] Indeed! I hope so. I had planned to perform my outside duties today and it would certainly be more cheerful if my skin was not burning from the cold! [Grins, her eyes returning to the other.] And perhaps it will encourage the others to wake if they feel the winds change.

[She closes her eyes; her lips turning upwards in a small, gentle smile.] It is quiet this morn. I doubt the others would wish to wake when it is this cold and bitter. [Pulls her cloak around her, taking comfort in the soft and warm cocoon.] I have always thought that the...

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[She closes her eyes; her lips turning upwards in a small, gentle smile.] It is quiet this morn. I doubt the others would wish to wake when it is this cold and bitter. [Pulls her cloak around her, taking comfort in the soft and warm cocoon.] I have always thought that the feeling of coldness is a lot more unpleasant than the extremes of heat. I have braved deserts but the cold- [She opens her eyes to study the other before her.] The cold burns more intensely and unforgivably than the fire.

[In a swift motion she bows her head with respect.] Nevertheless, I wish you a good morning, Lord Ajora. Perhaps the weather will favour our calling and change into something less dreary! [She lifts her head and her smile widens into a bright grin, her gaze softening into a warm look.]

'Tis silent this morning..

And rather cold as well. *Wraps his robes tighter against him.* I do not believe anyone is here so early in the hours of the cold morning..

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As her thoughts raced from one worry to the next, they immediately ceased when she heard his question – no, when she heard his tone. She winced at his somewhat reproachful inquiry and lifted her gaze to his eyes, searching desperately for a way to answer, for a way to make this right. Cecil and Kain meant everything to her, their friendship had been her strength and motivation through torture and through war, and it continued to encourage her in the present. They were a part of her life which she could not live without – to her, Cecil was the moon which shone their way to the future, Kain was the sky which oversaw everything as a natural, silent guardian and she was their earth, bringing them balance and security to their world. How could she bear to lose that bond?

Biting her lip, she felt herself waver. Had Cecil’s and Rosa’s divide caused this? Guilt surged through her and her heart felt heavy. No. I will not let us walk down this path. Not after everything we have gone through as a trio and as individuals. With determination, her eyes darkened slightly into a look of pure resolve and she straightened her posture, proudly.

Was she happy? She was exhausted and her status was demanding, but she had come to terms with Cecil a few months ago, and in truth, she had felt alone on some nights when the air was cold and nippy, but she was still content. Baron was prospering well, Cecil was cheerful, Kain was safe and her friends were alive. She understood that her happiness was tied to others’ joy – perhaps that was a negative thing – but she found genuine strength and delight in their laughter.  How could she not?

After she had a moment to think, her gaze softened. “I am.” It was a simple response but she wanted to speak with enough sincerity and strength for Kain to believe her, for Kain to accept the new changes and to find happiness himself. Pausing, she searched him again – an action she had performed many times since they were young children, as if she was trying to solve or understand a mystifying puzzle that continued to perplex and yet intrigue her.

“Are you, Kain?” She asked in a gentle and soft tone, underlined with concern but honest interest. When will he be happy? When will he smile with joy and happiness like the others?

Baron’s Guardian Shadow: whitemagicrosa:...

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[Closes her eyes and laughs, leaning into his hold] Is that so? Then you have my apologies, dear Cecil, but I must confess - I am still doubtful... [Opens an eye and looks up at him, her smile brightening] For you have that unmistakable twinkle in your eye!

[Closes her eyes again, chuckling softly, and nods sleepily] Perhaps it is. It has been a long day and no doubt you have also been busy too! Be sure to sleep well, Cecil - I will know if you have not. [Nuzzles lightly, happy to be with him again as she had missed him, and begins to speak in a slow, drowsy voice] And tell Ashe when you see her that she needs to see the lion- it's grown- and you must too- [Drifts off, her body slacking as sleep takes her - her hand still holds onto his arm, her expression peaceful]

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|: Cecil. [Pokes his cheek, squints] What are you doing, oh mischievous one? [Fights back a yawn and leans against him, soon drifting off]

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|: Cecil. [Pokes his cheek, squints] What are you doing, oh mischievous one? [Fights back a yawn and leans against him, soon drifting off]

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[She lifts her gaze to inspect her friend, boring into his eyes with her own. Submitting, she exhales a soft sigh and smiles lightly. He needs to know. Drastic changes are always hard to adjust to – it took Rosa a while to amend to the new deviations in her life – but she did come to terms with it. Hopefully, Kain would also understand Cecil’s decision and new path in life.] After we fought for the Blue Planet and saved our homeworld, we took a well-deserved respite from stress and trauma to take a breath, to come to terms with our new place in the world and what we have all achieved – together. During that time- [She falters now, her eyes clouded with a mixture of emotions. With determination, she continues, and puts on another grin.] I am not too sure how to explain it, it is a perplexing thing. We were parted for some time – he was imbedded into his new duties as our King – and I was also busy with my own duties as Lady of Baron, as well as healing the wounded. We were close – and still just as close – but I believe the winds changed and after discovering this mystifying place-

[Pauses and boldly outstretches her hand, lightly resting it on the other’s arm – an action that is designed to provide security or perhaps give strength to herself. She is desperate inside to make things right – to make sure things are right. She would not let the bonds between the three shatter.] He is happy, Kain, and the bonds between us – us three – will always be there, and it will always be strong. Things may have changed in some cases but he is happy and we are all still a family. [Slowly withdraws her hand and averts her gaze to the side. Perhaps it is not her place to explain any further regarding the details of Cecil’s partner or Cecil’s reasoning – perhaps it is Cecil’s place to expand on the matter.]

Baron’s Guardian Shadow: Rosa and...