whoiougfkxgdghj - Tumblr blog

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

You of all people should know that I am not nice. Haven't you heard? I'm a cold hearted bitch. I am honest, not nice. If you want happiness get a puppy, I am trying to tell you how things are. Nothing will ever change if you continue having that type of shit stuck in your head. You will not fulfill your ambitions with a mentality of 'oh my life sucks, because my parents died". So many great heroes have been our role models, and you can be one if you just let them go.

I p-promise to try, and not be mean. I'll be your friend. I'll annoy the shit out of you.

Fallon, you don’t know shit. I know you’re being nice, but nothing you say will change anything. My life was and still is shit. Very few things make me happy and that’s just fucking sad. Uh, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this. Tomorrow will just be like any other day, you’ll just go back to being mad at me.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Well Ryder, it's the most inevitable thing. Death. It will someday happen, maybe in the most unexpected way or so expected that you make your last words legendary. But it is the end and you can't just mop around thinking about it. You have to make yourself be known around our world, when even after we are dead that people will still remember us. You, as the most brave, the Achilles of our generation. Me, well of course the most strong-willed and talented dynamite of our generation. Just imagine it, let that ambiton be enough to forget the shitty past.

Everyone has their opinion, Fallon. Yeah, but we all have the same fucking destiny. Death. Everyone dies and some for no fucking reason. Oh you can’t outrun an “accidental” fire, you die. You get shot, you die. You have a disease, you die. Everyone fucking dies.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Ugh, I hate Chihuahas. So yappy and hyper, god I can't stand them.

That’d be mine, if you see a Chihuahua I’ve lost one of those as well.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

How depressing, well at least we have more space now.

Well basically the South Wing is now ash and we’ve been relocated to the West Wing Dorm 005. It’s you, me, Jordan, and Cara. Thalia’s stuck in East with Reese, that Hollywood chick, and some irrelevant chick.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

I really think that you are strong Ryder, not a pretender but truly you. William, Lilith and Sam make up you and I think that's better than being the 'strong' type you want to be. Maybe it wasn't their fate to live, I'm not saying that it was okay for it to happen but you can't live life thinking what if they lived and so. We all have our own destinies some take longer than others, some come too soon.

That’s truly what this is. It’s just me pretending something I’m not. *he pulls their dog tags out from under his shirt* They’re always with me. William and Lilith Burke always follow me in silence. Sammy is right beside me, but I can’t help but feel like they should’ve lived. Not dying in that fire was a miracle. I was two years old and I survived. They were much older and perished.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

You aren't pretending to be strong Ryder, because you are. You really are, having that haunting you for eighteen year is being strong. Don't let it go, have them in your heart for as long as you can, don't let yourself forget them. But know, that they would've wanted for you to be happy and I know that you won't end up dead.

Don’t you get it Fallon. They’re dead. My parents, dead. My brother dead. I’m alone and I just want to scream, but I can’t. I have to keep it together or I’ll also end up dead. I don’t know how long I could keep this up. I don’t know how long until I can actually be strong enough to move on.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

You know you will never be truly alone, you'll have other people. Maybe not from here but meet them someday. Look Ryder, I won't take pity on you. Because all of your past makes up who you are today. I for hell would not want anyone else that isn't you in my life. So all those memories, scars, wounds will never be fully gone because they are part of you and they make up you.

I'm perefectly sure you will find someone that truly loves you.

You know how they say time wounds all scars. That’s not true. I was two, it was eighteen years ago and to this day I’m not used to it. To this day can’t get over the fact that like you said I will truly be alone. This place is my home and once I leave I’ll have nowhere to go. I’ll have nobody to say they’re proud of me or even ignore me for that matter. I never had anybody to tuck me in or kiss me goodnight. I didn’t have anybody who truly loved me…

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Like you said Ryder, I don't know you, I might never know you. But I know some of your quirks and the facial expressions you have. Like that smile you have when you just did the impossible, or when you crunge your eyebrows together when you are taking a test. This facial expression, though, I have never seen it. That worries me more than you think.

You don't have to talk about it ever, we can just sit here in a not awkward silence.

You think you know me, but you don’t Fallon. I just can’t talk about it. I’ve never talked about it and I never will.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

I guess so.

Keep lying to yourself, I know something is up. Six years of knowing you and you think I wouldn't know when something is wrong with you. Though I did spend most of those years ignoring you.

Every person has their ways.

Nothing’s on my mind/ Absolutely nothing.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Headcanon

When Mallory was little and cried, Fallon could never not go to her and cuddle her until she would fall asleep. To this day she can't stand the sound of crying, because of that she becomes a big sister to anyone who cries in front of her.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

None, I just heard there was a fire. Really, I've been here for so little which mostly was about me in the gym or class getting back on track. I know so little.

Fallon, what part of the entire South Wing burned down don’t you understand?

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Lucky, did any of our stuff burn?

As you should be. I couldn’t handle the lower levels panicking for more than five minutes before I went home.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Well, now I feel bad for drinking. But it was only a cup so...

You got bambi's eyes. Are you going to say what is on your mind?

I don’t drink before a big mission.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Okay, that's new. Now, what happened?

I’m not drinking.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

I'm just glad I missed the fire.

Lucky bitch. I ditched this place after the fire broke out and went home. Perks of living a mile away from here.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

At least don't drink all the alcohol on yourself.

[whoiougfkxgdghj]

Nothing.

That’s so weird. No note?