whoisthisguyandwhyishehere

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Crazy how bullying is not really acknowledged as a real trauma like you really have to endure years and years of lord of the flies and then just move on like it never happened

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

What do we think of "The Wild Robot" as an adoption narrative?

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

I've been doing some thinking recently and I think I may be a butch woman. But in a transgender way. Like I'm not cis but I'm not a man but also kind of. Idk I've been feeling confused recently but butch is starting to seem like the best label. Also, I just heard transgender described as "transgressively gendered," and I really like that

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

This adoption plot line on coronation street is baaaaaad. Why did they write kit like that cmon man

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

As I get older, one thing I realize is that no one has any clue what they're doing or what's going on.

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Finally accepting the fact my male adopter is an abusive piece of shit. I have to survive three more months in this house then I will NEVER be returning.

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Did growing up in your adoptive family feel isolating for you?

Oh absolutely. Even before I came out of The Fog & before i had the words to describe the feelings I had, I always knew I didn't really fit into my adoptive family. I look nothing like them & I don't have the same mannerisms or quirks they have. Their family history isn't really mine because I'm not the descendent of Welsh & Irish immigrants that escaped British tryanny. I could keep providing examples but I think you get my point. That doesn't mean I don't love them but no amount of pretending or lying to myself is going to change the fact that my $25k price tag & some legal paperwork doesn't magically make that innate feeling of not belonging go away. It's something I'll carry with me to the grave & I really wish I didn't have to.

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Boys will read discipline and punish once and loose all faith in society

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

will never not be crazy to me how something supposed to be child centered works so hard to protect the parents instead of the actual children

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

An idea that would not leave me alone, so I thought I'd put it out for anyone to play with.

~~~

"Father, I need you to sign these papers." A stack was neatly placed next to Bruce.

Bruce almost didn't look at them. He almost assumed that they were report cards or something similar from school. Almost.

He glanced at the papers and then went through them. Thoroughly. "Damian, these are adoption papers."

"Yes, Father," agreed Damian mildly.

"For two people. Jasmine and Daniel Fenton."

"They prefer to be referred to by the nicknames 'Jazz' and "Danny'," Damian corrected.

Bruce felt a headache starting. "Damian, why are you giving me adoption paperwork?"

"To welcome my new siblings into the manor of which all my siblings have been welcomed."

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Having people , especially friends, say "oh i want to adopt!" Is like hearing "your trauma is my aspiration."

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Is there a term for adoptive parents that doesn't include the word parent ? Dont really see my aps as my parents but dont know what to call them otherwise

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Children's oppression and lack of humanization is one topic that makes my insides feel like they're rotting and I'll die on the hill of defending them and pointing out how fucking gross it is every single time people act like it's cool actually to hate a group of people who are the least able to defend themselves in any terrible situation

Y'all will scream "protect queer kids" "protect trans kids" "protect kids of color" then forget all that and proudly stand behind "well kids are fucking annoying in public actually so it's fine when I talk about wanting to have grocery stores and planes that are child free :)" individualism has killed humanity so deeply

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

can we….can we please talk about how the found family trope has turned into straight up romanticizing adoption?

i see it more and more and as an adoptee it makes me sick because most of the time it’s by bio spawn.

if it were common for adoptees who are not out of the fog and/or in general have complex feelings about their adoption and wish to process those things by having fiction in which the characters have agency and autonomy, reinforcing the idea of choice, then my opinion would be different. but no, it’s pretty much always kept people ignoring the “families of choice” and “found family label” in order to romanticize the act of being adopted, something they have not experienced while having zero knowledge of how adoption actually works. there’s always this underlying aspect of adoption means love when that is statistically and narratively untrue. but they don’t know that and don’t care to look further because they love the trope more than they’ll ever love an actual adoptee who is out of the fog and sees the adoption industry for what it is.

instead, they think of it closer to pet adoption than to human adoption, making it cute and fluffy and looking at the savior complex through rose colored glasses. they use adopted in the theoretical sense, like how bio spawn people use it in real life, ignoring how adoption is a legal process, something that causes trauma, something that costs lives.

and on top of spinning our trauma into an idealistic fantasy that ultimately ends up being a nuclear family with extra steps, they ignore actual adoptees. they ignore our stories and our voices and continue to consume and create media that completely disregard how we actually feel about our experiences and instead turn it into a borderline fetishized (and sometimes actually fetishized) dynamic that makes them feel good.

things would be different if the adoption industry in the US did not pour so much money into manipulating the public into believing that adoption is inherently a good thing done by good people who just want to help kids. it’s clearly seen in how much people love the orphan trope in fiction. despite 97% of real orphans worldwide being manufactured because of the adoption industry, people eat it up every time, let it feed their already existing opinions of how adoption works, and then romanticize adoption in fiction as well. it’s a vicious cycle that bio spawn do not realize causes harm. and if we say something, we are pretty much always the problem because they’re obsessed with the fictional grateful orphan who was taken in by a loving person out of the kindness of their heart and how could that not be true in real life?

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

when an adoptee asks someone to stop doing something that hurts them and other adoptees, you'd think it'd be common courtesy to simply stop doing the thing that hurts adoptees but noooo it has to be made into such a huge deal by non-adoptees. just because you cannot understand their pov does not mean it is wrong, or attacking, or that adoptees are too sensitive. Adoptees can be made up of anyone. Please stop silencing adoptees. Please start listening without attacking.

the ignorance surrounding adoption is so infuriating. start listening to the lived experience of adoptees and learning what is it like.

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

Hi hi! I'm not sure if you already have a post on this or something similar, and if you don't want to answer the question, you absolutely don't have to, but I was just wondering for some examples or what is and what isn't romanticization of adoption?

i have no idea if this is an old message but its probably a good thing to throw something like this out into the #adoptee tag and other adoption tags n ask there for other opinions since I dont consume a crap ton of media

bad examples and stuff you shouldnt say is stuff like this and akin to it etc "Bob should adopted todd and they would be such a cute family!" and stuff as the such. Not sure if your from the genshin fandom but someone said that about nevuillete and the twins n fremmy and it was super weird n gross. just blatant needing of a nuclear / nuclear like family in fiction (super fucking weird since their whole thing is being a family founded via orphange trauma (foster irl since like. orphanages dont exist atleast not in the us)

another adoptee mentioned how the last wish puss in boots was really bad adoptee rep . i forget what they said but it did feel a bit akin to silencing adoptees trauma and transracial trauma and wanting to have a piece of culture back (i mean its species in this case but you get what i mean)

the mob psycho fandom has a bad habit of using adoption romanticization in fanon and fanfic, saying stuff like

"i wanna adopt him" about non animal characters is very weird.. their not pets and its just aughh.. gross... vibes there

when people act like adoption makes a perfect family or adoption is a perfect family/ adoptees have a perfect family is super gross. its very much silencing adoptees and the possible abuse. adoptive parents are people and parents, they can be good bad and everything in between.

adoption needs to be written with nuance and research and preferably asking adoptees questions and reviewing the work etc. its okay to ask adoptees if what you are writting is bad or not.

also DEFO stay away from adding adoption to found family unless it actually makes sense. found family isnt suppose to always have to have nuclear family roles etc, people doing that or trying to make it like that forget the whole point of the trope

this is written and formatted badly.. im on my pc lol. feel free to re ask me this some time maybe ill come up with something better :')

[whoisthisguyandwhyishehere]

"letter to my birth mother"

a brief memoir minicomic about being an adoptee.